Chapter 14

Two days, one more to go and I didn"t want Trinity to leave. I"d fallen in love at first sight. Maybe I"d known it with the way I"d reacted to my babygirl the first night I"d seen her. We"d shared meals. Cuddled on the couch. Made love every opportunity we had. The more I"d had her, the obsession had grown to hear all her sounds. To smell the scent of her skin. To savor the taste of her on my tongue as I gave her head.

It wasn"t all about the sex either. I loved the simple things. Cooking meals together. Cuddling on the couch to watch a movie or show my babygirl chose. It was peeks into what we could have if she were there all the time. She was still coming to grips with being in a relationship with me. I repeatedly reminded myself I needed to be patient. Everything about her did it for me.

Luckily, my parents had allowed me time alone with my babygirl. Not that they hadn"t been tearing my phone up to bring my babygirl to dinner. I just told them I wasn"t ready. Just a little more time before we had to get back to work for both of us and her classes. I"d promised them that I"d bring her around for Sunday dinners and holidays, and hoped like hell I wasn"t getting ahead of myself.

"Daddy," Trinity called.

I turned around to find her watching me. "Yes, babygirl?"

"I called your name twice. Are you okay? Want some space?"

I shook my head and held out my hand silently telling her to come to me. When she was within grabbing range, I curled my hand around her side and tugged her to me.

"No, I don"t want space. My parents just texted again telling me to bring you over. I told them no, I only had one more day with you to myself. But I did promise them Sunday dinner."

"I"d love that. I had so much fun with them."

"I know."

"Did I thank you for introducing me to them?"

"No, but you don"t have to thank me. I knew you"d love to meet Mama. You had so many misconceptions about being you, I wanted you to meet a Trans woman who'd found her happy. Elder Queers are important, they shows the younger generations that they can make it."

That"s what worked for me. Meeting other Nonbinary and Gender Nonconforming people who allowed me to know I could find my way and what worked for me. I"d never felt completely comfortable in my skin.

"My mother who gave birth to me, she despised me. I was never feminine enough. Didn"t want to wear the dresses she wanted to force me into. There was that whole pageant phase. That was hell. She wanted a girl she could live through. Wanted me to accomplish everything she hadn"t been able to. I was tall and thin, pretty. There was no molding me into a miniature version of her."

"I can"t even imagine you any other way than like this." She draped her arms over my shoulders.

"It wasn"t easy. It got better after I lived with Mama full-time. Before that though, it was hell, I lived for court-ordered weekends with Mama. I had my own wardrobe. Do you think about telling your parents?" I asked, but didn"t expect an answer if she wasn"t ready.

She remained quiet for long minutes. "I think about it. I"m scared, though. It"s delusional really. It"s like if I don"t know I can be in the safe, little bubble."

"Not delusional. No one wants to lose a loving family. I"d hate that for you. Although, you have me and Freida, and for what it"s worth, my parents. They"re like the community parents. Dad has gone on more pick-up calls when parents reacted badly than I can count. Mama welcomes them in and makes them food, gets them settled in a guest room. It's just their normal."

"Did it hurt when your other mom… I don"t know how to ask."

"It"s good. We haven"t talked since my mid-teens. There"s no mother-child bond to try to fix." I laced my fingers at the small of her back and accepted her soft kiss offered in comfort. "Yeah, at first, it hurt. I won"t deny that. No child wants a parent to disown them. She was never a mom. She played the part well when I did something that made her proud or look good."

Which wasn"t often. I started binding and finding my personal style in my early teens. My once-long hair got chopped off. I stopped shaving. I was no longer the daughter she wanted. I was the thing she hated. Maybe I should"ve felt more betrayed by that, but it just was. Mama got me into therapy to make sure I dealt with it in a healthy manner.

"Have you seen someone professionally to discuss your feelings about your parents?"

She smiled at me. "Yeah, nothing regular. My insurance isn"t the greatest. I"ve gone to a few groups at community centers."

"I just want you to be mentally healthy and happy. That"s the only reason I asked. You should go to the center and talk to Mama. She helps with transitioning and resources. Or just talk to her. She"s a great listener. Although, I talked to Dad more."

"Why does he call you Hank?" she asked with a wide grin.

I groaned. "I always hated Henrietta. It"s a horrible name." I tapped her backside when she giggled at my expense. "Dad started calling me Hank on my he/him days, and it kinda stuck."

"Where did Rogue come from then?"

"Oh, that"s a story. Back in the day, when I was figuring out who I was. I rebelled a bit. Dad called it my ‘going rogue' days. I showed my entire ass for several years. Some days I was he/him, some they/them, rarely she/her, even though I use those now sometimes. But I did a lot of partying, disappearing for days. I gave Mama several gray hairs. Dad tracked me down on one of my rogue days. It"s a bit of a reminder about that talk. It kinda stuck like Hank did."

"What did people call you at work if you didn"t go by your birth name?"

"Barrister. Mx. Barrister if it needed to be formal. Some work friends called me Rogue at work. Rogue just became natural; it was the name I chose. Just like I changed my name to Barrister when I turned eighteen. Dad cried his ass off."

Trinity"s smile softened. "Strangely, I can see that. It"s always the big, scary ones that are softies."

"True. You want to venture out tonight to do something?" I asked. I knew I said I wanted her to myself for three days, but that didn"t mean we couldn"t go to a couple thing like dinner or a movie.

"No, I"m good. I like this. It"s always school or work, the apartment is usually just for doing my homework and sleeping. Those four walls close in pretty easily." She hugged me tight and the feel of her, like always, was amazing. "We can do an outside date or whatever later. To be honest, a staycation with a lot of snuggling and sex was just what I needed."

"So glad you"re enjoying yourself. I didn"t want to share anyway. That"s why I keep putting the parents off. I really do want this to work, babygirl. There was something about you the minute I saw you that said you needed to be mine. We can go as fast or slow as you need, but understand this: I"m all in."

"I"m okay with that."

I playfully growled at her. "I don"t think I asked."

I tightened my arms around her and lifted her off her feet to carry her toward the living room. Groceries were low, we"d probably have to do an order or just get dinner delivered for that night. I stopped in front of the couch and fell backward. She squealed as she landed on top of me. Her legs naturally straddled my hips. She hugged my neck, and I just held her. Memorized her scent. The weight of her. The soft brush of her hair against my cheek and neck.

This was exactly what I"d already pictured when I found my person. The woman who I could love and be affectionate with. Someone to laugh with and love on. Someone to be my partner, maybe my wife, and my babygirl. The perfect person for Rogue and Daddy. Trinity was the perfect package for me. We laid there on the couch just taking each other in with no rush to do anything except be together. One day, I"d ask the serious questions, but for the time-being, we"d discussed our expectations.

We"d been honest with each other. Trust and love were hopefully just a matter of time.

Patience, Rogue. I was getting really fucking tired of that voice because it was making too much fucking sense.