Chapter 5

Chapter Five

The morning was like many other mornings before it, bright and windy with a slight scent of fear floating across the wavering fields down into the cottages and huts that stretched through the valley around the keep. For Blair, however, the morning was anything but normal. It was anything but calm and collected, and her fear was at a fevered pitch. She didn't fear for her own safety, she had long ago given into the idea that each painless, quiet breath could quickly turn into one of pain and torment. In fact, for Blair, her morning brought a promise of safety for the first time since her father had died.

Blair's fears were far deeper, far more rooted inside of her soul. She feared for her sisters' safety in the coming days, weeks, months, and years. Preparing for her trip to her future husband's lands was mindless for her. Her uncle had been almost glad to get rid of his late brother's eldest daughter, instructing half the staff in the castle to pack her up, clean out her things, and send her on her way. However, her absence would leave an enormous hole in the lives of her sisters. Their protection made up every waking thought for Blair for so many years, and her absence from the grounds would make her all the more worried.

Finishing up her breakfast, Hannah walked quietly into the kitchen. She paused and glanced around before bowing her head slightly toward Blair. "If ye're 'bout done with yer breakfast, my Lady, the escort to yer…well…fer yer trip is just about ready to go. Yer uncle will be down shortly to see ye off. I know ye don't want tae keep him waitin'."

Blair took in a deep breath and nodded, turning to Hannah. "And my sisters?"

"Waitin' fer ye in Lady Jocelyn's chambers," she replied. "They weren't permitted to see ye off from the yards."

Blair smiled thankfully at Hannah. "No, 'spose not. Uncle doesn't much take to tears too fondly. Alright, I'll head over to them and will be out shortly."

Hannah bowed her head and stepped back, letting the eerie silence floating through the castle resume. Blair made her way from the servant quarters through the hallways, and down the empty wing of the castle. She paused momentarily at the familiar door to her former room, finding no reason to go in. It was already tended to, and would just remind her of her departure from the only home she had ever known.

Instead, Blair lifted her chin and pulled all the courage she could to the forefront. As she approached Jocelyn's room, she stopped and steadied herself. The girls had grown stone-like over the years, just as she had, and she hoped they would hold back the tears. It would only make things harder on her if she were to have to calm their emotions as well.

After a few moments, she reached for the doorknob and pushed the door open. Her three sisters were standing around, nervous, pacing the floor. They all stopped and looked up at her as she entered. Blair glanced around at each of them and cleared her throat. "It's 'bout that time. Uncle will be wantin' me down there any moment and I don't want to leave on a bad foot. It'll only make things harder on you."

Jocelyn opened her mouth to speak, but Blair shook her head. "Come on now, line up. Let me see ye one last time."

Deirdre stood up, her lip trembling, clutching her hands tightly. Blair brushed some dirt from her shoulder and took her hands, leaning down to her. "No tears, little rose. Ye're the explorer, but ye're not to test Uncle's remaining kindness. Ye keep yer head down and to yer chores. Ye have lots of time when ye're old enough to go explorin'. Ye hear me?"

Deirdre sucked in a shaky breath and nodded. She lunged forward and wrapped her arms around Blair's waist, hugging her tightly. Blair ran her hand down Deirdre's hair, knowing full well she was like a mother to her. She had been just a baby when their mother died. Blair had tended to her, kept her safe, and taught her how to conduct herself there at the castle. She had lived her whole life without ever remembering what living without fear was like.

"I'll miss you," she sniffled.

Blair knelt down and took Deirdre's shoulders. "Dry yer tears. All of ye. This isn't forever. I promise. Jocelyn will care for ye, and the staff will be watchin' out fer ye. Ye're a tiny thing, and can hide easily. Put away that pride I know ye have. When ye see yer cousin, ye hide. There's no shame in it. Keep out of sight and give no one reason to notice ye. One day, that bright light in ye will be able to shine, but for now, ye keep it inside. Understand?"

Deirdre pulled back and wiped the tears from her dirty cheeks, nodding. Blair nodded back and stood up, her attention turning to Aoife. "You've always been the most beautiful of ladies. Don't lose yer dreams of a prince. But don't let them get ye in trouble, either. Dream yer dreams at night, but in the daylight, keep yer plain skirts on, hair back in a bun, and don't be caught with rouge on yer cheeks. Understand? Hannah will be happy to show ye some work in the kitchens, away from the men. The women in there will keep ye safe. Help Jocelyn with Deirdre, and don't give her no trouble, understand?"

Aoife nodded hard. "Of course. Don't…" Aoife's voice trembled and she paused, getting a hold of herself. "Don't forget us here, sister."

Blair took Aoife's face in her hands and shook her head. "I could never forget you. I will be working every moment to get ye out of here. I promise. Even if ye don't hear from me, I'm thinkin' 'bout ye every night. We'll be lookin' at the same stars from our windows."

Blair leaned in and kissed Aoife. Her sister smiled and moved over to Deirdre, pulling her close to her side. Blair smiled at them and then turned to Jocelyn. She held a leather bound book in her hands, as she usually did, but her eyes were wild with fear, and her hands shook, clutched tight around the book cover. Blair took a deep breath and put her hand on Jocelyn's shoulder. "I'm given' ye charge now. You must keep these girls out of trouble. I taught ye best I could, to read and write like mother taught me. Make sure ye teach the girls as well, quietly of course."

"Of course," Jocelyn replied.

"If they try to starve ye, the staff will get ye food one way or another. If they throw ye in the dungeons, there will be those that will come to help. It might not be right away, as they have to be careful, but they will come fer ye. Protect yer sisters with yer life. Prepare Aoife fer when ye're married off, that is if I can't get all of ye out of here before then. Mind yer tongue, even when it's the hardest, and take cousin's lashings fer yer sisters if ye can."

Jocelyn nodded, her teeth almost chattering. "I will. You've taught me well. I will keep them safe, I promise. Here, I found this in the library, mother's library. It was sittin' on a shelf, shoved back behind some books."

Blair took the leather book from her. "What is it?"

"It's a storybook, I think," she replied. "But it's not. It's handwritten like a diary of sorts, but it mixes real people from the castle with magic and fairy tales."

Blair shook her head. "Then it must be special to ye. Keep it."

Jocelyn stepped toward Blair, pushing the book back to her. "In it, there's a story about an old wise woman, one with eyes as blue as the heavens. It talks about her here with father and mother. In there, it describes where she lived. It's off the path you'll likely be takin' to get to yer new home. She's tucked deep within the Pale Forest. I know ye always wanted to see her again. I know ye wanted some answers."

Blair looked down at the weathered book and gripped it to her chest, taking a deep breath. She looked at Jocelyn and then the others. "I'll take it as a keepsake from you, from our family, as it'll likely be destroyed if cousin finds it. But I am not going to look for the wise woman. I let that go long ago, and I don't want any of you even thinkin' of it. It'll only bring ye trouble and pain. The past is in the past and ye have to stay in the present to stay safe. That chapter is long closed."

"But…" Jocelyn said in protest.

Blair shook her head, cutting her off. "No buts. You've got a big responsibility here. This can only bring trouble. Ye understand?"

Jocelyn sighed, but nodded her head. Blair tucked the book into the waistband of her skirts, at her back. Her cloak flowed over her, concealing it. She put her arms out and the girls rushed in, hugging her tightly. Blair had to muster every bit of strength she had to keep the tears away. After a few seconds, she pulled back, nodding. "I've got to go now. I love you. I promise, I'll find a way."

Deirdre clung to Blair's hand, and Jocelyn had to pull the girl away to let Blair escape. She hurried from the room and closed the door, pausing and pressing her hand to her stomach as tears and sobs threatened to erupt. She closed her eyes and took long deep breaths, getting a hold of herself.

"Keep them safe, father. Watch over them, mother."

Deirdre could feel the book pressed to her back, and though she had told her sisters she had long since let the past go, she knew it was a lie. She thought about that woman every day, and dreamed about her almost every night. She knew it wasn't safe for her sisters to be preoccupied by thoughts of the wise woman or the past, but Blair couldn't help but feel pushed toward finding the old woman, if she was even still alive.

The old wise woman held the secrets and answers that Blair had longed to know. She was the key to the death of her father, and the resolution to the danger her and her sisters had been in, ever since that fateful stormy night. Blair feared, though, that with the passing of the years and no sign of the old woman, her answers had been taken to the grave. She didn't know what she was to do with the information her sister had given her, but there was something in the back of her mind whispering, guiding her to the truth. Whether she would ever find it, though, was a whole different story.