17. Lucy

I stoodin the center of my destroyed apartment, chest heaving with every breath as I tried not to scream.

Knowing Liam had taken something of mine didn't bother me, but not knowing what it was he took was making me lose my fucking mind.

My office had every single item that had once been neatly displayed on my shelves or in the drawers in piles on the floor. I'd tossed everything but what I was working on to the floor too, picking up every item more than once to be sure, and I'd finally come to the conclusion that he hadn't taken anything from my office.

The living room and kitchen were also in shambles.

A phonk song blared through the speakers loud enough my brain vibrated in my skull. It felt soothing and was probably the only thing keeping me from ripping apart the walls to see what I might have missed.

If I hadn't had the recording of Frankie's interviews playing through the earbud in my ear, I might have started crying.

The last thing I needed was a mental breakdown, but thankfully, I've always been good at multitasking and the noise of the song didn't drown out the sound of Frankie questioning everyone who'd been in the building the day Gideon was killed. Being able to hear both noises at the same time actually helped me focus on the nuances of their tone when they answered.

I logged every detail in my brain while I kept my hands busy.

Flicking my gaze to the large monitor displayed on the far wall, I saw that Frankie was still at the Lopez compound, and by default, so was Cassius.

What the fuck was taking them so long?

I closed my eyes and tilted my head to the side, popping my neck and relieving some tension. Then I did the same on the other side and refocused on the disaster I'd made.

Tapping my fingers on my thigh, I studied the dining room Frankie and I had turned into an at home office. It had these really nice pocket doors that covered up the mess in here whenever we had people over, not that that happened often.

Sometimes I closed them just so I wouldn't have to look at the chaos, but most of the time I found it soothing to be able to see it.

This was where Frankie and I spent the most time together when we weren't on the couch watching whatever new show I demanded she watch with me from beginning to end.

Now that I knew there were cameras in here, I looked at it with fresh eyes.

Liam had two angles in here from what I remembered. I assumed it was because Frankie and I sat facing each other like we did at the Genesis office. I liked being able to see her face when I worked and it gave us room on the walls to put up our suspects along with their connections until we had the bigger picture.

The method was antiquated and inefficient but sometimes it helped me see things I couldn't on my computer screen.

Currently, mine was nothing but a blank space and I tried not to feel guilty about that.

Frankie had done a bit on her own during my heat, but she'd put mostly question marks on everything instead of anything I could use. Her board was full of personality traits, habits, and that kind of thing while mine typically had random shit like all the MAC and IP addresses under their name as well as whoever sent them a message or email with their MAC and IP addresses.

The office was big enough for our two desks, and the floor-to-ceiling shelves I'd installed to my left as well as two small loveseats where we would sit when we needed a different perspective.

The low table between the loveseats had a puzzle on it that was white on both sides. Doing that stupid puzzle had helped me solve the last case, but I haven't been able to finish it yet.

I tilted my head slightly as I studied the unfinished areas and cracked my knuckles one at a time as I tried to decide if Frankie had added those two pieces or if it'd been Liam.

My gaze went from one piece to another and then back again as I tracked which ones I've done and the ones I've seen Frankie do as I listened to her voice ask one of the janitors about their nightly routine.

Liam Valor had been in my home before Cassius had set up the surveillance. I didn't know why I was so sure of that, but I was. And Cassius wouldn't touch my puzzle. He was too good at going unnoticed, but Liam? Liam would want to fuck with my head. He'd want to see if I'd notice, and if I did, what I would do about it.

It was a fucking problem I found that attractive.

The music from my speakers pulsed in an endless loop, the bass of the wordless phonk pounding in my chest the same way my heart had when I'd seen just how insane Liam and Cassius really were.

The curve of each piece drew me in, distracting me from what else Liam might have touched. I tried not to focus on how the sea of perfect white pieces reminded me of Liam's pristine white sheets before Arturo's blood was smeared all over them.

I paused the recording with a tap on my earbud, searching for the evidence I so desperately needed.

One step, and then another – the beat controlling my body more than anything else. It helped quiet some of the thoughts that kept sending me into a spiral, but right now, in this moment…I heard nothing other than the music.

It scratched an itch in my brain I could never quite reach and I stopped at the table, studying the pieces, enjoying the vibration as I cataloged each and every piece.

A single piece sat on the edge instead of in the box with the others I haven't found a home for yet and I knelt down in the split second of silence before the music vibrated the floor and my bones with the next note.

I set my fingertip on the piece, knowing this was a clue he'd left for me.

Eyeing the puzzle, I tried to figure out where it went, knowing if I could do that, I'd be able to see what else he'd touched.

There was no doubt in my mind Liam was watching me right now, and the smile tugging at the corners of my lips should worry me, but I couldn't quite force myself to be annoyed when my stupid brain was convinced this meant he really did care.

These two better watch out, because if they kept this shit up, they'd learn what it felt like to be on the receiving end of someone's obsessive attention.

My heart beat steadily as I stared at the puzzle, the one thing in this room I hadn't destroyed.

At least the suppressants were working. As far as I knew. I didn't feel like I was about to go into heat at any moment anymore or have a heart attack, but I was also in my own apartment, alone for the first time in a very, very long time.

Even Frankie's scent was barely there thanks to the new air purifiers she had in every room, making the last fifteen years of our friendship feel like an illusion.

We've never had this many air purifiers in our apartment before and I was desperately trying not to read too much into it, but it was impossible when that damn word kept repeating in my head like a curse.

Why, why, why, why, why?

Was it the lingering traces of my pheromones making her sick, or was it that she didn't want me to deal with whatever remaining hints of her rut was left? Honestly, it didn't smell like she'd had a rut at all. At least, not here.

So, then where?

I didn't try to fit the puzzle piece into any available opening, but studied the options for a long time, inspecting the details of each edge as I tucked a curl behind my ear.

The doctor had monitored me for an entire hour before he finally let me go home. I still had to check my blood pressure every hour though and keep track of how I was feeling, but other than that, everything seemed to be fine.

At least we had one less thing to worry about now.

If the regimen of suppressants worked as the doctor assumed they would, I'd be able to live normally again. I wouldn't have to worry about catching a whiff of anyone's pheromones and losing my shit like I had in the basement.

It was already helping.

I had to get my blood drawn and heart checked every day but so far, it was working without causing even more problems, or creating irreparable damage. Nathan was very pleased with my progress and had already started lowering my dose a milligram at a time.

At this rate, it might only take weeks to finally be at my new normal without needing suppressants.

Things could change if I didn't see Liam or Cassius again…or if I did.

Sliding my finger along the edge of my scent blockers, I tried to focus on the puzzle and not the memory of Liam tracing my neck just like this. He'd looked so melancholy as he'd stared at the adhesive too.

His admission that he preferred the way I normally wore them had affected me more than I'd expected. He'd phrased it in a way that almost turned it into a request. I don't know how he'd managed to get me to understand what he was inferring either.

Normally, that shit went right over my head, but I'd understood what he really meant and for whatever reason, that affected me more than any alpha command from him would have. He'd asked, as if I had a choice.

Liam and Cas kept giving me choices and it was wearing down any willpower I might have left to resist them.

I gently placed the piece he'd left out for me in the spot where it belonged. The way it clicked into place so effortlessly was extremely satisfying. I looked up at the corner in the ceiling where one of the cameras were and raised an eyebrow, wondering what the purpose of this little game was.

Maybe it was nothing more than a reminder he'd snuck in here and left me proof that he could touch every single aspect of my life and no one would notice. Not even Frankie. I was the only one who'd be able to see it.

Just like whatever it was he took.

I shoved the unfinished puzzle off the table to the floor, giving in to the sudden impulse and destroying the whole thing in one go…hours and hours of work gone in a single second. It was oddly satisfying to see something so perfectly white and pristine in a messy heap on the floor.

Liam wanted to make sure I was the only person in the world who would ever see what he was doing and I just couldn't figure out why. What was it he was leading me to? What secret did he want me to find?

Whatever it was, I knew that no one else would come to the same conclusion I would when I finally found it and that scared the living shit out of me.

What the fuck did we have in common that would give me an answer like that?

I almost didn't want to know.