19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

~ Addi ~

" T his is it, our last day at sea," I whispered, wrapped up in James's arms. And that thought was so depressing.

I didn't want it to end. Or rather, I didn't want to walk away.

But I wasn't sure how to make it work. Sure, over the course of the last few days, it's been a topic on repeat in my mind. However, no solution. Though it pained me, I was going to go with the fact that the fates were saying this was nothing more than a fling and I was to let it go. Let him go.

I would like to go on record, that I thought the fates were also stupid.

"You're doing an awful lot of thinking."

I licked my lips as I nodded my head at his statement. He wasn't wrong.

"Random thoughts all filtering through."

"Tell them to give you a break. You deserve it."

"If it only listened. Does your mind ever stop when you tell it to?" I shifted so that I could look at him. He smirked at the question, knowing it didn't. "Exactly my point."

"Fine, you win. I get it." He paused, his fingertips running over my arms lightly and I traced the movement with my eyes. "Can I ask you something, Addi?"

"Sure, what is it?"

"You don't have to answer, but have you thought about the case? I mean, I know she's going to try to get whatever she can, but I'm just curious if you happened to think about it, or change anything?"

I sighed. I had thought about it. Being with him had changed my mind. He really wasn't the dickhead she made him out to be. And the talk of the prenup sounded pretty solid. It was going to be the mountain I was going to tackle when I got back into the office, but I wasn't so sure I could now.

And why was that?

Because I believed this was a man who was smart, calculated, thought about the process, and how to make it work for everyone involved. I had no doubt he would have done the same for his own future. Though I wanted to pick apart the prenup and find the loophole, I was going to go with my gut and say there wasn't one.

Which left me in a sticky situation. Because for me to win this case, I needed something solid to help her, to show that she was wronged, that he did her dirty, and that she was entitled to everything she was asking for.

But there wasn't anything. Nothing. Zilch.

And after spending this time with him, I was more inclined to believe he was a good one, and she was out for blood. For whatever reason. Maybe she was just that vindictive and wanted to ruin his name. And if that was the case, I wanted nothing to do with her. Because that's not the type of person I was, and that's not the reason I took on this case.

Which left me at a crossroads.

I had never, in all my career, walked away from a case. I've never stopped in the middle and said, ‘won't do it'.

I just couldn't see myself going on though.

"I think, James, a lot has changed since you and I both stepped on this boat. I think there's a great many things I need to look into when I get back." I ran my fingers through his hair as I smiled at him. "I can't discuss a lot with you, you're not my client. But I will be truthful with you and say I don't think I'm going to see you in court."

He took my hand and kissed my fingertips.

"I don't want you to jeopardize your livelihood for me, Addison. Promise me, you won't."

"I won't, James. I'm also not the type of person to compromise my integrity."

He tilted his head slightly as he regarded me, almost as if he was trying to read the message behind my eyes. Maybe over the two weeks, he had picked up on some things and he would be able to see that my will to fight for his ex had dwindled. Or maybe he would see that being with him had changed things.

Either way, he wouldn't be wrong.

"I just want you to be happy, Addi."

Why did that simple sentence break my heart in two?

Why did he sound so torn up over it, as well?

"Thank you." I moved my hand down to cup his cheek and then pulled him in for a soft kiss. These were going to be the tender moments I treasured.

I turned back in his arms, and we watched the sunset. These were the final hours on the boat, and I hadn't thought about spending them anywhere else but with him.

The day had been perfect. We had breakfast with our friends, then we spent the whole day lounging by the pool. Finally had a late lunch, and then found a secluded spot where we could cuddle and talk.

And there was a lot of that. Even things I hadn't found out throughout all our time together. All of it just made me wish even harder to find a way to make things work with him.

We watched as the stars came out one by one. And watching a full moon from the bow of a ship was unbelievable but seeing all the stars was downright breathtaking. Everywhere you looked, there were brilliant dots lining the sky.

As I stared up, I saw a shooting star, and just like I was a little girl, I made a wish for a solution to come forth before I walked off this boat. Because I was pretty sure my heart had done the one thing it wasn't supposed to, and that was fall for him.

Hours later, we lay in the same spot, still talking through simple ideas and projects, laughing at the silly things we had planned or wanted to do. And we watched in silence as the golden hues of the sun streaked over the horizon and we saw the land come into view.

Within minutes, we would be docking for good, and nothing had presented itself.

Within minutes, the ship's horn would be blowing, letting us know it was time to leave.

I didn't want to. I didn't want to get off this chair, get out of his arms, and walk away. I just didn't want to.

"I don't regret it," he whispered, and I looked at him, fighting back the waterworks.

"I don't either," I whispered back. His hand grabbed the back of my neck, and he pulled me into a kiss. It was just as intense as any we had shared. It was just as passionate. It also had all the feelings in it as well.

Everything we couldn't say verbally, we shared in that kiss.

And my heart broke into a tiny million pieces.

This wasn't fair.

The horn blew and we heard the workers as they lined up with the pier.

I had to be the strong one, I knew that. So, with a power I didn't know I had, I gave him one last soft peck and then stood to go to my cabin.

I didn't look back, I couldn't. Even when I grabbed my suitcase and headed down below ship to leave. I didn't look back until I knew I wouldn't see him. Then I turned and looked at the spot we were at, knowing my wish was never coming true.