37. Aphrodite

37

APHRODITE

Getting stabbed hurts like a bitch. I do not recommend it. Maybe I should have agreed to the extra pain meds the nurse insisted on, but my brain is already foggy from whatever they gave me to keep me under during surgery. I’m alone in this hospital room, and virtually helpless. I’m not going to make it any easier on someone who wants me dead.

Gods, I’m tired.

I close my eyes. Just for a moment. Just to give me a break from spinning my mental wheels trying to see a way forward. It feels like I’ve been churning for my entire life and yet I’m really no better off than I was as a child.

All the freedom I fought for. All the power. And yet here I am, once again the target of the violence I fought so hard to escape. It’s not the same as growing up in my father’s house. It’s not remotely the same.

I feel just as trapped.

The door opens and I jolt. “Fuck, that hurts.”

I expected the nurse, or maybe a doctor. I didn’t expect my brother and my husband to enter the room without bloodshed. They both look like shit. Perseus probably hasn’t slept in days. Theseus has blood stained in the creases of his fingers.

I have never been so glad to see two people in my entire life. My lower lip quivers, and I can’t seem to make it stop. “Is that blood?” My voice comes out strange. I want to blame the drugs, but I feel small and weak and unforgivably glad to see my husband. “Are you okay?”

He looks down at his hands and curses. “I thought I got it all.”

“Shitty at your job as always, Theseus.”

I glare at my brother. I know his bitchy attitude spawns from worry, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to lie here and let him drive the wedge between me and my husband any deeper. “He is Hephaestus, and you will refer to him as such.”

“No, he’s really not.” Perseus says it without any inflection. “He resigned his title less than an hour ago. It was all very dramatic.” He glances at Theseus. “While I appreciate the tip about the ships, you were too late. They were unloaded sometime last night. Poseidon has no idea what was inside them.”

“You have all the resources of Olympus at your disposal. I’m sure you’ll figure it out.”

The words don’t make sense. Not the resignation, and not whatever ship they’re talking about. I know I should care about the latter, but I can’t get past the former. “You resigned?”

He gives Perseus a dirty look and rounds the hospital bed to sink gingerly into the chair next to me. “I have some things to say, but I’ll wait until this puffed-up parakeet leaves.”

My brother crosses his arms over his chest. “I left my sister alone with you, and she’s been almost shot and successfully stabbed. Anything you want to say to her, you can say in front of me.”

Theseus’s jaw goes tight, and I can’t help tensing. The tiny movement sends a fresh wave of pain through me. I should have expected it, but it catches me by surprise and I whimper. He looks back at me and takes my hand. “Do I need to get the nurse?”

“No.” My voice is hoarse. “No, I’m fine.”

He narrows his eyes. “You refused more pain meds, didn’t you?” My brother starts cursing, but neither of us look at him. Theseus squeezes my hand slowly, almost like he’s not sure if it’s the right move. “We’ll talk, and then you’ll take your meds, Eris. Promise me.”

“It’s not safe,” I whisper.

“I’ll watch over you. No one will get close.”

It’s a testament to how weak I am right now that I want to look into those words, to mine them for proof that he cares about me as much as I’ve started to care about him. I close my eyes for a moment, fighting to think instead of just feel. It doesn’t work. I’ve been in a state of fight or flight for days, and my body just gives out and goes limp with relief knowing he’ll stand between me and anything that comes through the door. I wet my dry lips. “What did you want to say?”

He leans forward, as serious as I’ve ever seen him. “I’m done with this city and its power games, with Minos and his bullshit. I’m done being a weapon. Your brother is right; I resigned from the Hephaestus title.” He gives a self-deprecating grin. “I think we both know I was shit at it, and the cost is too damn high.”

“But…” I find myself gripping his hand as if I have the strength to keep him with me. If he isn’t working for Minos and isn’t one of the Thirteen, there’s nothing to keep him in Olympus. He hates this city; he’s never been shy about expressing that. “You’re leaving?”

“What? No.” He shakes his head. “Pandora’s not going anywhere, and I can’t really picture a life without Adonis. Not anymore.”

I give a trembling smile, all too aware of who he didn’t list. It’s okay. I married him for politics, not for love. For power. Funny how that rings so hollow right now when my heart feels like it’s turning to dust. “Adonis does have that effect on people he cares about.”

“Yeah, he does.” He looks down at our linked hands. “Besides, you’ve more than proven you can’t protect yourself. If I’m not Hephaestus, there’s only one target in our household, and I think we can figure out a way to keep you safe.”

There’s not enough air in the room. “What?”

Theseus squeezes my hand again, surer this time. “You’re my wife, Eris. I haven’t wanted to strangle you in nearly a week. That’s love, don’t you think?”

“Don’t joke. Not right now. Not about this,” I whisper. There’s a horrible burning in my throat and behind my eyes. I am a Kasios and we don’t cry. I instantly make a liar out of myself when something wet slips from the corner of my eye.

“I’m not joking.” My brother scoffs, but Theseus just leans closer and lowers his voice. “I won’t pretend I know what proper love looks like. I’m just feeling my way. I want Adonis in my life. At my side. I want the same with you. I want you to feel like you can be with Pandora, too.”

It’s too good to be true, and yet all I can see are pitfalls. “We’ll never be safe. The city is coming down around us, and Minos isn’t going to stop.”

“He’s not going to stop,” he agrees. Now, he finally looks at Perseus. “Find out what he had in those ships and you’ll get an idea of what he’s planning. He’s going to continue to destabilize the city. Probably has something up his sleeve for the barrier, too. The enemy isn’t at your gates today, but you can bet your ass they’ll be there the second they can get access to the city. At the rate you’re going, there won’t even be a fight. They’ll show up, off you and whoever is left standing, and take over. All they need is a good story and the public will welcome them with open arms.”

“I am aware,” my brother bites out. “If you have nothing more to offer by way of information and you’re no longer one of the Thirteen, what’s to stop me from making you disappear? You’ve caused me and this city nothing but problems.”

“No.” It hurts to raise my voice, but I do it all the same. “Don’t you dare.”

He looks frustrated enough to rip out his hair. “You know the cost, Aphrodite. The city comes first. Before our personal happiness. Before everything. That man is a threat to Olympus, and he needs to be removed before he can cause more harm.” When I just glare, he curses. “Even if we don’t kill him, you have to get a divorce. You’re Aphrodite. If you’re married, you need to be married to someone with power. If he’s not Hephaestus, he’s no one.”

He’s right. I hate that he’s right. I stare at my hand linked with my husband’s. Right now, the thing to do is free myself and declare that I want a divorce. To rise from the ashes of this catastrophic relationship and set my sights on someone who will help stabilize the power structure in Olympus as much as possible. One of the scions of a powerful legacy family. Someone who will be firmly in my pocket and whose alliance will benefit the city.

I…don’t want to.

Theseus runs his thumb over my knuckles. “Aren’t you tired of being a weapon they pick up and use until it’s beaten and broken? I sure as fuck am. You’ve sacrificed so much for this city, and the first thing they do to thank you is try to kill you and take your power for their own.” His voice goes low and fierce. “They don’t deserve you, Eris.”

“Shut the fuck up,” Perseus snaps. “You don’t know what you’re talking about. What we’re trying to accomplish.”

“Trying and failing from where I’m sitting.”

“Stop it. Both of you.” I don’t yell, but they both obey. I look at my brother, at the blatant evidence of the price the city demands written across his face. He won’t bend, and he won’t break, but he might do exactly as he threatened and turn into the monster the city requires.

If someone asked me a week—even a few days—ago, I would have said I have the same resolve as Perseus. That I’m willing to pay whatever price Olympus demands as long as the city benefits. Maybe I was naive, but I never expected the burden to be so heavy. “What if I wasn’t Aphrodite?”

Perseus flinches. “Aphrodite—”

“Her name is Eris.”

I don’t look at Theseus, even as my heart feels like it just sprung wings. Instead, I hold my brother’s gaze. “We can’t lose Helen as Ares—she’s too formidable and she’s proven to be a good fit—and you’re Zeus. But with three of us in the Thirteen, it’s put some of the legacy families on the outs with us. We need them if we’re going to unify and survive this.”

“Don’t.”

I clear my throat. “I won’t pretend this isn’t selfish, Perseus.” I gingerly touch the bandage on my stomach. It was very foolish to skip those pain meds, but at least my mind is clear. Even if it feels like I’m free-falling. “I’m so tired. I was suited to battles of public perception, not ones with guns and knives.” My throat burns and I swallow a few times. “Please don’t make me do this. Please.”

“Oh, Eris.” He’s at my side in an instant. He doesn’t take my hand; we’re not that kind of family. But he does shift down until our faces are even. “I’m not him. I won’t make you do anything.”

Him. Our father.

Against my best efforts, another tear slips free. “I’ll still help.”

“I know.”

“I might be able to do more this way.”

His lips curve the tiniest bit. “I expect nothing less.” Perseus’s attention shifts to Theseus for a long moment. “I want formal resignations from both of you on my desk by the end of the week. The sooner, the better. It will take some time to get the Hephaestus competition moving.” He nods at me. “Do you have a successor picked?”

I hadn’t, but in the end, it’s the easiest choice in the world. “Sele. They’ve worked for the Aphrodite office for as long as I have. They’re formidable and good at their job, and they come from the Baros family, which is one of the ones who’ve been waffling over recent events. It will bring them back into the fold.”

“Very well.” He straightens. “I’m glad you’re okay, Eris.” Perseus drags a hand through his hair. “I’m also selfishly glad that I won’t have to worry about more attempts on your life if you’re no longer Aphrodite. No one’s getting close to Ares with Achilles and Patroclus in the way.”

“And you?”

He gives another of those small smiles. “I can take care of myself.” Then he’s gone, slipping out of the hospital room and leaving me alone with my husband.

I can’t quite believe what just happened. All my life, it felt like I was heading in a single direction, reaching the pinnacle of the Thirteen and then using that power to serve the city that is my home. It’s silly to think that I don’t know who I am if I’m not Aphrodite—I held the position for less than year—but I feel a bit empty.

Maybe it’s shock.

I swallow hard and look at my husband. “Did you mean it? All of it?” It seems impossible that we’ve reached this point, considering where we started. The small, political part of my brain whispers that I need to release his hand, to take away any indication that I might care just as much as he does, but I ignore it.

We will always have power for the sake of who we are, but that doesn’t mean it has to own us and our actions. We get to choose now. I want to choose him. To choose Pandora and Adonis.

I want them to choose me, too.

I want Theseus to choose me.

“You know I can’t lie worth a damn.” He grins suddenly, the expression light and almost giddy. “I know we’re not free, but fuck, it feels like it.”

I slowly realize that he’s right. That strange emptiness is a weightless feeling I barely know how to comprehend. It’s as if I’ve been carrying around an anchor for most of my life without realizing that setting it down was an option. Without it, I feel like I could fly. “What about—”

The door opens again and Adonis and Pandora spill into the room. They rush to my side and there are several chaotic minutes while they try to ensure I’m okay and Theseus finally brings everyone up to speed.

It’s…nice. Really nice.

This isn’t what I thought my life would be, but I can’t deny that having the three of them here feels so right I might cry. Again.

Pandora presses my knuckles to her lips. “I’m so glad you’re okay.”

“Me, too.”

Adonis stares down at me, dark eyes serious. “You really mean to resign as Aphrodite?”

There’s a wealth of history and pain in that question. Why am I doing it now when I wouldn’t have done it for him alone? Why did I take this position in the first place? It’s hard to meet his eyes. “Yes. I…” I take a deep breath. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry for all the pain I put you through, and I’m sorry for pulling you into this mess.”

“Speak for yourself.” Theseus still looks downright giddy. “I’d do it all again and then some to end up here.”

Adonis nods slowly. “You were right before. We weren’t quite a good fit with just the two of us.” He looks at Theseus. “Maybe things needed to play out this way to get us here.”

It’s such a purely Adonis thing to say that another damned tear slips free. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.” He clears his throat. “Let me go find the doctor and see if we can make a plan for getting you home.”

Pandora turns to Theseus. “You really mean it? You’re resigning the title and cutting off Minos?”

Some of his joy dims a little. “You’ve been saying I should find my own way for years. I should have listened.”

Far from condemning him, she laughs. “One day you’ll finally admit that I’m smarter than you and also have better perspective.”

“Yeah.” His gaze tracks to me. “You saw the value in Eris before I did.”

“Yep.” She takes my hand again. “Gods, but I’m happy that you’re okay. I was so fucking worried.”

Far be it from me to miss an opportunity. I give her a sweet smile. “Does that mean you’re moving in? Both of you?”

“Yeah.” Theseus laughs. “Yeah, where the fuck else would I go?”

Pandora raises a single brow. “This isn’t going to be one of those things where I move in with you and you suddenly expect monogamy, is it?”

“No.” I shake my head. “I meant it when I said I won’t try to shove you into a box. I can’t pretend there won’t be hiccups and missteps, but if you want to bring people back to the apartment—”

“No,” Theseus cuts in. “It’s a security risk.”

“If you want to bring people back to the apartment,” I talk over him, “then that’s more than fine. I want it to feel like home to you, whatever that means.”

Pandora snorts. “Theseus looks like he’s about to hog-tie me, so let’s table this discussion for later.”

“Deal.” The fact that there will be a later is still processing. I touch my bandage again. I’m alive. More than that, I have a future that I barely dared dream about. One I thought completely impossible for me.

Adonis slips back into the room and gives us a quick update. We’ll be here for a bit. Apparently stab wounds aren’t something you can just check out of a hospital with the same day you’re admitted…especially if they’re stomach wounds.

“Eris.”

I focus on Theseus. “Yes?”

“You don’t have to.” He looks markedly uncomfortable, which means he’s about to try to be sweet or comforting. “Resign, I mean. I can’t pretend I know your whole history, but you fought hard to get that title. You shouldn’t have to give it up.”

That’s the thing. It doesn’t feel like giving up anything. It feels like a release. “You said Minos made you feel like a weapon. My father did the same.” Gods, why is this so hard to say? “I’m done being a weapon for other people. I’m not going to pretend I won’t keep fighting for Olympus, but I…don’t want it to be this way. Or the way I was. I want something else. I want you. All of you.”

For the first time in my life, I want love.

Not power.

More, I can have it. With these three. Together.