Chapter 6

Chapter Six

Stirling

Hmm.

I wasn’t sure if I was as good at being subtle as I’d pictured.

“I like coloring and I want a big truck that has lights. My friend has one and that’s what I want. It has lights that work and it has a remote that makes it go and it has a horn too.” Conner made sure the Littles at the club had the best toys to play with.

Rhett’s eyes flashed wide for a second when he realized what I was talking about.

Ugh.

He had questions.

I knew it was too much to hope that he’d just go with the flow… Rhett didn’t have any flow.

He worried.

He planned.

He made lists.

He was even very good at taking care of me without making it feel like he was caretaking me.

Hmm.

What would the Littles do?

If I was going to try being one, then I needed to learn to think like one. Cheek kisses were important, so I gave Rhett one of those. Being cute or a brat was very important. I liked being cute better, so I made my eyes wider and smiled bigger.

Oh, and I didn’t have to sound like a grownup since I wasn’t going to be one.

“Can I have a truck, Santa?” That was easier to say than Daddy. I’d practiced but it always gave me a tummy ache. “I like sitting on your lap, Santa.”

Yes. That was a very nice word.

Santas were happy and smiley and safe.

“I like cuddling you.” Santa brought his hand up and stroked my head with his fuzzy glove. “And yes. You’ve been a very good boy, so a truck with lights and a trampoline would be wonderful presents.”

Yay.

“Bouncing is fun.” It made everyone laugh and smile, and when they fell, they laughed more. “I didn’t get hurt bouncing.”

Well, my feelings had gotten hurt but I’d talked to Dr. Miles about that.

He said feelings got hurt and that was okay, and we’d talked a lot about why it’d made me so upset. He was a helpful talker and hadn’t even gotten frustrated when it’d taken me a long, long time to be able to talk about the Littles.

Dr. Miles was a Little with a Daddy, but he knew that some stuff was hard.

I was ready to talk about being Little, though.

Well, mostly talk about it.

I was going to be very good at talking around it.

“I’m glad you were safe bouncing. I wouldn’t want to bring you a present that made you get hurt.” Santa frowned. “I’d feel sad, so you’re going to bounce safely, right? And only when you have a nice grown-up person around?”

Oh.

He knew I wasn’t supposed to be the grownup.

“Yes. I have a special grownup that takes good care of me and he’ll watch me. He’s so nice like you that I’m going to call him Santa too.” Yes. That was a much nicer word. “Because grown-up take-carer people bring presents and surprises like you do.”

The Littles said so… so it had to be true.

I’d just gotten a defective caretaker person the first time I’d tried.

But lemons happened… Dr. Miles said so and my Santa-man had said so too but he’d used lots of big, naughty words.

“He sounds like a wonderful person.” Santa smiled as he ran his hand over my head again. “I think Santa is a good word for a special caretaker. And looking at my nice and naughty list, I’m sure he’s on the nice list and will take good care of you.”

“He is.” He was big nice and always took good care of me. “Even when he forgets his patience it’s because he wants to take good care of me faster.”

Santa tried not to laugh. “I can see how that would be hard, but you sound like a very good helper to your Santa.”

“I’m the best helper.” I’d even been a good helper elf. “He loves me a lot.”

Giving Santa a big hug, I snuggled into him, ready for him to be my Santa and not the mall Santa. “I’m being brave again, so you have to reward me later, Santa.”

When he snickered, he was my Santa and I got a big hug, not a careful one. “Yes, a big reward when we go to bed later.”

He was so smart… he knew he was my Santa and not the pretend one.

“I really want a trampoline, Santa.” Whispering softly, I kissed his cheek before I went back to snuggling. “I’ll be safe and it’ll make me happy and you’ll smile.”

’Cause he’d wanted to buy me toys for a long time.

“I even practiced walking down the toy aisle with Dr. Miles, Santa.” Oh, that’d been big hard but we did it.

“Last month. I know when you did that, cutie.” Kissing my head, Santa let out a big, deep breath. “You were so brave. I’m proud of you.”

But he was a jealous Santa too.

“I had to do it secret to make sure I wouldn’t make you upset.” He’d gotten upset the first time I’d tried. My Santa didn’t like it when I got upset. Small ones or big ones, they all gave him a tummy ache. “So I practiced but now I can show you. Dr. Miles said we’re ready to pick out toys together. In public, Santa. But you’ve got to hold my hand.”

Dr. Miles said that was just fine.

He’d even said to go to his Walmart because everyone in his town was so interesting we’d look boring no matter how upset I got.

“I will be glad to hold your hand, but you know that you don’t have to buy toys or be… or be Santa’s helper to make me happy, right?” Oh, Santa was getting worried. He was even giving me his sad frown. “I love you very much and I’m very happy in our relationship.”

“Me too.” The situation definitely called for more cheek kisses or he’d make me talk. “There are just lots of ways to be happy and I’m ready to try this one.”

I hoped I was.

Santa looked skeptical. “You’re right. There are all kinds of ways to have happy relationships, but we’re not going to rush into anything.”

Ugh.

“But if we rush, then I can’t think.” It was a very good plan. “It’s like pulling the bandage off, Santa.”

He rolled his eyes.

That wasn’t a good look on Santa.

“You’re supposed to be smiling and jolly, Santa.” That was part of the scene.

One eyebrow went up.

“With good boys, Santas are always happy and just talk about nice things like presents, right?” When I nodded, he huffed but it wasn’t his mad sound, so I knew I’d won. “You are cute and sneaky.”

Yes.

“But I’m not a brat because that’s exhausting.” We’d both agreed on that. I needed to work up to bratting that much. “And I like cuddling with you and telling you how wonderful you are.”

But I’d been funny as a brat.

Conner had even texted me and told me that I’d done a good job.

“I like cuddling with you too.” He wasn’t smiling as he admitted that, though. I had a Santa that didn’t like losing. “Santas probably don’t ask a lot of questions either.”

Santas were amazing that way.

But I shrugged and managed not to giggle because I’d found the best loophole. “They ask about presents and ask for happy stories and they probably play games. Some of the Littles even have Santa people who give them tickles.”

Naughty tickles.

I couldn’t hold back my giggles that time and it made my Santa laugh. “Oh, I have a naughty helper.”

Maybe.

“I don’t know if I’m naughty or not, but Dr. Miles said it was okay not to know. He said you’d help me figure that out.” He’d said I should talk to my Santa too, but I didn’t want to do that.

Talking was hard.

“I would be glad to help you and we’ll figure out what other kinds of things you like too.” Shifting lower in the big chair, Santa snuggled me closer and wrapped his arms around me like I was a baby. “Fun food things or more toys. We’ll find books you like and maybe some bathtub toys. You like the tub.”

Whispering again, I scrunched my eyes closed. “I want bubbles, Santa.”

“Then we’ll have a bubble bath. Do you want to do that tonight? We can use shampoo or bodywash to make bubbles until we get the good kind that smells nice.” He made that sound fun. “We’ll have to figure out if you want the bubble-gum scent or maybe watermelon. Hmm. Why do the fun bubbles always smell like food?”

“Because they give grownups the flower bubbles?” I didn’t want to be stinky. “I don’t want to be a flower, Santa.”

“Then food it is.” His voice had a big smile in it. “I’d rather you smell like watermelon if I’m going to give you kisses after your bath.”

Naughty kisses?

Hmm.

“Cheek kisses or naughty kisses?” I liked kisses. Grown-up me liked both kinds, so helper me probably liked both too.

Santa snickered. “You’ve got two kinds of cheeks, silly goose.”

Happy Santas were cheeky.

Ha.

I was so funny.

“You’re the silly one.” I hadn’t been thinking about my other cheeks, so I sighed and pretended that he was a handful. “Definitely naughty kisses.”

My sigh made him laugh. “You know your Santa very well.”

I did.

And that meant I knew I had a good Santa.

“But we’ll just figure that out and see what Santa’s helper likes best.” Santa shrugged. “It might be one. It might be the other. It might be both. It might be neither.”

“No. Not neither.” That was so silly. “I like kisses.”

“See? You already know something important. You know a few important things. You know you like kisses. You know you don’t want to smell like flowers. You know the toys you want for Christmas.”

“You can surprise me with them before Christmas if you want.” I wouldn’t stop him if he got excited and they came early.

Santa laughed. “Oh, you’re going to tempt me. I like buying you presents.”

He did.

I had a closet full of silly clothes and sexy clothes and work clothes to prove it.

“You’re very good at buying presents.” So it was only fair that I gave him a new way to buy me more. Dr. Miles said he thought that was very good logic. “And it makes you happy, so I’m not going to stop you.”

I liked making him happy whether he was my Rhett, my Sir, or my Santa.