Chapter 33

Arianna

A Week Later

I t's been a week since we all moved into the safehouse in Vermont. I've not spoken a word to Nikolai since and have been studiously avoiding him. Kimiko and I reached a tentative level of forgiveness before she left today. I know Nikolai didn't give any of us a choice in the matter. Despite her implication on the plane, it seems she must have been able to convince Nikolai that Mads isn't his, since he's not pushed the matter.

Any thoughts I had about telling Nikolai that he's Mads' father have gone out the window since he drugged me and brought me here against my will. I can only imagine how overbearing he'd be if he knew she was his. She'd never have the normal childhood she deserves.

Despite my best intentions to keep Mads away from him, after one too many meltdowns, I've begrudgingly had to allow her to spend time with Nikolai. It was that or dealing with constant tantrums. To his credit, Nikolai is wonderful with her. Endlessly patient and sweet. She adores him. Watching them together makes my heart hurt and every time I almost blurt out the truth only to find myself tongue-tied on how to bring it up. I have to remind myself that we're not a happy family. We're prisoners. Kidnapped and brought here against my wishes.

I find them in Mads' room, building a fort out of blankets. She's already dressed in her pajamas, and I brushed her teeth half an hour ago ready for bed.

"It's time for bed Mads, say goodnight to Nikolai," I tell her, trying to smother down the smile on my face at seeing my daughter with her father. They look so natural together and once more I bite my tongue.

"Not tired," she says with a yawn that betrays her lie.

"Tough, it's bedtime. We can read a story to make you fall asleep," I promise.

"Can Niki read to me?" she asks, gazing up adoringly at me. My eyes flash toward Nikolai and then to my daughter. Two pairs of imploring, aquamarine eyes fixed on me.

"I'd love to, if your Mommy's okay with that?" he asks, looking at me.

I can't think of a good reason to refuse. "Okay, as long as you get into bed right now."

That does the trick, she races to the bed where Nikolai picks her up and tucks her in.

"Which story shall we read?" he asks gesturing to the few books we've bought for her.

"Princess one!" she demands.

"We don't have a princess one, what about this one about a dog?"

"No! Princess!!" she cries, sounding as if she's on the verge of a meltdown. I was ready to step in as I've gotten used to her attacks of bedtime tantrums, a sure sign that my little girl is tired, even if she insists otherwise.

However, before I get a chance, Nikolai placates her. "Okay, I'll tell a princess story."

"Yay!" My daughter says as she snuggles down into the soft pillows.

"Once upon a time, there was a beautiful princess who was trapped in a tower by a monster. The princess thought no one would save her, but do you know who did?" he asks, looking at Mads' awed expression.

"Prince!" she declares proudly.

"Nope, it was a giant!" Seeing her concerned expression, he quickly continues. "Even though the giant was big and scary, the princess wasn't afraid. The giant fell in love with the princess, and she fell in love with him. But the princess wanted to be free. The giant let her go and his heart turned to stone."

"Then what?" Mads asks.

Nikolai leans forward, "But then the monsters found the princess, and the giant had to rescue her again. He knew that he could never let her go again. He swore he would always protect her, even if she hated him for it. But the princess had a secret, she had a magic jewel, one that could mend his heart and make it beat again. The princess was so afraid of the monsters, of losing the jewel, that she kept it hidden, locked away. She was so sad at the giant for taking her away that she built her own cage, turning the giant's home into a prison of her own making."

Nikolai looks at me and I struggle to keep my expression neutral. Mads isn't the only audience this story is intended for.

"What did the giant do?" Mads' eyes are huge as she listens intently.

"The giant was very sorry that he'd made the princess sad. He swore he would spend every day trying to make her happy again, and that he would always protect her and her jewel, if only she would let him. The end."

"No! There has to be a happy ending!" Mads declares.

A pained expression crosses Nikolai's face and it's clear he's wrestling with whether or not he should tell Mads that there aren't always happy endings.

I decide to step in and finish the story for him. "Over time, the princess forgave the giant. But she could not give him the jewel completely because it was the only thing keeping her heart beating. They realized that the jewel's job wasn't to save them, it didn't belong to either of them, their job was to protect it. Then, many years later, the jewel grew into a beautiful butterfly and when it was time, the butterfly flew away. But their love for each other meant that it always flew back. And they all lived happily ever after. The end."

Mads looks at me, amazed. "Mommy knows the story!"

"Yes, she does," Nikolai says softly.

We're both quiet for a moment, knowing that something important has passed between us. I hope he realizes that I'm saying I haven't forgiven him, but that one day, I will.

"Goodnight, little one," he says, fondly as he gets up and walks toward the door.

"Goodnight, pumpkin," I say, kissing her on the forehead.

"Night night," she replies, already falling asleep.

When I leave the room, shutting the door softly behind me, Nikolai is waiting for me.

"Arianna…"

"Not now, Nikolai. I'm not ready," I reply wearily.

As I turn to move past him, he gently catches my wrist in his hand.

"I'm not going to apologize for what I did. I'd do it again in a heartbeat. I will always do whatever it takes to keep you and that little girl safe, I promise. I will protect Mads no matter what. But if she's mine, I deserve to know."

He's right, I know he's right, but I can't find the words, still can't bring myself to tell him. To admit that I've been lying to him, hiding his child from him. The last time I betrayed him, I lost him. He hated me for it. I can't bear to see that expression of hurt and anger on his face again. I don't think he'd ever forgive me. And the longer I hide it from him the worse it gets. How do I tell him without losing him? Because despite everything he's done. I can't bear the thought of being apart from him again.

Unable and unwilling to tell him yet, I do the only thing I can think of, I kiss him.

Surprised, he doesn't respond immediately, but then he kisses me back passionately, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me close. He lifts me, carrying me into his bedroom. The masculine scent of him fills the room and I hungrily tear off his clothes, allowing him to do the same to me. Suddenly, I'm overwhelmed with the need to fuck him and forget everything. I don't want to think about everything that's passed between us, I just want him.

He lays me down on the bed, peeling my already soaking panties off, eyeing me hungrily.

"I knew you couldn't stay mad at me," he says with a devilish grin.

"Oh, I'm still mad, but that doesn't stop me from wanting to fuck you," I state, getting up and pushing him to sit down so I can straddle him.

"I'm glad to hear it," he growls.

I place his throbbing erection against my slit, guiding it in. He stays still allowing me to take control for a change as I ride his cock. I claw and scratch at his back as he sucks on my nipples.

"You don't fucking own me, you don't get to decide what's best for me," I pant as I bring myself to the edge.

He flips me over, pulling out and denying me the orgasm that was building. Now I'm on all fours he enters me from behind, thrusting in deep and hard, causing me to cry out.

"Yes, I do. I fucking own you, kukolka , you're mine. Admit it," he grunts, spanking my ass as he pumps into me.

"Fuck!" I cry out in pleasure as he hammers into me, filling me and making my pussy spasm around him.

"Tell me you're mine," he commands.

"I'm yours!" I moan out, lost completely in the moment as the wave of pleasure ripples through me and I cum.

"That's right, kukolka ," he grunts.

I know he's close, and so I pull away, denying him the pleasure of this position. "Lie down," I command, straddling him again as he obeys.

I hover over him, not taking the full length of him, just the tip. I look deep into his eyes.

"I might be yours, Nikolai, but don't forget that you're mine, too," I purr.

I slide down the length of him, but I don't move, still holding his gaze.

"Fuck that's sexy," he moans.

He goes to grab my ass, to move me up and down and fuck me but I grab his hands and pin them above his head, so my face is hovering inches above his. I kiss him, biting his lip.

"Tell me you're mine," I command, throwing his words back at him.

He stares me straight in the eye, "I'm yours, Arianna. Always and completely."

With those words, I start to grind on him. Releasing his hands I allow him to grip me and help, bringing us both to the edge of orgasm. His eyes darken with desire as he watches me ride him.

"Cum for me," I demand, enjoying being the one in control.

I feel him shudder inside me as he cums, which causes another orgasm to build and shatter inside of me. We both lie there, panting and spent.

I know that it may have been said in the heat of the moment, but there's no going back now. I belong to him completely. I've made my decision and I have chosen him. I only hope that he meant what he said when he promised to protect me and Mads, no matter what. That he'll forgive me for lying to him and not telling him he had a child sooner.