Chapter 57

Late afternoon the following day, Trajan was pacing the hallway and trying to think of a way to talk Katya into letting him in to see Anya. She still hadn"t woken. They were still unsure if the Darkness knew their address to send Nehemoth, or if it had tracked her by supernatural means, so someone was guarding Anya"s room at all times.

Trajan had come around from Izrayl"s punch only a few hours ago. He had been disoriented and raving, still feeling the echoes of the fucked up magic V?lundr had used on him. Cerise had calmed him and told him what had happened, but he could barely remember anything about the last twenty hours.

Cerise had tracked his phone as soon as he hadn"t returned to the mansion, and they had arrived in time to see Anya turn the building into an inferno.

"You opened a gateway to fucking Tartarus, Trajan." Cerise stopped yelling in Greek and forced herself to calm down, chain-smoking worse than ever. "Could you imagine what would happen to this world if you had left it open? If something had tried to get through?"

"I"m sorry, Cerise," Trajan apologized. He couldn"t believe he had done it either. All he remembered was being in agony, Anya burning, and then nothing.

"It doesn"t matter now. We have to make preparations to get out of Paris. Once the Darkness finds out what happened, we will all be fucked. Even if the Nehemoth tracked her with magic and not with an actual address, it doesn"t mean they won"t figure out a way to do the same."

"V?lundr said he hadn"t told Ladislav that he had Anya. He was using her first to get at me before he reported back to Moscow."

"Who the hell is V?lundr?" Cerise asked as she lit another cigarette. He had told her everything he could remember, and when he was done, he just wanted to see Anya. He would have to get through the door first.

Katya was wearing her handguns and leaning against Anya"s bedroom door when he finally got the courage to approach her.

"Go away, Trajan," she said, drawing a gun on him.

"Katya, please. I"m myself again," Trajan assured her.

"And what kind of comfort is that? I saw what you did yesterday. You think I"m ever going to get those screams out of my head?"

"Katya, I"m still the same Trajan you knew yesterday. Do you think Izrayl would"ve brought me back here if I wasn"t? Do you think Yvan would"ve let me in the house?" Katya lowered her gun slowly but didn"t holster it again.

"I would still be careful of Yvan if I were you," she warned. "You can have ten minutes, and I"ll be right outside the door waiting for you."

"I understand."

"I hope you do." Katya walked away, leaving him to sit by Anya"s bed. She looked pale under the smudges of ash on her face and through her hair. She looked the complete opposite of the vengeful shamanitsa she had been the night before.

Trajan might not remember much from the last twenty-four hours, but he would never forget the pure fury on Anya"s face or the way she melted the iron holding her. Anya"s affinity with fire magic had saved them both, and now she had seen his true form or as much as one could on this plane of existence. She hadn"t been repulsed or scared. She had touched him and offered her life"s energy to help him.

Trajan"s insides were cramped with anger at himself for being weak enough to take it. He should"ve been the one to save her, not the other way around. He was meant to be her protector, and he had failed her.

Trajan"s mouth watered, just remembering the golden taste of her life force, and his self-loathing became even more intense.

"I"m so sorry, Anya," he whispered, brushing the hair from her face, his fingers lingering on her cheek. Even if she did wake up, he didn"t know how he was ever going to make amends for the unforgivable thing he had done.

"No, no…" Anya whispered, lashing out at the sheets.

"Anya? Wake up. You"re having a nightmare," Trajan said, hope rushing through him.

Her eyes snapped open, saw him leaning over her, and she screamed. She struggled to get out of the sheets, backing away from him in terror as she scrambled out of bed.

"What the hell?" Katya appeared as Anya knocked her over and ran down the hall. Trajan helped Katya to her feet, her jade eyes wide. "What did you do?"

Anya bargedinto Yvan"s rooms and ran for his bathroom. She slammed the door behind her and turned the lock. Shaking and crying, she tore her dirty clothes off and managed to turn on the shower taps before her knees gave out and she crumpled on the tiles. She sobbed in heavy, painful gasps as she pulled her knees up to her chest and started to rock. She could hear screaming in her head, the blood and ash taste in her mouth strong enough to make her gag.

You killed all those people, and you didn"t feel bad about it for a moment. She still didn"t, and that made her feel even worse. The first time you use your magic properly, and you use it to kill, just like those boys down at the lake.

"Anya?" a voice called from the other side of the door. It burst open, and Yvan"s dark head appeared around the shower door. Through the fall of water, she saw the concern on his face, and she tucked her legs closer to her chest.

"Do you want to come out of there?" he asked gently.

"I c-can"t m-move," she said, shivering badly from shock.

Yvan kicked off his shoes, turned the water hotter, and sat down beside her fully clothed. He draped an arm around her, and she leaned into him sobbing.

"You are okay," he whispered and gently stroked her hair. "Do you want to tell me about it?"

Slowly the whole confusing story tumbled out of her—the Shishiga and her peeling bloody skin, the Ovinnik, the crow slaves, and V?lundr torturing Trajan.

Yvan held her tighter when she spoke about the huge amount of power that had taken over and ridden her. She couldn"t remember anything after she started to give Trajan her energy except for the horrifying night terrors of Hell, distorted crow slaves, and V?lundr screaming in the darkness. When Trajan had woken her, all she could see was his thanatos form looming over her.

"Anya, take a deep breath for me," Yvan instructed once her story had turned into a ramble of words and images. "I think the heavy drugs V?lundr was injecting you with are slowly wearing off. You"re coming down from a long high, so you need to try and relax. Vasilli and Ladislav weren"t even aware that you were captured. That gives us a few days to get out of Paris, and by the time they realize what has happened, we will be long gone. They aren"t ever going to get their hands on you again, shalos?."

"I killed them, Yvan. They were screaming, and I left them to die," she said, the horror of it clawing at her insides.

"They would have done worse to you, Anya. Think of all the others that they would have hurt and experimented on in that building. This is war. You survived. There is no shame in that," he replied.

Anya gripped him tighter. Her whole world was turning upside down again, but Yvan was her rock, the only thing keeping her from getting swept away in the madness.

"You want to know something?" Anya asked shakily. "I met another two fairytale creatures when I was captive. I"m here with you, a wonderful, cursed fairytale prince from Skazki. It"s like I am trapped in a fairytale of my own, but this isn"t going to have a happy ending, is it?"

Yvan chuckled softly. "I"m not much of a prince anymore. One thing I"ve learned in my life is that we can never predict the future with certainty. You have been given a massive gift, and you have been using it for good. You have given a Shishiga and an Ovinnik a much happier ending than they thought possible. Think about them and the lives they have now because of you. Don"t think about the lives you had to take."

"What are we going to do now?" she asked, sniffling.

"The first thing is you need to get out of this shower. Then when we are packed and ready, we are getting out of Paris. The others have been making the arrangements since we found you. Trajan was screaming when he woke up too, so don"t feel bad about you being the same way."

Anya flinched at the mention of Trajan. Oh god, you screamed in his face.

"Can you do me a favor?" she asked.

"Anything."

"Can you talk to him for me? He"s going to think I"m afraid of him. I was screaming because of the dream, and then he was looming over me, and I didn"t know if I was asleep or awake"

"And coming down off drugs probably made the nightmares and the world in general terrifying. I"ll tell him."

Yvan stood up and climbed out of the shower. He unfolded a massive towel and held it out for her, discreetly looking away as she stood, turned off the taps, and stepped into it. Yvan wrapped it around her like a little child and dried her face with a corner.

"Go and get dressed. You need food," he said with a smile. "I"ll talk to Trajan."

"Thank you for everything, Yvan. You always know the right thing to say to calm me down."

Yvan smiled and flicked the end of her nose. "Of course I do. I"m the hero, remember?"

"Just because an old woman in Skazki said that doesn"t mean it"s true," Anya teased, feeling better just from making him smile.