26. Freya

Seconds pass where we just stare at each other. Matt's eyes flick to the tests and back to me, his mouth dropping open in shock and horror. There's no way I can pretend that this is anything other than what it is.

At last, I burst into tears.

"Hey," says Matt, alarmed. He rushes to wrap his arms around me, and I sink into his embrace, a sob welling out of my chest.

I'm not sure how long we sit there for, Matt gently stroking my back and shushing me as I weep into his shoulder. All of the stress of the last week is uncoiling in the form of uncontrollable sobs, and there's nothing I can do to hold back the tide. All this time, I've tried to never show Matt weakness, to be strong and sturdy for him. To be someone he can always rely on, no matter what.

I guess I must have done a pretty good job, because I can't think of anyone's comfort I could want more in this moment than his. Despite the sense of panic I can feel emanating from him, he just sits with me. He doesn't say anything, just sits with me until finally the great waves of emotion shrink into smaller ripples and allow me to move again. I wipe my snotty nose on my sleeve. "I'm sorry," I sniff.

"What for?"

"I've gone and done something stupid, and now I'm going to ruin both of our lives — and it's all because I've been too stupid not to see what was happening right in front of me."

"No, Freya!" says Matt, squeezing me. "You're the best person I know."

I let out a loud, watery laugh, my eyes stinging and my chest aching. "I wish I hadn't broken up with Jackson," I whisper, the confession welling out of me. "I'm pregnant with his baby, and I ran away from him — and I've let everyone down."

"No, you haven't," Matt insists, and his sweet innocence makes more tears flow. He's such a good kid. He deserves everything in the world. "I've got something to tell you."

"What?" I sniffle, swallowing hard. Here was me thinking I was the only one with the big confession today. Has he been keeping secrets from me too?

What a mess this all is.

He hesitates like he doesn't know how I'm going to take it, then says, "Jackson called just now."

"Jackson?" I splutter. "Why?"

"Because he's worried about you. Because you haven't replied to any of his messages and he wants to talk to you."

"I don't want to talk to him."

The idea of Matt and Jackson talking behind my back makes ice freeze in my blood. I knew they got on, but I didn't realize they were that close. It's definitely a miracle that Matt doesn't hate me for all this.

"I know," he says gently, stroking my hair. "I'm not saying you have to. He hurt you. You don't have to forgive him if you don't want to. But you're clearly still hung up on him. And he wants to apologize to you for not being there for you when he should have been."

"He wants to what?" I yell, more loudly that I mean to.

Matt chuckles. "I know — I couldn't believe it either. But that's what he said. He wants to say sorry. I think he's been doing some soul-searching, so maybe it's worth hearing him out. You don't have to commit to anything. And if he hasn't changed, well, you can just ignore him again. You need someone who's going to look after you, Frey. Don't waste your time on anything else. You've looked after everyone else for so long. I want you to have someone who's there for you without question."

A noise that's half sob, half laugh escapes me. "Who let you be such a wise and good kid?"

"You did," he says with a wry grin I recognize from my own face.

"I'm glad you don't think I'm a total screw-up," I say, adjusting myself to hug him tightly in return. "You know, even if this doesn't work out between me and him, you should still go to the game. I don't want you to feel like you can't.

"Believe me," I'm planning to," Matt says, grinning.

"Good." I breathe a sigh of relief, the tightness in my chest releasing its grasp a little more. "Anyway," I say, taking a deep breath and trying to shake myself back into some order despite my puffy eyes and croaking voice. "How was your day today? Did you have fun at school?"

Matt raises an eyebrow hard on me. "I don't think school and fun will ever belong in the same sentence, but it was okay. It might be okay if you're like, a genius, but I just don't think school's for me. I'm not smart enough."

"Hey," I say firmly. "No putting yourself down like that. You've got a brain in there and everyone knows it. You weren't destined for science and math, that's all. There's way more out there than that, and grades don't prove anything. You know that."

"Yeah," he concedes. "I'm not sure I believe in destiny. Not usually, anyway."

"What does that mean?" I ask, pushing myself up.

He hops to his feet to help me and shrugs. "Dunno. Some things are definitely stupid and you make them up as you go along. But other things… I don't know. They feel like they're meant to be."