Chapter 7

Chapter 7

They kept their pace going for a few hours until it was clear that they were free of McFerguson lands. Deirdre insisted they stop by a small brook for a very short time to feed and water the horses, and then they were on their way again, at a much more leisurely pace. They rode side by side, and now at last they were able to talk.

"Where exactly are we goin'?" she asked him.

"Me family are part of the Brennan clan," he told her. "I'm takin' ye tae me home there. Unless, of course, ye want tae turn back now."

It was like thunder had clapped in the sky above her. Brennan! They were going to the Brennan lands? God himself could not have handed her a better opportunity. This was a sign, she was sure of it, one that she was doing the right thing after all. She was not running away from her family and her duty: she was taking the opportunity to do what she'd hoped for all along, and find out the truth.

All the doubt in her washed away. She'd only be gone two weeks or so at most. After that, well, perhaps she could introduce Ciaran to her family, bring him into the safety of James's clan before the people in his own ended up in a war fighting for Bram. Or maybe, just maybe, her interference would make none of that necessary at all.

"What does yer father do there?" she asked him. "Since ye're travelin' all the time. I suppose he's a farmer?"

"He spends a lot of time on the lands," Ciaran said, which Deirdre took as an agreement. "But let's not speak of him for now. We've a long journey ahead, it may take us the best part of four days tae get there. Are ye prepared for such travellin'?"

She laughed a little weakly. "I'm exhausted," she admitted, "But never mind. Let's ride until we can't anymore, and worry about it then."

He gave her a brief smile, one that made the storm in his eyes brighten like the sun was shining through. "Well, we'll go a bit longer, and then how about we find somewhere tae stop for a while and just talk? I ken it's not very exciting, but I'd like tae get tae ken ye a bit better."

Deirdre nodded eagerly. "Let's find a wee loch or a river, a big one that's good enough for us tae swim. It's such hot weather, and it's been so long since I got freedom in the water. Me big sister Jocelyn loves it, and she passed it on tae me."

Ciaran raised an eyebrow at her, then turned away to help guide his horse through a slightly tricky patch of ground. "Ye'd go swimmin' with a total stranger? And a man, no less?"

Laughing, Deirdre said, "Ye ken, I think ye get tae skip the title of 'stranger' once ye save a lassie's life." She urged Cider onward, eager to keep pace.

"Aye? And what about the title of 'man'?"

Deirdre thought about it for a moment. What would Ciaran look like, she wondered, stripped down to his smallclothes and splashing in the water? She imagined he must be very muscled under those clothes. He didn't have the build of a soldier, but she knew from his actions that he had strength; he must carry a fine tone on his chest and stomach. What would it be like to swim alongside him, glistening in the water?

The thought was enough to make her feel a little lightheaded, and she clung a bit more tightly to Cider's reins as they continued. "Well," she said daringly, "Perhaps it's time I knew the difference more closely."

Ciaran laughed long and loud at that, startling some of the birds in the trees. It was well into morning now, and even though Deirdre knew that she should sleep, she wasn't sure that she could if she tried anyway.

"Well," he told her, "I would never have expected ye tae be quite so…adventurous, Deirdre."

"Improper, ye mean," she said with a grin. "I'm nae English princess, Ciaran. I've got the wildness of the Highlands in me veins."

"Aye," he agreed. He was a little ahead of her now on his horse, and she couldn't see his face. "Aye, I'm beginnin' tae see that for meself."

"Is that a bad thing?"

"No. Just complicated."

Deirdre frowned. Had she misheard him? "Complicated? Complicated how?"

There was a pause for a moment, then Ciaran said, "Come on, I bet yer horse can't catch me!" And without even waiting, he set off at a gallop.

Deirdre gasped, then grinned, urging Cider ahead, her unanswered question slipping from her mind. It was a race he wanted, wasn't it? Well, they'd soon see who won!

"Don't ye underestimate me!" she shouted as she sped ahead.

Ciaran's words whipped back to her in the wind. She could barely hear them, but they sounded like, " Never ."

Aoife mopped her face, trying to remove the tears before anyone could see. Her sisters and brothers-in-law were currently talking together in James's private rooms, urgently discussing the missing youngest sister, but Aoife had elected not to join them. She could not shake the feeling she'd be more than useless—actually, in her heart, she believed that it was her fault that Deirdre was nowhere to be found.

If only I'd been nicer tae her. If only I'd listened or taken her seriously. These were the words that were echoing around Aoife's head every moment since she'd heard the news upon waking this morning. Deirdre had been ignored and left the castle and nearly died as a result—what had Aoife been thinking, continuing to ignore her the next day?

"I was supposed tae be yer closest ally, not yer enemy," Aoife whispered into the air, praying against hope that somehow Deirdre would hear her. "Can ye ever forgive me?"

Of course, neither Jocelyn nor Blair saw things that way. They were equally worried about Deirdre, but neither believed her disappearance was due to their actions. In fact, they both seemed very angry with her. It was fair, but Aoife couldn't feel it, not anymore. It was different for the older sisters, who'd always been closest to each other, always been the caretakers. For so long, it had simply been Aoife and Deirdre against the world, until Aoife had turned away from it.

"May I sit with ye?"

She started, letting out a little yelp of surprise. She was taking refuge in the library, far from anyone else at this time of day, and she hadn't noticed anyone enter the room. She looked up in surprise to see Liam, the guard, approaching her, a sympathetic smile on his face.

Hastily wiping her face again, hoping he didn't notice, she said, "I didn't expect tae see ye here. Not many of the soldiers and guards come tae the library in their spare time. Do ye like tae read?"

"I do," he told her with a smile. "As much as Lachlan does. Not like me friend Diarmid; he barely kens which way up tae hold a book." He chuckled, then his face relaxed into something a little more gentle. "But I must be honest with ye, I didn't come here for the stories today."

Aoife watched him, saying nothing, as he took a seat next to her on the comfortable reading couch. It was perhaps a little closer than they should have been sitting as two unmarried young people, but she found she enjoyed the comfort that his presence suddenly gave her against the coldness of the world and the gaping hole where her little sister should be.

"Then why are ye here?"

He put his hand on her arm. "I don't want tae intrude, Aoife, really—but I saw ye weepin', and I couldnae just leave ye alone. Send me away and I'll go, but I'd like tae keep ye company."

Aoife tried to refuse him, but what came out instead was, "I'd really appreciate the company today. Do ye…have ye any news?"

He shook his head. "I'm sorry, we don't. Lachlan left a half hour ago tae join the search, and most of the men are fanned out lookin' for her. Nobody at the market reports havin' seen her last night, and there's no sign in the castle town either. Me and a few of the others agreed tae stay back tae mind the castle, but most of the men are out lookin' for yer sister now."

"Lachlan left too?" That was a surprise. She'd assumed that Lachlan would want to stay by Jocelyn's side; she'd thought he was in the room with the rest of them. But then, now that she thought about it, it made sense. Lachlan had never been the type to sit back and do nothing.

"Aye, and Jocelyn nearly went with him. Fiery lass, that sister of yers," Liam told her. "But the Laird convinced both his wife and Jocelyn that the bairns needed them here. The Laird remained as well, if ye want tae see him."

Aoife nodded. That made sense, James couldn't just leave the keep in the middle of war to look for his wayward sister-in-law, no matter how much he wanted to. She found tears coming to her eyes again.

"They'll find her," Liam promised her gently. "I can see ye're upset, and I understand, but I swear they'll find her."

She didn't bother to hide her tears now. "How can ye be sure?" she asked, a sob in her voice as she spoke. "What if she's hurt? Or worse? I'll never forgive meself if she's gone and the last thing I did was treat her poorly."

"Aoife—"

"Ye don't understand. Ye can't. Deirdre and I, we've always been the closest, and I pulled away frae her. I was sick and tired of it all, of this war, of me so-called duty, and I just wanted out. And when she tried tae explain tae me how it was hurtin' her, I just ignored her—ridiculed her!" Aoife buried her face in her hands. "I'm an awful sister. Whatever's happened tae her is me own fault."

A small part of her could not believe how open and raw she was being about her internal thoughts to this simple guardsman. Usually, she was the best of them all at controlling and hiding her emotions, behaving like a proper 'lady'—it was something she'd always prided herself on, and only more so as she'd grown. She'd never open up to anyone like this outside of her sisters; even in her letters to her betrothed, she only spoke of brightness.

Would William understand, if he was here now instead of this guard? Would he listen to her, comfort her, or would he recoil in disgust? Her stomach tightened to think that soon she would be someone's wife, someone she didn't even know. Hadn't that been Deirdre's point all along? Oh, if only her sister was here now to help her understand her own treacherous heart!

Suddenly, there was an arm around her shoulders, and to her shock she found herself gently pulled into a side-hug, her head resting on Liam's shoulder, his arm securely around her.

"Forgive me if I'm bein' too forward," he told her quietly, "But ye looked like ye needed the comfort. I can't do much for ye, much as I would like tae—but I want ye tae ken that I hear ye, and I understand. I think ye're wrong that yer sister's disappearance is yer own fault, but I also think ye need tae feel yer sorrow. Allow yerself tae weep if ye need tae."

Overwhelmed by a sudden rush of confused gratitude and continued sorry, Aoife's quiet sobs turned into full-out tears. She turned into the embrace, her head resting on his chest, her arm around his waist, and he held her close, stroking her hair calmingly and muttering soothing words as she cried.

She didn't know what any of this meant, or if she should be behaving this way, or even what would happen next. All she knew was that she needed someone right now, and Liam, here and now, was acting as that someone.

Marriage. Ladyship. Propriety. None of it seemed to matter anymore, not when Deirdre was gone. And so Aoife cried, and allowed herself to be comforted, and prayed silently that her sister would return home safe.

It was making its way toward sunset when they found the small river indent, tucked away behind some rocks, with a thin waterfall trickling down a rocky cliff-face into it. The water sparkled in the afternoon light like a secret fairy pool from one of the stories, and the pine trees that grew tall and thick around it gave the whole picture the idea of magic and secrecy.

Deirdre let out a cry of joy at the sight, and Ciaran laughed, agreeing that they could stop for a while to eat and rest, and, yes, swim. They set the horses up with food and access to some water, then Ciaran unpacked some food for them.

They sat at the shore, their bare feet dipped in the translucent water, chewing on their bread and cheese and watching the birds fly high in the air above them.

"That was a buzzard," Ciaran told her, pointing up to where a dark shape had just flown across the sky. "Do ye ken them?"

"Not really." Deirdre was a little embarrassed to admit it. "I've never in me life had the freedom tae explore the world, not really. So I don't know much about the wildlife, even here in the Highlands. I could have told ye only that it was a bird, and a predator bird as well, aye?"

Ciaran didn't laugh at her, which Deirdre appreciated. He just nodded. "Aye, that's right. They're slow, not like an eagle or anythin' of the sort. Buzzards don't catch much when they're flyin'. The real danger comes in their patience."

"How so?" Deirdre asked, fascinated.

"They'll sit in a tree for hours, camouflaged, just waitin'. They ken that sooner or later, their prey will come by—and that's when they strike. The wee mouse or squirrel doesn't stand a chance. By the time it realizes what's happenin', it's already too late." Ciaran spoke with enthusiasm, obviously a keen student of the subject, but his voice abruptly grew a little more strained at the end. He cleared his throat with a cough, and Deirdre dismissed it as nothing more than that.

She shivered. "Poor mouse. She must think she's safe, when all along, the predator is just around the corner."

Ciaran nodded, saying nothing, just taking another bite of his food.

As they ate, Deirdre's mind drifted to her family. They must be worried about her by now; it was perhaps five or six in the afternoon. Just a few more hours and it would be a whole day since they'd seen her. A little guilt snaked into her thoughts, but she crushed it in an instant. After all, who said they were worried?

"Me family is probably gloatin' just now," she said out loud, pushing all the hurt and confusion she'd felt over the last months into her tone. "The wee miscreant that I am, and now I've gone missin' as well. They're likely furious."

"Let them be furious." Ciaran withdrew the remainder of their wine from the night before from his bag and poured them both a cup. "Whether they like it or not, ye're a woman who can make her own decisions."

Those words heartened Deirdre. They'd been the exact words that she needed to hear, and she found her affection toward Ciaran growing tenfold as a result. He really did understand her. In fact, he understood her more in the short time they'd known each other than her sisters had come to understand her in eighteen whole years.

"They treat me like I'm nothin' but trouble. Aoife thinks she's better than me, and both Jocelyn and Blair see me as naught but the wee spoiled bairn I used tae be." Deirdre frowned. "I don't understand why I can't get through to them. I can't understand why they can't see me for who I am."

Suddenly, Ciaran leaned over and kissed her. It was a soft, deep kiss, slow and sensual, and it made Deirdre's whole body tingle, the upset fog filling her dispersing almost immediately. She leaned into it, inhaling the scent of him, unable to believe this was real.

When the kiss finished, he playfully pecked a kiss on her nose too before moving back. "I see ye," he said. "All of ye. And it's the most bonny picture any man has ever seen."

Deirdre's heart pounded, so strongly that it was almost painful, and then she lept to her feet, holding out her hand. "Come on, then," she said. "Quickly, before the sun goes and takes all the heat of the day with it."

"We're really goin' tae swim, then?" Ciaran asked with an easy laugh, looking up at her with gentle amusement on his face.

She gestured with her hand again, imploring him to take it. "Of course we are!" she said. "Why would ye think otherwise?"

"Well…"

"Come on! Ye'll keep on yer smallclothes, and I'll wear me shift. It'll be perfectly decent, if that's what ye're worried about."

He took her hand, laughing, and got to his feet beside her. "All right, all right," he agreed. "Do ye want me tae turn me back as ye change?"

It was silly, since she was just stripping down, but she nodded anyway. Obediently, Ciaran turned his back, and Deirdre wriggled out of her dress, removing the pins from her hair, and stood there in only her shift. She realized a little too late how thin it was—would it hold transparency in the water? She hoped so, but even if the answer was no, she was determined that she wouldn't back down now.

Ciaran was still undressing himself when she turned back around, and the sight of his bare back made Deirdre's breath catch in her throat. The shadows of the sinking sun highlighted the strong muscles of his shoulder blades and the smoothness of his skin, and her fingertips ached with a curious longing. How would it feel to touch him, supple but strong, smooth under her skin? He did not have a very hairy back like many of the men she'd seen working in the summer; he was something else entirely, its light tan a sharp contrast to his dark hair.

Me dark fae prince. Me crow of the night. Deirdre knew she would be mocked relentlessly if her sisters heard her spout such poetic fancies, but she didn't care. In fact, as he turned to face her, his storm-blue eyes intoxicating and inviting, her sisters were the furthest thing from her mind now.

He took her in, his eyes exploring her body with a kind of hunger she'd never seen directed at her. Was that how she had looked, examining him? Probably. She didn't feel embarrassed or exposed as she thought she might.

He saw her. And she liked it.

"Well?" he asked. "Ready?"

She nodded, taking a breath to settle her erratic heartbeat. "Ready," she agreed. Without further ado, she hurried to the water, clambering up on the rocks and jumping in with a big splash . Shrieking and laughing from the cold, she surfaced, and a moment later he'd jumped in too, splashing her all over again.

"It's freezing!" she exclaimed, invigorated and delighted, despite still not having slept all these hours. "We'll catch our death!"

Ciaran laughed loudly and swam closer, closing the gap between them. His black hair was heavy with water, and it dripped onto his face and ran down his cheekbones in a way that simply magnified their magnificence. He wrapped one arm around her waist, pulling her effortlessly through the water and into another embrace, another kiss, and she surrendered to it with pleasure.

When the kiss was over, both of them floating in the water so close together, Ciaran said, "I'll tell ye somethin', Deirdre. Ye were right about the swimmin', but wrong about one thing."

"And what's that?"

He grinned at her. "Me thoughts are anythin' but perfectly decent right now."

Her body flushed, but she simply laughed. "Really? Well, ye'll have tae catch me first!" she declared, and dove under the water, swimming away quickly, her heart pounding with excitement as she heard him laugh too and give chase.

Yes, they saw each other. And for the moment, her sisters and the war seemed to belong to another life. For now, all there was was Deirdre and the water.

And Ciaran.