Chapter 17

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

Iris

The dim lights of Desire House blur as my head pulsates with the same rhythm of my heartbeat.

My stomach churns, a relentless wave of nausea that's been plaguing me all day.

The music coming over the speakers feels like it's piercing through my skull, intensifying the throbbing in my head.

I lean against the bar, hoping the cool surface will offer some relief, but it doesn’t.

Rosa's voice cuts through the haze. "Iris?"

I turn to see her approaching, iPad in hand and concern etched on her face. "You okay, chica?"

I force a smile, straightening up despite the protest from my queasy stomach. "Yeah, I'm good. What's up?"

Rosa's eyes narrow, clearly not buying my act. "Destiny called out sick. We’ve got three bookings tonight that need to be sorted out now."

The news hits me like a sucker punch.

Three clients.

"Shit," I mutter, my hand instinctively moving to my stomach. "That's... that's great."

Rosa steps closer, her perfume–a mix of jasmine and vanilla–momentarily overpowering me. "Iris, seriously, are you feeling all right? You look pale."

I want to tell her the truth.

That I've been feeling like death warmed over since I woke up this morning.

That the thought of walking, let alone breathing too hard, makes me want to hurl.

But I can't.

This job is everything to me right now.

It’s the only constant thing I can count on in my life.

"I'm fine," I insist, plastering on my best 'I've got this' smile. "Just a little tired. Nothing a Red Bull can't fix."

Rosa's eyebrows furrow, her brown eyes searching my face.

I can see she doesn't believe me, but she doesn't push it.

That's what I love about Rosa–she knows when to back off.

"Okay, if you say so," she concedes. "The first booking is in an hour. Client requested a schoolgirl outfit."

I nod. "Got it. Thanks, Rosa. Let’s see if Candy can take him, and we can figure out two more girls to take the other two clients."

Rosa nods, already scrolling through the screen. “Jasmine doesn't have anything booked until midnight. She could probably make the last two bookings work."

Relief washes over me. "That would be perfect. Could you ask them for me?"

"Of course," Rosa says, but her eyes narrow as she looks at me more closely. "I can do that, but... are you really okay, Iris? And don't you lie to me, I can see something's wrong."

I open my mouth to protest, to tell her I'm fine, but the words die on my lips.

Rosa's always been able to see right through my bullshit.

It's one of the things I love about her, even if it's inconvenient right now.

"I..." I start, but I'm not sure how to finish.

I take a deep breath, wincing as another wave of nausea hits me. "You're right, Rosa. I'm not feeling well at all. I'm super queasy, and I think I might throw up."

Rosa's expression softens, concern etching her features. "Are you sick, honey? Maybe you caught that bug that's been going around."

I shake my head, immediately regretting the motion as it makes the room spin. "No, I never get sick. This is... different."

"Different how?" Rosa asks, her voice gentle but probing.

I lean against the wall, trying to steady myself. "I don't know. It just came out of nowhere. One minute I was fine, and the next..." I trail off, not wanting to admit how weak I feel.

Rosa steps closer, her hand warm on my shoulder. "Okay, that's it. We're going up to your office right now. You need to sit down before you fall down."

"But the house—" I start to protest.

"The house will be fine without you for one night," Rosa interrupts firmly. "Come on, I'll help you upstairs. Then I'll get you some water and crackers. That should help settle your stomach."

I want to argue, to insist that I'm fine and can handle things on my own.

But the truth is, the idea of sitting down in my quiet office sounds like heaven right now.

"All right," I concede, letting Rosa slip an arm around my waist for support. "Thanks, Rosa. I don't know what I'd do without you."

As we make our way toward the stairs, I can't help but think about how different this is from my usual confident strut through the house.

I wonder if any of the girls or clients notice, if they can see how vulnerable I feel right now.

It's a struggle to keep my face neutral, to not let my discomfort show.

"Hey," Rosa says softly as we start climbing. "It's okay to not be okay sometimes, you know? Even badass bosses like you need a break now and then."

I manage a weak smile. "I guess so. Just... don't tell anyone, okay? I've got a reputation to maintain."

Rosa laughs, the sound warm and comforting. "Your secret's safe with me, Iris. Now let's get you settled before you puke on these expensive shoes."

As soon as we reach my office, a violent wave of nausea crashes over me.

My stomach lurches, and I barely have time to think before I'm bolting for the private bathroom attached to my office.

"Shit," I mutter, fumbling with the doorknob.

I fling the door open and drop to my knees in front of the toilet, just managing to lift the lid before my body betrays me.

The contents of my stomach surge upward, and I retch painfully.

My throat burns as I heave, my body shaking with each spasm.

Tears spring to my eyes, partly from the physical strain and partly from sheer frustration.

This isn't me.

I don't get sick.

I'm Iris fucking Ashton, the girl who has been known to outdrink most of the bikers at Viper's club and still dance on the bar at 3 AM.

I hear Rosa's footsteps behind me, and then her cool hand is on my back, rubbing soothing circles.

With her other hand, she gathers my long black hair, holding it away from my face as I continue to vomit.

"It's okay, honey," she murmurs. "Just let it out."

I want to tell her that nothing about this is okay, but another wave of nausea hits, and all I can do is groan.

When the heaving finally subsides, I slump against the cool porcelain, utterly spent.

Rosa releases my hair and hands me a damp washcloth.

I wipe my mouth, feeling utterly disgusting and more than a little embarrassed.

"Here," Rosa says, offering me a small bottle of mouthwash. "This'll help."

I take it gratefully, swishing the minty liquid around my mouth before spitting it into the toilet.

The taste is a blessed relief after the acidity of vomit.

As I flush everything away, I can't help but wonder what the hell is wrong with me.

Food poisoning seems likely, but a nagging voice in the back of my mind whispers other possibilities.

I push those thoughts away, not ready to deal with them just yet.

"Thanks," I croak, looking up at Rosa.

Her face is etched with concern, and I feel a rush of affection for my friend. "Sorry you had to see that. Not exactly my finest moment."

Rosa shakes her head, helping me to my feet. "Don't apologize. That's what friends are for, right? Besides, I've seen worse at the club on a busy Saturday night."

I manage a weak laugh as we make our way back into my office. "Yeah, I guess puke duty is part of the job description around here."

As I settle onto the small couch in the corner, Rosa hands me a bottle of water. "Small sips," she advises. "We don't want a repeat performance."

I nod, taking a cautious drink.

The cool liquid soothes my raw throat, and I close my eyes for a moment, trying to center myself.

"You sure you're okay?" Rosa asks, perching on the edge of my desk. "I've never seen you like this before."

I open my eyes, meeting her worried gaze. "I'll be fine," I insist, more out of habit than conviction. "Probably just something I ate. You know me, I've got an iron stomach."

Rosa raises an eyebrow, clearly not buying it. "Uh-huh. And I'm the Queen of England."

I can't help but smile at her sass. It's one of the things I love about Rosa – she never lets me get away with my bullshit.

Rosa's expression turns serious as she leans forward, her voice dropping to a near whisper. "Iris, honey... do you think you're pregnant?"

The question hits me like a bucket of ice water, and I can't help but laugh, even though it makes my stomach churn.

"God, no," I manage to choke out between giggles. "I probably have food poisoning or something. It came up out of nowhere, and I did eat gas station sushi, so it's probably my payment for that."

Rosa's eyes widen. "Gas station sushi? Girl, are you trying to kill yourself?"

I shrug, still grinning despite the lingering nausea. "What can I say? I like to live dangerously."

"Clearly," Rosa says, shaking her head. "Well, at least we know what caused it. Though I gotta say, I'm a little relieved. The last thing we need around here is baby daddy drama."

I nod, grateful for the lightness in her tone.

The idea of being pregnant is so far from my reality that it's almost comical.

Still, I can't shake the unease that's settled in my gut–and not just from the questionable sushi.

Rosa's face crumples, and suddenly tears are streaming down her cheeks.

She covers her face with her hands, her shoulders shaking with silent sobs.

I'm on my feet in an instant, my own nausea forgotten as I wrap my arms around her.

"I fell for him, Iris," she chokes out between sobs. "I actually fell for that asshole. God, I'm so stupid."

I tighten my hold on her, rocking gently. "Hey, hey, don't say that," I murmur, my heart aching for her. "Love isn't stupid. It's the most beautiful thing."

The words leave my mouth before I can really think about them, and I'm struck by how much I mean it.

Despite everything—the complications, the heartache, the uncertainty—love is still beautiful.

I think of Viper, of the way my heart races when he's near, and I know it's true.

Rosa pulls back slightly, wiping at her eyes. "How can you say that? After everything with Lyon, and now this mess..."

I shake my head, reaching up to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. "Because it's true," I insist. "Yeah, it can hurt like hell. But the fact that we can feel that deeply for another person? That we can open ourselves up like that? It's fucking incredible."

I pause, thinking of my own tangled web of emotions. "And yeah, sometimes we fall for the wrong person. But that doesn't make the feeling itself wrong or stupid."

Rosa sniffles, looking at me with red-rimmed eyes. "When did you get so wise, huh?"

I laugh, the sound a bit watery. "Trust me, I'm still figuring it out as I go. But I do know this—you're amazing, Rosa. And Jaxon's an idiot for not seeing that."

She manages a weak smile, leaning her head on my shoulder. "Thanks, Iris. I don't know what I'd do without you."

I rest my cheek against her hair, my own eyes stinging with unshed tears. "That's what friends are for, right?"

As we sit there, holding each other, I can't help but think about Allegra and Viper.

About the choice I know I'll have to make soon.

But for now, I push those thoughts aside.

Right now, my friend needs me, and that's all that matters.

I sit with her in silence for a moment, both of us lost in our own thoughts.

I can't help but think about Viper and the position I've put Allegra in.

I never meant for things to get this complicated.

"Iris?" Rosa's voice brings me out of my reverie. "You okay?"

"Yeah," I say, forcing a smile. "Just... thinking about life, you know?"

Rosa snorts. "Well, don't do that too much, it'll give you wrinkles," she jokes, trying to lighten the mood.

I manage a genuine laugh at that, and I'm grateful for my best friend's ability to make me laugh even when I want to cry.

"So, any good gossip on the horizon? Anything juicy to distract me from my man troubles?" I ask, directing the conversation away from Jaxon and Allegra.

Rosa smirks, her eyes twinkling mischievously. "Well, I did hear that Star and Mace are supposedly done for good this time."

I feign surprise, but inwardly, I can't help but feel a pang of satisfaction.

Mace has been treating Star terribly for months now, and I'm glad she's finally had enough. "Really? I thought they were supposed to be 'working on their issues'?"

"Yeah, well," Rosa says, mimicking air quotes with her fingers, "I guess Mace's dick had other plans and Star caught him with one of the new dancers."

"Of course he did," I mutter, rolling my eyes. "Men. Can't live with them and can't chloroform and bury them in the desert."

We both share a laugh at that, and I'm thankful for the distraction.

For now, I push away my thoughts of Viper and Allegra, focusing instead on my friendship with Rosa and the here and now.