18. Sammie

CHAPTER 18

SAMMIE

L ewis scoops my shaking body off the floor and carries me to the bathroom. I use everything I have left to stay standing on wobbling legs as he turns the knob and steaming water tumbles from the faucet. Steam fills the bathroom. His face is stone. I can't tell if he is mad or upset. I shake, leaning against the vanity.

He turns back and gestures for me to take off my top. I try, but my fingers are too stiff to grip anything. He stares at me for a moment before grabbing the hem of my shirt. I lift my arms tentatively, like a stickup in an old western, my gaze not leaving his.

He peels the freezing material from my gooseflesh-covered body, letting it hit the tile. His warm fingers brush my belly and hips as he unzips and tugs my jeans down. They stick over my hips, and he moves closer, forcing them over my curves.

I step from the heavy, ice-clad denim and stand on shaky legs. He makes quick work of my bra, and I slide my arms out, not taking my gaze from his face. I try to use my fingers. The movement burns, and I gasp. His eyes flick back up to mine, pupils fully dilated.

Heat pools low in my stomach, and, as ridiculous as it feels, I am glad for the warmth. My heart rate kicks up as he peels down my panties and lets them fall into the pile of half-frozen wet clothes. He wraps his arms around my shaking body and picks me up, walking us both into the hot water, him still fully clothed.

The water burns my skin. I grip his arms, moaning through a cry. His hold tightens. I lower my feet to the ground, breathing through the sting from every single burning drop of water. He hums into my hair. I let myself melt into his warmth, eliminating any remaining space between us. After an age, my fingers stop burning, my heart rate steadies, and I drag in a long, deep breath.

As if reading my mind, Lewis releases me and leaves the bathroom. I lean on the wall of the shower and slide to the floor, staring at the door he went through. Every cell in my body is missing his. Every thought damaged by seeing him walk away. His bond has snapped with someone else. And that burns more than any frozen water ever could.

Sobs crash up my throat. I lay on the shower floor and curl up, letting my tears flow down the drain with the steaming water. When the water starts to come in cooler waves, I push up from the tile to my feet. My eyes are sore from crying. I'm still stiff despite spending this long in the hot shower.

A knock on the door startles me. A hand appears with my PJs. I turn off the water and grab a towel, wrapping it around myself. I take the clothes from his hand. He retracts it and closes the door. I dress and walk to the bedroom, not wanting to see his face. Not wanting him to see mine.

I crawl into bed. The fire in my room is stoked and burning high. Three extra blankets are laid over my bed. I start shivering again, my teeth chattering almost as bad as before. I close my eyes and pull the blankets around myself tight.

My jaw aches from the chattering. Footsteps stop in the doorway. I open my eyes. Lewis stands there, watching me chatter myself to pieces for a moment. He walks to the bed and studies my face. Pulling his sweater and shirt from his back, he tosses them to the floor and walks around the bed, climbing in on the other side.

A second later, his arms wrap around me, one under me, one over my tucked-up legs and butt. He tugs me into his chest and holds me tight. His warmth is delicious. He sinks his face into my neck. I slide my hand over his on my legs.

"Thank you," I whisper.

"Any time, Sunshine."

I wriggle backward, chasing more warmth. Hardness presses into my bum, and he groans. My breath hitches. He has a mate.

I try to pry myself from his grip. "You don't have to do this if it's uncomfortable." But his hold doesn't relent. He chuckles into my hair, and I stiffen. "I thought vampires were supposed to hate us witches?"

"Mhmmm."

I settle back into his hold, running over every interaction we have had since we met. Searching for some kind of evidence to either back up what I feel or tear it down. After half an hour, I turn in his arms and make space between us.

"I'm okay now, you don't have to do this."

He studies my face, his gaze wandering across my throat, the bounding heartbeat in my veins. Angst washes over his face. He tucks a piece of hair behind my ear and forces a smile. I slip a hand around his before he can take it away.

"I thought vampires were supposed to hate us." I am repeating myself, but I am desperate to hear something from him. Anything.

I search his face, waiting.

"They are. I don't, at least not all of them. Not anymore." The small smile fades. He removes his hand and removes himself from the bed.

"Lewis?"

He turns back, bare-chested, blood bounding through the veins in his neck like wildfire.

"Thank you, not just for now."

"You're welcome, Sunshine."

"Sammie," I breathe.

"Sammie," he says, his lips tugging into a smile, adoration filling his eyes. A soft smile blooms over my face, and I snuggle into the pillow, pulling the blanket around myself tighter. Minutes later, sleep smothers my exhausted body and I let it drag me under.

T he moon is high in the sky when I wake from the less-than-pleasant recurring dream. The mist, Lewis on the cliff with Anjelica contorting his body every which way, lacing his face, his eyes, with pain. I shuffle into the kitchen for a glass of water.

The fire in the living room hearth is down to embers. I fill a glass with tap water and chug the entire thing. Lewis is asleep on the couch, papers spread on his chest, his red pen fallen to the floor. His laptop is open, the screen saver cycling through a twisting neon loop. How old-school is this guy?

I pad toward the sofa. His chest rises and falls softly, his arm hanging over the side of the sofa. I move to the hearth and grab two logs from the wood box and place them over the embers. Sparks fly upward with the weight of the logs. I pluck another two from the box and rest them on top of the first two. As the bottom ones burn down, the top two should fall into the fire, lasting longer than a single layer.

Lewis mumbles in his sleep and rolls onto his side. His hair flops over his face. Butterflies take flight low in my stomach. I suck in a long, low breath to temper the response I have simply being next to him.

I inch closer and lift the papers from his chest and place them on the side table. Closing the laptop, I put it down on top of the papers. The blanket is draped over the sofa still. I pull it down and lay it over his body, spreading it over his chest, legs, and feet.

I take off his shoes and replace the blanket. He inhales, releasing a sigh. He moves on the sofa in his sleep. The moonlight pouring through the window is enough to see his face change from relaxed to a small smile.

"Good night, Sammie."

The butterflies in my stomach melt to warmth.

"Night, Lewis."

I make my way back to bed and snuggle in. Something has shifted. Like after the ice and the river, the tension which had us at each other's throats was washed away with the current. Like we both let go of the ball we had been tossing back and forth between us.

For the first time since I met Lewis, I'm scared for him. Devastated he would give up, to protect me. Burning in my chest floods my body. Tears prickle behind my eyes and I let the moisture soak the pillow. It might be the selflessness of the man in the next room, or the stress of the dramatic events of today, but I just want to cry. I want this feeling out of me.

I want him to live.

I want him.

Period.

L ewis's hands are at ten and two. Nerd. He reaffirms his grip on the wheel. "You can get service in about three miles." His eyes are on the road, mine are on him.

"You will burn a hole in my face if you don't stop staring, Sunshine." He laughs.

My stomach flips. Goddess above, I love that sound.

A lump grows in my throat. "If you only get one bond and yours has snapped, why didn't you claim it? Especially with the curse..."

His gaze flicks from the road to me. His jaw clenches. All humor has drained from his face.

"Why would you waste it when you have limited time left?"

He pulls the car over, planting his foot on the brake. I brace my hands on the dash. He shifts the stick to park and is out of the car faster than I can see.

What did I say?

I open the door and get out of the car. I hold my phone up. One bar! I open my messages. Three messages ping. They're from Mom, Serena, and Jackson. Yes! Bless the Goddess, I have missed this.

I read all three messages. All the same, wanting to know how I am doing on my ‘getaway.' Ugh. I hate lying to my family. But it is so much easier than telling them a deranged shadow witch is hunting me.

I pull my coat around myself and hold it tight. Shoving my phone into the side pocket, I wander off the side of the road, following Lewis's footprints in the snow. A few minutes later, I find him. He is leaning against a tree, his back to me, hands in his hair. His shoulders rise and fall quickly.

I walk up behind him and rest my hand on his forearm. "Hey."

He drops his hands to his sides and turns to face me. His eyes are filled with devastation.

"I'm sorry for bringing it up." I rub my thumb over his jaw, fingers cupping his face. He closes his eyes and leans into my hand.

God, right now, in this moment, I would give anything for his bond to be with me.

But I know how rare it is for a vampire and a witch to bond. And from everything I have researched, and he has told me, a bond between a vampire and another species doesn't always end well for the person of the other species.

"I should have told you this the week we met, but I... " he starts.

"You what? Lewis, what is going on?"

"Back in the lecture hall at the start of term, I felt?—"

His phone rings. He startles and pulls the phone from his pocket. Staring at it for a moment, he taps to answer.

"Den."

He turns and wanders further into the forest.

"Okay, yep, we will head back now."

He hangs up and walks back fast, grabbing my hand and dragging me behind him. I wince in his rough hold.

"Lewis, please answer at least one of my questions."

He trudges through the snow, pulling me behind him. I pull my hand free and plant my feet in the snow, crossing my arms over my chest, brows down, mouth a thin line.

He spins back. "What are you doing? We need to get back, now!"

"I am not leaving this spot until you tell me something. Tell me what's going on with you. Tell me what Denver said. Tell me what you were supposed to tell me the week we met." Blood thunders in my veins, almost drowning out every word.

He stalks into my space and growls. "Not now, not here. We have to get back, Samantha."

I feel like a little kid in trouble. I shake my head. "No way. Talk or I am not going anywhere with you."

"Now is not the time, Sunshine," he snarls.

"Make it the time, Lewis."

I meet his fire with my own. And his chest heaves, inches from mine. "We are not safe here."

"What did Denver say?"

"There are six scouts tracking our way. The only place they can't get to us is in the cabin. It's warded against uninvited guests. Now, move!"

"Fine!" I drop my hands, shoving his shoulder with mine as I march past him. He grunts at the contact and follows close on my heels. I drop into the car and slam the door.

He shuts his door and fires up the engine, spinning the car back around in one quick motion before he opens up the engine, the rumble echoing through the snow-covered forest flanking the road we fly down.

Twenty minutes later, we pull up in front of the cabin. The front door is open. Snow is tracked up the stairs and around the porch.

"What about the ward?" I ask.

"They must have found a way around it. Stay here." He points to the seat I'm sitting in. "I mean it, Sammie."

I roll my eyes at him and grab my pendant, turning it between my fingers. He disappears into the house.