Chapter 5

five

. . .

Lila

I stare down at my plate, pushing peas around with my fork as the dinner table conversation swirls around me. Every nerve in my body is attuned to Ethan's presence across from me, his piercing blue gaze boring into me. I can't bring myself to meet his eyes. Not after what happened in the kitchen, his fingers plunging into my wet heat, bringing me to the edge of ecstasy. My cheeks flush at the mere memory.

Mom and Richard chatter on obliviously about their days, the weather, weekend plans. But the tension stretching between me and Ethan is a palpable living thing, ready to snap at any moment.

"Lila honey, you've barely touched your chicken. Is everything alright?" Mom's concerned voice jolts me out of my daze.

"Yeah I'm fine, just not very hungry." I mumble, still avoiding Ethan's relentless stare. I can't take this suffocating tension a minute longer. Abruptly, I stand up.

"May I be excused? I have a lot of studying to do."

"Of course dear, you're working so hard in your lit classes. We won't keep you."

I hurry out of the dining room, Ethan's eyes burning into my back. In the sanctuary of my bedroom, I collapse on the bed, pulse racing. What is happening to me? I've never felt this unhinged, this out of control. Wicked fantasies flood my mind—Ethan's strong hands on my body, claiming me, owning me. Lord, I need to get a grip!

A sharp knock at the door makes my heart leap into my throat. "Lila, can I come in?" Ethan's deep voice, laced with irritation.

Reluctantly, I open the door a crack. "What do you want?"

He pushes his way in, crowding me back into the room. "We need to talk. You've been avoiding me all week."

"Gee, I wonder why." I cross my arms defensively, meeting his piercing gaze. "Maybe because my stepbrother shoved his fingers inside me? This is so messed up, Ethan! What happened was wrong."

His jaw clenches. "Don't act like you didn't want it. I felt how wet you were, heard those pretty little moans."

"It doesn't matter! We can't do this. It's totally taboo."

"I don't care!" He rakes a hand through his hair in frustration. "Goddammit Lila, I can't stop thinking about you. I want you so fucking bad."

"Keep your voice down!" I hiss, my heart hammering wildly. He steps closer, pinning me with those intense blue eyes. The heat of his body seeps into me.

"Tell me you don't feel this thing between us," he says roughly. "This isn't some fleeting crush. I crave you. I burn for you."

"Ethan please..." I whisper helplessly, even as arousal coils tight in my core. "It's wrong. So wrong."

"Then I don't want to be right."

In one swift motion, he hauls me against him and crashes his lips to mine in a brutal, passionate kiss...

Ethan's mouth claims mine, his tongue delving deep to stake his possession. I moan into him, my resistance crumbling under the onslaught of sensation. He tastes of whiskey and obsession, dark and addictive.

Large hands grip my hips, jerking me flush against the rigid length of his arousal. He wants me to feel what I do to him. "This is how much I burn for you," he rasps against my lips. "Only you, Lila."

I fist my hands in his shirt, torn between shoving him away and dragging him closer. "We can't," I pant, even as I arch wantonly into him.

"We can. I'll never stop until I have you." His fingers thread into my hair, tugging sharply to bare my throat to his marauding mouth. "You haunt my every thought. I need to be buried inside you."

Ohmygod . His words send bolts of desire streaking through my veins. It's so wrong but feels so right. I want him with a visceral ache.

As if sensing my surrender, Ethan walks me back until my thighs hit the edge of the bed. We tumble down in a tangle of groping limbs. His weight settles over me, hard and insistent.

"Tell me you want this," he commands, his breath hot against my ear. "Tell me you need me as badly as I need you."

I do. Heaven help me, I do. But the words stick in my throat, choked by the guilt clawing up my spine. Tears prick my eyes.

Ethan gentles his hold, drawing back to look at me. Tenderness mixes with the naked hunger etched on his aristocratic features. "Oh baby," he murmurs, "I know it's scary. I'm scared too. But what I feel for you is real."

He traces the damp curve of my cheek. "We can have this. I'll give you everything. Just say yes and you own me, body and soul."

My heart feels like it might burst. No one has ever wanted me with such terrifying intensity. It thrills and frightens me in equal measure. Can I open Pandora's box? Dare I take the forbidden fruit he's offering?

I swallow and shake my head. “No.”

Ethan growls deep in throat, his frustration a live thing as he pushes himself off me.

He punches the bed, his jaw clenched hard. “I’ll be here when you finally decide to stop fighting us,” he grits out as he adjusts his raging erection through his pants and walks out of the room, slamming the door behind him.

I collapse back onto the bed and cover my face with my hands.

What the hell am I going to do?