Chapter Twenty-Three

T hree days passed in the psych ward. Mom pretended to care about me and the stitches. Dad reacted about the same, and it makes me feel like shit. I still feel like utter crap because they make it very obvious that I'm not worthy of their love.

Being away from Jaxon was torture as well, even though he visited me every day. Sometimes we didn't talk. We just sat next to each other and played footsie under the table while I zoned out.

I left the hospital with pill bottles and instructions to call a psychiatrist as soon as possible. They put me on antipsychotics, antidepressants, mood stabilizers, and anxiety meds to help with the panic attacks. They started me on low dosages that make me lethargic all the time, and I feel like a zombie.

Jaxon takes me out for the evening, so we're away from our parents and the place that now holds bad memories. We ride with his friends, and I mold myself to Jaxon's back while we weave through lanes on the highway. In the blink of an eye, we're at a park tucked into the mountains. During the day, it's a place to have fun. By night, the outcasts and horny teenagers hang out.

Ryder and Jaxon start a fire in a metal barrel out in the soccer field. The warmth from the flames is a welcome relief, since it's chilly outside. A couple of girls are hanging out with us, though I can't recall their names.

I'm zoning in and out way too much and need something to stimulate me. I glance at the parking area clear across the field on the other side of the gazebo. Jaxon is crouched by his bike, fiddling with it. He's been by my side since I've been out of the hospital and always checks on me to make sure I'm not hearing things. I know what happened traumatized him, because how can it not?

Guilt eats at me. Jaxon has always been there for me and protected me, but have I done the same for him? I can't recall a time other than when we were in school.

I stand from my seat and wander to my brother. Ryder and the others are great company, but they aren't Jaxon. I take every chance to be near Jaxon while he's around.

He's been hanging around the house less every day. I don't know where he's going or why he's gone all day and late into late at night. A nagging worry builds inside me until it's nothing but an ugly monster creeping up on me—much like the things I've been seeing.

I join Jaxon's side as he messes with his motorcycle. Instead of looking at me, he turns his head this way and that. Immediately, I go down the mental path that tells me I'm invisible and no one cares about me.

"You're overthinking, flower."

I blink and the overpowering emotions pop like a balloon, leaving me lighter than before. I fold my arms under my breasts.

"It's what I do," I mumble, and smile to put him at ease .

He huffs a soft laugh. "I know."

I playfully tap his leg with the tip of my boot. "I suck at this, but are you okay?"

He finally looks at me and frowns. "Am I okay?"

I drop my arms and crouch beside him. Our shoulders touch, and I shiver at the contact. "I'm really sorry for what happened and that you saw me at the worst moment of my life."

"Dahlia." He fully turns toward me, eyes hardened. I prepare myself for a tongue lashing, because it's coming. "You couldn't help what happened. It's not your fault, and no, I'm not upset with you."

I sigh and more of that weight rises from my shoulders. "I saw the terror on your face, Jax. You can't tell me you're okay."

"You really want to know the truth?"

I nod.

He leans in like he's about to kiss me. "Yeah, hearing your screams and seeing you cut yourself was fucking terrifying. But you're here with me still, and as long as I can see you, I'm fine."

"So you're not going out anymore?" I shake my head and plop down on my bottom because crouching for too long causes my muscles to cramp.

Jaxon glances down at my spread thighs, his pupils blowing wider. A muscle jumps in his jaw, and he looks at my face again. "Not for a while, and neither are you."

"What about the trip Mom planned?"

She had to push the date back because of my "little mishap," so we're leaving on the tenth. I randomly remember what Mickey said about his inability to wait until the tenth, then Mom talking about the Reckoning.

Jaxon shakes his head, his frown deepening. "You're not going."

"I don't know if Mom will allow that. "

"Fuck what she does and doesn't allow. You weren't going to begin with."

"Why? Are you going to kidnap me or something?" I say with a little laugh.

Jaxon's full lips curl into an ornery smirk. "Yeah. Who's saying that I won't?"

I snort a laugh and roll my eyes. "I don't think it'll be considered kidnapping if I'm a willing participant."

His eyes darken and his smile broadens into something more than ornery. It's disturbing and makes him look evil. "I hope you remember that, little sister."

"What?" For a split second, I think that he's going to kill me. I shake it off because that's a stupid thought. It's hard to do, but I manage.

"Just saying," he says, and turns back to his motorcycle.

It's quiet between us for a while as he tinkers with his bike and I watch, more transfixed by his hands than what he's actually doing. I move my leg out of nervousness. Also because of the need to move since taking these meds. It's been hard to stay still.

It draws Jaxon's attention back to my thighs, and the same hungry look I've seen on his face multiple times makes an appearance. Even though it's a little cooler tonight, I still wore my fishnets and black shorts paired with a shirt to match. It shows off my legs and thighs, which is like a beacon for my brother.

"Can you teach me how to drive this?" I blurt.

Jaxon finishes up and arches his brow at me. "You want to learn how to ride it?"

I nod, holding my breath and expecting him to say no.

The gears turn in his head, and I hope he's considering it. His smile rips the air from my lungs, and I swear the heavens open up and a choir of angels sing. Fuck me, he's beautiful. Especially when he smiles—which is rare for others to see .

"Sure," he says.

I perk up. "Really? Right now?"

Jaxon stands and holds his hand out for me, then helps me up. "I'll teach you the gears, but I won't have you ride tonight."

I pout. "But I want to ride you." My eyes widen. "I mean, ride your bike."

The corners of his lips creep up in a deviant smile, and he leans in to whisper in my ear, "Oh, don't worry, sis. You'll be riding me soon."

I squeeze my thighs together to stop the fluttering between them.

"Others are around," I say. "I don't want them to hear us."

"Is that an invitation to fuck you somewhere we can be alone?"

My heart bangs against my ribs, and I shift my weight on my feet, unable to get comfortable. I glance at the group still hanging out by the fire. There's no way they can hear us, but my paranoia doesn't care.

"Let's change the subject," I say, and turn back to him. "Can I at least ride it around here?"

"What, my bike or my dick?" He touches my hip, and I swear my soul leaves my body.

"Seriously?" I mutter. My cheeks warm with a blush.

Jaxon grabs his helmet and shoves it into my hands. "Put this on."

My eyebrows pinch together. Is it just me, or does he seem angry? Why is he angry?

I don't fight him. I just do as he says. He puts on his helmet and gestures for me to get on his motorcycle.

"Hey, man!"

We turn at the same time to face Aiden as he jogs up to us with an excited smile. "Are we riding? "

"Teaching her how to ride," Jaxon says loud enough for us to hear through his helmet.

His clipped tone definitely sounds angry.

Aiden turns his friendly smile to me. "Seriously? I can help."

"No. You stay here," Jaxon says. He points at me, then stabs his finger toward his bike.

I dart past him and straddle the seat, expecting him to show me how to drive it while he's behind me, but he shakes his head. With a sigh, I scooch back, giving him room to sit in front of me.

Jaxon turns the ignition and revs the engine to a growl. I shiver at the sound and how it brings good memories. Every one of them involves Jaxon.

"You're no fun," Aiden yells over the noise.

I give Aiden an apologetic look that's pointless since he can't see my face. Wrapping my arms around Jaxon, I hold on tight as we take off. A strange feeling compels me to look at the others still sitting at the fire, and I find Ryder staring at me with a strange expression that I can't put my finger on.

I squeeze my legs on the seat, holding on to Jaxon for dear life as we speed down the road. Every time Jaxon leans into a turn, I join him so we aren't thrown off balance.

My hold on him tightens, his muscles contracting beneath my touch. When we straighten, I slowly drag my hands under his shirt and touch his bare skin. The motorcycle screams louder and jerks us forward faster as Jaxon changes the gear. I grin and lower my hand to his pants. Working them undone is a challenge, but I manage. I slip my hand in and bite my bottom lip when I find him hard. His piercings bump against my palm as I awkwardly stroke his shaft.

I've missed this so much—missed him so much while I was in the hospital. The only complaint I have is not seeing his face while I jerk him off. It may be stupid to do this while we're literally riding a death bike and going over one hundred miles per hour, but I trust my brother with my life.

The ride is short, and we pull into the other side of the hiking trail with a gazebo and picnic tables. Jaxon cuts the engine, and I let go of him and glance around. We remove our helmets and set them on the bike.

"Why did we come out this far for you to teach me ho—" I yelp in surprise as he roughly cups my cheeks and crushes his lips against mine. I walk backward as he guides me to where he wants me. I move on instinct, my arms winding around his shoulders and holding him close to me.

I missed this so much, too. Being alone with him and giving in to our uninhibited desires. We can't do that at home. We can't hold each other and make out or give head. I mean, we can, but we risk being caught.

"You fucking tease," Jaxon murmurs into the kiss as he picks me up. His arms lock around me so I don't slip and fall from his grasp.

I squeeze my legs around his narrow waist and smile as much as I can while his mouth moves against mine. "You're a tease, too," I say breathlessly.

"I'm gonna fuck you, flower." He grabs my ass, his fingers curling between the crack. I shudder and rock my hips against him. "I'm gonna take your ass first, then later, I'll fuck your tight pussy."

A moan slips out of me, and I pull back enough to take a deep breath. "I don't think that's a good idea."

Everything we do together is my first time. If he couldn't slip his dick inside my pussy, then how the hell will he manage that with my asshole?

"It's a good idea," he murmurs, then harshly kisses me. It's the complete opposite of how he talks to me. "I want to know what my sister feels like when she's squeezing on my dick."

"I don't know if you can fit that inside me."

"We' ll make it fit."

He settles me on the picnic table and leans back to remove my clothes. I gasp as he jerks me with his rough movements. I peer into his eyes, and my mouth dries at the wild look in them. Time slows as he takes off his clothes, then jerks me off the table and turns me around so my back is to him.

"Jaxon, wait," I breathe.

He bends me over, shoving between my shoulders. "You have no idea how badly I've wanted to do this with you."

Why can't it be my pussy? He enjoys eating me out, so I thought he'd go for that first, then work me up to ass play. "Does it have to be my ass?"

"Yes."

I wait for him to explain why, but he doesn't. He molds his body against mine. His hand curls around my throat, and he turns my face toward him for a brutal kiss that makes my knees weak.

A lid pops open, and I tense.

"Just the lube, flower," he murmurs.

He greedily swallows the moan that escapes me as he shoves his knee between my legs, spreading them wider and parting my ass cheeks.

I crack open my eyes, finding him already looking at me as he leans his head back.

"What if someone finds us?" I ask.

"No one will find us." He drizzles the cold lube on my back hole, then sets the bottle on the table next to me. His fingers prod me, massaging the tight ring. "Relax."

I gasp as he slowly inches his finger past the ring of muscle and stretches me.

"Oh, god. It hurts," I whine, and try to escape his fingers.

Jaxon stills and grabs my shoulder, holding me in place. He doesn't move his finger, letting me get used to the weird feeling. Then I figure out how to make this better. I grab his free hand and shove it between my legs, showing him to touch my clit. He's a fast learner and rubs his fingertips between my folds.

He groans. "So wet for me."

My worry over being caught fades away until my focus is solely on him and how he makes me feel. He sinks his finger deeper in my ass, slowly thrusting it to loosen me, then adds another digit.

A strangled noise that sounds like a dying cat escapes me. Colorful dots pop behind my closed eyelids as the tickle in my lower stomach reaches down to my curling toes. An orgasm builds like a snowball rolling down a hill. I scream as it hits me and takes me to a higher dimension with my head in the clouds.

Jaxon's lips cover mine and he swallows my sounds, greedy for each one as he works me through the climax, milking me for everything I have.

I grab the edge of the picnic table and hold on while he adds a third finger, then a fourth.

"You're doing so good for me," he murmurs, his lips brushing against mine.

"I want you." I reach behind me to grab his dick. A shiver runs through me at his low moan, and he fucks me harder with his fingers.

"My nasty girl. You want my dick inside you?"

I nod, panting and unable to form words as he keeps me in this constant state of bliss.

Jaxon slips his fingers out of me and pours more lube on my stretched hole, then his dick. He strokes himself and lines the head up with my back hole.

"This is it, Dahlia," Jaxon says with a growl as he fists my hair to hold me where he wants me. He jerks me up from the table, with my ass still stuck out in a curved position. "We're really doing this. "

I dig my nails into the wood, unable to feel pain from potential splinters burrowing under my skin.

I push back into him. "Just please fuck me already."

Jaxon's fingers tighten, and he snarls as he pushes into me. He glides in smoothly after leaving my back hole gaping from his fingers. My eyes widen from the stretch and the uncomfortable feeling of fullness. He takes up every space inside me, and then some. Every piercing he sinks into me rubs against the tight ring of muscle, making me taste colors. I tremble from an orgasm already edging in.

"Goddamn." He slams the rest of the way until he settles to the root.

I scream and squeeze my eyes shut from the blinding pain of being stretched so wide that I think I might tear—if I haven't already. Jaxon isn't small. Add the piercings on top of it, and it's uncomfortable but feels so fucking good. I realize I might have a thing for pain because of how wet I'm getting.

"It's too much," I cry. "Fuck, it's too much." I don't think I mean his size—which, yes, it's a lot—but the overwhelming feeling of euphoria.

"You can take it, baby."

He alternates between flicking and pinching my clit because I think he knows how much I enjoy being hurt. My tense muscles relax, and I become pliant in his hold, accepting him and everything he gives me. He drags his cock out, then slams it back in. His tempo is slow but hard, gaining speed with each thrust.

"Fuck me, sis. You're taking me so well. It's like we were made for each other."

We move as one, as if we've done this thousands of times before. Our bodies meet echoes in the space around us, and I no longer care if someone finds us like this. We can't stop until we see it to the end. He strips everything away from me until there's nothing left .

He touches me with small strokes on my lower back, then flicks my clit. He murmurs my name with praises, like he's worshiping me, no matter how rough he is. His focus is solely on me and making me feel good rather than seeking his own pleasure and leaving me behind.

He uses my body like it's an extension of himself, knowing exactly what I need and how I need it. I won't be the same after this, and I don't think he will either. We've crossed the line between right and wrong, and it's too late now to turn back.

He changes his tempo from slow and hard to fast and punishing. I keen as my climax rips through me, shattering more of the barriers I hold in my mind. Any guilt I've felt is wiped away and replaced with the overwhelming need to never let this die. I need my brother just as much as he needs me.

Jaxon moans louder, and his hips brutally slap against my ass. His dick jerks inside me as he climaxes, filling me with warm cum.

I groan as he lets go of me, his dick slipping out of me. Slumping against the table, I tremble from the mini, post-orgasm shocks. He's quiet, and a thousand reasons why that might be fly in my mind, each one getting worse than the last. Did I do something wrong? Is he done with me now that he fucked me?

Peeking over my shoulder, my anxiety bubble pops when I find him staring at my ass with reverence. His cock throbs like a heartbeat as he recovers from his orgasm. I don't know if it's normal for a man to still be hard after having sex, but Jaxon is at full mast, with cum leaking from the pierced tip.

Slowly, he raises his gaze to my face, showing a glimpse of what he plans to do before he's on his knees and spreading my ass cheeks. His mouth latches onto my pussy, his tongue flicking my clit. I drop my head forward and shudder as another small orgasm takes over .

Jaxon moans, and the vibration takes me higher. After I come down, he pulls away and stands. I squeak as he roughly turns me around and his lips smash against mine, forcing me to taste myself on his tongue. After the brief kiss, he rests his forehead against mine.

"I love you," he says huskily.

My stomach flips and I wind my arms around his shoulders. "Wow, I must've really blown your mind if you're telling me that after what we just did."

He huffs a laugh and tightens his arms around me. "I've been wanting to tell you for a long time."

He buries his nose in my sweat-damp hair and breathes me in. A shiver rolls through him, and his cock jerks against my stomach. There's no way I can do this again tonight.

"I love you too," I whisper, and kiss his shoulder where it meets his neck.

Jaxon groans. "Don't do that."

I lean back, my eyebrows pinching together. "I thought you like me touching you."

He scowls. "That's the problem, flower. I like it too much."

"Oh."

He shakes his head and pulls away. I follow his lead by picking up my clothes and then dressing.

"Now, about teaching you how to ride..." Jaxon leads me to his bike.

He shows me how to work the brakes and gears, which confuses me. While he shows me the gears again, a powerful pull to look up takes over me. I turn my head and search through the darkness. Then I stiffen.

A shadowed figure walks behind a tree, fading into the darkness only two hundred feet away from us.

I don't know who it is or how much they saw, but I shut down, unable to focus on anything Jaxon says. My mind goes straight to the demons I've been seeing, but the figure I saw looked human.

Jaxon turns to me and follows the direction of my gaze. The figure is already gone by then, and I can barely breathe.

"What is it?"

"I think someone saw us together," I say.