Chapter 6

Jake

The moonlight filtering through the window catches in Lily's blonde hair as she leans against my shoulder, her soft curves pressing into my side. I stare out at the night sky, trying to ignore the heat of her body and focus on the stars. But it's impossible.

"Do you ever wonder what else is out there?" Lily asks, her voice barely above a whisper. "If there's more to life than...this?"

She gestures vaguely at the quiet street. I know what she means though. This town, these routines.

She shakes her head and chuckles, "But of course you know. You've traveled and seen some of the world as a Marine."

I shrug. "Nothing is as good as being back here," I murmur.

I risk a glance down at her. Lily's blue eyes shine in the dim light, full of dreams she's never shared with anyone else. Anyone but me.

My heart pounds against my ribs. I could tell her. I could say that I wonder about a life with her, about holding her, loving her. The words rise in my throat.

"Lily, I..."

She turns to me, lips parted. I'm drowning in the endless blue of her eyes.

"I think maybe we're meant for bigger things sometimes," I say instead. A coward to the end.

Lily nods, unaware of my racing pulse. "I want that. Adventure. Romance. I want to fall in love so deeply it consumes me."

I clench my hands into fists. I want to consume her, to brand her as mine and never let her go.

"You'll have that someday," I manage to get out.

She smiles, and it's radiant. I'd go to war all over again to keep that smile on her face.

"Speaking of romance," Lily says, "I have to tell you about this date I went on last week!"

And just like that, the moment fractures. She gushes about some guy who took her to dinner, and I make the right noises at the right times. All the while, I'm trapped in the prison of my own making.

And all I can wonder is if she's still a virgin.

My hands ball into fists at the thought of someone else touching her.

So close to what I want most, and still so far. With Lily warm against my side, smelling like sunshine incarnate, her voice washing over me as she shares her excitement over another man.

Slowly, silently, I bleed.