Cupiō

Ihave to toss out most of the pancakes Gloom made; I plate the best looking ones, grab the coffee mug and take them into bed.

Ladybird's hair is spread all over the pillows as she sleeps with her mouth wide open. I smile to myself and touch her nose.

"Time to wake up," I say and she groans, turning over.

"We should have the day off after an event like that."

"Sorry, the Head Cupid is a bit of a dick. It's not a federal holiday," I reply and she snorts.

Ladybird turns back over and smiles when she sees I brought nourishment.

"Gloom made it. He also had to go to work."

She laughs at the stupid mug and scoots up the headboard to take a sip.

"Was last night too much?" she asks and I shake my head no.

"No, it's the first time I've felt alive in years. What about you? Was I too much?"

"You were perfect," she says and I lean down and give her a kiss.

"We need to get to the office. We're already late."

"Ugh. My boss is so demanding. Maybe I should quit and we could lie in bed all day," she suggests. "Especially when Gloom comes back home from work."

"Home?"

For the first time, I see Ladybird speechless. "I'm sorry. That was getting way ahead of myself. I didn't mean?—"

"No, I like it. This place is so big. The place is big enough for us each to have our space. I know I said I wanted to go slow, but I was scared. I'm not scared anymore," I promise her.

She grins widely. "I need the room with the largest closet."

"Done. Now, let's get ready for work."

"Fine," she complains, taking a bite of pancake, swallowing with slight disgust on her face before abandoning the tray and getting ready for the day.

I hold Ladybird's hand through the park as we head to our office building. I notice some odd looks the entire way.

"What the fuck is everyone's problem?" Ladybird asks as we walk by the lake.

As soon as we make it into the city, the gawking only gets worse. I'm mostly just wondering if it's probably just shock with our relationship being out in the open. Not only is Ladybird my employee, but she has a bit of a reputation in the community.

When a male cupid looks me up and down with disgust, Ladybird actually loses it.

"What's your deal, asshole?" she asks the man, getting in his face.

"Really? You haven't seen the Love Report?" the cupid says, holding up the trashy magazine.

"Oh great, what did that hack Harmony come up with now?" Ladybird asks, snatching the magazine from his hand.

As soon as I read the headline, I know it wasn't good news. But as I read on, all I feel is my stomach churning in regret.

"Seriously, what are you all? A bunch of teenage Earthlings reading a gossip rag? Grow the fuck up. In fact, I saw you." Ladybird points to a cupid. "Sucking some reaper's dick at the event last night. And you were canoodling with a nymph," Ladybird yells, pointing at another cupid. "You know what the issue is with all you cupids, you're a bunch of ungrateful, pretentious, whiny cu?—"

I hold a hand over her mouth. "Not here," I whisper in her ear as she tugs my hand away furiously. Her anger only rising over my stupid action of trying to quiet her.

"Cunts! You're a bunch of cunts," she shouts down the street, her heels clicking along the cobblestones as she heads the opposite way of our office.

"Birdie, where are you going?"

"To give Harmony a piece of my fucking mind." She seethes.

"It's just an article."

She turns, her hair wildly blowing in the breeze as she pushes her glasses up her nose. "No, it's not just an article. It's defamation foremost, and second, what if Gloom read it? What if he reads it and thinks he's less than because some bitch of a cupid who's looking to sell papers?"

I look down at the magazine clutched in Ladybird's fist.

"It's about me. Harmony has it out for me. She doesn't really care about Gloom."

Ladybird pinches the bridge of her nose and sighs. "He's sensitive, Cupiō. He's sweet and funny, and charming. But beyond it all, he's just as insecure and stupid as we are. I'm not about to let this bitch ruin what we finally have."

I look down at her, realizing that she's right and how passive I've been at my job lately, just letting everyone walk over me because it's easier.

"What did you have in mind?"

"A grand gesture," she says, walking with authority down the street.

"Birdie," I call out her name cautiously as I follow her. "I can't break the law."

"We're not breaking the law. Well, mostly. Come on."

"Fuck, Gloom was right. You should be the one with the daddy mug."

It makes her crack a smile and her eyes meet mine with a serious look. "We can't let anyone fuck this up, not when it's so new and perfect."

"I won't," I agree, grabbing her chin and kissing her.

"You're able to portal to Purgatory as Head Cupid, right?"

"Yes," I reply, wondering what the hell this woman has planned. Ladybird walks ahead of me, not saying anything else, and I suppose at this point, I'm along for the ride.

Ladybird doesn't let Harmony's secretary stop us from entering her office as she storms right past her and flings the office door wide open.

Harmony Lindt sits at her desk, looking smug and evil as she crosses her arms.

"Cupiō. Ladybird. What can I do for you?"

Ladybird grins and knocks a basket of pens and folders off her desk to take a seat.

"Don't act like a stupid bitch, for starters. You know why we're here."

I have to bite down my lip as Harmony swings her gaze over to Ladybird.

"I'm not sure what you have an issue with. Everything in the article was fact checked."

"It was an opinion piece, and a shitty one at that. You're going to issue a retraction and an apology."

Harmony leans forward, resting her hands on her chin.

"Or what, little bird?"

Ladybird's grin turns feral. "Then you'll learn what a psycho I can really be, Whormany."

I breathe through my nose, looking at the ceiling, loving this side of Ladybird as much as I want to get out of this room.

"Other cupids might be scared of your little power trip that you're on being the Head Cupid's lap dog, but that shit doesn't scare me."

Ladybird grabs the reporter's wrist, shocking the woman as she hands her hand out to me.

"Take us to Purgatory," Ladybird says confidently.

"What? No," Harmony pleads.

I look between the two women and do exactly what Ladybird asked, portalling us to Purgatory.

As soon as we land, Harmony is complaining. "This is kidnapping. I'll have you removed from office for this."

Ladybird drags her down the streets of Purgatory until she sees a familiar face.

"Morose," Ladybird shouts.

The reaper in question rolls her eyes and looks at the sky. "It's Mors."

"Right, sorry," Ladybird says. "Have you seen Gloom, and where exactly does Mortem work?"

Harmony tries to tug from Ladybird's grasp, but she doesn't let her. Mors looks at the situation before a wide smile takes over her face.

"I knew it would take a nutty one to finally lock Gloom down. Our apartment building is two blocks to the right. Gloom is apartment 5C. Mortem's office is that massive black building with the reflective glass. You know what, I'm not too busy to watch this all go down," Mors says, following us down the street.

"Let go of me. Cupiō, I swear if you don't take me back to Cupidale right now, everyone is going to know about this. You'll be overthrown immediately."

Harmony pops out her wings, hoping that will slow Ladybird down, but it doesn't.

"Let me go. I'll make a retraction. Please."

"Nope, that ship has sailed," Ladybird says firmly.

Harmony tugs against Ladybird's hold, but she's too strong.

"Gloom should be outside in three, two, one," Mors counts down. As soon as she hits one, Gloom, Love, Death, and Juliet all stand outside of the doorway looking dumbfounded.

"You're here? In Purgatory?" Gloom says, looking at the woman our girlfriend is holding hostage. "With another cupid."

"That's Harmony Lindt. Gods, this is terrifyingly romantic," Love says to Gloom, and I just shrug my shoulders.

"You kidnapped the woman who wrote the article?" Gloom asks.

"See. Did everyone hear that? I've been kidnapped," Harmony says, and Ladybird just tugs on her arm.

"It's a romantic gesture. To show that the article didn't mean anything," Ladybird says.

"We want you, Gloom. We don't care what anyone thinks," I add in, and Ladybird gives me a satisfied smile.

"Okay, you proved to your little boyfriend you're all in. Can you take me home now?" Harmony complains.

"No," Ladybird says, and Love and Gloom grin wildly.

"Uh, Birdie, babe, as hot as this all is, you're going to have to let her go at some point," Gloom says.

"She printed libel about reapers, that they aren't capable of love, which is a complete lie. I don't see anyone more fit to dish out her punishment than your very own Head Reaper."

"I love my life," Love says, and Gloom laughs.

"All right then, let's take her to Mortem."

"Fuck," Death hisses under his breath.

It's a ridiculous sight. The way Ladybird is dragging this woman down the streets of Purgatory with purpose. As we finally get to the building, I realize I love this insane woman with all of my heart.

"Please, no. They'll sacrifice me," Harmony complains.

"What do you think this place is?" Mors asks, and she and Ladybird share a moment of comradery. Gloom seems pleased his best friend and Ladybird have found some common ground.

Instrumental music plays in the elevator on our way up to Mortem's office.

When we reach the floor we're greeted with a surly secretary that no one speaks to besides Ladybird.

"I understand we don't have an appointment. But I need your Head Reaper to dish out a punishment for this cunty cupid who is spreading lies, saying reapers aren't capable of love and other unseemly things."

The secretary taps her dark nails against the wood and looks Ladybird up and down.

"We'll also send you an edible arrangement," Ladybird says, sweetening the deal, making the secretary smirk and open the door to her boss's office.

"How in the fuck? No one gets past Morticia!" Gloom asks.

"It's a gift," Ladybird says as she drags the cupid into the office.

"Who dares to disturb me?" Mortem asks in a deep drawl, spinning around in his office chair. He embarrassingly removes a pink feather from his shoulder with affection, and then a brown piece of fur with disgust.

"I apologize for the intrusion. But this cupid is out defaming reapers and their potential ability for love, and I thought you might want to handle the situation," Ladybird says.

"Cupiō, she's from your realm, can't you handle it?" Mortem asks.

"I'd like for her to live in your realm until she learns respect for different points of view," I say.

Both Ladybird and Gloom look at me like they're proud of me, and it has to be one of the best feelings I've ever had.

"No. Please. I'll stop writing about you in the Love Report. I take it all back."

Mortem rolls his eyes. "Morticia," he shouts his assistant's name.

"Yes, sir."

"Please find a place for this one in the liaison's office. I'm sure many reapers can benefit from learning about cupid culture," he says.

Morticia snaps her fingers, and she and Harmony are nowhere to be seen.

"Is there anything else?" Mortem asks.

"Yeah, you have to wear a pink outfit," Gloom whispers to Death, who groans.

"If that is all, please get the fuck out," Mortem says.

Our large crowd leaves the Head Reaper's office and we make our way to their main street. It's overcast and a slow trickle starts from the sky.

"Should we head back to my place?" Gloom asks.

"I think we should," I agree and Ladybird nods her head.

This certainly isn't how I planned on spending my day, and I can only imagine the amount of paperwork waiting for me at my desk. But when I truly think about it, there's really nowhere else I'd rather be.