23. Cas

Punchingin the code to the main door of the apartment building, I tried really hard not to overthink this. Lucy wanted to talk to me. In person. And I had no fucking idea why.

I wanted to feel relieved I was going to be in the same room with her again, but I just didn't understand why she wanted me.

Not Liam.

The front door buzzed and I shoved it open, heading for the stairs instead of the elevator.

I'd told Liam to head to the apartment across the hall from hers because I didn't want him in a vehicle without me if things went sideways. Being able to go across the hall if he did something stupid would be a lot faster.

Dragging Lucy over there wouldn't be hard either. She had her chance to deny us. If she tried to say something ridiculous again I wasn't going to let her get away with it.

Inviting me up to her apartment was dangerous and she'd done it anyway, even when I'd warned her not to.

I took the stairs two at a time and tried to remind myself I couldn't grab her the second she opened the door – I couldn't sink my teeth into her neck or rip those scent blockers off. I'd even made sure to wear them myself since Nathan put her on the suppressants, worried I might lose control and accidentally send her into heat again.

The metal door slammed into the wall and I winced, annoyed that I was already losing control of my strength thanks to just how fucking worried I was. I tried to reel it all back in as I walked down the hall toward her apartment.

Stopping right outside her door, I studied the brass number on it and tried to decide if I should knock or use the key I made when I set up all the cameras.

Lucy opened the door before I could decide and she looked so fucking cute my brain went stupid.

It felt like an eternity since I last saw her and I forced myself to keep my hands at my sides, using every drop of willpower I possessed to keep from wrapping her up in a bear hug when she was right here.

For a long time we just stared at each other and she almost seemed surprised I'd actually showed up.

I raised an eyebrow at her, trying to play it off. "Are you gonna let me in?"

Her cheeks got a little pink, but she still didn't move.

This was way more nerve-wracking than I thought it would be. The way she looked at me…it was as if she saw something no one else could. I had to admit, it made me feel a little self-conscious. Something I hadn't felt in a really fucking long time, but Lucy had me acting like a teenager all over again which was more than a little aggravating.

A decade with absolute control over my pheromones and instincts seemed like nothing more than a distant memory when she looked at me like this, waiting for something.

I had no idea what she was thinking.

That used to bother me, but now it felt like I was standing on the threshold of her own little world, not just her apartment. She was judging me – weighing the pros and cons of letting me in. If I was lucky, she'd invite me into her world and maybe then I'd finally understand what she saw when she looked at me like this.

Her grey eyes gleamed like the moon and I wondered what color they would turn when we finally bonded her.

Tucking my hands in my pockets, I made sure she saw me admiring her from head to toe. "Did you miss me?"

"Yes."

I blinked, giving myself a second to let that revelation settle in my bones.

Lucy missed me.

Me.

Watching her walk away from me and not being able to stop her…I was convinced she'd never come back. Why would she? I was nobody to her. Just an alpha who helped her through an unusually intense heat.

I was the guy she found torturing someone – a psycho stalker who had to track her every breath or I would lose my goddamn mind.

She'd discovered all my dirty little secrets and still, she missed me.

I wrapped my arms around her and lifted her up before I could stop myself, burying my face in her neck.

Ignoring every instinct I had over the last week – to go to her, comfort her, protect her…it was worse than torture.

All I could smell was her soap and the pheromone neutralizing perfume she was wearing, but it was enough.

Her warmth and weight, the softness of her skin and hair, and the brightness of her eyes were all more than enough. I didn't need to catch her scent to get lost in her. Just her presence was enough to do that.

After what felt like an eternity apart, I was finally getting to hold my omega. Lucy was in my arms, hugging me like she'd never let go and I'd suffer through it all again if it meant I got to have this.

Carrying her inside the apartment with her feet dangling about a foot off the floor, I kicked the door closed and turned around, pressing her up against it so I could feel every single curve of her body.

I cupped the back of her head so she didn't slam against the door and the sensation of her silky hair against my palm made me want to pull it out of those buns even if they did look really fucking cute on her.

She was letting me hold her like this without a single protest and it was more than I'd dared to hope for. I was sure she'd be all annoyed I wasn't letting her talk first, but the death grip she had on my shirt told me the last few days had been just as hard on her as it was for us.

"God, I missed you," I told her as I rubbed my nose over the adhesive of her scent blockers. "Don't ever make me do that again."

Her hand suddenly covered my face, pushing it away as she started struggling against me.

The last fucking thing I wanted to do was let her go, but she wouldn't have invited me up here if she didn't want to give me a chance – if she didn't trust me at least a little bit.

Forcing myself to release her, I made sure to set her gently on her feet before taking a step back. And then another. I leaned against the wall separating her office from the rest of the apartment and crossed my arms over my chest as I waited for her to explain.

Lucy looked away from me like she was suddenly nervous, but it was hard to be sure without being able to scent her pheromones. She pulled on the hem of her shirt to cover more of her bare legs, and I forced myself to keep my eyes on her face.

It took her a second to get over her uncertainty, but then she straightened her shoulders and dropped the hem of her shirt to look me right in the eye. "Did you erase the data from the Valor servers?"

I frowned before I could stop myself. "What data?"

Lucy crossed her arms over her chest like she thought I might be acting dumb on purpose. "Data was sent to an external source from the Valor Enterprises network, but all traces of it were deleted from the servers and the firewall. A normal person wouldn't know how to do that. So…was it you?"

I clenched my jaw, annoyed at the backhanded compliment and the fact that I had no idea that was even happening. "Which server was it?"

Her clear grey eyes narrowed, daring me to lie to her. "All of them."

That didn't make any sense. I dropped my gaze to the floor as I considered the possibilities, pissed I hadn't thought to set up a separate system that would alert me directly, not just the IT department.

It was too late now, but if none of the hardware had been replaced it would be easy enough to restore the data.

"Cas."

I shook my head, knowing it wouldn't be easy for her to believe me without proof. "I don't really mess with the internal crap. All the corporate shit was up to Liam and Gideon to manage. What I did…what I do is not exactly above board."

Lucy held my gaze and I refused to look away, let alone blink.

Anyone else and this kind of direct challenge would piss me off, but I loved seeing just how strong she was. My omega didn't give a fuck that I was an alpha and she'd carefully positioned herself so she would have easy access to her guns if she needed them.

"I can't lie to you." I shrugged one shoulder like it was no big deal, but we both knew better. "Even if I wanted to, I don't think I could."

Lucy could ask me anything and I'd tell her, which was why Liam wouldn't tell me what the fuck he'd taken from her apartment.

"Okay, fine. Let's say I decide to believe everything you tell me." She glanced over at the drawer where she kept her guns. "Is there anything I don't know about, that I should?"

She may not be as good with people as Frankie, but Lucy understood our situation wasn't exactly normal and she was using that to her advantage. If I was caught in a lie, she'd know whether she should accept us as her alphas or not.

"Anything ever?"

Lucy glared at me. "No, not anything ever. Don't be stupid. I want to know if you and Liam are hiding anything from me. Are you really willing to risk any possible future we might have by trying to find a loophole?"

I smiled slightly, wishing she could understand just how badly I wanted to tell her everything. "Those are two very different questions, so I'm going to answer both. Just to be safe."

Her irritation slipped away and Lucy seemed nervous and unsure again. If she kept this up I wasn't going to be able to stand here and do nothing when she looked like she desperately needed someone to lean on.

"I can't tell you what Liam took from this apartment since I have no idea what it is and he won't tell me. Honestly, it's none of my business. That's between the two of you and I have nothing to do with it."

Lucy's arms dropped to her sides and she took a step toward me before she realized what she was doing.

I gripped my biceps hard enough to bruise so I wouldn't fuck this up and reach for her before I should. "Other than whatever this weird game is between you and Liam, we're not intentionally hiding anything from you. Well, I guess there's the apartment he's renting across the hall, but I doubt that's something you give a shit about."

Her cheeks got pink again and I didn't think seeing someone as prickly as Lucy blush would ever get old.

"I'm sorry, he's renting the apartment across the hall?"

"You ran off by yourself to prove we only wanted your pheromones, not you. Do you have any idea how long it takes to get here from Chinatown in traffic? What if something happened and we couldn't get here in time? There's no way either of us would risk your safety like that."

Lucy stared at me like I was crazy, but she should have expected something like this after so casually accepting that we were stalking her – I'd even go so far as to say she enjoyed it.

"This game between you and Liam isn't something he wants to hide either," I tried to explain, ruffling my hair in annoyance. It sounded like I was making excuses, but that game had to play out the right way or everything would go to shit and all this would be for nothing.

"There are things you don't know about yet that I've wanted to tell you. I just didn't know how to tell you when you needed space. I didn't want to bring it up out of nowhere and make you think I was trying to get you to see me before you wanted to."

Lucy took another step toward me and then hesitated.

Five seconds. That's how long it took for her to decide whether I was telling the truth or not and it was the longest five seconds of my fucking life.

Then she suddenly closed the distance between us and slammed into me with enough force I had to take a step back when I caught her.

"You should have waited until I told you what it was," I murmured, eyes closing in bliss when I felt her silky hair brush against my cheek. "There's no way I'm ever letting you go now."

Her arms tightened around my neck, as if she thought I might try to pull away from her. Lucy didn't say anything though and I just held her, too amazed she was allowing me to touch her to do anything else.

I couldn't help myself anymore. Grabbing her thigh, I yanked her up and she wrapped her legs around my waist. Her natural scent was missing, but it was enough to feel her heart beating against mine.

"I really thought it was just me," she whispered.

"No, sweetheart. It's definitely not just you." I rubbed my cheek against hers, teeth scraping against her skin, aching to mark her now that she was finally mine.

I wanted to watch her for the rest of my life – to have her near me. I wanted to feel her chest rising and falling while the scent of my pheromones and Liam's got all tangled up in hers. Her skin, her slick, her ink…all of it needed to mine.

My teeth in her neck would make that happen.

I wanted to see the silvery scar of my bond on the back of her neck more than I've ever wanted anything in my life. Then I'd finally know where she was no matter what happened. I'd be able to find her, feel her. Even if we weren't in the same room.

Fuck, she could be across the world and I'd still know where she was.

I pulled back just enough she could see the burning need I had for her in my eyes—my soul. Lucy stared into the eyes that everyone found unsettling and she looked so relieved I couldn't fucking stand it.

The second I gave in and kissed her, everything felt right in the world, but I kept it soft and gentle. I didn't devour her like I wanted to.

Not yet.

"As much as I've been dreaming of this moment, there's something I need to tell you, Lucy."