Chapter 28

TWENTY-EIGHT

Talk about a day going sideways.

Ghost advice had started this mess and now I was in Nolan's truck driving to a drug store on the edge of Crescent Cove.

I rested my hand over my middle. A baby.

Now that Harriette had given me the heads up, so many things made sense. I'd just assumed I was tired because of the workload and my obsessing over Harriette's journal. I'd re-read the one she'd first given me again and again, and each time, the end left me shattered.

She'd sounded so alone.

Because she'd pushed her husband away.

I glanced over at Nolan. The first thing I'd wanted to do too.

He'd pushed me away every single time, and now he wanted me to give him a chance. I was officially crazy to even consider it. Sure, we had astounding sex, but was there really anything more to it?

But when he'd let me touch his scars, so many pieces fell together. He literally thought he deserved to have been hurt. That it was punishment for getting himself out of a bad situation.

That wasn't it at all.

It was an accident, that was all.

But the idea of him alone—without anyone there for him while he'd been on the verge of dying—scraped me raw.

Maybe the real reason he hadn't bled out on the floor was to give him a second chance.

Was it for me? For this baby?

Or was I just wrapped up in the lore of the house and all that loneliness?

Which echoed my own life. That I just had work and a cat—not even a cat right now—and part of me wanted more.

He parked the car, dragging me out of my chaotic thoughts.

I opened the door and was surprised when he got out with me. "You don't have to go in."

"I do. We're in this together."

I really wasn't sure what to do with this pro-togetherness version of Nolan. I was so used to him closing off. How long would this last? A week? Nine months?

Ugh.

I was making myself crazy.

I grabbed my purse and slammed the door.

He walked beside me and caught my hand, lacing our fingers. At my frown, he tightened his hold. "You're not alone in this, Hellcat. Whatever comes, all right?"

"You are so confusing."

"That makes two of us. You baffle me every damn day."

"Me?"

"You know, if I was a smart man, I would have run from you the minute we met."

I tried to twist my hand away.

"You literally vandalized my truck. And you spouted absolutely unhinged things every time we met." He hauled me in front of him. "But that wild streak of yours was exactly what I needed. I've been numb for years, Dahlia. There's nothing about us that could be called numb."

"That's just chemistry."

"Chemistry only covers this." He cupped my butt. "I always want to get in this insanely sexy body, and that peach scent of yours makes me crazy. I want it all over me, all the damn time."

My heart kicked against my breastbone.

"But that was just the start. It's your mouth and your brain that gets me every time." He lowered his mouth to mine. His cinnamon scent was faint today, but as usual, it made my mouth water. "Nothing will be boring between us. Ever." Then he straightened and tangled our fingers again. "You might not believe me about much right now, but you know that's true."

"Because we get off on fighting?"

"Everyone has to start somewhere." He pulled me along with him.

"I don't know how you're so calm about this baby thing?"

"Oh, I'm not. I'm terrified I'll screw something up, but I'm more terrified of letting this kid down. And most of all, letting you down. And I can tell you right now, I'm going to screw up. But I'll always be there for you."

The doors of the drugstore opened as we got closer, and he quickly led me down the aisle marked for female products. It always made me laugh that there were just as many contraceptives next to the early pregnancy tests. Was that to make us feel bad about our choices?

The shelves were stocked.

Like seriously stocked.

There had to be a half dozen different kinds. Nolan plucked one of each off the shelf and handed me three and took three. We passed the condoms, and he gave me a half grin. "Don't need those anymore."

"What makes you think you'll be getting me naked?"

His half grin turned into a smirk.

"That is not winning you points."

"I remember hearing something about a horny first trimester. Or was it the second? I don't know. I haven't been around a lot of pregnant women."

"And who says I'll be letting you be a part of that horny space and time, pal?"

The woman behind the counter grinned. "Damn right, girl."

"See?"

Nolan took my pregnancy tests and slid them onto the counter. Then he stood back and skimmed the candy in front of the counter. "No Red Hots, huh?"

"What you see is what you get, sugar."

He grabbed a pack of cinnamon gum and then glanced at me. "Want anything?"

I moved down to the end of the counter where the drinks were and got the biggest water. "Think I'll need this for all of those."

The cashier snickered.

Then I reached down for a large Twix bar.

"Anything else?"

I snatched a People Magazine off the rack.

He laughed and shoved his credit card into the machine. After we were rung out, he saluted the cashier with one of his crooked grins and she wiggled her shoulders. "You guys are cute."

He gave her a little salute and took the bag. "Thank you, I think so too. She makes me look good."

What freaking alternate reality were we living in?

But he took my hand again and dragged me after him. He went around the truck and opened the door for me.

"Okay, this is getting weird."

"Get in the truck, Hellcat."

I climbed in and took the bag. Having no shame at this point, I reached in for my candy bar and busted it open. I definitely needed chocolate for this weird day.

"Should we go to my place?" I asked.

"We can. Or we can go to mine. It's closer."

Nerves fluttered in my belly. "Okay, yours."

He shut the door and circled the truck, and then he pulled out his phone on his way to his house. After quickly sending off a text, he tossed the phone into the cup holder.

"Who are you texting?"

"My roommate."

"You're texting the cat?"

He laughed. "Archer has been crashing at the trailer. I told him to scram."

"So, you expect me to take all these tests in your Airstream?"

"Yep. Drink up, Hellcat."

I finished one of the Twix bars and cracked the top on my water. This day just kept getting stranger.

By the time we got back to Harriette Lane, Archer's truck was missing. The cement mixer was gone as well, so it looked like that was done for the day, as well.

There were a few people working on the roof, but otherwise, it was a light crew day, it seemed.

He parked. "Sit tight."

I kicked open the door, and he sighed as he hustled around to me. "Can't even let me try to be a gentleman?"

"You weren't before." I hopped out.

"Yeah, well, things are gonna change."

"So you keep saying." I flounced off to the Airstream, but the stupid door was locked, which ruined some of my huff. But the kitty waiting for me inside made me lose the attitude.

The minute he unlocked the door, Gizmo came running down the hallway from his bedroom. He immediately started chirping for me to pick him up.

When Nolan came in behind me, the Airstream immediately felt smaller. Or maybe it was the bag of tests he was holding that made it seem like a tin can.

He eased by me, brushing his hand over my hip.

The familiar buzz was annoying when I was still trying to be mad at him. Why was this my damn life? We'd used condoms, for God's sake. And we hadn't actually had sex in Crescent Cove.

"Just how old was that condom in your wallet?"

He opened his fridge and pulled out one of his cans of Liquid Death. "Pretty old. It's been a while since I've been with anyone, Dahlia."

I set the bag on the couch. "How long?"

"Two years, give or take."

"Really?"

"Since before my accident."

"And look at us with a hole in one." I laughed, but it sounded strangled even to my ears.

He walked toward me and took Gizmo out of my arms. "We'll do this together from now on."

I didn't know what to say, so I just nodded and grabbed the tests. "Let's give this a go." I hurried back to the bathroom area and closed myself in.

Five minutes later, I had all of them lined up on the bottom of the shower stall.

"Hellcat?"

"What?" My head was between my knees, and I was trying desperately not to hyperventilate.

"Everything okay in there?"

"Define okay."

"We're going to be fine, whatever way it goes, okay?" He seemed to be directly outside the door. I could picture his ridiculous shoulders filling the space and that face I was growing to...

Not love.

It had to be the influx of hormones. Baby hormones?

I covered my eyes with my hands. God, it had to be baby hormones. I couldn't be in love with this man. He drove me crazy on the regular. Except when we were naked. And naked wasn't the basis of a relationship, no matter what my hormones said.

"I'm coming in there."

"The hell you are." I reached out for the door handle. The room was a damn closet, and I could reach from the toilet where I was still sitting. Okay, so I was sitting on the lid at the moment, but still.

But it was too late. He'd already opened the door.

And sure enough, those shoulders were just as big as I remembered. He took my hands and pulled me in close. "Whatever happens, I'm here." He wrapped his arms around my waist, and he bent down as close as possible.

The room wasn't big enough for both of us, but I went onto my toes and buried my face in his neck. "I'm afraid to look."

He brought one hand up to cup the back of my head. "Want me to look?"

"You probably already did."

"The line up kinda can't be missed, Hellcat." He eased me back. "Are we looking for lines, no lines? Words?"

"All of the above." I turned in his arms and we both looked down. "Your shower is really clean."

He chuckled and kissed my forehead. "I'm a neat guy."

"There's one thing going for you." I peered up at him after checking out the verdict. "So, we're pregnant."

"Looks like it. Can't disagree with five different tests. Especially that one with the huge plus sign."

I leaned into him and looped my arms around his waist. "I'm still mad at you."

"You probably will be mad at me daily."

I couldn't stop the laugh. I turned my head into his chest and the usual scent of cinnamon was there, but the warmth of him seeped into me. I had to admit it was really nice to lean on someone, but what happened when he freaked out and left me in the dust? "This is crazy."

"Maybe not so crazy. Maybe..."

"What?" I looked up at him.

"Maybe it's exactly right."

He made no sense. He'd been pushing me away for weeks. "Why the hell are you so calm about this? I'm literally freaking out here."

"You seem pretty rock steady."

I held up my hand and it trembled.

He took it and pressed a kiss to my palm. "We just have to get used to the idea a little, that's all."

"What, that I made a baby with a grumpy, emotionally unavailable ex-artist? Whee."

He stiffened, but then he relaxed. "I made one with a mouthy, amazing, creative, demanding designer."

"Did I mention this is crazy?"

"Maybe." He backed out of the bathroom. "But you're my kind of crazy."

I closed the door on him one more time. I didn't know how to handle this Nolan.

I scooped up the tests and put them back in the boxes and dumped them in the bag before washing my hands again.

Truthfully, I didn't know how I was going to handle any of this.

I opened the door again and he was on the couch with the cat, scrolling on his phone. Gizmo was curled up on his shoulder with his head hiding in Nolan's shaggy hair.

"So, I downloaded this app."

"You what?"

He looked up from his screen. "Pregnancy tracker something or other. When was your last period?"

"Dude, we are not doing this."

"What? I was just trying to figure out when the baby was coming."

I sat down next to him and gave Gizmo a scratch. I pulled my phone out of my bag and opened my period tracker. It had a pregnancy component that I truly never thought I'd use. At least not in the next few years.

But here we were.

"Oh, God. Shelby and I will be having our kids a few months apart."

"Is that a good thing?"

"I don't know." The tears hit me out of the blue. "But like cousins. I always wanted cousins to play with when I was a kid. At least you had Macy."

He picked at something on his hand. "Yeah. She kept me sane when we were little."

I dropped my phone in my lap and grabbed his hand. "Nolan, what did you do to your hands?"

"I couldn't get you out of that damn library. I guess I got ripped up a little."

He wanted to get to me that badly? "Where's your first aid kit?"

"It's not that bad."

"Tell that to your bloody fingers, pal." How the hell hadn't I noticed them before?

You'd been that wrapped up in yourself, that's how.

I stood and pulled him up off the couch. Gizmo gave an unhappy chirp but leaped onto the shelf behind the couch.

"Hellcat, it's fine. I've had worse."

"Just don't argue." I turned on the taps in his sink and nothing happened.

"Gizmo."

"God, you have to be kidding."

"What?" He reached up into the cabinet where the on and off taps were and then turned on the faucet.

He'd remembered what I said about Gizmo, and he'd taken really good care of him since I'd had to give him up. "Nothing. Wash those hands. Where is the kit?" He gestured to the below cabinet. I found it and pulled out the peroxide and triple antibiotic.

"It's not a big deal. I get worse helping Archer."

"Yeah, well, if you want those hands on me again, you'll listen."

He held out his hands over the sink. "Do your worst."

"Funny guy."

Which also wasn't the norm for him. Not that I hadn't seen a few bits of humor inside of him before, but he was quick to press them down. Like he didn't deserve to be happy or even amused.

I poured the peroxide over his battered cuticles and watched it foam. He didn't flinch. Not that peroxide was painful, but he really didn't seem to notice the pain at all. Was that because he'd experienced so very much of it?

"Hellcat."

"What?" I glanced up at him.

"You're staring at my hands."

"There's a lot of scars here."

"Welding tools aren't exactly kind to the body."

I turned his hand over to see a series of burns along his forearm and twisted it back for the webbing of scars over his knuckles. "Do you miss it?"

I could feel him tightening up, but then he blew out a slow breath. "Sometimes. But after the accident, there's nothing in there. I used to see pieces of a car in the junkyard and know exactly what it would become. I couldn't pull the scraps apart fast enough to get them reshuffled into what I saw in my head." He flexed his hands. "Why I have so many burns. Impatient."

"Then why did it stop?"

"I don't know. The first time someone paid me for a piece, it was asinine, to be truthful. I went from a shitty co-op space in Brooklyn to living in Manhattan. This woman talked me up."

"What's her name?"

He sighed.

I could tell he didn't want to tell me. I was a designer. I knew that word of mouth was king.

"Kim Tomlinson."

Or, in that case, queen. Dear God. "Well, then."

"I take it you know who she is?"

"Pretty sure she was at the bottom of that People Magazine cover in my bag."

He reddened. "Yeah, well. We got involved for a while and she paraded me in front of her rich friends."

"You used to go out with Kim Tomlinson?" My stomach jittered.

And now he wanted to be with me? Kim was one of the most beautiful and influential women in the world.

"Yeah, it was not a smart move."

"It wasn't?"

"It was fun for a while, but she treated me like a damn show pony.I was stupid. All I saw was that people wanted to buy my work, then came the oh, I have an idea. Can you make this?" His whole body tensed. "Then I was a trick pony."

"And you forgot how to do things you loved."

"Pretty much." He pulled his hand away.

I knew there was more to the story, and the urge to deep dive his life on Google was terrifyingly strong. But I wasn't sure I could see him wound around a gorgeous socialite without losing my damn mind.

I wasn't exactly sure what that said about me.

I knew one thing, though. I was freaking exhausted. "I should go home."

"Why?"

"Because I'm dead on my feet and it's been a very long day."

He backed up. "Take a nap with Gizmo."

"I..."

"If you want to head home after that, by all means."

Gizmo must have heard his name, since he trotted over to twine around my ankles. I bent down and picked him up. I was too tired to argue and a little cuddle time with my cat was exactly what I needed.

"Okay."

"Good. There are shirts in the skinny cupboard if you want to get out of your dress. But feel free to wear nothing at all." He grinned, then he kissed my forehead. He grabbed another water out of his fridge. "I'll let you rest. I think I heard Archer's truck pull up."

Sleep naked in his bed? He freaking wished.