Chapter 2

Jake

I watch as Lily laughs with her date across the bar, his hand resting casually on her thigh. The sight makes my blood boil. I clutch my beer bottle so hard my knuckles turn white.

My heart clenches painfully in my chest, suffocating me from the inside out. I love her so damn much. Have since we were just kids playing in her backyard. But I'm a coward—too afraid to tell her how I really feel. To risk losing even the simple pleasure of her friendship if she rejects me.

Lily throws her head back, blonde curls cascading down her back as she laughs at something he said. Her blue eyes sparkle with joy. God, she's so beautiful it hurts to look at her sometimes. I want to pull her into my arms and never let go. To finally confess the depths of my feelings, consequences be damned.

But I remain frozen in place, the words lodged in my throat. Some man I am, too chickenshit to tell the woman I love how I feel.

Her date's hand slides higher up her thigh and something in me snaps. White hot jealousy rips through me like a bullet. I can't do this anymore. Can't sit back and watch her fall for someone else over and over while I pine away in the shadows like a lovesick fool.

I abruptly get up from my stool, legs unsteady. I have to get out of here before I do something stupid like punch that douchebag in the face. Or finally blurt out my feelings to Lily in a jealous, drunken confession.

No, what I need is a real escape. A fresh start, far away from here.

Far away from her . Just the thought makes my heart ache, but I know what I have to do.

With grim determination, I walk out of the bar and don't look back.

Tomorrow, I'm going to the recruitment office and signing up for the marines. I can't stay in this town a minute longer watching the woman I love move on without me. It's time I move on too.

The sun beats down on my neck as I make my way up Lily's driveway, each step heavier than the last. My duffel bag feels like it weighs a ton, but it's nothing compared to the weight in my chest.

I raise my hand to knock, but the door swings open before I can.

And there she is. Lily. My best friend. The love of my life. The one I'm leaving behind.

"Jake..." She breathes my name, blue eyes already shimmering with unshed tears. "I can't believe you're really leaving."

I swallow hard, fighting to keep my own emotions in check. "Gotta do what I gotta do, Lil."

She nods, worrying her bottom lip between her teeth. A habit she's always had when she's upset or anxious. I want so badly to reach out and smooth away the furrow between her brows. To pull her into my arms and never let go.

But I don't. I can't . Not if I want to keep my resolve and walk away.

"I'm proud of you, you know," she says softly, reaching out to straighten the collar of my uniform. Her fingers linger and my breath hitches. "You're so brave, Jake. You're going to make an amazing Marine."

I'm not brave , I want to tell her. I'm a coward. I'm running away from my feelings for you. From the possibility of you rejecting me and losing you forever.

"Thanks, Lil," I manage to choke out instead. "That means a lot."

She bites her lip again, harder this time. "Promise me you'll be careful over there? That you'll come back home to me?"

To me . The words slam into my chest like a freight train. If only she knew how much I wish I was coming home to her in the way I really want.

"I promise," I vow solemnly, even as my heart cracks a little further. I'll always come back to her, even if it's just as her friend. Having a piece of Lily is better than not having her at all.

Unable to resist any longer, I drop my bag and pull her into a tight hug. She melts against me instantly, arms winding around my neck as she buries her face in my shoulder. I breathe her in deep, memorizing the sweet scent of her shampoo and the warm press of her curves. Committing every detail to memory to take with me.

"I'm going to miss you so much," she whispers brokenly against my neck, dampness seeping into my skin from her tears.

I squeeze my eyes shut against the hot sting of my own. "I'll miss you too, Lil. More than you know."

We cling to each other desperately, as if we could stop time and stay in this moment forever if we just hold on tight enough. My heart pounds against hers and I wonder if she can feel it. If she knows it only beats for her.

But all too soon, she's pulling back, swiping at her wet cheeks. I reluctantly let her go, even as every fiber of my being protests the loss of contact.

This is it. The moment I've been simultaneously dreading and anticipating. My chance to finally lay it all on the line. To tell her that I love her, that I've always loved her. That she's the reason I breathe, the reason my heart beats.

I open my mouth...and nothing comes out. I'm choked by fear, paralyzed by the possibility of losing her.

"Well, I guess this is goodbye for now," Lily says with a wobbly smile, unknowingly shattering the moment. "Promise you'll write to me?"

"I promise," I rasp, the unspoken words burning like acid in my throat.

She raises up on her toes and brushes a soft kiss to my cheek. It sears into my skin like a brand. "Goodbye, Jake. Stay safe."

"Goodbye, Lily."

With monumental effort, I force myself to pick up my bag and walk away from the only home I've ever known. The only woman I'll ever love.

I don't let myself look back, blinking furiously against the hot tears blurring my vision. Each step away from her carves another piece out of my heart, but I keep going.

As I climb into my truck, I glance up at the charm hanging from my rearview mirror. A little silver lily flower. Lily gave it to me years ago. My flower. I reach up and touch it reverently, the metal warmed by the sun.

"I love you, Lily," I whisper to the empty cab, the words tearing out of me. "I'll always love you."

Then I put the truck in drive and force myself to leave her behind. But even as the distance grows between us, I know she'll never be far from my mind or my heart.

I'm hers, whether she knows it or not. And I always will be.