Chapter Twelve

Amadeo

We're in a boardroom since my office still shows signs I slept there. I'd taken my clothes and toiletries to Zoe's, but my other personal belongings are still there. Enough of my personal belongings to make Gwen question my fake girlfriend.

Fake girlfriend. Zoe doesn't feel like a fake girlfriend though.

I don't know if she ever did. We've had a connection from the start. And as much as I tell myself I don't do relationships and attachments, Zoe's been different.

Making her happy, helping her grow to be the little adventure junkie she strives to be, is a fucking joy.

I both love and admire the way fear flickers in her eyes just as she's about to do something scary, and then fuck, just when I think she'll back out—and I'm here to support that too—she takes the leap.

And all the shit I do, the planning, the surprises, introducing her to new exciting places and restaurants, it's not out of obligation like I'd expected dating to be. I want to do it. I want to make this woman happy, see her face light up, and watch her experience things.

I didn't date Gwen, at least not typical dating. And I scoffed at any of my friends that did that shit, thinking it was an awful lot of effort for sex. But it's effortless when you want to do it.

Garret, my lawyer, clears his throat and I look up. "Huh?"

"Maybe you don't want this resort back?" Gwen says, staring at me, her eyes deep-freeze chilly.

"Mrs. Frontenac, this is an unusual request."

"I don't give a shit. Leave. I want a minute alone with Amadeo."

I nod to Garret and there's a shuffle before both lawyers leave.

Gwen's eyes land on her husband, émile. "You too."

Frowning, émile looks at me. Irritation flashing in his eyes, he rises. I don't ease my ex-best friend's anxiety though. But it hits me how much he cares for Gwen and worries about the two of us alone.

How had I never noticed how much he loves her? I suddenly feel like the shit who cheated with his girl. He wanted her all along, and for real. I just went along for the ride. It must have killed him to see me so indifferent about the love of his life.

That's how I feel about Mark dismissing Zoe so easily.

There's that truck again, slamming into my chest, the realization hitting as hard as the grill from a Freightliner Cascadia 125.

I'm in love. I fucking love Zoe Wayz. Shoving a hand through my hair, I swallow hard.

Impossible. No fucking way. I was with Gwen for years and never loved her. There's no way I can fall in love with someone after a few months of emails and phone calls and two weeks together. That shit doesn't happen. This isn't some fucking fairytale. This is real life.

"Who is this chick, Deo? I want to know." Gwen's voice forces me out of my panic. My gaze darts to hers.

"Chick?"

"Stop fucking with me or I'm not signing these papers and your fucking precious resort will be half mine for the rest of our lives."

"Zoe?"

"Yes, her. Who is she, for real? I know she's not your girlfriend. Neither of you can lie for shit. But I also see the way you look at her."

"And how the hell do I look at her, Gwen?"

"Like she's your fucking world, Deo."

I swallow hard. Fuck. It's as if she's slapped me. She sees that in me?

"But you're incapable of love, right? Admit. It. Or I walk out now."

My mind is whirling, my heart squeezing impossibly hard in my chest. I can't love Zoe, except, goddammit, I do. And if I admit it, Gwen won't give me back my resort.

I suddenly feel like Zoe standing on that playground structure as a kid, just needing that few seconds to make the leap but everyone is jeering at her.

Fuck.

My mind flies back in time, to my mother and father, standing in the foyer, my mother's bags packed, tears streaming down her face, me clutched in her arms.

"All I ever wanted from you was loyalty. And you couldn't even give me that."

She cheated on him and when he caught her, he sent her away, using every resource he had to keep her from ever seeing me again so she couldn't betray me too. And then Gwen did the same thing. I married her and she fucking cheated, too.

Women didn't love you, they used you and then left when they were done with you.

"It was fake from the start. Zoe pretended to be my girlfriend to get you off my back."

Gwen assesses me.

"That's too bad. It looked real to me."

Her words anger me. What the fuck is that supposed to mean? She said she knew Zoe wasn't my girlfriend.

"Yeah, well, Zoe's really fucking good at faking shit, and I guess I am too, because there was never anything real between us. Now sign the damn papers and go, I've got shit to do."

Gwen shakes her head, looking sad and then I hear the whimper behind her. Turning, I see Zoe standing there.

I rise, my heart pounding at the hurt on her face.

Shit.

Zoe takes three small steps back, turns and runs. And fuck, if she doesn't take my heart with her.

"I thought you'd changed, Deo. And I was really happy you had. I thought you finally figured out it was your dad that betrayed your mom. He was the one that never loved her and then he took away the one person who did to punish her." Gwen rises, holding her pregnant belly, and walks out.

I look down, barely seeing the signed papers on the table because she just blew my fucking mind.

Gwen's right. My dad didn't love my mother, he'd told me that a million times. And yet he expected her to stay and be loyal because he took responsibility when he knocked her up? Pfft. Like that was some hero move and not just the right thing to do. And when she strayed because she was starved for love and attention, he took everything from her, including me.

Picking up the papers, I toss them on the floor. I don't give a fuck about them anymore. The only thing I care about is finding Zoe and making sure she knows I love her.

But before I can run after her, émile blocks the doorway.

"What the fuck did you say to her?" He doesn't wait for an answer, just decks me.

I stumble back, my face on fire, and even though I'm spoiling to punch something, I can't hit back. Not only because I've deserved that punch for years, but because the pain is a welcome distraction from the gaping wound in my heart.

"émile, I'm sorry."

His fist is up, ready to hit my face again, but my words stop him.

"Not because I said something to upset her today, because I didn't. I'm sorry I fucked around with Gwen all those years ago when you were in love with her."

His arms drop to his sides, and he looks defeated.

"I don't blame you two for fucking around on me. Because she was never mine to begin with. She was always yours. I was too fucking self-absorbed to notice."

émile swallows, his fists loosening. I grab him, pull him into my chest and slap his back.

"I want to talk this out with you, fix our friendship and make it up to you, but the woman I love just took off and I have to find her and tell her before it's too late."

émile says nothing, just returns my back slap and steps out of my way.

I flash him an appreciative smile and take off at a run. But this time it's Gwen's lawyer that stops me.

"You need to sign the papers too." He looks at his Rolex. "I've got a flight out of here in an hour. And court tomorrow. I don't have time to wait. It's now or never."

"I guess it's never." I take off.

I can't find Zoe's anywhere. The last place I check is my villa, but when I knock, Aggie answers.

"Scram."

"Aggie, I need to see her."

"Over my dead body. Or yours."

I curse and consider using my phone to unlock the door, but admittedly I'm a little afraid of the matriarch of Zoe's family. I wouldn't put it past her to clobber me and bury the body without so much as batting an eye. And if I'm dead, Zoe will never know that I love her. So I just keep pounding.