Chapter Nineteen

A fter Jaxon "punished" me—if we're going to call it that—I've been on autopilot. Every nerve ending is a live wire, and Jaxon is the water creeping closer to electrify me. Throughout the night and into this morning, I randomly remember how it felt when he touched me and how his cock tasted beyond what I could have imagined. It didn't taste like candy or whatever weird description I've read in fanfics. He was musky and salty from his sweat and arousal, but with a hint of his body wash. It's Jaxon, and I love it so much because I love everything about him.

I lower my manga paperback and stare at the wall across from me as the realization dawns on me.

I'm in love with my brother.

Oh fuck, I'm in love with him .

If I was standing right now, my legs would give out from under me at this startling discovery.

When did I fall in love with him?

Thinking about it, it may have been the day he stood up for me in the cafeteria. He needed me then, just as much as he needs me now.

"Dahlia."

My eyebrows furrow as I glance toward where the voice came from.

No one's there.

I turn in my seat and search the living room for the person who said my name. The TV is on low volume, so it could have been that.

Letting out a calming breath, I return to reading my book, but I can't focus on it.

"I know. I know." Mom's voice carries from the front of the house and gets closer. "I'll figure something out for that day. It's Dahlia that complicates things. I swear, she's never happy with anything."

I sit straighter in my seat and make a nasty face at the audacity of my mother's words. A moment later, she walks past the doorway and her steps falter when she spots me.

Yeah, I'm glad she's nervous now that she got caught talking shit about me.

I glare at her, and she rolls her eyes before she disappears into the kitchen. She lowers her voice, but not enough.

"She doesn't know about the Reckoning," Mom says.

The Reckoning?

I sit at the edge of my seat and strain to hear her.

"My husband prefers she doesn't know. Mhmm. Yeah, I agree. As much as she's too much to handle, I don't want her getting her hands dirty."

Too much to handle? Get my hands dirty?

A piece of my soul, a piece that I thought had already broken, shatters into tinier pieces. At this point, what else can hurt me? I didn't think her saying I'm too much would have hurt, but it does. She might as well have stabbed me in the chest and twisted the blade .

Rocks. Stupid. Airhead. Weird. Loser. Freak.

All the insults thrown my way as a kid rise to the surface. I wince, wishing I could forget everything and start over.

How dare she. This isn't the first time she's painted me as this horrible person. She's told her friends that I'm lazy and a slob, when really, I'm having a hard time holding a job and figuring out what I want to do with my life. As for being a slob, I'm embarrassed as it is that I can't pick up after myself. It's exhausting when all I want to do is relax with a book or doomscroll on social media.

I'd like to confront Mom, but that will end with me in tears. Not that I'm not already fighting them back.

I've been nothing but a broken doll to her for all of my life. Over the years, she's made her true feelings more obvious. I'm the puppet and she's the master who controls everything I do and feel. I wish I could move on and avoid getting hurt by her, but that's harder than it looks.

The front door slams shut, followed by heavy footsteps approaching the living room. Jaxon walks in, phone out and his fingers flying over the screen as he types out a text message.

I swipe my tears away so he doesn't see them. My mom may be a bitch, but I don't want Jaxon to let loose on her because of something so stupid.

As if he's connected to me and knows exactly where I am at all times, he turns his gaze to me and stops walking. He cocks his head and narrows his eyes. Whatever he's seeing, it angers him, and his nostrils flare. His gaze drops to the paperback in my lap, then rises back to my face. His eyebrows pull together as he tries to figure out whatever is going through his thoughts.

"Flower," he drawls.

Oh god, he's about to play twenty questions with me.

"Shh." I hold my finger to my lips as I listen to Mom, who still chats in the kitchen as she closes the cupboards way too hard.

Jaxon frowns and slips his phone into his pocket while he walks toward me. He stops when he hears my mom, and I barely make out her saying how hard dealing with my lack of employment has been.

She may as well talk about me right in my face, since she's not trying too hard to be quiet.

Jaxon's shoulders tense, and he glances toward the kitchen. Anger clouds his features, casting shadows over his face. His eyes lose focus, and the situation becomes serious.

I fly off the couch and throw myself at him. Jaxon's lips pull into a snarl, and I catch him right as he turns.

I squeeze my arms tight around him to stop him from storming into the kitchen. "Stay with me."

Jaxon jerks in my hold, and I squeeze tighter. I rest my forehead against his chest and breathe through the anxiety.

"Please." I gently kiss his pec, which makes him pause. "Just hang out with me."

He relaxes, and I can finally take a breath without feeling like I'm about to burst. He hugs me tighter than what's normal, as if he's trying to pull my broken pieces back together.

"I'm gonna kill her," he mutters, then sweeps me off my feet. With a sharp intake of air, I hold on to him while he carries me to the couch and folds himself on it, settling me on his lap.

"It's not that big of a deal," I say, and kiss the base of his throat.

Jaxon fists my hair and jerks my head back. His lips crash against mine, and he swallows my startled yelp. I freeze for a moment, panicking over being caught, but his fingers tighten in my locks in warning when I try pulling away. He shoves his tongue past my parted lips and tangles it with mine. After a moment, I melt into him and return the kiss with fervor.

Kissing him is similar to a battle for dominance. Sometimes he gives me a taste of what it's like to overpower him, but at the end of the day, he's the one in charge.

He doesn't care about getting caught. My mom can walk in the room at any second and see us in this position. I imagine all the things she'd say, and each imagined dialogue ends with me losing my thinly veiled control over my anger toward her.

Jaxon's free hand cups my breast under my shirt, and he pinches my nipple through my thin lace bra. He greedily swallows my every sound and ignores me shoving him. If we don't end this now, it'll escalate into something I really don't want our parents finding out.

"Stop listening to her lies," he murmurs into the kiss.

"Stop." I push him again, this time with more force.

Jaxon's lips curve into a smile against my mouth. He pulls away, far enough to look at me, but still crowds my personal space. "Make me."

My cheeks burn with a blush. I get the sensation of my stomach dropping as he raises his hips to grind his erection against my ass. My vision becomes hazy with desire, and now all I want is him.

The tiny voice of reason in the back of my mind yells that we aren't alone. My mother is literally in the next room.

Even with that knowledge, I roll my hips, moving with him like we're making love. His face slackens, and his full lips part with a quiet moan.

"Someone could walk in," I whisper.

"So?" He grips my love handles and pushes me down harder on him. I buck back and forth on his erection, taking my time and enjoying the feel of him and how his eyes lose focus.

"We'll get in trouble. "

Jaxon clenches his jaw. He thrusts harder, making my pussy clench in need. "We're adults, Dahlia."

"We're siblings," I say breathlessly. "Mom will?—"

Jaxon grabs my hair and jerks my head backward at an uncomfortable angle. He leans forward until his mouth is next to my ear. "She's dead. What she says and thinks won't matter for long."

For a moment, I forget how to breathe. Once upon a time, I would have passed off what he said as a figure of speech, but I've learned that Jaxon never lies.

I loop my arms behind his neck, hoping it'll be enough to rein him in. "Don't hurt her."

Our bodies still move together, uncaring that we're talking about life and death.

Jaxon kisses the sensitive spot right under my ear. He nips, licks, and sucks, drawing out more of my whimpers like a thirsty man who craves a sip of what I can give him.

"I won't hurt her," he says, and I sag with relief for a second before he continues. "I'm going to kill her. And our dad."

I freeze. "You don't mean that."

Jaxon smiles against my throat, enjoying my fear. "I told you long ago. Cry, little sister, and I'll kill them all for you . Do you not remember?"

"I remember," I whisper.

Mom's heels clack on the kitchen floor and get closer. I scramble off Jaxon's lap, wincing as he grunts when I accidentally knee his dick. He brushes his hand on my bottom and thighs but doesn't make any other sound. I put space between us and grab my manga paperback to rest on my lap, hoping it'll look like we weren't just dry-humping each other while making out.

Annoyed at the interruption, Jaxon spreads his legs wider to hide the hard outline of his erection. He side-eyes me, and there's still a gleam of mischief in his gaze and a quirk in his lips.

Mom enters the living room. She's not on her phone anymore, and her focus goes to Jaxon first. Her annoyed expression softens for a moment, then returns when she looks at me. If she can get any sourer, the owners of Sour Patch Kids will call her.

"We're having a getaway for a few days." She keeps her voice flat, which is nothing new. Either she ignores me, snaps at me, or she's devoid of any emotion.

My fingers curl into my paperback, bending the corners of the thin pages. "When?"

"Next week," she says, and hesitantly peeks at Jaxon. She's nervous around him, and rightfully so. He has a short fuse and will attack if anyone tries anything with me.

"Why next week?" I know the answer. If Dad doesn't want me here during the Reckoning, then that must be why Mom is taking me out for a getaway. I just want to know more about it and why I can't be here.

Jaxon pulls out his phone and opens the screen. He pretends to be engaged with that to make it seem like he doesn't care, but he's listening. He's always listening.

Mom sighs. "Can I not just spend time with my daughter?"

My lips thin as I hold back the sarcastic laugh bubbling in my chest. I can mention the Reckoning. I can also bring up how I'm too much and wouldn't want to weigh her down during a fun getaway, but that will make Jaxon snap.

"I don't know, can you?" I say instead.

A ghost of a smirk tugs at Jaxon's lip, but the rest of his face stays blank. His approval gives me the serotonin I need after hearing the shit Mom said ten minutes ago.

She rears her head back as though I slapped her. Mom struggles for words and keeps looking at Jaxon like she's waiting for him to step in and defend her. He disregards her completely, focused on scrolling on his phone. I inwardly preen over that. I'm glad he's not giving in to her theatrics.

Mom clenches her jaw. Her lips part as she's about to spew venom aimed to hurt me. She pauses, and a weird, unfamiliar expression crosses her face.

"What is that on your neck?" she says.

I touch my throat and stupidly look down to see what she's talking about, but obviously, I can't see anything.

Mom bends at the waist to get a closer look at my neck.

"Is that a hickey?" Her lips flatten and her nostrils flare with every angry breath she takes. "Are you seeing someone and letting him dip his hand in your cookie jar?"

I cringe at her use of the weird analogy instead of her outright asking if I'm having sex.

"Mom," I say in disgust, and cover my neck with my hands. Jaxon must've given me this hickey before she came in here. Thank god she's not smart enough to notice the difference between a new hickey and a fading one.

Jaxon peeks at me from the corner of his eye with mischief and pride.

Mom doesn't notice since her attention is still on me, and she slaps my hands away from my neck. "Did you sleep with him, Dahlia?"

I lean into the sofa to escape her outstretched hands. I don't understand why she always feels the need to touch my bruises. "I didn't sleep with anybody. Besides, I'm an adult. What I do is my business."

Mom gives me an oh-really look.

"That's bull." She straightens to her full height, folds her arms under her breasts, and gives me the bulldog expression that I so badly want to laugh at. "I'm telling your father about this. "

The shit-starter side of her makes an appearance. How lovely.

My face relaxes, and every part of my body follows suit. My vision tunnels, and I briefly wonder if this is what Jaxon experiences when he blacks out. His presence is the strongest. He's the cord tethered to me, keeping me here instead of allowing me to disappear into the clouds.

"Do you have nothing to say for yourself?" Mom asks as she taps her finger on her arm. When I stare blankly and don't answer her, she turns to Jaxon. "Do you know who she's seeing?"

He stares at his phone, his thumb swiping along the screen in slow strokes. "Yeah."

I hold my breath, wishing it's enough to slow down my racing heart as I sit on the edge of my seat.

Mom waits for him to give more details, but when he doesn't, she huffs. "Well, who?"

"So you can fuck him too?" Jaxon peeks at her from beneath his lashes.

Her face reddens with an angry blush. "What kind of question is that? I just want a name."

"Why?" He pauses for a second, dragging this out and building the tension. "You've seen Dahlia as your competition for as long as I've known you. Anything she does, you try to do better."

"That's not true!" Mom shouts.

Jaxon raises an eyebrow. "Yeah? Those green streaks in your hair are just because you felt like it? After you got on her ass about dyeing her hair, you immediately went to the salon. What about the time she painted a scenery piece? You decided to take up painting and rub your abilities in Dahlia's face, saying how much better you are."

He's noticed all of that? I mean, I know he knows everything, but down to the little details ?

Mom sputters, grasping for something to say.

Jaxon adjusts his hips, getting more comfortable in his seat. He looks back at his phone as he says, "So now that Dahlia is seeing someone, I'm sure you'll try to fuck him and rub it in her face about how you're a better lay." He smirks. "I promise you'll be like the equivalent of fucking a fish. He won't be interested in you. He'll also more than likely tell your husband all about your infidelity."

It's so quiet that I can hear the wind blow through the trees beyond the floor-to-ceiling windows behind the couch.

"If that's what you think of me, then I'm sorry you feel that way." Mom glares at me. "We're leaving early in the morning on Thursday. Pack light." She storms out of the room, and the moment she's gone, I let out a shaky breath. The bedroom door slams shut.

I stare straight ahead, absorbing everything that happened.

This whole time, I thought she hated me just because. But she sees me as competition? I don't believe that. There's no way...

"I meant what I said," Jaxon murmurs. He stuffs his phone into his pocket.

"Which part?" I say.

His lips curve into a dangerous smile that sends a shiver down my spine. "All of it."