Chapter 12

Chapter 12

The sound of crickets chirping and frogs croaking blended with the cool breeze blowing through the cottage from the open window. The moon was casting a blue light through the cottage, basking everything in an ambient glow. Jocelyn lay on her pallet, Agatha having made them more comfortable than even Jocelyn's own bed back at the keep. Deirdre lay next to her and Aoife on the other side, both girls fast asleep. Agatha herself had retired to her own small bedroom after serving cakes and warm tea to the girls before bed. Jocelyn wasn't quite sure where Lachlan had lain down, but she knew he would be keeping an open eye on them nonetheless.

Even with the danger they had gone through, Jocelyn felt safe in Agatha's small bubble of a world within the forest. The smells of the garden wafted on the breeze, and Jocelyn feared she had indulged so much in stew and cakes that she wouldn't be able to run if she had to. She was thankful, though, knowing that her sisters needed an evening free of fears and toil more than anything. They needed full bellies, a warm fire, and a comfortable safe place. There was something that seemed almost magical about Agatha's cottage.

Still, lying there, the only one awake, Jocelyn couldn't help but think about everything that had happened. It was really the first time she even had the ability to stop and think about it. It was so overwhelming and in some respects felt like a story she had read, not one she had lived. The fears and worry, though… Those were very real.

They had escaped, something that Jocelyn had never actually thought would happen. She fully expected each of them to be married into servitude, managing varying degrees of abuse just slightly different than they were used to. But so far, they were free. She didn't even fully comprehend what that meant. They were free to go and do what they pleased, of course, once they were no longer being hunted. Jocelyn only knew about the world outside of her father's clan land from books and her sister's letters. She had no idea what she was supposed to do next. Sure, her sister would take them in, but then what next?

Would she get an option on what she wanted to do? Or would her sister's new husband trade her off to someone for marriage. Jocelyn didn't want that, but she knew that even if it were the case, her sister would make sure they were a good and kind match. Still, there were so many questions floating around in Jocelyn's mind. What if her cousin, Bram, found them? With Lachlan so weak, would he be able to save them?

And what would happen if he didn't find them, and instead waged war on her sister and her husband's clan? She didn't want to be the reason other people died. Jocelyn couldn't ever think of herself as important enough for perfect strangers to give their lives for. It bothered her enough that Lachlan was hurt saving them, she couldn't think about an entire clan.

Jocelyn, annoyed with the voice inside of her head, turned over in a huff, trying to get comfortable. At that point, she wanted sleep to find her, for no other reason than to quiet her own brain. It was amazing to her how in a room so silent, she could still feel overwhelmed by the noise in her brain. After several moments of tossing and turning, Jocelyn slowly pulled back the blanket and carefully stood, not wanting to interrupt her sisters.

She tiptoed barefoot through the cottage to the window, looking up through the clearing at the bright and wide full moon. All around the moon were dazzling and sparkling stars. She smiled, not able to remember the last time she was able to see so many stars all at once. Being outside at the keep at dark was far too dangerous. She did vividly remember looking up at the heavens as a small girl, seeing sparkling gems far off in the distance, completely in awe of the beauty over the Highlands.

Jocelyn knew it was probably not very smart for her to go out into the grass that late at night, but she felt herself pulled toward the moon. She wanted to feel her feet on the ground, free from the restraints and fears of her past. She wanted to look up at the stars as someone not shackled to the ground beneath her or the walls around her.

Grabbing her cloak from the back of the dining chair, Jocelyn threw it around her shoulders and made her way to the door. She flinched, slowly turning the nod, hoping it didn't creak too much as she opened it just enough to slip through. With ease, she shut it behind her and closed her eyes for a moment, breathing in the smells of wet grass and herbs from the garden as the cool breeze washed over her face. It was like a whole new world for her and her sisters, and it had only begun.

As she stepped out into the night, she pulled her cloak around her, smiling at the chill. She tiptoed through the dirt along the path through the garden. Out beyond the small white fence was short soft grass peppered with trees. Jocelyn walked along, feeling the wet cold blades beneath her, coming to a spot just a few feet from a large old tree. She plopped down on the ground and laid back, letting her feet kick up in the air before landing out in the grasses. Staring up at the clear night sky, her heart lifted. She felt so small amongst the stars, and it dawned on her how much she didn't know about the world around her. There was so much to learn and see, and while she didn't want to get her hopes up too much just yet, being with her sister was going to open up the world to her. At least she hoped it would.

Jocelyn had never been a girl of flight or fancy, but sitting in her father's library late at night, reading fantasy books, she would let herself go, leaving the stress of her life behind. Entering into the world in her books was her only escape from the pain and suffering that suffocated her and her sisters day in and day out. She wasn't sure she would have made it that long if it hadn't been for those books.

"You're going tae be itchy," a deep voice said with a chuckle.

Jocelyn's heart dropped and she gasped, sitting up straight and wrapping her cloak around her. As her eyes scanned over, she found Lachlan sitting on the ground, propped against the tree. She let out a deep breath and her relief instantly turned into irritation, embarrassed irritation. "You shouldnae scare people like that. I could have…hurt ye or something."

Lachlan laughed. "With what? Yer skipping steps into the grass? Besides, I was here first. Ye shouldnae sneak up on me."

Jocelyn huffed. "I didnae sneak up on ye. I was just getting some air. And ye ken what, I was nae skipping. I've never skipped a day in me life. I just liked the feeling of me feet in the grass."

Lachlan snickered, getting up and walking over to where Jocelyn sat. He crossed his legs and grunted as he lowered down. "Ye act like ye never felt grass before."

Jocelyn stared at him for a moment, only then realizing how strange it was that she hadn't actually had any memory of walking barefoot in the grass. She was sure as a baby she had, but not after her father and mother died.

Lachlan blinked at her for a moment before a look of disbelief crossed his face. "Ye havenae, have ye?"

Jocelyn pulled her knees to her chest and hugged them close to her. "I'm sorry if me life wasnae as frolicking and fancy as yers was. Highlander women have different lives."

"Nay," Lachlan replied. "Ye and yer sisters did."

Taking a deep breath, Jocelyn stared off into the darkness. "Aye. Ye're right. We did. I barely remember me father and mother, as I was young when they died. Everything after that was me older sister preparing me for a life of hiding and careful steps. She prepared me tae care for the others when she left. The most time I was away from me room was when Bram would find me and throw me in the dungeons beneath the keep for several days before my uncle would have me released."

Lachlan didn't say anything in return, but Jocelyn didn't need him to. She hadn't ever talked in length about what they had gone through but with him, she felt safe to talk. She wasn't sure why, he was basically a stranger, but she knew for some reason that he wouldn't judge or treat her like she was fragile.

"Aoife got it the worse for a long while," she continued. "She would be in the dungeons at least twice a month. I had tae get her out several times. She would get so angry at Bram, and she has a serious flame tae her pride. She couldnae just let him get away with the things he said. She had tae taunt him or bicker back."

Jocelyn reached down and plucked a piece of grass, staring at it as she peeled apart the layers. "I would just retreat tae the library where they rarely looked for me. I got good at reading in very dim light, tucked up between the stacks. When me sister left and I was in charge, I would take the books back tae me room. I had tae make an agreement with me uncle, one that granted some proper living arrangements and gave me sisters a bit of freedom."

Lachlan glanced over at her curiously, but cautious. "What kind of deal?"

The thought of her almost husband sent disgust down Jocelyn's back and a bit of shame into her heart. "I agreed that me and me sisters would be the perfect angels, and we would marry whomever our uncle set up fer us. Before we fled, I was sure I'd be married tae the biggest of brutes, a man friends with me cousin. I could tell he was a mean man, but it was better than being stuck there. Aoife was already bein' promised, and Deirdre only had a couple of years."

Jocelyn tossed the blade of grass, sniffling as a tear ran down her cheek. "But then me uncle was murdered by Bram, poisoned in his own bed chamber. That night I kenned if I didnae get me sisters out, we would die there. And we wouldnae be buried with me father or mother. They would burn us like witches after torturin' us."

Glancing over at Lachlan, she picked another blade of grass and held it out to him. "So, thank ye fer saving us. We wouldnae be alive right now if ye hadnae."

Lachlan took the blade from her and shook his head. "It's yer sister ye should be thankin'. She insisted, demanded even that I go right away and try tae find ye. She feared that…well, ye'd be caught and taken back. If it werenae fer her, it would have been a week before I set out tae look fer ye."

"Ye're brave fer it," Jocelyn mumbled, trying to keep the tears from flowing.

She knew there would be a time she could curl up and cry, but that wasn't it. They still had quite the journey until they had to make their way to her sister's lands. Lachlan turned toward her and pulled several strands of hair from Jocelyn's face, pushing them back with the rest. Curling his finger, he wiped a dripping tear from her cheek as Jocelyn closed her eyes for a moment, feeling strength and comfort in his warm hand.

"It wasnae just me," Lachlan said. "What ye did was more than most lassies I ken could ever have accomplished. I didnae save ye on me own. You helped, and ye got them from the keep—without being caught—and all the way here. That's somethin' tae be proud of. Ye did good."

"The hardest part was riding away from the keep and the non stop ridin' into the forest. Deirdre isnae a very good rider, and we were all feeling the pain from constant horseback riding. We had stopped there at the creek, and it was really the first time we stopped since we left the keep. We were gonna get cleaned up, eat, drink, and maybe get a little sleep before heading out tae find our way here. I didnae ken the way tae me sister's, but I remembered the writings in a book about how tae find Agatha," Jocelyn explained. "I figured if I got us here, she could help us get word tae me sister."

Lachlan smiled, shaking his head. "The ridin' when ye're nae used to it, it's a rough one. Did yer sisters have bruises and raw skin?"

Jocelyn winced at the thought, knowing full well she did as well, but had put her pain on the back burner. "If we had been allowed some decent riding pants, then we could have been alright. But skirts were all we had."

"Yer sister has ridin' pants, a gift from a friend in England," Lachlan replied. "Nae that I keep stock of yer sister's pants…"

Jocelyn giggled, thankful for the break from the tears. "Interesting, Sir Lachlan."

Lachlan shook his head. "Nay. Just Lachlan, nay sir here."

Jocelyn snorted. "I can tell."

He laughed and rolled his eyes. "Ye're havin' yerself a good time arenae ye?"

Jocelyn nodded. "Aye. I never had someone tae pick on, at least nae someone as easy tae pick on as ye."

Lachlan chuckled, standing up. He looked down at Jocelyn, realizing just how beautiful she was when she was happy and not covered in someone else's blood. He pushed the thought away, though, knowing there was no room in his life for emotions or feelings like that. He had his own secrets, his own past, and he knew there wouldn't be a place for anyone, maybe ever.

"Well, just ken that nae many lassies could pull off what ye did fer yer sisters," he said. "Ye need tae get some sleep. I ken it's hard tae fall asleep, but once ye're there, ye'll be out."

"I'd like tae stay out here fer a little bit longer," she said, looking up at the stars. "Do ye think we'll be safe?"

Lachlan nodded. "Aye. There's nae reason fer the men tae come out this far. They dinnae ken about Agatha, and they would assume if ye survived, ye were already reachin' yer sister's, or close tae it. Ye should be fine. Just dinnae stay out here too long."

"Goodnight," Jocelyn said, smiling up at Lachlan.

He nodded and headed back toward the house, leaving Jocelyn in the grasses under the stars. Jocelyn watched him until he had disappeared into the cabin, folding the cloak around her and laying back in the grass again. She stared up at the stars, at first ignoring the wildly beating heart in her chest. She cleared her throat several times, trying to concentrate on the beauty above. After a few minutes, though, she let out a sigh and allowed Lachlan to float back through her mind.

Being in that situation her whole life, she hadn't ever really had a reaction to a man like that. It was the complete opposite of how the man who she was supposed to marry made her feel, which was a good start, but also confusing. She barely knew Lachlan, but from the moment she met him, she couldn't stop thinking about him. Then, there, as she lay her life out for him, he touched her face with his warm, kind hands, and Jocelyn could have melted right into the ground, becoming one with the wise-woman's gardens.

Jocelyn was starting to think her uptick in mood had more to do with him than it did the freedom that she was beginning to comprehend could be theirs. When he complimented Jocelyn, her heart started beating wildly, and she found herself almost hoping for more. Lachlan was a vigilante though, a shadow amongst the people. He wasn't the kind of man that had a keep and a clan to settle down with. He was a loner whose horse was his best friend after all. There was no option for a future with him, at least she didn't think there would be.

Rolling her eyes and tapping her head to the ground, Jocelyn tried to remember they weren't in the clear yet. She should be preparing, planning, and allowing her sisters to be carefree. She shouldn't be out there skipping through the grasses daydreaming about Lachlan. That was the kind of thing that would surely get someone hurt, and Jocelyn could never live with herself if her sisters were hurt because of her.

She had to focus. She had to look toward the immediate future, the dangerous path to her sister. No matter how much she wanted to think of Lachlan, she knew it could only bring pain.