Chapter 1

Chapter One

Ten Months Ago

The wild winds that raced through the valley where the McLeod land sat twisted around Caiside, blowing her long, wavy, brown hair from side to side. A soft spray from the remnants of the storm that had just passed wetted Caiside's forehead, causing the wild strands of her hair to stick uncomfortably to her skin. She let out a deep sigh as she stood at the edge of the field, looking out over the lands that her father had once sewn by hand. The lands he had filled with friends, family, and clansfolk he raised up from the dreams of his father, and his forefathers.

Caiside had stood barefoot on that spot so often growing up that there was a bald patch in the grass. She didn't mind though, the warm wet soil felt good on her skin after her daily chores, her horseback ride, and the harshness of the stone floors inside the keep. She'd never complain though, despite the changes that had progressively increased in recent years, Caiside was treated like royalty. Her father had loved his little girl, and even when her mother argued for sewing lessons instead of healing lessons, or afternoon teas instead of romping through the fields, her father just laughed and eased her mother's concerns regarding teaching their daughter the proper way for her future husband and family.

With a dampened shaw and skirts, Caiside shivered in the wind, wrapping her arms across her chest. She kicked at the wet grasses as her feet meandered her toward the gardens without thought. Her bright icy blue eyes darted about the rows of herbs and flowers, happy to see the same crops had been planted that year as when her mother was in charge of them. However, her mind was restless, churning as she hesitantly glanced up every so often, finding her uncle's horse, and the horse of his guard captain still sitting out front.

Laird Shamos McLeod Niall was a proud man, the youngest of the four McLeod brothers, and the only surviving one at that point. When he married, it was in the marriage contract he changed his surname to Niall, to run Clan Niall when his wife's father passed. From the stories that Caiside had heard during late nights when she would sneak down and listen in as her father would sit up drinking ale with his brother, he wasn't happy about the change. He would only agree if he were to keep his family name as well. It wasn't customary, but they agreed.

"A kind man," Caiside thought to herself. "Always bringin' presents, huggin' me so."

Caiside stopped in the center of the garden and pushed down the feeling of heartache with long controlled breaths. She whispered to herself as she stared at the horses perched out front. "He's always reminded me of me father, but now feels more like a ghost than a kin."

Shamos was there to speak to Caiside's brother, Lennox, the current Laird of the McLeod Clan. It still felt strange to Caiside to think of her older, snarky, overindulged brother as leader of the lands that had once been her father's. He had settled right in, which was no shocker to her. He had been raised, bred to be the future Laird, and she knew he relished the power and attention it gave him. Sometimes she wondered if he missed their father at all.

As a wee lass, whenever Uncle Shamos came to the keep, it was a special day. She would run into his arms, hugging him while she had the chance. Her mother would always usher her off with the other cousins after a few moments of attention, and the presentation of whatever sweets he had brought from his keep that time, but she was always so happy to see him, the eyes of a child not yet touched by the cruelty of life.

Thunder crackled and clapped in the distance sending a hot shot of electricity up Caiside's spine. The weather was so familiar, and not in a good way. Just two years before, her father was gearing up for their annual boar hunt, something the Laird did with his brother every year since they were barely men. That year though, Shamos' wife was due to give birth to their fourth child, and insisted Shamos not be far away. Seeing as Lennox had reached beyond the years for his first hunt, Caiside's father took him out as a rite of passage, a bonding.

The sweet smell of mint wafted through the air, a smell she used to find so comforting. Her mother always smelled of fresh mint, and it soothed Caiside as a child. Now, it brought back so many memories that she wished she could pluck from her brow. She hugged herself tighter and turned away from the keep, shutting her eyes. More thunder rolled in the distance, and Caiside's body trembled as she felt herself being swept back into her own dark thoughts.

It was the day of the hunt. The women of the keep cooked, baked, and prepared for Caiside's father, brother, and the other members of the clan that had gone on the hunt to return. She could smell the fresh meat stew cooking as she sat in the library, reading a book her healing teacher had given her to study. The feast after the hunt was always an exciting time in the castle. The men would return brimming with masculine energy, dragging the boar back to be tended to by the butcher. They would gather in the hall for ale and stew, fresh bread, and highly embellished stories of their time in the forest.

Caiside never found the idea of a boar hunt appealing, but she couldn't help sitting and chuckling at the wildly told stories her father brought back. It was as if they had gone to battle with a wild fantastical clan of creatures, fighting for their lives, not just their supper. That year, she was especially excited to see how her brother fared. He wasn't necessarily the woodsman type, and had taken full advantage of the title that came with being the Laird's son, at least in all social capacities. She was quite looking forward to teasing him about it.

"Caiside," her mother had snipped, standing in the doorway to the library. "Put the book away fer tonight, lass. The men will be back soon as the sun sets, and the stew's hot and bubblin'. I want ye to greet yer father and brother like ye normally do."

Caiside groaned, feeling the pulling angst of that strange time between child and woman, where her place was still uncertain, and her future nothing but a vision in her mind. "Father will be too excited to care if I'm there to greet ‘em. Besides, let Lennox have his moment in the sun. He likes the attention."

Her mother put her hands on her curvy hips, narrowing her green eyes. Her red hair was pulled back in a loose knot, several pieces fluttering down into her face. "Caiside McLeod, yer father lives and breathes by ye. Just this mornin' he said it might be yer last greet, as who knows what womanhood will bring; ye just might be greetin' a husband next time."

Caiside shook her head, shutting her book. "Ye don't have to threaten me. I'll come along."

Her mother smirked, shaking her head as Caiside walked past, flashing her a sarcastic smile. As they turned the corner, Caiside's governess nodded. "We see the approachin' horses. We'll be in the hall waitin fer ye."

With a small girlish giggle, Caiside's mother untied her apron and set it on a standing table in the hall, brushing her hair back from her rosy cheeks. She looked over at her daughter and grinned, putting out her hand. Caiside couldn't help but chuckle, taking her mother's hand. "Ye act like ye didn't see the big oaf just this mornin'."

Caiside never understood the change that came over her mother when her father was returning from a trip or hunt. The two had a stronger and more loving relationship than any other clan members she had grown up around. Secretly tucked away between the dreams of being a healer, and the bits and bobs of instructions her mother had taught her on being a Highland wife, Caiside hoped that whoever she married would look at her the way her father still looked at her mother.

Caiside and her mother gleefully raced toward the front of the keep. She could still hear her feet slapping against the stone floors, her smile wide, unknowingly enjoying the last few moments of the life she once knew. As quick as the thunder crackling in the distance, everything changed. Her memory of the next few moments had slowed to an unnatural speed in her mind. As her mother and she hurried into the entryway, the double doors flew open, wind whipping through the keep.

Both Caiside and her mother slowed to a stop, watching Lennox as he stepped through into the flickering lamp light of the castle. His hair was down and disheveled, his tunic torn, and blood covered both arms from elbow to fingertip. He breathed heavily, the dim dusk light glowing an ominous red behind him. His once bright eyes were black, as if his soul had escaped right out of them.

Caiside could still feel her mother's hand release from her own, watching the fabric of her mother's skirt flutter behind her as she ran toward Lennox, cupping his face in her hands. "Where is yer father, Lennox? What has happened?"

Lennox slowly looked up, a single tear running through the blood smeared on his cheek. He said nothing, only turned to the side and pointed out the door toward the lawn. While Lady McLeod raced off to the silhouette of a man lying motionless in the grass, Caiside took slow strides, part of her hoping she never reached them. She thought perhaps if she never saw her father there on the grass, never realized the death in front of her, it wouldn't be true. But his body only grew closer with every step, and with just feet to go to reach him, her mother hunched over him, wailing in anguish. The young Caiside had simply dropped to her knees, staring up at the clearing night sky as a raindrop fell from the heavens, triggering her flood of tears.

"M'lady," a servant said, softly touching Caiside's arm.

Caiside jumped, opening her eyes again, finding herself still standing amongst the mint and herbs, unsure of how long she had actually been standing still. In reality, it felt like many years. Caiside cleared her throat, wiping the tear from her cheek before turning to face the servant. "Yes. I'm sorry. I didn't hear you walk up."

The servant averted her eyes, obviously having noticed Caiside was deep in thought. "Pardon, M'Lady, but a storm's comin' in again, and I thought ye might want to come in and prepare fer supper before ye get drenched."

Caiside, swallowing back the pain, nodded, glancing up at her uncle's horse. Every day since her father died and her brother became Laird, had been torture. There never seemed to be light around the keep anymore, and her brother's thirst for power had turned him even further into a tyrant. She hated being around him.

"Are ye alright?" Caiside's maid asked, giving a slight comforting smile.

Caiside nodded, smiling back at her. "I am. I was just thinkin' of my father."

The maid folded her hands and nodded empathetically. "I'm sure it's of great comfort to think of him. We all miss him so very much. I know I haven't been assigned to ye very long, not like yer governess w as, but I'm a good listener if ye need one."

Caiside reached out and took the young maid's hand, trying to shake off the look of pain from her face. "I so appreciate it. I'll be okay."

Caiside spoke the words, but she wasn't confident in them at all. The heartache that lurched in her chest on a daily basis was oftentimes intolerable, but the three people she trusted without a doubt were gone. She wasn't sure she'd ever be ready for a friendship with anyone else again. Just six months after they buried Caiside's father, her mother, who had stayed in mourning, locked away in her chambers, decided to take a trip to her sister's. She needed space, and she wasn't in any shape to help Lennox, not that he would have taken her help anyway. Lennox had ordered both Caiside's governess and her mother's maid to escort her there, but told Caiside she had to stay behind.

Every blush of mint that touched Caiside's nose made her think of the moment they received the news of her mother's and her governess' deaths. It was said they were robbed and murdered on the way to her aunt's, the bodies discovered by a local farmer traveling the roads. They never found the men who did it. Caiside missed her mother, but she missed her governess something terrible. She had been with Caiside since birth, and essentially raised her, especially in the months following her father's death.

So there Caiside was, trapped in a home that no longer felt familiar; alone, with everyone she ever truly cared for gone.

Well, almost everyone.

As Caiside made her way toward the castle entrance, the door opened and a tall, muscular man stepped out, adjusting the sword on his side. His long black hair was pulled into a ponytail, and his jaw clenched just enough to tell when he looked up at Caiside with his entrancing eyes.

"Captain," Caiside's maid said, nodding as she passed by him.

He nodded back.

Caiside nodded as well. "Lorcan."

He didn't respond back, but Caiside could feel his eyes, one blue and one brown, staring at her as she walked by. Caiside looked up, hoping to catch that gaze, but as soon as she did, he looked away. A familiar trickle of disappointment flooded her again, as it always did with Lorcan, but she didn't stop, she just continued up the steps and into the keep.

"Yer brother and uncle are in the study," the maid said.

"Right," Caiside murmured. "I should probably say hello and ask my uncle to supper."

With puffed out cheeks and breath held in her chest, Caiside reluctantly turned the other direction, heading down the long, cold hallway where the study sat. She glanced at the paintings hanging on the walls as she walked. Each of them was covered with a black cloth, put there at the time of her father's death, and never removed. She paused halfway down the hall, seeing the golden glimmer of the frame that held her family's painted portrait. She stared at the black dusty cloth covering it, longing to remember happier days. As she reached for the cloth, the sound of voices echoed down the empty stone passage. Her hand stopped, and she looked toward the study, her brow furrowed.

The voices continued, and she recognized them as her brother's and uncle's, only they were far from joyful. In fact, she could hear the sheer anger in her brother's tone. They were arguing, and Caiside knew if her brother had the gull to raise his voice to his own uncle, something was seriously wrong. So wrong, in fact, the coldness of the castle burrowed further into her bones, sending ominous vibrations through her.