Chapter 5 - Zander

The next morning, Zander's feelings were still sore. Layla's words had cut him deeper than he would ever care to admit. And though the bonfire had kept him up late, just as it did every full moon, he found himself rising early after being unable to sleep. All night long—or at least for the two and a half hours he had been in bed—he felt as though he had been half-awake and replaying the events of the night over and over.

Why do I keep doing that? He wondered. He had always been a teaser. It was in his nature, and yet with Layla he seemed to go above and beyond. It was an impulse that he simply couldn't control.

And it was beginning to piss him the hell off. Grumbling to himself, he dressed and headed downstairs to the kitchen. After over a year of careful renovations, the house on the hill was finally a home, one that he and his original packmates still occupied and had become the hub for the entirety of the new pack. Though Jack had moved out to share a little more privacy with his growing family and now resided in one of the large townhouses at the bottom of the hill, Zander found him at the kitchen island.

Two coffees were steaming in front of him, as if he had been awaiting him purposefully.

"Everything alright?" Zander asked. "You and Bonnie have your first fight?"

Jack scoffed at that and shoved one of the coffee mugs toward Zander. "I think it was you and Layla to have your first fight last night, wasn't it?"

Zander cringed. If even Jack had noticed from his little bubble of family bliss, then it was likely that the entire pack had witnessed what had happened last night.

If Layla had been any other she-wolf, they'd likely have teased each other a little, gotten heated and ended up in the forest having sex. It had happened more times than Zander could count. And yet, where she was concerned, he always seemed to go a little too far. And besides, the thought of having sex with Layla Keely didn't make him feel at all like it did with anyone else.

And that scared him. He decided it was best not to think about it at all if he could help it.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Zander blurted. It was all he could think to say. And he knew it was ridiculous the moment that the words left his lips. Jack's deep scowl only confirmed it.

"Sit," Jack ordered in a deep, alpha-like commanding tone. Zander gritted his teeth. He hated it when his best friend used that tone with him. Sure, he was his alpha and he had always been above him in pack hierarchy, even when they had been children in their home pack, but they had been friends for as long as he could remember, and it never quite felt right. If he hadn't had so much respect for the man, he might have rejected the order.

Instead, he sighed deeply and sat himself down beside Jack, picking up the coffee to take a long swig in an attempt to give himself a moment's respite from his friend's inquiring gaze.

"What was that all about last night, Zand?" Jack asked after several moments of silence. Zander closed his eyes, taking another swig of his coffee.

"It was nothing," Zander said, shrugging his shoulders. He put the mug down, having drunk two-thirds of it already. He stared down into the mug, all too able to feel Jack staring at him with an unconvinced expression.

"Zander, how long have we known each other?" Jack asked, cocking his head to the side.

Zander gulped. "Practically since birth."

"Then you should know by now that you can't lie to me," Jack insisted. He picked up his own mug and took a sip as if to give Zander a chance to come clean. When he didn't, Jack said, "As your alpha, it's my duty to ensure that everyone in the pack is getting along, and as pack beta, it's your duty to at least try and get along with everyone so I don't have to get involved."

"Nothing is going on," Zander said through gritted teeth. It wasn't entirely true, but what else could he say? He didn't exactly what a clue what was going on himself.

"I think we both know that's not true, Zand," Jack said, and when he laid a hand on Zander's shoulder, Zander struggled not to cringe. "You know you can talk to me about anything, right?"

Zander nodded, because the lump in his throat was growing so large, he wasn't sure he could find the words to speak.

He was grateful to Jack for everything he had ever done for him, helping get away from the old Blackwell pack all those years ago, seeing him safely through their army training and every assignment since then. They had been through a lot together, and Zander wished he could talk to him about this, but the truth was he had no idea what he would even say.

"You know, we aren't in Blackwell Falls anymore," Jack said, squeezing Zander's shoulder.

At that, Zander looked at him, furrowing his brow. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Jack's blue gaze filled with sympathy. Zander's stomach clenched. He hated that look. It made him feel small and weak.

"It means, I know all too well what it's like to fall into the trap of being a bully," Jack said. He sighed as he lowered his hand from Zander's shoulder. "Just look at the mess I made with Bonnie before we were reunited."

"This isn't like that," Zander protested, shaking his head firmly. His entire body shivered with cold fear. "You and Bonnie were fated mates from the beginning, whether you knew it or not."

"Be that as it may," Jack shrugged, looking Zander dead in the eye, "we were raised in such a brutal pack we had no idea of the difference between teasing and outright bullying. Or worse…"

He trailed off, the sympathy in his eyes only growing. The lump in Zander's throat grew with it. He hated feeling this pathetic. And yet, whenever he and Jack had these heart-to-hearts, it was always the same. Jack was sometimes far too wise for his own good, and for Zander's.

"I'm not bullying Layla," Zander growled, though even as he said the words, he felt something odd clawing at his stomach. Was that guilt?

"Even if you were, I'd understand," Jack said. He pursed his lips before he added, "Don't let Bonnie hear me say this, but Layla is pretty hot."

He glanced over his shoulder, almost as if he expected his mate to be standing right in the doorway, ready to give him a good clip around the ear. When he looked back at Zander, he continued, "All I'm saying is that we're out now. There's no need for us to follow in the footsteps of our old pack. This is our chance to become better than they ever were."

Zander gulped. He knew his alpha was right, and yet, he had no idea of where to begin. "Are you trying to tell me I should be nicer to Layla? Because if you are, I'm not sure how nice I can be when she is such a pain in the ass."

Jack clapped him on the back then and laughed. "I'm sure the two of you can at least be civil if you try. You won't have to worry about it for a while, though."

Zander's stomach twisted. "Why not?"

"Layla came to me just before dawn and volunteered for the next messenger assignment," Jack explained. "I'm not sure how long she'll be gone."

Bile choked Zander then, and he just barely managed to keep his composure. He was sure, now; it really was guilt that burned in his stomach, making acid rise into his throat with a vengeance.

He struggled to clear his throat discreetly before he said, "Ah. I suppose that's a good thing. It'll give her chance to cool down."

Jack looked at him with a pointed expression that suggested maybe she wasn't the one who needed time to cool down.

And Zander felt another wave of guilt crash over him. Usually, messengers took a few weeks between assignments, taking time to catch up with family and rest after days or even weeks away from home. And yet Layla had only gotten back to Nightstar during the full moon bonfire the night before.

The clawing sensation in Zander's stomach only grew. Did she leave because of me?