Chapter Nine

" I can do it myself," I say. I ache everywhere . My mouth, my face, my throat. The thought of doing it myself exhausts me already, but I don't want Jaxon to do something he doesn't want to do.

Jaxon gives me a warning look before he grabs my waist and lifts me like I weigh nothing. He sets me on the edge of the black marble counter, my legs dangling, then fishes around the cabinets for the first-aid kit and sets the navy-blue bag beside me.

My thighs squeeze together as I eye his hands. Under the tattoos, I spot the bulging veins. Jaxon's always had a nice body—not that I've seen him naked. I've only seen him in his swim trunks during the summer or when he wore shorts and no shirt. But the veins on his hands and along his arms make things flutter where they shouldn't.

Realizing I haven't checked to see if I have any missing teeth, I twist around and look in the mirror with my finger hooked into the corner of my mouth.

"What are you doing?" Jaxon turns to me with a scowl .

"Seeing if I have any missing teeth," I say after I drop my hand.

He sighs and grabs my chin, turning me back to face him. Tapping my bottom lip, he says, "Open."

My cheeks warm, and I open my mouth. Jaxon tilts his head as he looks inside and sticks his finger into my mouth, searching for anything missing. My core pulses as dirty images pop into my mind. Things I've read in the manga books I enjoy getting lost in play a part in it and feed the fantasy. Or the fan fiction of said books that these creative authors came up with.

A forbidden fantasy plays in my mind, where Jaxon says for me to open my mouth for a different reason. Or how his fingers would be in my mouth while he's behind me when I'm on all fours, holding me like that as he slams his cock into me.

A small moan slips past my lips. Jaxon freezes, his finger pausing mid-swipe in my mouth. Our eyes meet for a moment before I quickly avert mine, too embarrassed to look at him.

This is why I'm bullied. I'm so goddamn awkward.

Jaxon finishes checking my teeth and drags his finger out of my mouth, his touch lingering on my bottom lip. "How's your throat?" he murmurs huskily.

I swallow and wince. "Hurts."

He cups my neck, his fingers gently prodding at the sore areas. I hold back the squeak working up my chest as he lodges his hips between my spread legs so he can get a closer look at me. My pulse drums in my ears, and every part of me becomes hyper-aware of my big brother's touch.

"Where else do you hurt?" Jaxon drags his hands down my neck, lingering over the top of my sternum.

"My ribs," I whisper. They don't hurt as bad as my throat, but Mickey landed a powerful kick to my side.

Jaxon looks me in the eye, a warning of what he's about to do. I don't stop him as he raises my crop top, exposing my stomach rolls and stretch marks, then my see-through lace bra. I forgot I put that on earlier, and gasp as my hands fly up to my chest to cover my breasts from his view.

Jaxon lifts his gaze to my face, his eyebrows drawing downward with a frown.

"I forgot I put this bra on," I say in a rush. "I'm sorry."

"You're apologizing to me for seeing your tits?" He cocks his head, confused, but amusement reflects in his dark-brown eyes. Shaking his head, he looks back at my ribs and eases my hands from my breasts.

"Why are you doing that?" I stammer, and shove his hands away.

"Checking for any wounds that might be there." He grabs my wrists.

I shake my head and cover myself again. "I can check myself later."

"No offense, little sister," Jaxon says, "but you have big tits, and it'll be hard for you to see everything. Let me help you."

My stomach flips several times, and I breathe harder. I don't want him to know how much this turns me on or that I don't even feel pain at this moment—unless you count the pain between my legs.

Jaxon notices my worry, and he leans forward until his nose brushes against mine. His hands settle on my waist, which has always been the spot he grabs when he touches me. "I'm not judging you," he coos as he squeezes my love handles.

Oh, he'll judge for sure if he sticks his hands down my shorts. That will be the one place I won't ever, ever let him check for any wounds whatsoever. Ever.

Jaxon patiently waits, his eyes hooded and lips parted. He relaxes while he takes care of me, and I can't bring myself to say no to him. I slowly nod. He smiles and leans away from me to continue exploring .

I bite my bottom lip and tuck my hands beneath my thighs to keep from covering myself while he inspects me. Jaxon drags his fingers over my sides, pointing out some bruises before going higher. My legs squeeze around his waist as he gently lifts my bra, freeing my heavy breasts from their confines.

My nipples harden into tight, sensitive peaks that ache to be played with. Jaxon trails his fingertips over one, then spreads his fingers over my breast as he raises it to look underneath. I squeeze my eyes shut, biting back a whimper as he touches me. I have to remind myself that he's only helping me and not trying anything sexual with me.

He lets my breast fall, but he keeps grabbing it, his fingers tightening as he palms my breast like a kitten would when it's fluffing a spot to sleep on. A breathy moan escapes me the moment he touches my nipple, pinching it between his fingers.

"Is that necessary?" I shift my hips to stop the pulsing in my clit.

"Yes."

I can't muster any more words as he turns his attention to my other breast, doing the same thing by touching it, lifting it, then pinching my nipple. When I think he's done, he surprises me as he cups both breasts. I blink open my eyes, my lips parting and hips moving on their own as he palms me more roughly, like he's losing control.

"Does this hurt?" he asks in a gravelly voice. His split tongue pokes out of his mouth, wetting his bottom lip. If I didn't know better, I would think he's imagining what I taste like.

I quickly shake my head.

He tilts his head, now staring at my face as he plays with my breasts. My face flushes and sweat builds on my forehead as tiny electrical currents of pleasure shoot straight between my legs. I want to come so badly, but not by my brother's hand. It's so wrong, and he'll definitely judge me for that. Especially if I scream his name and beg him to touch my pussy.

We stare at each other for a moment or two, and I don't think either of us breathes as we wait for the other to say or do something. What I want probably isn't something he wants, so I stay quiet.

Reluctantly, he lets go of my breasts, his fingertips dragging on the sensitive skin like he loathes to part with them. He pulls my bra into place, tucking each breast into the cups before he lowers my crop top to cover me.

I sag the moment he turns to grab a bottle of hydrogen peroxide and soaks a cotton pad with it.

"This will sting," he says.

"Can't be worse than what happened with Mickey," I tease.

Jaxon tenses. His expression turns blank, then twists into rage. His eyes shutter and lose focus.

I jump off the counter and huddle near him, careful as I gently touch his arm with one hand and his chest with the other. My brother stands still, like he's a brick building and I'm some idiot trying to shove it. I jerk my hands away from him as he turns his cold, dark eyes to me.

"I'm sorry," I whisper with a tremble in my voice.

Jaxon follows me with every backward step. My thighs brush against the large jacuzzi bathtub behind me, stopping me from going anywhere else now that my blacked-out brother corners me.

"Jaxon," I whisper, hoping he doesn't lose his shit on me.

Jaxon's hand shoots out, his fingers circle around my wrist, and he jerks me forward and forces me to touch his chest.

"Keep me here," he grates out. He pitches his voice lower by an octave, sounding like he swallowed rocks. I shiver as he guides my hand upward until I cup his throat. "Touch me."

Warmth pools low in my belly. I know he doesn't mean it that way, but the thought is there in my head, and I can't get it out after hearing it. I flex my fingers around his neck and step closer to him. His lips thin into a harsh line, and his breathing quickens. The position is awkward. He may not be too much taller than I am, but it's weird to hold him like this while we stand so close together.

"Sit down," I say.

Jaxon's hands settle on my waist, and he moves us until he lowers himself onto the bathtub's wide outer edge. I gasp as he yanks me down to straddle his lap, my knees resting on the marble tub. Jaxon grabs my wrist, guiding me to wrap my fingers around his tattooed throat again.

My clit flutters as I squeeze on him, feeling his Adam's apple move every time he swallows. His eyes remain clouded with anger, and he trembles from the adrenaline rushing through his body, preparing him for a fight that won't happen. Despite all of that, he doesn't attack me. If anything, he's gentle as he winds an arm around my waist, pulling me close enough that my aching center grinds against his pelvis. My cheeks warm as I feel the large stiffness between his legs, nestled right where our bodies would join if we ever got to that point—which we won't.

Fuck me. I shouldn't be attracted to my brother. Especially not while he's fighting his anger.

I lean my forehead against his and thread my fingers through his hair, the same way I've always loved being done to me. Mom used to do it when I was a kid, but she stopped when I got a little older and her annoyance with me grew into an ugly beast.

"I'm okay, big brother. "

Calling him that always brings him back to me. It's been in my arsenal forever, at the ready for times like these.

My grip on his throat tightens until I control each breath he takes. I've never questioned why this works for him, but it just does. His eyelashes flutter, and he struggles for breath, all while keeping his eyes on me. The faraway look dissipates like a storm breaking apart and revealing blue skies. I breathe a sigh of relief and sag against him, my fingers loosening to rest on his warm skin.

"What would I do without you?" Jaxon murmurs.

"Probably be in jail," I tease.

"You have no idea."

Jaxon's hand slips over my bare love handles and travels up my ribs, his fingers brushing along each one. I suck in a breath as his thumbs inch higher, right beneath my breasts. My core flutters, and arousal burns through my veins until I have to shift my hips to ease the ache between my legs. I freeze as Jaxon's breath hisses through his teeth and his grip on me tightens, holding me still.

"Sorry," I squeak.

He groans under his breath, and the sound vibrates against my chest. "Apologize again, flower, and you won't like what will happen."

I lean back, cocking my head with my eyebrows pinching together. "You just snapped out of a blacked-out rage and had me choke you, and you're going to sit here and contradict yourself by threatening violence on me?"

"Violence? That's cute." Jaxon's lips quirk into a brief smile, and the subliminal promise in his teasing is enough to bring butterflies into my stomach.

He shifts me, clearly wanting me off his lap, so I get up and already miss feeling him. I don't know what possesses me to look down, but when I see the outline of his hard cock straining against his tight black jeans, my pulse thunders harder in my ears and those butterflies turn into bats. I only stare for a second, but it feels like an eternity. I glance away and retreat to the abandoned first-aid kit on the counter.

"I can clean myself, if you want," I say, hoping he'll let me this time. Not that I need his permission, but my brother is nothing but persistent and always gets whatever he wants.

"No," he says as he comes to my side. He picks me up without making a sound and sets me down in the same spot. "I told you I'd take care of you."

I bite the inside of my cheek, holding myself back from arguing with him. It's not worth it.

He soaks a cotton pad with hydrogen peroxide and murmurs a soft warning before he pats it against a cut on my cheekbone. I hiss and pull my head away from him.

"That hurts!" I cry.

"Sorry. I did warn you." He cups the back of my head, bringing me back to him to keep tenderly cleaning the cut. As Jaxon cleans me, his gaze loses focus, like he's receding into his mind, so I say the first thing I think of to keep him here with me.

"Do you think this house is haunted?" It's a strange question, but it accomplishes what I intended.

Jaxon blinks, and his hand pauses as he focuses on me. "No," he drawls. "Why?"

"Well..." I close my eyes. "I've just been hearing some stuff. Seeing stuff too. Probably ghosts."

Jaxon's touch disappears, and I crack an eye open. He cocks his head curiously. "What sorts of things?"

I shrug and close my eye because I always find more courage through that than looking directly at him. "They look like burned demons. Then there are these faces that are right next to me while I try to sleep."

I open my eyes at the sound of crinkling paper. Jaxon opens bandages and gently lays each one on the sore cuts on my face. He says nothing after I just told him something embarrassing. I may as well never talk about it again. I know it sounds stupid and childish, but the things I see are terrifying and I've been dying to talk about them.

I sag, disappointed and embarrassed with myself. All I want to do is crawl into bed and sleep. Exhaustion settles in my bones at the thought of sleeping, and I sway in place as Jaxon finishes tending to me.

"That adrenaline is wearing off," he murmurs into my ear, then drags me into his arms and carries me out of the bathroom.

I rest my cheek against his shoulder. "Where are you taking me?"

"Bed."

"I'm fine," I grumble. "Just resting my eyes."

His chest vibrates with a soft laugh, and his arms tighten around me, one hooked beneath my bottom. The sway of his gait lulls me closer to sleep, and I shiver from being cold.

You know what? Curling up in my bed doesn't sound so bad after all.

Jaxon carries me out of his room and into mine, gently laying me on the mattress. I'm a little disappointed that he didn't take me to his bed, but at the end of the day, it's for the best. In my sleepy state, I would have said or done something I'll later regret. I don't want to lose my brother and best friend because of this weird attraction I have for him. Eventually, I'll grow out of it.

An idea pops into my mind. I can speed things along by dating someone who will distract me from my brother. That sounds great, actually, but I don't know how Jaxon will feel about that. He's protective of me, and I'm sure he'll try to scare off potential dates.

I yawn. We'll cross that bridge when we get to it.

"Go to sleep," he murmurs. He pulls off my boots, then tucks me under my sheets.

I roll onto my back, my arm covering my eyes to block out the light streaming through my window. "You're the best big brother," I mumble.

He stays quiet. I assume he's left, but then I peek out from under my arm and find him staring at me with a strange look on his face.

He shakes his head, guilt twisting his features. "I don't think I am, flower."

"Why?" I slur.

Before I fall asleep, I hear him say, "Because what's in my head would scare you."