Chapter 1

Josiah craned his head, cursing his utter lack of height. Most days, he didn't mind being only five-foot-six, but it was damn inconvenient when he wanted to spot someone in a crowd. Especially when it was a busy airport like LaGuardia.

Where was Denali? He caught sight of a raised hand and smiling eyes that were still so familiar. Josiah's face split open in a wide grin. It had been six months since he'd seen his best friend—about five months more than they both preferred—but life had gotten in the way.

His backpack bounced on his back as his stride quickened, and his carry-on suitcase nearly slid from his hand, but he set a course straight for Denali. A few moments later, they were in each other's arms. Josiah breathed him in, tears forming in his eyes. How could Denali still smell the same after all that time?

"God, I've missed you," Denali mumbled, echoing Josiah's feelings.

"Same. I'm so glad I'm here."

Denali finally released him, though their hands remained clasped, unwilling to let go completely. "So am I. We're gonna have the best week ever." He gave Josiah a thorough once-over. "You look tired."

Josiah snorted. "Thank you. Glad to see my efforts of putting on some makeup this morning are appreciated."

Denali chuckled. "Oops, sorry. Didn't mean it like that."

Josiah sighed. "No, but you're not wrong. I am tired."

Denali cupped his cheek and pressed a soft kiss on his lips, a warm reminder of their past. They'd been each other's first until they'd decided they were way better off as friends. Soulmates. "You're here now, and we'll take good care of you."

They linked arms as they headed for the exit. "Did you drive here?" Josiah asked.

"God, no. I don't even own a car. Milan and Asher both do, and technically, I'm allowed to drive them, but…" He shrugged. "They'd prefer me not to."

"I take it your driving skills haven't improved?" When they'd been teens, living just outside of Anchorage, getting into a car with Denali behind the wheel had tripled his heart rate and blood pressure.

"I haven't driven in years, so no, not really. And the traffic here is insane, so they prefer I take an Uber or cab."

Josiah wasn't surprised. He'd met Milan and Asher, Denali's two boyfriends, a few times by now, and both were the overprotective type. Milan especially. He scared Josiah a little, although he also found him insanely hot. When Milan put on his Dom voice… Josiah shivered. He could see why Denali was so crazy happy with his men.

Was it too much to ask that Josiah find one too? He wasn't asking for two. Just one man, one Dom, to take care of him. That shouldn't be so hard, right? Alas, reality had shown time and again that it was.

They didn't have to wait long for an Uber and then set course for Brooklyn, where Denali lived with his men. Dusk was falling over the city, and everywhere, lights were coming on. Josiah leaned back into the cushioned seat, his gaze flitting across the cityscape.

A hand briefly touched his. "You okay?" his friend asked.

Denali had always been able to read him like a book.

"Chicago's been"—Josiah fiddled with the hem of his shirt, a unique design he'd made himself—"lonely."

"Lonely?" Denali furrowed his brow, concern washing over his features. "Still? You've been there three years now."

"Yeah, you know, the community there… I just can't seem to find my place." Josiah's lips twisted, but the smile didn't reach his eyes. "I guess I'm not the type of sub they're looking for, or maybe I'm too much."

"Josiah, you're perfect," Denali reassured him gently. "You're passionate, creative. Anyone would be lucky to have you."

Josiah was touched by the sincerity in Denali's words. "Thanks, D. I know you mean that, but it feels like I'm wearing a high maintenance tag on my forehead. It's frustrating, you know?"

"Of course I know." Denali laced their fingers together. "But you're here now. We'll figure this out together."

Josiah's tension eased. He wanted to believe that somewhere in the vast tapestry of this city's nightlife, a thread was waiting to weave him into the fold. He wanted to believe in the possibility of belonging without having to dim his vibrant hues. He wanted to believe that he, too, would find happiness—someday, somehow, somewhere.

"Tonight, we're going to this club I've been telling you about. Milan has been a member for years, and Asher and I love it there as well. It's a safe space, very welcoming. You may find what you're looking for."

Josiah met Denali's earnest gaze. "You really think I'll find a Dom willing to play with me?" His heart skipped a beat with the rush of nervous excitement.

"Absolutely. It's a big club, and there's a lot of single Doms. It's why Milan always has me collared when we go. He wants to make sure everyone knows I'm taken."

A collar. Something Josiah could only dream of. Not that a collar in itself appealed to him. They looked so uncomfortable and stiff. He preferred softer materials against his sensitive skin, thank you very much. But he loved the idea it represented—of ownership and care. Of someone being in charge so he wouldn't have to make all the decisions. Because he was so, so tired of always having to make the calls. Who knew adulting was so damn stressful?

The Uber pulled up to the quaint brownstone where Denali lived, nestled amid the vibrant cacophony of Brooklyn. Denali and his men occupied the bottom two floors while friends of theirs—Kenn and his Daddy, Warrick—lived on the top floor. They stepped out into the evening air, the warmth of the sun still lingering, and Josiah stretched as Denali got his luggage from the trunk.

The interior of the house had Denali's touch all over it. He'd decorated it in cool blues and grays, with gorgeous framed nature photographs in the hallway, living room, and dining room. Their bedroom featured framed art as well, but of the NSFW kind, including some beautiful nude pictures of Denali tied up and on his knees.

"Remember that treehouse we built back home? We were, what, ten?" Josiah chuckled as Denali dropped his luggage by the door. He'd drag it into his guest room later.

Denali laughed. "How could I forget? You went through your DIY phase and insisted on building the damn thing ourselves. We nearly froze our butts off, but it was worth every minute."

"Best summer ever." Josiah wandered over to the photos lining the mantel, snapshots of their youth amid the wild, untamed beauty of Alaska. Warmth filled him at seeing his own face in several pictures. "So many good memories here."

Denali stood next to him and leaned his head against Josiah's. "I'm glad that, looking back, the good still dominates and not the bad."

"Same."

Oh, they both had plenty of bad memories too. Growing up gay in a conservative community had not been easy, and they'd born the disapproval and displeasure of parents, classmates, and neighbors, but they'd always had each other, and that had made a world of difference.

Denali's phone beeped, and his face lit up as he read the message. "Milan and Asher are on their way and should be here in about fifteen minutes."

"They always travel together?"

"No, but Asher picks Milan up from the precinct if their schedules allow it. Since they both work irregular hours, it often doesn't work out, but they're happy when it does."

Milan was a homicide detective with the NYPD, and Asher worked for the FBI, so yeah, not exactly regular schedules. "You were able to take off this whole week, right?"

Denali nodded. "I only work part-time at Luciano's anyway, so it's never that big a deal."

"You still like it?"

"Being a waiter is not my dream job, but I like it well enough, and being home all day every day isn't good for me. Milan and Asher work long hours, so I need something to keep me busy."

Before, Denali had worked in the White House as part of the waitstaff, a job that had been far more glamorous. That was also where he'd met Milan, the brother-in-law of President Shafer, who'd occupied the White House then, and Asher, who had been a Secret Service agent.

"How's your business going?" Denali gestured for Josiah to follow him into the kitchen.

"Good. Sales are steady and just enough to keep up, so I can't complain." He made a face. "Of course, Etsy takes more and more in fees, so over time, that could become an issue, but I still love being my own boss."

Denali grabbed some containers from the fridge. "I saw that new bag you put up last week, the one with the mermaid theme. Gorgeous. I seriously contemplated buying it, but I already have fifteen of your bags in my closet. Milan said he'd spank my ass cherry red if I bought another one—his words."

Josiah snorted. "As if you mind being spanked."

"Oh, trust me, he's not talking about a fun spanking. That man can make it hurt."

"Still, you love that, don't you?"

Denali frowned as he put the contents of the containers in bowls and set the first one in the microwave. "I don't love pain itself. I love it because Milan especially likes to see me suffer. I love that he loves it because I love him. If that makes sense."

It did, and jealousy stabbed Josiah's heart, but he ignored it. "Asher doesn't like to see you suffer?"

Asher was a switch, which Josiah found hard to wrap his mind around.

"He does, but in a different way. Asher is softer and prefers different methods to make me suffer… like edging or forbidding me to come."

Josiah widened his eyes. "For how long?"

"So far, the record is two weeks, and let me tell you, those were the longest two weeks of my life."

Wasn't it fascinating how something could be awful yet intriguing at the same time? The idea of not being allowed to come for two weeks was horrifying, but Josiah relished someone having that power over him.

A key turning in the lock heralded the arrival of Milan and Asher, and Denali's face lit up like the sky during an Alaskan midnight sun. He dropped what he had in his hands and dashed to the front door, where he jumped into Milan's arms. Josiah watched as the man—and god, he got sexier every time Josiah saw him—thoroughly kissed Denali.

When he was finally done, he handed him over to Asher, who did the same. Denali melted against him, and a fresh pang of loneliness hit Josiah. He was so happy for his best friend and, at the same time, so sad and desperate.

Finally, they finished greeting each other and walked into the kitchen.

"Good to see you, Josiah." Milan kissed Josiah on the cheek. He wasn't a hugger, that one.

Asher was, and he enveloped Josiah in a warm embrace. "Glad to see you, kid. Denali's been looking forward to your visit for weeks."

"Thank you. I couldn't wait to come here either."

They shared a simple but tasty meal of varied kinds of pasta Denali had brought home from the restaurant where he worked as a waiter. "The one benefit of working there is the food," Denali said with a grin. "Although that many carbs may not be good for my figure."

He had become even rounder and fuller since leaving the White House, but Josiah thought it looked good on him.

"I love your curves," Asher said.

"I love your ass especially," Milan chimed in, waggling his eyebrows.

Denali rolled his eyes. "I know, Sir. Trust me, I know."

"Are you ready for tonight?" Asher asked Josiah, his eyes twinkling with mischief and promise.

"More than ready," Josiah said, his voice hitching slightly on the edge of anticipation and anxiety. "Though I will need some time to get changed."

"Oh, no worries. We're used to it with our Blue." He sent a look of warm affection toward Denali.

"Hey, looking pretty takes time," Denali said.

"Nah, not for you. You're always pretty, Blue."

Milan coughed. "Jesus, Asher, where do you get that cheesy stuff from?"

"You're just jealous because I said it first and because Blue loves it when I say things like that… and you can't ever come up with them."

"Words are not my forte, okay? I have other qualities."

Without hesitation, Asher leaned over and squeezed Milan's cock through his pants. "You sure do."

"Do I need to put you over my knee, boy?" Milan growled, but Asher laughed.

"I was merely complimenting your best attribute… Sir."

Milan grabbed Asher's chin and yanked him forward, then claimed his mouth in a rough kiss. "I'll allow it this time."

"Yes, Sir." Asher looked a little dazed, and no wonder after that kiss. Josiah was hard just from watching.

"Let's get you looking irresistible," Denali said to Josiah, his tone light but his eyes serious as if they would be dressing him for battle rather than pleasure.

"Isn't that my default setting?" Josiah said, trying to buoy his spirits with humor.

They retreated to the guest room that would be Josiah's and sifted through the clothes he'd brought and Denali's extensive collection of revealing outfits. Josiah decided on a black harness that would cradle his chest and a pair of red leather hot pants he'd made himself. They clung to his skin, showing off his figure, and he always felt confident in them.

Standing before the mirror, Josiah took a deep breath, steadying his hands as he applied eyeliner with surgical precision. Each stroke was a mantra to boost his confidence. He would find someone tonight. A Dom would notice him and want him. He was a canvas of desire, a work of art that would draw gazes and stir whispers.

"Damn, you're so good at that," Denali said. "I can never get it as neat as you."

"Comes with being artistic. I've developed a steady hand."

Josiah turned in front of the mirror, the lights glinting off his hair styled to tousled perfection. He couldn't make himself prettier than this, so it would have to do.

"Ready to turn some heads?" Denali stepped beside him in an outfit that was just as daring, anticipation shimmering in his eyes.

The flutter in Josiah's chest reached a crescendo in his symphony of nerves and exhilaration. He straightened his shoulders. No more doubts now. He had to radiate confidence. "More than ready. I just hope there's someone who can handle all this." He gestured at himself from the meticulously applied eyeliner that made his eyes pop to the boots that added a few necessary inches to his stature.

Milan whistled between his teeth. "Trust me, you'll have them lining up for the chance. You two look edible."

"Lining up? I'm hoping for more of a stampede," Josiah quipped, the playful banter easing the tight coil of longing within him. "A sexy, dominant stampede."

"Is there any other kind?" Denali nudged Josiah with his elbow.

Josiah's laughter mingled with Denali's as they shared a moment of pure, unadulterated joy. It was the kind of easy humor that came from years of friendship, from knowing each other's darkest secrets and brightest hopes.

"Hey, don't do anything I wouldn't do," Denali said in a mock-serious tone.

"Considering what you get up to with Milan and Asher, that doesn't rule out much."

"Exactly. Let's go find you a Dom who appreciates your particular brand of high maintenance." Denali slung an arm around Josiah's shoulders as they walked out of the room.

"High maintenance?" Josiah feigned indignation, even as his stomach did a hopeful flip. "I prefer ‘highly desirable.'"

"Same thing."

As they descended the steps of the brownstone, Josiah's excitement peaked, every nerve ending alight with the thought of what—or who—awaited him. This was it: the beginning of something new, something thrilling. "Tonight's going to be epic," he murmured, more to himself than to Denali.

He didn't say much on the ride over, his nerves too frayed for conversation.

"Tonight could be the night, Jo." Denali slipped an arm around Josiah's waist. "You might just meet him—the one who'll see you, really see you."

Josiah leaned into the embrace, drawing strength from Denali's unwavering presence. "God, I hope so. I want someone who can handle my fire without getting burned, unravel me and stitch me back together."

"And you will." Milan turned around and gave him a knowing smile. "You're cute and sweet, and you have this whole wide-eyed innocence going on that is irresistible to Doms like me. Trust me, if I didn't have my Denali, I would've been first in line to corrupt you."

Asher nodded. "Same."

They weren't lying. Josiah knew that much, and their words gave him a much-needed confidence boost. "Thank you. If you weren't with my best friend, I would've happily taken you up on that offer."

Milan parked the car, and they approached the club's entrance, the door a portal to another world. "Good evening, sirs," the doorman said.

"Hey, Benji," Milan said. "We have a guest with us tonight. I'd like a single sub wristband for him."

"Absolutely, Sir."

Josiah held out his hand, and Benji slipped a neon-green wristband on. "That tells Doms you're an available sub," Asher said. "Available Doms will wear a blue wristband. No wristband means not approachable."

Easy enough to remember. Josiah took a deep breath as they descended into the heart of the club, the beat of the music echoing the beat of his heart—fast, fierce, and filled with yearning.