17. Adonis

17

ADONIS

There is no scenario where fucking Theseus is a good idea. I should have turned him away when my doorman called up. I certainly shouldn’t have answered the door without a shirt just to see if he’s as affected by me as I am by him.

Even then, I’d half convinced myself that it would end with a conversation…then with the kiss.

Until that look in his eyes when I wouldn’t let him hurt himself to bring me pleasure. That shocked and almost awed expression. As if no one has ever stepped in for his benefit before. It doesn’t make sense. Surely he has people who care about him.

I can’t afford to be one of them, but that doesn’t stop me from wanting to guard this soft part of him I’ve been shown unexpectedly.

Now, standing before him while he sucks down my cock, I’m lost. I half expected him to go about this the same way he seems to go about everything—quick and efficient. Instead, he teases me as he explores my length with his mouth. Sucking me down one moment, easing to achingly light movements around the head of my cock, then licking down to my base and back up again. The pleasure leaves me helpless to do anything but dig my hands into his hair and hang on. “Fuck.”

Hephaestus—Theseus, whoever the fuck he is right now—eases back the tiniest bit. I don’t have a chance to protest. He catches my chin and drags me down until our faces are almost even. “I like you. I have no fucking business liking you.”

Before I can respond, he shoves two fingers into my mouth. Theseus holds my gaze as he fucks my mouth with his fingers, pressing deep enough to have me gagging around him. My grip spasms in his hair. Gods, why is this so sexy?

Just when I think I can’t handle it another moment, he eases his fingers out of my mouth. “Say my name when you come. My real name.” He descends on my cock again and, this time, he’s not playing around. He presses his fingers, wet from my mouth, into my ass.

My brain shorts out. All intentions to be careful disappear. My body takes over, my hips rolling to fuck his mouth, to fuck myself on his fingers. “Oh gods.” I can’t catch my breath, can’t slow down, can’t stop. My orgasm is coming too quickly, but there’s not a single thing I can do about it. “Theseus.”

He growls around my cock, the vibrations only making me come harder. My knees buckle, but I manage to keep my feet through sheer desperation. If I fall now, I lose the feeling of him drinking me down.

Theseus lifts his head slowly and presses a kiss to my stomach. “Good boy.”

The praise spoken so gruffly by this scarred warrior buoys me in a way I’m not prepared to deal with. He eases his fingers out of me and leans back. “That was a good start.”

“I…” There’s nothing to say, is there? “Bedroom.”

“Yeah.” He nudges me back and rises. “Let’s go.”

We take a quick detour to the bathroom for him to wash his hands, and then I lead him down the hall toward my bedroom. I pause long enough to wonder what he thinks of it. My apartment isn’t particularly large. There’s only me here, and I don’t care to keep up with cleaning a bunch of rooms I don’t spend time in.

I’m a bit of a snob when it comes to my bedroom, though. My mattress is top of the line and my sheets have the kind of thread count that used to make Eris tease me with a wicked look in her eyes.

No.

I’m not thinking about Eris right now.

I ignore the ache in my chest and start for the window to close the curtains. Theseus’s hand closes over my shoulder. “Wait.” His free hand skates down my spine, stopping at the small of my back. “I want to fuck you, Adonis.”

“I want it, too.”

“Do you need to prep?”

I flush when I realize what he’s asking. Part of me wants to pretend I don’t understand, to deny that I even considered it a possibility we might get to this place tonight. I swallow my pride and rasp, “We’re good.”

Theseus gives a low laugh that makes my skin tighten. He steps closer, pressing against my back, his cock a hard length against my ass. “You really are a good boy, aren’t you?” He kisses the back of my neck. “Got yourself all ready for me.”

The contrast between his mouth soft on my skin and his fingers digging into my shoulder makes me moan. “Yes.”

He coasts his hand from the small of my back to my hip and jerks me closer. “Tell me what you like.”

I don’t exactly mean to lean back against him, but it’s like he’s got a gravitational pull of his own and I’m helpless to resist it. He drags his hand from my shoulder and down around to my stomach, splaying his fingers out and holding me in place as he keeps kissing my neck. I’m hardly in my early twenties, recovering in the space of seconds, but my cock twitches all the same.

“Adonis,” he murmurs against my skin. “Tell me.”

The truth is that I’m not entirely certain I’d dislike anything he does to me. I don’t know how I got to this place, but it feels so good to let my brain click off and my body take over. To submit, just a little, and let someone else shoulder the worries that have plagued me for weeks.

Even if they’re still there, lingering at the edges of my mind, along with my broken heart and far too much anger.

I will not think about her. Not now. Not in the midst of this.

He nips the spot where my shoulder meets my neck and the words spill out. “I want it slow.”

Theseus’s hand on my stomach shakes, just a little. “You really are the little romantic, aren’t you?” I can’t help tensing, waiting for derision or mocking, but he just sounds as faintly wondering as he looked earlier. He sets his teeth against my skin. Not quite a bite, but it makes me jump all the same. “You want me to fuck you like I love you.”

“I didn’t say—”

He spins me around and then his mouth is on mine. Gods, but I could get addicted to the way this man kisses me. This time it’s soft and slow and, yes, like he loves me. I know it’s a lie, but I can’t stop myself from sinking into it. Theseus will never be mine, not in reality, but I’m so damn tired of reeling after Eris’s moves that I’ll take the illusion of it.

Even if it’s only for tonight.

Theseus backs me toward the bed, keeping us tightly pressed together. It’s a little awkward, but that only heightens the way he takes my mouth like he owns me. My legs bump the mattress and he presses me down. “Lube?”

“Nightstand.”

The weight of him is gone in an instant. He moves to where I indicate and pulls out the bottle of lube and a handful of condoms. When I raise my brows, he shakes his head slowly. “This might not be true any other time, but tonight you’re safe with me.”

A lie.

He’s just playing into the fuck me like you love me thing. That’s all. But that doesn’t stop my chest from going soft in a truly worrisome way. “Okay.”

He pushes me back onto the bed, flips me onto my stomach, and settles on top of me. The weight of him does funny things to my head. Theseus, in general, does funny things to my head. I know he’s not for me, could never be for me, but he’s so refreshing in a way I never expected. Blunt and harsh and, strangely enough, awkward and kind.

“You’re thinking too hard.” He presses an open-mouth kiss to the back of my neck. The scrape of his beard against my skin makes me shiver. “Second thoughts?”

“No, nothing like that.” I reach back to where he has one hand braced on the bed beside me and lace my fingers through his. “Don’t stop.”

“Okay.” He trails kisses down my spine. I know this isn’t real—or at least isn’t anything realer than lust—but Theseus’s touch feels downright worshipful.

This is what I asked for.

I know. I know. But that doesn’t change the fact that it feels real.

“You really are perfection, aren’t you?” He blows lightly on the skin damp from his mouth. It’s such a light touch, a direct counterpoint to his weight pinning my lower body to the mattress, that I have to bite back a moan. Theseus skims his fingers over my side. “Gorgeous and strong and loyal. Enough ambition not to be boring, but not so much that you’re trampling over the people around you.”

Each word feels like he’s reaching into the direct heart of me. “Theseus—”

“Too much?” There’s a smile in his voice, and I suddenly want to see it on his face.

I twist and he moves back enough to allow me to turn over. And there it is, a faint curve of his lips. This smile is different than any he’s given me to date, though. It warms his dark eyes, twinkling in their depths. I lift a shaking hand and cup his jaw.

This isn’t real. It isn’t—

He kisses me, sweeping away what’s left of my resistance. I cling to him as he retreats a little, but he’s only grabbing a condom. He sits back on his heels and looks down at me as if he wants to memorize this moment, imprint it right down to his bones.

This man, this monster, this enemy…

He’s all business as he rolls on a condom and picks up the lube. He pops the cap and pauses. There’s a question in his gaze, but he doesn’t voice it. He doesn’t have to. The pause is inquiry enough. I cover his hand holding the lube and guide him to squeeze a bit onto his free hand. His resulting smile is more of a grin—and a crooked one at that.

Oh gods, he’s charming when he’s not snarling and glaring.

“A gift,” he murmurs.

“For me or for you?”

“Haven’t decided yet.” He coats his cock with lube and then spreads a bit more down my ass.

Theseus calls me perfect, but the sight of him leaves me breathless. I feel like so much of my strength is in theory, marked out in clear boundaries to keep me safe. I work hard…in the gym. I’m ambitious…but only to a point that doesn’t put me or the people I love in danger. I grew up in a loving home with two parents who would cut off their own hands before they raised them to me. What discipline I received was tempered with love.

Not like Eris, who might be physically unmarked, but wears her scars on her soul.

Not like Theseus, the things he’s survived written across his brown skin. And those are only the things I can see on his physical body. There are more beneath the surface; I only had to have a single conversation with him to know that.

All that strength to keep moving, to keep surviving…

He leans forward and presses his cock to my ass. Slow. So devastatingly slow. This time, he doesn’t ask me if I’m good. He doesn’t need to. I’m moaning and writhing for him, trying to take him deeper even as he controls the pace.

It seems to take forever for him to sheath himself to the hilt. Theseus caresses my thighs, a gentle stroke that makes me whimper. He grins in response. “I like it when you make that sound. I like that I’m the one to do it.”

Not real.

The words feel as insubstantial as mist. I can barely keep my eyes open, but I refuse to miss a moment of this. It won’t last. It can’t last. But we have right now, and right now is more perfect than I could have dreamed. “More,” I whisper.

He doesn’t answer with words. He simply starts moving inside me, one smooth withdrawal followed by an equally smooth stroke. It’s so good and yet not enough. I reach up and grab his sides. It’s on the tip of my tongue to beg him to kiss me, to not stop, but I don’t manage to get the words out before he anticipates my needs.

Theseus hooks an arm under my hips, lifting me to him even as he descends to me. Our chests are slick with sweat and the delicious friction is almost unbearably good. I wrap my legs around his waist and kiss him.

Time ceases to hold meaning. There’s only the thrust of his body into mine, the slide of our bodies together, his taste on my tongue as our breath mingles with each broken kiss.

When we finally collapse to the bed, spent and exhausted, the line between reality and a pretty lie has blurred until it’s unrecognizable. Especially with the way he strokes a hand down my side and presses a kiss to my temple.

It might not be real…

But it feels a whole lot like love.