Chapter 16 - Cyrus

"I love you," I sigh against her shoulder as we lay there. Her breath tickles my shoulder as we both try to come back to reality.

"Don't."

"Can't help it. I never stopped."

She starts squirming and smacking at my shoulder. I lift myself up and off her to let her sit up. She runs a hand through her hair with a deep sigh.

"I can't let you back into that side of me when you're just going to be out the door again."

"Lena, I'm not."

Her eyes glare at me, challenging me in that look alone to prove her wrong. I hate to admit it, but she's not entirely wrong. There's nothing guaranteeing I can stay. We finish this mission, and I have fifty people relying on me and waiting for me back home. I can't walk away from that.

Then what? What am I proposing? That she and Rose up and move? Leave hundreds of years of her family's history and move into the middle of Dragon politics as humans? Having a human mate will mean unending challenges in the council. It's beyond taboo in our society. It's one of the main reasons the Council even exists, to protect our secret from humans.

I don't like her reality check. I don't like that she may be right in that I am not thinking this through as clearly as I should be.

"I don't want to. I didn't want to last time; I literally had no choice."

Her eyes are studying me closely, her hair falling in a dark mess of curls behind her, and I am taken with how gorgeous she truly is.

"I believe that you didn't want to. I just don't know why you couldn't tell me. I genuinely don't think I will ever understand that part, but I can see that you're telling me the truth about that much. I still don't know what any of that could possibly mean for us. It makes me feel even more certain that this has a timer running on it."

We're quiet. Neither of us seems to really know what to say or wants to acknowledge the truth hanging between us. I hate that I think she's right.

"Can you honestly tell me that you don't feel anything for me?" My breath is held, hanging on her answer.

"It's never been a lack of loving you. I never stopped. I just need to survive this if you leave again."

I feel her answer like a punch straight in the chest. I want to tell her that I will move mountains to avoid hurting her ever again. I want to lose myself in her and forget it all. Reality is unfortunately still here, and I don't even know how to respond.

She reaches down and snatches my shirt off the floor and tries to pull it on over her head, but her shoulder seems to be causing difficulty.

"Did you hurt it more?"

"I don't think so. It's still just sore. That's why I needed Rosie's help. It's fucking hell trying to do this one-handed."

"Can I help?"

"No, I'm fine. It's fine. I just need to shower and think. Just give me some space to deal with all this."

***

Giving her space means a couple very awkward weeks of attempting to suppress the urge to pin her up against every available surface, which is insanely difficult when that's all I want to do. It also means neither of us talks about how we feel or even acknowledges that we did anything.

This is my hell. The woman that my body calls for is within reach and wants absolutely nothing to do with me. Little things are still there, giving me a hint of just how much we both want each other.

She lets me hold her, sit with my arm around her chair, light touches, and kisses brushed on my cheek. But it's all the surface level. We're both carefully dancing around the subject of this ticking clock on when we have to make some sort of a decision.

The logistics of the mission have at least provided some distractions as the team is rotating two people on watch in the mine.

We have struck up a pretty good working relationship with Merl to keep him happy. Unfortunately, the sheriff, Sarah, was less than pleased about that situation.

"You have to get them to take back that offer for a tab, Cyrus. Please. Two weeks of this nightmare. I'm begging you."

I shrug helplessly as I carry a heavy box of quartz to the back of the shop for Lena. Sarah and I had finally had a whole moment of me having to level with her in at least a guarded fashion about the nature of our mission and what was going on. She all but insisted after Lena had told her some of the details.

"That whole deal is between Rufus and him. He offered to extend it. Apparently, that's his new favorite drinking buddy."

"Can I arrest Rufus?" Sarah asks me, as if I have any say in the matter.

"I think that's not so much my call now, is it? What charges are you going to try and hold him on?"

"Pissing me off and making my life difficult? Enabling a grown-ass man who already has enough of a drinking problem? Both feel justified."

"Mmmm, justified, sure. Legal?"

"I don't like it when he's right, Lena. Can you control him? He's your husband."

"Good luck with that one. I've been trying and failing as it is," Lena laughs from behind her worktable. We've fallen into a decent little routine at the shop, especially with the tourists starting to wind down.

"I'll try to talk to him," I sigh, "It's the best you're getting. I can't monitor the situation at the bar, though. The last time I did, Merl insisted on making me two-step with him for two hours straight."

"I'm so mad I missed that," Sarah sighs, "But thank you. Honestly, anything to avoid another night of Merl in the drunk tank."

"Want a pro tip to get back at Rufus? He's terrified of Roscoe," I offer with a shrug as I head for another box.

"That. I can work with that." Sarah's face lights up as she sips her coffee.

"Happy to be of service," I offer with a nod. She is distracted by someone's voice crackling across the radio clipped to her vest. Sarah gives Lena an apologetic wave and heads for the door.

"Rufus won't be too happy you sold him out on that one," Lena reprimands me from behind the row of candles she's making.

"Rufus shouldn't have promised me to Merl."

"Sure, Goldilocks, whatever you say," Lena laughs as she points over her shoulder. "Can you pull me a few more boxes of jars out of the back room, please?"

I nod and set the box I was working on down on the rebuilt copper case. It's kind of nice that she's actually asking now instead of just struggling and then getting irritable when I step in. I head to the back room and start looking for another box. We had the guys help unload the last shipment, someone had rearranged everything and I can't find what I'm looking for.

I start moving boxes out of the way, shifting them to get to the larger box of jars at the back of the closet, when I hear the little tin bell from the shop door ring. I don't think much about it as we haven't seen anyone try anything since, and I've been frequenting the shop with Lena every day, until I hear the sharp tone of her voice float through from the other room.

"Let go of me, now, Tom."

Rage is boiling just under the surface as I drop the box and rush into the other room. I'm fully prepared to just kill him this time and be done with it, regardless of what he may or may not be hiding. I am a few feet from them but stop as I watch Tom's body go rigid like he touched a live wire.

Lena's eyes are stunned, but she shoves hard at him, and he limply falls backward in the aisle of the store, twitching. Her eyes flash with a spark, an actual spark of electricity. What the hell was that?

I step to her side, but clearly, she seems to have him handled, other than the slightly bewildered look on her face.

"Tom, you aren't welcome in this shop anymore. You won't respect my requests to leave me alone and keep your hands off me. I'm done. Go, before I finish whatever I just started."

The greasy little worm pushes himself up to a standing position with a great deal of effort and snaps his eyes up to meet mine. The slits of green reptilian eyes are staring back at me, filled with rage, and I'm more convinced than ever that he just needs to be put down. I take a step forward but freeze as the bell rings again, and Sarah's voice carries in from the doorway.

"You heard her. Don't make her repeat herself," I can't help the tone my voice takes. I'm barely controlling the urge to kill him right here on the spot. I can't risk blowing our actual cover and outing dragons and magic in front of Sarah, even with whatever it is that just happened with Lena.

Tom lets out a snake like hiss, disdain painted clearly on his face as he retreats rapidly from the shop, shoving Sarah out of the way.

"Whoa, what the hell has gotten into him?" Sarah shouts as the door slams shut behind him.

"I'm done with him being creepy. I've had enough of his bullshit. He came in to say he needed to talk to me and grabbed my wrist. He was standing way too close and wouldn't let go when I told him to."

She holds her arm up to inspect it. There are marks on it, but they're fading already. What the hell is going on with her?

Sarah's eyes catch on the marks, and her face goes red with rage.

"Oh, hell no. I'm going to go put the fear of God in that slimy little shit," she snaps, turning on her heel. Before the bell on the door chimes behind her, the marks have faded completely from Lena's wrist.

She turns, looking up at me with questioning eyes, but I'm just as stumped as she is.

"What the hell is happening to me?"

"I have no idea, but we're going to need to call my father, I think."