Chapter Two

Denton

For March, the weather was seasonally warm and the sky was bright as I exited the shop with Nana, having to take a moment for my eyes to adjust.

"Nana, were you spying on me?" I asked, keeping my voice low, not wanting anyone to overhear.

Gently, I hooked my arm through hers to guide her across the road and away from Sweet Haven. Away from Victor and the ever present temptation to flirt with him.

"Why do you think that?" Her smile gave her green eyes a sparkle that proved that she was indeed spying, probably for Mom, and hadn't been after the chocolate she'd bought. Those same eyes stared at me in the bathroom mirror and mine could match hers for mischief.

"You heard me and Mom talking about Vic, didn't you?" I didn't sigh, my family were all up in each other's business, I'd have wasted my energy. It was how they were. I loved them, but it could get a little frustrating when I was attempting to work out a way to untangle myself from Nese without hurting her feelings so I could go after Victor.

Late at night, I could recall how his eyes had looked when I'd first seen him. The devastation of his appearance had tugged right at my heart. That day he'd captured a bit of me and hadn't let go. He'd been so vulnerable and fragile, the attraction had taken a back seat to my need to help him. Then life had kind of moved along and I placed myself in the friendship column and into a rut which had formed into a deep barrier I hadn't found a way out of.

Then recently, I'd noticed that Victor was showing an interest in dating again and it brought with it a stark reality. I wanted the opportunity to find out if Victor would be interested in me.

"That boy is a sweetheart."

Having zoned out for a moment, I cocked my head, taking a second to fathom out what she'd said, then feigned ignorance. "What boy?"

"The one you were making cow eyes at." Her short, bobbed gray hair swung around her lined cheeks as she gave me a look that said to stop messing and give in to her.

"I was doing no such thing!" I exclaimed. Was I?

Damn it all, I was.

I got a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach and regret quickly followed. I didn't want to hurt Nese; we had dated casually for a long time and I didn't want to upset her. The day I'd gone into the chocolate shop to ask her out on a date, three years ago, had changed my life. Problem was, it wasn't Nese who made my heart leap, it was a blond with the haunted eyes. But Nese was a nice girl and fun to be around, so I'd dated her. For me, it had never been serious. I'd purposely laid out that I wasn't looking for serious when we'd started out and made no promises.

The dates with her continued, but that initial reaction to Victor never lessened. Now I could see I'd been unfair to both of us. And this was where my dilemma came in because over the past few months I wanted to let Victor know I was interested, but I'd not discovered a way to tell Nese and somehow I'd taken a misstep, and she was making noises about us moving in together. That was when I'd gone to talk to Mom, needing some insight.

We had a relationship where I could, and often did, talk through what was on my mind. Only Nana had arrived in the middle of the conversation and must have heard more than I'd realized. Her next words confirmed my suspicion. "Did you let that nice girl down gently? And I'm sorry, sweetheart, but you most definitely gave that boy cow eyes."

I sighed heavily, looking around us to see if anyone was close enough to hear the conversation. The street was busy, which was not unusual at this time of day. "I've arranged to meet Nese at my place tonight so we can talk, if you must know."

"Now don't go using that snippy tone with me. You aren't too big for a spanking."

I rolled my eyes, laughing at her empty threat. She used her disapproval better than any weapon to spank me. "Sorry. But you're being nosy, Nana."

"Interested. I'm interested, is what I am." She poked her nose in the air like I'd offended her, but I didn't miss the light in her eyes showing her delight.

"Let's go with that." I saw no point in arguing with her. I'd never win and it would only give folks a chance to listen into the conversation. "Do you need a ride home?" I asked, changing the subject.

"Day off?"

"Yep." I winked at her. "And I couldn't think of anyone better to spend it with."

"Sweet talker." She paused at the next corner to hit the button for the crossing. "I've got a hot date."

I jerked at the comment, my eyes widening at the statement. Widowed about ten years ago, as far as I knew, she'd never considered dating anyone else. "A date?" I questioned, sounding like a frog croaking out the words.

"Why, yes. That nice Mr. Halls from the supermarket is taking me for lunch at that new Italian place down on Fourth Street."

"He is?" I asked, flummoxed to have not heard about this situation from anyone else in the family.

She tapped my arm as she unthreaded hers from mine. "Don't sound so shocked. I've still got it." She tucked her purse under her arm, smiling widely. "Now I don't want to be late, so I'll let you be and find out later from your mom what happened with Nese."

The light changed and she was off down the sidewalk before I could get my tongue in working order.

Nana was going on a date.

Holy shit!

My concerns about what came later fled as I dug out my cell phone and rang Mom. "What's this about Nana going on a date?" I asked before she could even say hello.

Her laughter burst from the speaker, deafening me for a moment. "She told you."

"She did! How did this happen? In fact, I don't want to know… shit, Nana and a man. Yeah, forget I called." It was too scary a conversation to be having with Mom, with the possibilities of her answers. Yeah, I'd been foolish to ring.

Rumbles of laughter continued as I stopped rambling. "You finished having a freak out?"

"Yep. I'll see you later." I pressed ‘end call' before she could slip in information I didn't want and just missed crashing into a passerby when I turned the corner to head in the direction of where I'd parked. Nodding an apology, I strolled on, my thoughts rolling back around to what I was going to say to Nese.

Whatever it was going to be, I had a feeling it would not be easy, and that was all my fault!

~/~/~/~

"I'm so sorry, I don't want to hurt you. I hoped that when I said I didn't want more than what we had, you got I was being serious. I know this isn't what you wanted to hear," I continued, feeling like I was making matters worse. I'd gotten flustered initially and lost track of what I was saying.

"Are you for real?" Nese stared at me like a creature from the Black Lagoon and I have to say I didn't blame her. My attempt at softening the blow had come with a meal and a bottle of wine which, in hindsight, I could see had given the wrong impression.

Reaching for her hand across the table, she snatched it away and sat back in the seat. The lights danced over her pale complexion. "I am." I wanted her to hear my sincerity. "I like you Nese, I really do. You're fun to be with, but I'm not in love with you. I never have been."

It was hard to remind myself that I'd been honest with her when, in fact, I'd given her hope by continuing to hook up with her.

A scowl formed on her brow, and her eyes narrowed, pinning me to the seat. "Have you been in love before? Do you even know what it feels like? I love you, Den." Her eyes welled with fresh tears and my throat thickened with emotion.

I hated hurting her. That I had caused her pain. But honesty was the only way forward, and it's what I should have given her months ago. "Yes, I know what it feels like to be in love. To have those all-consuming emotions for someone. Wanting to be with them every waking moment. To want to know what they're doing and be excited to see them again." As I spoke, all I could think about was Victor, right or wrong.

A tear rolled down her cheek, cutting me off at the knees. She swiped at it in an angry motion. "You're in love with someone… now. The way you're speaking, it feels like it's in the present, not the past," she accused.

It took a moment to get my heart, which had jammed itself into the back of my throat at how accurate she was, to behave and allow me to swallow. I had feelings for Victor, only I wasn't sure love fitted, despite how deep my emotions went. "I don't want to hurt you—"

She came forward, pushing her plate towards the center of the table. "It's too late for that. You have. And you're right, you never promised me anything. That's all on me for being silly enough to think that you'd change your mind." A disheartened sigh followed. "So who is it?"

There was no way to avoid answering when I wanted to date Victor. I inhaled, exhaled, and met her distressed stare. "I'm interested in Vic."

Plates and glasses rattled on the table as she shot up, her hands waving about. "I knew it!"

I stilled, unsure how to take that comment when she actually looked pleased with herself. "You did?"

She plonked herself back in the seat as if she were a balloon that had just popped. "A feeling I got when you stared at Vic." She rubbed at her damp eyes. "I'm not totally blind, I know when someone is attracted to someone. I remember how you were with him in the beginning, but I set it aside when you asked me out, convinced myself I'd misread the situation, but I hadn't."

It was a statement, but I felt compelled to answer. "I was attracted to you. Only with Vic it's… different." It was. He was more than a passing fancy, I just wasn't sure how much more.

A weak, trembling smile appeared as she reached for her glass of half-drunk wine. "There's more than general attraction. Something deeper."

I nodded. "I really am sorry." This time I reached out to her, she took my hand. "I never meant to hurt you."

She sighed. "I know." Her fingers clasped mine. "Vic's a great guy. You have good taste."

It lacked enthusiasm, but I took it as a win and squeezed her fingers gently. "I picked you too," I added, winking at her to attempt to lighten the mood.

Her giggle was wet, although I saw it as a win. "That you did." She took a large gulp of her wine. "So, when are you going to ask him out?"