Chapter 25 Shea

I tapped my toes as I sat in the kitchen, my legs bouncing with the nervous movement. I kept glancing at the clock, at my phone, and then picked at my nails for something to distract me.

I finally responded to Caesar's text an hour ago, and he immediately replied, asking to come over. Seeing as Gram was having dinner at Aunt Jeanette's to meet her new boyfriend, I figured I had a long enough window for him to say whatever it was he wanted to say.

But what could it be? If he wanted to end this…whatever we were, he didn't have to do it in person. And I doubted he'd be so eager to end it in person that he would immediately leave the school and come right over. No one was ever that determined to dump someone.

Maybe it was about getting me into the school. Maybe he had news. A new ally among the professors, perhaps?

Or…what if he was coming to tell me that he had spoken to them, and the answer was a big fat fucking no ?

Ugh, my stomach wouldn't stop churning and twisting into knots! Why couldn't we just do a phone call? Save me from all this agonizing catastrophizing?

The doorbell rang, making me jump so high that I practically fell out of my chair at the table. Even though no one saw it, my cheeks still burned with embarrassment as I righted myself.

I shook my head and stood, smoothing my hands down my shirt as I straightened my posture.

Keep it cool, Shea. This is no big deal. Just another Monday evening.

With slow, casual steps, I made my way to the front door, taking my time like I had better things to do. He didn't need to know that I didn't.

When I opened the door, the sight of him made my heart flutter even faster. The stubble on his jaw looked even darker in the shadow of the porch light, and even against the dim backdrop of the night sky, I could clearly see the outline of his sexy, cut-from-stone figure.

"Are you going to invite me in?" he asked after I'd apparently been staring at him for a beat too long. There was a hint of humor in his voice.

"Why, you're not secretly a vampire, are you? You need an invitation to cross the threshold?" I teased.

My joke did the opposite of my intentions, his facial features hardening into an unreadable mask. He must really hate vampires . Oh well, I still thought my joke was funny.

With a frown, I stepped to the side and waved him in. He trudged past me with almost angry steps, and my stomach did a weird somersault as I closed the door and followed him to the living room .

He perched on the left side of the couch, his rigid posture making him look very much the douchey professor I'd nicknamed him after. Maybe he was here to break up with me.

Clearly reading the "don't get too close" sign his aura was giving off, I sat on the armchair across from him.

"Okay, what is this all about?" I asked when I couldn't take the tense silence or his intense stare any longer.

He leaned forward, bracing his elbows on his knees and lacing his fingers in the air between them. "That night I saved you in the alley—"

"Umm, you mean the night you assaulted a poor old homeless man who was probably just going to ask me for spare change?" I interrupted because I was not about to let him think I needed saving that night.

He scoffed. "Whatever. That night, you mentioned having an encounter with a vampire."

My heart thudded in my chest. I definitely didn't expect this conversation to take that particular turn.

I swallowed but shrugged like his non-question was a non-issue. "Yeah. So?"

He bristled, and I could practically see his gryphon feathers flaring beneath his skin. Where was he going with this? Had I been right about him and Julian? Was this just part of some twisted game?

"What happened with this vampire?" he asked.

I didn't see the point in lying about my involvement with Julian. He obviously already knew, and I was tired of worrying about it and second-guessing myself.

"It was a few weeks ago, after that shifter party I got kicked out of," I began .

"Wait, you got kicked out of a shifter party?"

"Yeah. Arya had invited me to see if I could shmooze up to some of her friends, but when they found out I was a witch, they threw me out," I explained quickly, not wanting to relive that particular disaster. "Anyway, I was walking home and realized I was being followed by a vampire. So I led him into an alley and then used this snaring spell my Gram taught me. Like I said, I can hold my own against a vampire."

He nodded, seeming unwilling to argue about that fact. "Okay. Then what?"

I let out a sigh, eager to spill the truth and get this whole ordeal over with. "This vampire actually seemed more man than monster. He said he followed me because he could sense my magic and wanted to offer me a deal. I could use the grimoire he had in his possession if I agreed to use it to bring his lover back from the dead."

I watched his face as I spoke, carefully gauging his reactions. Surprise never crossed it. Which made me wonder, if he already knew, why were we having this conversation?

"I didn't immediately take him up on it," I continued. "Even when he said he had connections to the Dome and could try to get me in. I was raised not to trust vampires. When I turned to leave, he told me about a spell where I could reach out to him if I changed my mind.

"And a few days later, I did. You don't know what it's like to have magical potential and no one willing to teach you how to use it, Caesar. The possibility of finally being able to practice my magic was too tempting to pass up. So I took him up on it. But you already know that, don't you? You're Julian's connection at the Dome."

He nodded, the confirmation of what I already knew satisfyingly validating .

"If you already know all of this, then why are we here?" I asked, wondering if he also knew about the blood drinking. Was that what this was all about? Was he going to accuse me of cheating or something, because, as far as I knew, we weren't exclusive. We weren't anything with a label.

He rubbed his chin, seeming to debate his next words. When he finally looked back into my eyes, his were full of suspicion. "Do you have any other affiliations with vampires?"

I blinked at him, confused by the question. "What?"

"How likely is it that a witch would just happen to befriend the most powerful siren in centuries and be with her on the very night that her mother gets murdered?" he asked, the distrust in his eyes stinging me more than his accusation. "How likely is it that the same witch would form a connection with the director of the best-kept secret in the shifter world and the vampire double agent he's affiliated with?"

The hurt inside me quickly turned into insult and anger.

"You think I'm a spy for the vampires?" I snapped. "You think I orchestrated all of this? Befriending Arya? Sleeping with you? Making a deal with Julian?" I shook my head, barely able to contain my rapidly escalating rage.

"I don't know, Shea," he said, his tone now more pleading than accusatory. "I don't want to believe it, but it's all a little too convenient, don't you think?"

"No, I don't!" I shouted. "And the fact that you could even concoct such a thing, that you could even think for a moment that I'm that kind of person…" I gripped the edges of the armchair, digging my nails into the fabric to keep from losing my cool completely.

"We live in a dangerous world in dangerous times," Caesar said. "With all the people I'm responsible for protecting, I can't take any chances. I just need to know. "

"Fine! No, I'm not a spy for the vampires," I hissed. "No, I didn't weasel my way into my best friend's life because I knew she was the siren of a prophecy I'd never heard of. No, I didn't actively try to seduce you for information— you were the one who kept running into me , I never sought you out. And no, until recently, I had no idea that you and Julian were friends or acquaintances or whatever you are. I'm just a lonely, desperate witch trying everything I can to find my place in this fucked up, untrusting world!"

My chest was heaving when I finally finished my tirade. I was so offended and enraged by his accusation that I couldn't make myself meet his gaze without risking accidentally bursting him into flames.

"I'm sorry," he said softly, his forehead creased with conflicted regret. "I'm sorry I didn't trust you. You have no idea how hard it is to know who to trust in my position."

"Oh, I think I have an idea," I said snidely, though I knew he was in a much tighter, more important spot than I was. He had very real enemies. It just really hurt that he could ever suspect me of being one of them.

He rose from the couch and came to kneel beside me, putting his hand over mine, which still dug into the edge of the armchair. "How do we move past this?"

The warmth of his hand felt so good, and his stupid face was so cute as it looked up at me. But I wasn't done being angry, and I figured we might as well get everything out while we were being so honest.

"That depends. What exactly is the nature of your relationship with Julian?"

He frowned. "He's just an old friend. He came to me a few years after he left the vampires, and he's been spying for me, more or less, ever since. "

I nodded, but I wasn't finished yet. "And how much do you and Julian talk about me?"

His frown deepened. "We don't. I rarely speak to him unless he has some intel for me. I only found out a few days ago that he knew you when he asked me to get you into the school."

That made my anger cool a little bit. It was nice to hear that Julian was holding up his end of our deal.

"So, you guys don't have some creepy arrangement where you share girls?" I ventured, immediately regretting it when his eyes narrowed in renewed suspicion.

"What?" he growled, rising to stand and looking down at me with growing menace. "What are you talking about?"

I crossed my arms around my chest, feeling too vulnerable without that protection. "I figured since we're being so honest, we might as well air that dirty laundry, too. Mine and Julian's relationship isn't strictly business."

"You slept with him?" he barked, the sharp words like a slap in the face.

"No, I didn't sleep with him," I retorted. "Just some over the pants stuff and maybe a little feeding."

"Feed—" He cut himself off as his eyes widened in understanding. "What the fuck, Shea? How could you—why would you—"

"I didn't intend for it to happen," I defended. "It just sorta happened , the same way things just happened with you. I didn't plan for any of this. I didn't plan to have feelings for either of you, and certainly not both of you."

He thrust both hands into his hair, raking his fingers over his scalp as he began to pace. Then he turned on me, nostrils flaring, hurt warring with fury in his blazing eyes.

"I thought you and I… "

"You thought, what?" I countered. "You never made anything official. In fact, you actively refused at every possible opportunity. I'm just your dirty little secret."

His eyes bore into me, and even though the rage I saw there frightened me, I met him back with all the challenge I could muster.

"Well then, let me make it official," he growled.

Grabbing my wrist, he yanked me out of the armchair and trapped me against him, forcing his lips onto mine with deliciously possessive passion.

I was too stunned to fight or argue, to do anything but surrender completely to his mouth claiming mine. His tongue pushed into my mouth, roughly sliding across mine, wrestling it into submission. His teeth scraped across my lips, making me gasp in thrilled delight.

Every ounce of angry rebellion and snark vanished in the wave of intense desire that washed over me, and I kissed him back with just as much desperation.

Abruptly, he broke his mouth from mine, roughly cupping my face in his calloused hands and making it impossible to look anywhere but into his heated gaze. "You are mine , Shea."

Then he hoisted me up with his hands on my waist and threw me over his shoulder like I was nothing more than a bag of flour. He gave my ass one hard smack that made me yelp and tingle all over as he carried me down the hall.

I heard a kick and then the smack of a door against a wall before he threw me onto my bed. Before I had even stopped bouncing against the mattress, he jerked down my pants and panties. My heart was racing so fast I could barely function, but there wasn't a drop of protest in my entire being.

He didn't wait for me to kick off my bottoms or shoes. In the span of one blink, he freed his cock from his pants and plunged it into me, thrusting hard and fast as my pants hung at my ankles. He pressed his body down on top of mine and conquered my mouth with ferocious kisses as he fucked me mercilessly, possessively.

I reached my hands up to claw his hair, his back, anything to brace myself against his destruction, but he snatched them before they could get too far, trapping my wrists in one hand and pinning them against the mattress above my head.

"You're mine, Shea," he growled into my ear as he slammed into me again and again. "Mine. Mine. Mine."

His possessive declarations and utter devastation of my body was too much for me to bear, and I came in an eruption of painful ecstasy, screaming into his dominating mouth. He broke away to let my scream free, groaning as the sound filled my room.

"Yes, baby, scream for me," he moaned, not slowing as my inner walls tremored helplessly around his greedy cock.

Over and over, fast and furious, he thrust into me, crushing me into my mattress. It was raw and rough and primal, just as terrifying as it was intoxicating. I felt so helpless, trapped beneath his body as he took what he wanted from my flesh. And I loved every ferocious second of it, even though it was proving too intense to bear.

"Caesar," I whimpered pleadingly, unable to tolerate this overwhelming pleasure. I was sure I was going to disappear into his obliteration. I couldn't take it. It was too much!

"Say it," he demanded into my ear. "Say you're mine."

The raw possession in his voice shot pleasure through my core, triggering the explosion of a second orgasm that was more blissfully torturous than the first. Unbridled ecstasy shattered through me.

"Yes!" I cried. "Yes, I'm yours! "

"Oh fuck!" he groaned lengthily, finally slowing his violent thrusts, and every muscle in his face strained with his struggle to hold back. Then his juices spilled into me, just as hot and potent as he was.

He fell over me in total exhaustion, his cock twitching deep inside my pussy as the waves of his orgasm continued to pulse through him, nudging at my core and sending acute spikes of pleasure into me.

We lay like that for a long moment, panting and sweating and melting in post-bliss.

"Shea, I'm home," called a voice from the front of the house, followed by the closing of a door, and panic shot through my entire body.

"Shit!" Caesar and I whispered in unison.

He pushed himself off me and shoved himself back into his pants as I scrambled to pull my pants back up. He looked around the room in hasty, desperate movements.

"The window," I whispered. "Go out the window."

We both dashed to the window, and I slid it open as silently as I could. As soon as it was open wide enough for him to fit, he hopped out. Before I could close it again, he stuck his head back through and pecked my lips.

"I'll call you," he promised quietly, then made a run for it across the lawn.

"Shea?" Gram said as she came to my doorway.

"Hi, Gram," I said, flashing her an innocent smile as I stood in front of my open window. "How was dinner?"

"It was lovely." Her eyes narrowed in her owl-like suspicion. "Why is the window open?"

"I was hot," I lied quickly. "Just wanted some fresh air. "

She arched an eyebrow. "Well, close it. Heating isn't free. Just turn down the thermostat."

"Right. Got it."

I continued to just smile at her until she finally left my doorway with a shake of her head. Then I collapsed backward onto my bed.

I had no idea how to feel about what just happened, but I didn't think I would ever recover. And I wasn't sure if that was a good or bad thing.