44. Aurora

44

AURORA

W e flew through the blackness of space in silence because I had nothing more to say. Also , I was crying too hard to speak. The reality of the situation was finally hitting me and all I could do was weep.

My body already ached for my husband— The Need was pulsing through me, making my grief even more unbearable. I wanted Slade’s arms around me! I needed his big body against mine—needed to fill my lungs with his warm, spicy scent that made me feel so safe. I wanted to look into his golden eyes and tell him that I had been wrong—that I loved him.

Because I did love him—so much! I had been fooling myself before, thinking I was just beginning to fall for him. Only now, when everything was falling apart, did I acknowledge the truth of what Jessina had seen right away. I was desperately in love with Slade and it was too late to tell him.

It wasn’t until Rive took us through a space gate that I finally made myself ask some questions.

“ Where …where are you taking me?” I croaked, my voice hoarse from sobbing.

“ Back where you came from— L’Crist ,” he answered, keeping his gaze on the ship’s viewscreen. “ You’re lucky, you know—the penalty for breaking the vows you took in the temple is usually death.”

“ Death ?” I stared at him in horror. “ For making one mistake?”

“ It’s a pretty big mistake, breaking the vow you took to conceive the next Chieftain’s heir,” he said, his face stony. “ It’s an insult to his manhood. Not to mention a big ‘fuck you’ to the entire Clan .”

“ But I never meant it to be anything like that!” I protested. “ I would never, ever?—”

“ But you did,” Rive said bluntly. “ You’re just lucky my boss is being merciful— I think he really loved you, you know?”

There it was again—the past tense. It was like a stab in my heart every time I heard it.

“ Please ,” I begged him. “ You can talk to him—please just tell him I’m sorry! Tell him I love him! Tell him?—”

“ He’s already forbidden me to ever speak your name again,” Rive said. “ So I can’t tell him anything.”

And that was that.

I didn’t say another word until we landed in the courtyard of the palace. When he opened the ship’s passenger door to help me out, I couldn’t put it off any longer.

“ What about The Need ?” I asked in a low voice, not meeting his eyes. My cheeks were flaming as I spoke— I didn’t want to have this discussion with anyone but Slade but I was apparently never going to talk to him again. “ If he leaves me here with no way to…to deal with it, I’ll die. I’ve already had Need Fever once, if it comes on me again and Slade isn’t here to help me?—”

“ The Boss thought of that. Here .” Rive swung me down from the ship and shoved a small brown box into my hands. “ Don’t open it until you’re alone,” he advised me.

Then he went around and climbed into the driver’s side of the ship. I was left standing there, holding the box and watching as he flew away… and with him, all my hopes for the future.