Chapter Seventeen

Ronin had to keep his arms crossed because he couldn’t stop the way his hands shook. He knew some of it was adrenaline, but most of it was anger and fear. Why the hell did his little onethink it was a good idea to push the man? She didn’t know if he had a gun or knife, and there was a chance, a small chance, he’d be able to get to her before he could stop it.

He led the last cop out, and then they were finally alone.

“Are you hungry?” he asked.

She shook her head. “No.”

He knew he wouldn’t be able to get a bite down without choking, so he made his way over to the sofa table and sat, facing her. He rested his elbows on his knees and looked down at his hands for a moment.

“Are you mad at me?” she asked.

“Mad is one way to say it.”

“Why?”

His head flew up so he could see her expression. “Are you kidding?”

She shook her head. “No. I don’t think I did anything wrong. I knew you were here, so I wasn’t afraid.”

“He could have still hurt you before I could have gotten to him,” Ronin said. He watched as her expression felt like she’d shut a door between them. It was blank, and her eyes were dull as she looked at her hands. That made him madder, and his first thought was he wanted to spank her until she couldn’t sit down, but this was the first night they were together, and he didn’t want it to end with her in discomfort.

He wiped a hand down his face. “Go brush your teeth and get into bed.”

“Where will you be?” she asked.

“I’ll be in later.”

She nodded, stood, and without another word, walked into the bedroom and shut the door.

He could kick himself because of the flash of pain he caught before she turned away from him, but he knew he needed to calm down before he felt steady enough to deal with her.

Ronin sat on the sofa and stared out the window at the night sky. The stars looked brighter because he’d kept the lights off. His mind kept going over what had happened earlier in the night, and he couldn’t seem to get the scenarios of her being hurt out of it.

He wiped a hand down his face in frustration. He knew he’d never give her up, but he didn’t know how to deal with this strong emotion inside of him. He wanted to call Darian or one of the other men who had littles of their own, but it was too late, and he knew he could wait until morning.

He slid sidewise, stuffed one of the pillows under his head, and closed his eyes. He’d deal with everything later.

****

The sun shining in the window woke him the next morning. He sighed, rubbed the sleep from his eyes, and sat up. Fuck, he needed coffee, but most importantly, he needed to be wrapped around his woman. He had meant to go back into the bedroom after he settled a bit, but he’d slept hard through the night.

Ronin finally stood and stretched his arms over his head, hearing several vertebrae pop in his back. He made his way into the bedroom to find the bed empty and made. It took him a second to realize Courtney was not where she was supposed to be.

He walked through the rest of the suite and started to panic when he didn’t find her. Where the hell did she go?

Ronin went back into the bathroom they’d been using to find her things gone, too, but he also caught sight of the note leaning against the mirror.

Ronin,

I am so sorry. I didn’t want to make you angry or disappoint you. I never wanted to see you sad or mad.

I think this isn’t going to work out with us. I know I won’t be able to be what you want, and I don’t want you to regret this time together. When you didn’t come to bed last night, I knew I’d made a big mistake. Again, I have to say I’m sorry.

I wish you the very best, and I pray you find the littlethat suits you.

Courtney

Ronin wanted to put a fist through the wall. He wasn’t mad at what happened before. He was angry at himself for hurting her. He would never intentionally harm her, and that’s why he’d sent her to bed. He knew as angry as he had been, he would have said something that would wound her tender feelings.

Instead, he pushed her away and made her think she wasn’t good for him. Fuck. He had a lot to learn about these women, but he was thankful he had a huge support system to help him through the rough spots.

He pulled out his phone and called Darian.

“Hello, this is the Marsh Residence. How may I help you?”

“Hello, Elder. Does Darian have a moment to talk?”

“I will ask, Mr. Ronin.”

“Thank you.”

He didn’t have long to wait when Darian answered his call. “Hey, what’s up?”

Ronin went over everything that happened the night before. “I woke up, and she was gone. She wrote me a letter saying she was sorry and that we weren’t right for each other. How the hell did I fuck up so badly?”

Darian sighed. “One thing I’ve found all littles seem to have is a heart of gold, and they are more sensitive than any other woman. Courtney probably thought you didn’t want her because you didn’t go to bed. In her mind, you were telling her without words that you didn’t want her anymore.”

“But I was still there in the suite,” Ronin said.

“It doesn’t take much to hurt their feelings. But I have learned over the years with Larkin that I can adapt to her sensitivity because I wouldn’t change a hair on her head.”

“I don’t want to change Courtney either. She’s perfect for me in every way. I can’t lose her,” Ronin said.

“You haven’t lost her. You’ve just misplaced her for a moment.”

Ronin was shocked when a chuckle burst from him. Hell, he needed that. Darian had a way about him that instantly calmed most daddies.

“Come to the house later. Larkin went to a friend’s house for a few hours. I’m guessing she will have talked to your little before then,” Darian said.

“I’ll do that. It will give me time to run home, shower and change, and call into the office.”

“I’ll be here, so I’ll see you later.”

“Thanks again,” Ronin said and hung up. Why did he feel like his whole life was on the line? What would he do if she rejected him? Fuck. It won’t happen. He wouldn’t let it.

He strode out of the suite and out of the hotel. On his way home, he went over any scenario that could happen, and only one outcome was what he’d settle for. Nothing less would do.