Chapter 5

Chapter Five

Connor

Connor drove to his Sabre Security brother Reid’s house with Tchaikovsky’s The Nutcracker playing softly. He took a lot of ribbing from his brothers over his love of classical music, but it centered him. Lately, with Winnie’s sister, Bliss, back in town, he listened to a lot more than usual.

Rolling his neck in a futile attempt at relieving his tension, he tried to think through what he would say to her if she was at Reid’s house when he got there for the Sabre Security meeting. What would that look like? Would she be happy to see him?

Seemed unlikely.

She hadn’t made any attempt to get in touch with him in the two months she’d been back. She had to know he’d been keeping tabs on her for the past eleven months as best he could. Then again, he had no way of knowing if her manipulative dick of a father had told her. Either way, he wanted to be prepared in case she was visiting with Winnie.

Being prepared was important. It was the only way to keep himself under control. He’d blown that to hell and back the last time they’d been together. He still couldn’t believe how he’d taken her virginity after knowing her for only a few hours. Something about her got to him.

Not that he hadn’t studied her since she first showed up in Darling. He gathered every piece of information he could get his hands on about Belissa Jayne Carpenter. Starting with the fact that her father hadn’t given her his last name because, in the Society, only male children were considered worthy of their father’s name. Bliss had kept her mother’s name the same as Winnie had.

His cellphone rang and the tone let him know it was Reid before he even looked at his screen. Everyone had their own ringtone so he knew who he was dealing with before the conversation started. No surprises. That was his goal in life.

“I know I’m running late. I’m seven minutes out.”

“I hate it when you do that shit,” Reid growled through the phone. “Just say hello like the rest of us. And hurry up, we’ve got shit to cover and Hutch is antsy to leave. Something about getting to Georgia before she joins some women’s roller derby team she had on her bucket list.”

Connor shook his head. Hutch needed to keep his Little girl on a tighter leash. That was the only way he was ever going to keep her from pulling all the shenanigans she seemed to live for. They seemed to both get something out of it but hell if Connor knew what. Her unpredictability would drive him insane. He loved Georgia to death, as long as he didn’t have to keep up with her. Truth was, he felt that way about most of his brothers’ Little girls. That and more than a small amount of envy.

No one could deny they all walked around smiling a lot more than they used to. He was ready to have someone to smile about. He’d thought he’d be smiling about Bliss, but then she arrived back in Darling two months ago, pregnant and with twin girls. She’d given birth to Nori a month later making the number increase to three.

Three. Babies.

She’d said something about loving kids after they’d made love that night in Vegas. He’d been so dog-tired he could barely stay awake. He’d passed out while she was talking. He felt like a dick the next morning. He’d planned on talking to her about it more on the drive back to Darling, but she’d pulled a Houdini act on him.

Yeah, they’d be having words about that when he saw her again. He’d almost had a heart attack when he’d gotten back from grabbing some boxes of cereal and milk from the hotel office only to find the room empty. His grip tightened on the steering wheel at the memory. If he’d been able to get his hands on her then, she’d have had a hard time sitting comfortably on the long drive home to Darling. He still had no idea how she’d managed to lose him so fast, and on foot.

Reid wasn’t done. “This might be a lot to ask but I need you to keep an eye out for Bliss on your way. She was supposed to be here almost an hour ago to pick up Nori and the twins, but she hasn’t made it. We’ve tried to call, but her phone goes straight to voicemail. Winnie’s worried.”

Connor’s heart rate kicked up a notch. Winnie wasn’t the only one worried. Reid’s voice was tight. What was Bliss thinking? She should know better than to turn her phone off. After everything Bliss had gone through the past year, of course Winnie would be worried. Bliss could be impulsive, but he’d never considered her thoughtless.

“I’m sure she’s fine.” Probably. But with the Society and now the Lawless Warriors MC added in, he couldn’t be sure. “I’ll keep an eye out. Did you call Ivy?”

“Of course I called Ivy. Do you think I wouldn’t call her boss? The daycare line goes to voicemail and if she has a personal number, it’s unlisted. I’ve got Sawyer working on it. She probably had to stop for some diapers or shit but keep an eye out just in case.”

“You got it.” Connor disconnected, scanning the area for her car. Nothing.

Bliss was fine. She had to be. He wasn’t ready to explore why her safety and wellbeing was so important to him. It just was. It always had been. Something about her had called to him from the first time he’d seen her wandering the streets of Darling in one of those ridiculous robes the Society made their disciples wear.

She’d been handing out tracts, smiling at people, and being way too friendly. Did she have no idea how gorgeous she was? One dude walking past her stared at her so long he ran into a streetlight. What an idiot. She didn’t seem to notice the effect she had on people.

If she’d been his, he’d have been standing at her side to let people know she was taken. And when he got her home, he’d have had her bent over the back of the sofa to spank her ass for being so damn beautiful before fucking her senseless for the same reason.

She was still beautiful. She hadn’t seen him since she’d been back, but he’d seen her. She hadn’t changed at all. With a baby in her belly, she’d glowed. She still got to him, same as always, but now she had her girls to take care of.

He rolled his neck and scanned the countryside again.

His first thought after seeing Bliss’s newborn was to question if the child was his. No one else knew that because no one else knew how he lost control and royally fucked up by making love to his client. Logically he shouldn’t wish that baby was his, but he did. He longed to have children, to plant all the babies in Bliss’s belly she wanted. But he knew what having a shit father could do to a child, and since that was all he’d ever had, he wasn’t about to repeat the mistake and ruin an innocent child’s life.

That was why control was everything. He might he struggling to control his emotions when it came to Bliss, but he could damn sure control his actions. He turned the classical music up. Merry damn Christmas.

Bliss

Bliss sat in the middle of the road staring at her shredded tire and tried not to lose every stinking ounce of her holiday spirit. She’d always heard bad things came in threes. Somehow her luck had missed the memo. Glancing at the phone in her hand, she resisted the urge to throw it as far as she could. She would have, too, if it wasn’t her one remaining source of sanity.

Then Mary Poppins whispered in her right ear. Just wait for your spoon full of sugar to help this medicine go down .

Bliss straightened her back. Mary was right. Mary was always right. That’s why she sat on Bliss’s right shoulder. Not big Mary Poppins, of course. But a tiny Mary Poppins sat on her shoulder encouraging her to make wise choices.

Miranda Lambert chirped in Bliss’s left ear. Well, you know what I say, soak that tire in kerosene, light it up, and watch it burn.

Most people had good angels and bad angels sitting on their shoulders. Bliss was no different, it was just that her angels were Mary Poppins and Miranda Lambert. They gave her advice all the time, mostly in song lyrics. This time, she’d better go with Mary’s advice.

She glanced down at Tipper, Tipsy for short, her lynx stuffie. Winnie had given Tipsy to her before she escaped from the Society when Bliss was fifteen. It had been Bliss’s only connection to her sister, and she’d kept her all this time. Now Tipsy entertained Sadie and Sophie while she took care of her Nori.

Her girls filled her life with love, joy, and responsibility. And fear. Lots of fear. Fear that she hadn’t done the right thing not telling Connor about his daughter. Fear that she wouldn’t be able to do this on her own.

Tipsy’s bright golden eyes reminded her of Connor. How could she miss him so much when she’d only been with him a day and a half? She only allowed herself to use Connor’s name once a day, and today she’d already used it twice.

With a sigh, she focused on the problem at hand. It couldn’t be that hard, right? She should just pull everything out of the trunk and get the tire changed. Or she could stand by the road with her thumb out, hoping someone would have pity on her and take her to Winnie’s house.

Pish-posh. Mary Poppins tapped her buttoned shoe on Bliss’s shoulder. Once begun is half done.

Sometimes, Mary Poppins got on Bliss’s very last nerve.

Hugging Tipsy closer to her chest, she stared at the flat. The rim being almost on the ground didn’t strike her as being a good thing. “I’ve never actually changed a tire before, Tipsy. Have you?”

Tipsy hadn’t ever changed a tire, either. They’d have to figure it out together. In a few minutes. Right now, she was going to sit here and imagine following Miranda’s advice and dousing her avocado-green rust-bucket of a car in kerosene and setting it aflame. At least she’d be warm then.

She’d left the house this morning without her coat. Again. The pretty teal sweater with the giant appliqued moose she’d worn to work didn’t deserve to be covered up. It should have been fine since her job was inside. She just had to walk into Bundles of Joy where she worked and then back to her car at five.

Bad things were supposed to come in threes. This day had given her way more than three bad things. First, Ivy had kept her after work to talk to her in private. Bliss had felt just like she did when she used to get called into Father Cassian’s office at the compound.

“We don’t like being nervous, do we? No.” That was the nice thing about asking Tipsy a question. She always had the right answer. Not with actual words, of course. She’d communicate with those golden eyes, like Connor had.

Thankfully, Winnie had been able to come get the girls. It was hard to focus on what people were saying when the babies were around. She didn’t mind since it was hard for the other people to focus, too. Everyone loved the girls. Sadie and Sophie were dimpled bundles of babbling, trying-to-walk joy. And Nori was taking in everything around her in that quiet, thoughtful way she had. Like her father.

It turned out Ivy wanted to know about how things were going at home. It was sweet, although it wasn’t anything they couldn’t have talked about over lunch. She’d asked about how Bliss was coping with raising three babies alone, and if they were getting enough to eat. She’d even asked how often Bliss changed their diapers. When Bliss had asked why she wanted to know, Ivy had gotten a funny look and said she wanted to make sure Bliss and the girls were doing okay.

See, sweet. But it put her trying to get out of town at the busiest part of the day. Running over the million and one happy tourists clogging up the streets with their happy vacationing wouldn’t help. Seeing all the Littles and their Daddies playing in the snow forts and having snowball fights in the town square just made her stroll down What Could Have Been Lane. Connor probably built great snow forts.

Darn it! That was two nickels. She was running out of nickels to put in the swear jar. Not that his name was a swear word exactly. But it made her heart hurt. She gave herself a consequence every time she went over the limit of saying Connor’s name.

Argh! Three nickels.

A glance at her watch had her groaning. It might not have been those happy tourists’ fault she was already twenty minutes late to pick up her kids from Winnie’s house, but they hadn’t helped. Winnie had said be there by 5:30, and it was almost that now. If changing the tire didn’t take too long—and why should it—she could still make it to Arcadian Hills before six.

Mary and Miranda both agreed.

It wasn’t as if he hadn’t tried to hurry earlier. Adjusting her speed to slightly above the speed limit, she’d cranked up her AM radio and belted out Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree . Not that she had a Christmas tree. But she would soon, a fresh one that made the whole house smell like Christmas.

When the song had shifted to Run, Run, Rudolph , she’d danced as she drove. The tiny jingle bells attached to the moose antlers on her sweater had jingled away, lifting her spirits as she sang. No one could’ve blamed her if the accelerator got pushed a bit too hard.

The sky had been all purples and deep pinks in the setting sunlight, and fresh snow blanketed the ground and branches, like a Christmas postcard. It had been way too gorgeous to stay cranky. So, she’d cranked the music up some more and pressed the pedal down. She would have been to Winnie’s in plenty of time.

But halfway to Winnie’s house, something under her car exploded. The steering wheel had jerked to the right so hard she’d veered into the oncoming lane. She’d seen the grim reaper holding out his hand to her.

Screaming, she’d gripped the wheel as hard as she could and slammed on the brakes. Her tires had locked, and she’d skidded and swerved all over the road. Leaning forward, she’d used every ounce of strength she had to get her car under control, steering her rattling and shaking car back into her lane.

By the time she’d gotten most of her car to the side of the road, her arms had been quivering like fresh-set Jello. She’d rested her forehead on the steering wheel and chanted big girls don’t cry along with Mary and Miranda.

She’d reached for her phone, but remembered her battery was dead. She’d had no way to call Winnie to let her know she was running late. When she’d calmed down enough to think, she’d opened the door and stepped out of the car on shaking legs to assess the damage.

Why did this have to happen now?

Mary had the answer. That’s what happens when you drive around on bad tires. Sometimes Mary could be snide like that.

Guilt overwhelmed her. Sure, she needed new tires, but tires were freakin expensive. She’d been saving up for them, but she’d only been back in Darling a couple of months.

It was the realization that the girls could have been in the car when the tire blew out that had dropped her to her butt in the middle of the road. She could have killed her babies! She was the worst mother in the world. In the entire history of motherhood. Mary Poppins tsked in Bliss’s ear.

It was all she could do not to curl up in a fetal position right there on the highway. Covering her face, she rocked back and forth. She’d give her legs thirty seconds to stop trembling. That’s all the time she had and then she’d stand up and tackle the car. Besides, the scent of burning rubber was hard to take.

After her allotted pit-party time ended, she glared at her tire. “I don’t suppose you’ll change yourself, will you? It’s the least you can do. No? Well, fine.” With nothing else for it, she pushed to her feet, whispering an apology to Mary for being ungrateful. Miranda understood.

“What the hell are you doing sitting in the middle of the road during the busiest time of the day?”

Bliss shrieked and searched the ground around her for something to defend herself. Where was Excalibur when you needed it? A sword right now would be helpful.

Wait. She knew that voice.

She must be on the universe’s cosmic naughty list. It was the only explanation. Of all the people who could have stopped to help, why did it have to be Connor? It wasn’t like she hadn’t known they’d run into each other. Darling was a small town. But she wasn’t ready. Not yet.

Had someone forgotten to tell her it was National Pick on Bliss Day? She’d have appreciated a memo. Struggling to her feet, she readied herself to face the latest crap storm in her life.

Connor looked ready to spit fire. At her. “Oh, you haven’t seen a crap storm yet, babygirl. But you’re about to.”

Dang it! She thought she’d gotten better at keeping her private thoughts to herself. With nothing else to do, she pasted on a bright smile. “Hi, Connor. It’s been a while.”