8. Teddy

Do I want to be on a game show I have no idea about in front of an audience? No. But Jamie seems excited and the enticement of prizes always makes things more interesting. It's why everything is gamified and the lottery gets to such high numbers. I'm more of a chess guy, but I can't deny Jamie when he looks so happy.

"Do you think we dressed alright? I hope this won't involve slime or getting dirty."

"I looked earlier, they have laundry on board if needed."

Jamie's answer doesn't reassure me. At least he's similarly dressed in the only pair of slacks he packed, a short-sleeve button-up shirt, and boat shoes. We're on a cruise, so they can't expect too fancy. It's not a job interview.

"Should we have studied?" I whisper, following him into the theater space, which is bigger than I expected for the mid-size cruise ship.

"Studied what? We don't know what the game is," Jamie points out as we walk down an aisle toward the stage.

Magic spots us, and I see the stage set-up behind him. There is one podium to the left, and the pairs of chairs to the right. "You made it! Thank you for joining us, I knew you would be the perfect fit!"

Although I want to point out that he sounds like an overenthusiastic cult-leader, I keep my mouth shut. We take the steps on the side up to his level and he explains what we'll be doing next.

"Mr. Horowitz, you're going to stay here with me, and Mr. James," he turns to me just as a spotlight is turned on, and I shield my eyes. "You'll go backstage to wait."

"Oh, okay," I nod and follow another worker to the wings where they outfit me with a microphone. The poor girl tries to reach for my shirt and I almost smack her. "Sorry. I can do that. I didn't know it was this big of a production."

"It's our big game night," she tells me in a thick accent. "You have fun."

An older man I recognize from our first night on board comes around a curtain with a middle-aged woman. He grins, "Our final competition? Try and beat us, kid"

The woman giggles, "Didn't you say you were on your third marriage? How long have you made it with this one?"

"Six months, but this one is gonna stick," the white-haired man waggles his eyebrows. "I finally know what I want."

She scoffs and holds out her hand, "Hi, I'm Mirna."

"TJ," I reply, taking her hand for a firm shake.

"And I'm Donald Klein, but everyone calls me Donnie." The older man shakes my hand with both of his. He reminds me of my grandpa on my dad's side, always smiling.

Before we can say any more, the same woman as before comes to tell us we will be introduced soon. I can see another older guy, a woman about Mirna's age, and Jamie are seated on the stage with a chair between each of them. Magic walks up to the podium and takes the mic.

"Welcome to the main event! We have three couples ready to compete," Magic's words give me pause as people clap. He hadn't said anything about it being for couples, only that we competed in pairs. I momentarily forget that I will be standing in front of a crowd as I process his next words, "Are you ready for the Newlywed game show?"

Meeting Jamie's eyes, he gives me a guilty look and shrugs. Dammit, Jamie, what have you gotten us into this time?

"First up, we have a couple bears, the Kleins," he introduces the man on stage nearest him and Donnie joins from offstage. I can hear cheers as the men meet and kiss. "Donnie and Marty have been married a few months, and both are on their third marriages, but they say the third time's a charm!"

My breath starts to shallow, and I hope I'm not bright red. How are we supposed to pretend we're a married couple compared to actual married couples? Jamie might be able to play it off, but I am not so confident.

"Next up…Sally and Mirna Estes-Fritz," Magic continues and I barely hear his words. "Married….weeks….blended….five children."

People clap for Mirna, who bends her dark-haired wife back for a deep kiss. Fuck. Will we have to kiss? I've never kissed a guy, let alone my best friend. Jamie kisses me on the cheek or the top of the head sometimes, but that's different. And not so public. I don't have time to gather my wits before Magic is moving on.

"Our final contestants are two sexy young men in law school, sorry boys. Welcome the James"s!"

The crowd cheers for us as I walk out, and I'm thankful the stage lights obscure everything past the first row. I stumble on the corner of Jamie's chair and he catches me. Holding me close enough to whisper in my ear, I imagine it will look like an embrace to everyone else.

"Sorry, Teddy. We're mic"d."

Nodding as I step back to take my seat, I find a whiteboard and marker there. Jamie has a stack of white posters on his seat, and we pick them up to sit like the other couples. We may not really be newlyweds, but I'm more anxious about not knowing what happens next. I don't have to wait long.

"The three on stage earlier already wrote down their answers to some questions about how well they know their spouse. Or don't know them," Magic winks at the audience with a broad grin as they all laugh. "Y'all get to be in on the fun as each of the couples must correctly guess what their partner answered to earn a point. Are we ready to have some fun?"

The audience cheers, and I can make out some empty seats. At least it's not a packed theater. Jamie reaches out and squeezes my upper arm, lending me some support. I can tell he feels bad, but there's no getting out of this now.

"First up, an easy question: Who snores more?"

The audience titters as I sit there and listen to the upbeat music playing from hidden speakers. To my right, Mirna's partner is peeking at her poster to check her answer, and I see Mirna and Donnie scribbling away on their boards. Crap, I have to write something.

Since I've never heard Jamie snore, and he has complained about mine, I scribble "me" on the board with the dry-erase marker just as the music stops.

"Time's up, reveal what you wrote first, then your partner will share if you got it right."

From my angle, I can't see the other's answers, but I hear Donnie's husband muttering under his breath as Jamie sighs in relief beside me.

"Now, show your answers," Magic instructs, and the three up them lift their first signs up. Magic narrates, "Only one team got it correct, first point goes to the James"s!"

"Really, Mir? The dog? You snore like a train," Mirna's wife complains.

"So does Donnie," his husband adds, and the audience chuckles.

It's surreal to be part of what's making them laugh, and to know we got one right. At least we didn't bomb.

"Second question, erase your boards and tell us, who is messier?"

This time, I don't hesitate.

We reveal our answers and Donnie seems annoyed to be called messy, but Mirna and her wife both put their children, so that gets a laugh. Jamie called himself out and we win another point.

The third question is who asked whom out first, and I panic and put myself. Jamie puts himself too, which makes more sense, but now we're tied with the wives. The husbands have one point on the board.

Despite not wanting to lie, I'm competitive by nature, and except for the question about being asked on a first date, I haven't had to lie at all.

"Now the real question…" Magic waggles his eyebrows. "What is your partner's nickname for you?"

Do I put Teddy, or something else?

Side-eyeing Jamie, I see he has that look when he's trying not to show his hand. We played poker in the frat, and I was the only one who could tell when he was bluffing. This time I feel like he will be going for the shock factor and he's trying not to give it away.

When it's time to reveal our answers, I feel my face heat. Mirna's wife calls her Mama, but she wrote babe. Donnie's husband calls him Daddy-Bear and their answers match, and I'm left holding—

"Oh my," Magic fans himself as the audience roars. "Sugar-dick has to be my favorite answer ever."

All I can do is shrug and erase my board quickly as Jamie drops his sign with the same words beside his chair.

"Time for our final question!" Magic waits for the audience to calm down before putting it out there, "Who wants to get randy in the bedroom, more?"

Swallowing hard, I can't look at Jamie or anyone around me. I know it's him, but the thought of him getting…that, in the bedroom with me is enough to have my face on fire again. Maybe the blush never really went away, but we both know Jamie is the hornier one of the two of us.

We reveal our answers and I hear both of the other partners groan. They hold their pre-written answers up and Magic calls out, "We have our winners!"

Confetti blasts from behind us and I'm stunned as Jamie grabs me and jumps up and down with my arms pinned to my sides, "We won, Teddy!"

My first instinct is to feel proud. We won a game we didn't even understand going in. But then the guilt sets in. We won, and we're not even a real couple.