Chapter 5

Colton

The sun hangs low over the dusty horizon as I watch her from across the corral, the fading light catching in her auburn waves. Sam's reaching up to brush a horse's muzzle, murmuring gentle words I can't quite make out. Even from this distance, her beauty steals my breath. Those soft curves, that radiant smile, those eyes that shimmer like emeralds—she's a vision in a simple blue dress and boots.

I swallow hard past the lump in my throat. What business do I have thinking' on her like this? I'm supposed to be protecting' her, not undressing' her with my eyes. She deserves a better man than a rough-hewn cowboy barely keeping' his ranch from foreclosure. A girl like that...she'd never truly want the likes of me.

Abruptly, I turn away before she catches me staring'. Distance. That's what I need. Some space between us 'fore I do something' mighty stupid, like pull her into my arms and...

No. I shake my head, tryin' to clear it. Can't be thinking' like that. I busy myself with the saddle I'm mending', forcing my eyes down, jaw clenched tight enough to ache.

"Colton?" Her sweet voice drifts over, making' my heart thump harder against my ribs. "You've been awful quiet today. Everything alright?"

"Fine," I manage to grunt, not lookin' up. "Just got a lot of work to do, is all."

Silence stretches between us, thick with unsaid things. I risk a glance her way. Hurt flickers across her delicate features before she masks it with a tight smile.

"Of course. I'll just...leave you to it then." Her voice wavers slightly before she turns to walk away, skirts swishing around her ankles.

Guilt twists in my gut as I watch her go, shoulders slumped, arms wrapped around herself. I'm hurting her with my distance, I know it. Confusing her. But it's for the best. She'll realize soon enough she made a mistake coming here, thinking a mail-order marriage was the answer.

She deserves happiness, love, a future. And I...I can't give her any of that. No matter how badly I ache to.

The chill of the night air seeps into my bones as I stare out the kitchen window, watching moonlight paint the ranch in shades of silver and shadow. Sleep won't come, not with her sleeping under my roof, just down the hall.

I'm a damned fool. What was I thinking, bringing her here? A young, beautiful woman, alone on a sprawling ranch with a man near old enough to be her daddy. People will talk. I don’t give two fucks what they think of me.

But her .

My chest aches at the thought of anyone saying anything bad about her. She’s the most perfect angel in this world. She doesn't deserve that shame.

A creak of a floorboard makes me tense, hand tightening on my coffee mug. I turn to see Sam standing' in the doorway, wrapped in a quilt, hair tousled from her pillow. Even sleep-rumpled, she steals my breath.

"Couldn't sleep either?" She ventures softly, green eyes glimmering' in the low light.

I clear my throat, lookin' away. "Suppose not."

She pads closer on bare feet. "Colton, have I...have I done something to upset you?" Her voice trembles, making' my chest ache. "You've barely spoken to me in days. If you're regretting this arrangement, I can-"

"No," I cut her off gruffly, the thought of her leaving' panicking' me more than it should. "You ain't done nothin' wrong. It's not...it's me, alright?"

Her brow furrows. "I don't understand."

I exhale hard, rubbing a hand over my stubbled jaw. How can I make her see? Make her understand the battle raging' inside me?

“If you would just talk to me—” she begins.

"Dammit, Sam, I'm tryin' to protect you!" I slam my mug down, coffee sloshing over the rim. "Can't you see that?"

She flinches but doesn't back down, chin lifted, meet in' my glare head on. "I don't need your protection. I need you to be honest with me. To talk to me. Let me in, Colton. Please."

The plea in her voice undoes me. I feel myself cracking', defenses fallen'. Lord help me, but I want to. I want nothin' more than to let her in, to keep her, cherish her, love her like she deserves.

But I can't. If I ever take this curvy thing in my arms, it’s going to be no holds barred. I’ll turn into a fucking beast. I’ll rip her virginity to shreds. I’m assuming she’s a virgin because the thought of another man ever taking her drives me insane with jealousy. I can’t bear the thought of it.

And thinking of her pussy has me hard as steel and aching again.

"I think...I think you should go back to bed," I rasp, throat raw with pent up emotions. "We got an early mornin' tomorrow."

Her eyes swim with tears she refuses to let fall. "Is that really what you want? For me to go?"

I can't face her. Can't watch her cry knowing' I'm the cause. "It's for the best."

A shuddering breath escapes her. Then she's turning, fleeing the kitchen, the slamming of her bedroom door echoing through the silent house like a gunshot.

I slump back against the counter, head bowed, heart shattered. What have I done?

I sit in the kitchen for a long time, miserable at the thought of hurting Sam before the creak of the screen door snaps me out of my misery. I'm moving’ before I can think better of it, long strides eating up the distance to the porch. "Sam, wait!"

She's halfway down the steps, arms wrapped tight around herself like she's holding' herself together. The sight of her—so small, so broken—tears me apart.

"Leave me alone, Colton," she throws over her shoulder, voice thick with tears.

I catch her arm, spinning her to face me. "I can't."

"Why?" she demands, green eyes flashing with a mix of anger and confusion. "You've made it perfectly clear you don't want me here."

"That's not true." The words come out low and fierce, surprising us both with their intensity.

She searches my face, lookin' for the lie. "Then what is it? Because I don't understand. One minute you're kind to me, treating me like I matter, and the next you're pushing me away."

I cup her face, thumbs brushing away the tears she couldn't hold back any longer. "You do matter, darlin'. More than you know."

"Then why-"

I bring my lips close to hers.

So close. So fucking close. I’m dying to taste her.

But I somehow muster up every ounce of restraint I have and rasp, “Go back to bed. We’re both tired and cranky after a long day.”

She looks like she might argue, but maybe she sees the tension in my body, the way my arms are trembling with the effort it takes me to keep from ravishing her right here and now.

She swallows and turns to obey wordlessly.

As soon as I hear her door shut, I growl in frustration and pull my aching cock from my pants, beating it furiously like a crazed animal.

Sam

I lean against my closed bedroom door, heart pounding, mind reeling. What just happened out there? The way Colton looked at me, touched me...I felt it down to my very soul. The heat, the longing, the desire barely restrained.

But why? Why pull me close only to push me away again? I don't understand him. One moment he's gazing at me like I'm the only woman in the world, the next he's shutting me out cold.

Frustrated tears burn my eyes as I slump down to the floor, hugging my knees to my chest. Is it me? Is there something wrong with me that he finds so repulsive?

I thought...I thought we had a connection. That maybe, just maybe, he could come to care for me the way I'm starting to care for him, despite my best intentions.

But apparently I'm a fool. A naive little girl with her head in the clouds, chasing dreams that will never come true.

Shame and embarrassment choke me. I never should have come here. Never should have signed up for that ridiculous mail-order bride service. What was I thinking?

That a rough, rugged cowboy like Colton could ever truly want a soft, inexperienced thing like me? I press my face into my hands, shoulders shaking with silent sobs.

I should leave. First thing in the morning, I should pack my meager belongings and go. Spare us both any further humiliation. He's made it clear he doesn't want me here, doesn't want me . Staying will only lead to more heartache.

But where would I go? I have nothing and no one to return to. This ranch, this marriage...it was my last hope. Without it, I'm lost. Adrift.

Alone.

The thought sends a fresh wave of despair crashing over me. I curl into myself tighter, trying to hold the broken pieces of my heart together.