Chapter 12 - Cyrus

Thankfully, Lena is tipsy enough that she doesn't seem to be aware of the fact that the only way I could have heard that comment was with hearing that's a little more than human. I can't help it. Their chatter was just far too entertaining to let it slide.

"I don't have daddy issues, thanks."

"I thought that would be a rather odd development in the last eight years. Too bad, spanking is off the table then, too."

"I mean, I didn't mean that had to be off the table, just that I don't have those issues. Besides, wouldn't it be better over a table?"

She slides her hand across my leg and up the inside of my thigh.

"Shit, Lena."

"What?"

"I'm driving. I'm also trying really hard to not take advantage. You are making that a little hard to do right now."

"That's not all that's hard."

She isn't wrong. Can't be thinking about spanking her and not be.

I reach down to grab her hand in mine and pull it from my lap. Nope. Not doing this with her drunk. I do have standards. They're weak ones right now, clearly not above a forced marriage, but having sex with her drunk is the line I won't cross. I keep her hand in mine and just hold it flush against my stomach to keep it from further instigation.

"Stop it. Behave yourself."

"Or what, you'll have to make me."

"Oh my God, woman. What did you do at that book club?"

"Drink a lot and gossip mainly."

"Clearly."

Thank goodness her other arm is still incapacitated. I don't think I'd be doing well with both, plus the need to drive. If I had known she was going to come out of there this tipsy and handsy, I might have had someone else drive her. Okay, probably not, but still.

I pull into her driveway and wave as Kaius catches my eye. He strides off toward the back of the house to leave. He had been on watch while I was gone so that Milo wasn't solo with Rose. We had all agreed that we weren't leaving anything to chance anymore. Two of us were going to be at the house at all times at night.

I sigh with relief as I put the car in park. At least we made it back to the house without any further incidents. I turn and look at her and instantly regret it.

She's staring at me with an intensity in her eyes that I remember all too well. Her lips part and her breathing is shallow. She pulls her hand away from mine and curls an eyebrow up at me.

"Really, you somehow forced me into marrying you, and now that I actually want something, you're going to shut me down. Honestly?"

"It would be entirely different if you were sober, and you know it. It's not for lack of wanting you. I just don't want to do something you'd regret when you're in your right mind."

"You didn't seem so bothered about it when you married me while I was concussed all for some bullshit mission."

I close my eyes with a sigh. There is never going to be a good enough explanation for why I did it like this. I know she deserves a more truthful answer, but I genuinely can't give her one.

"I didn't marry you just for the mission."

"Oh, you just conveniently had a ring on you?"

"I've had it on me for the last eight years."

I open my eyes and watch as that news registers through the wine. She's quiet.

"Was that your plan the last time you were here on a mission? Marry some local girl as a cover story?"

"Marrying you was definitely not the mission. It was actually pretty counterproductive to the whole mission. I was ordered to leave. Ordered to break things off. The ring is because I wanted you more than any mission."

She looks down at her hand and inspects it closer.

"Why didn't you choose me then?"

"If I physically could have, I would have a hundred times over."

I am half expecting the anger and rage I've been met with so often lately. Instead, she fumbles with her seatbelt. I lean over and help her unbuckle it, my face leaning closer to her again.

She takes advantage as soon as the seat belt is safely across her body and retracting. She turns and pushes me back into my seat with her one good hand on my shoulder, then starts climbing across the car, straddling me.

My hands grip hard at her hips, trying to steady her as she sways a bit while leaning down to kiss me in the close quarters. This isn't the angry kiss I've been receiving lately. It's something else entirely. Her hand slides from my chest, grazing my collarbone, and then entwines in my hair as she melts into the kiss with a soft sigh.

I let my hands ride the edge of her dress up over her thighs and hips and around to squeeze her ass. I grip harder as she bites my lip, trying to ignore the discomfort that my jeans are causing with the now raging erection she's causing as she grinds forward against me.

"Seat… seat down," she mumbles as she bumps her hurt shoulder against the door with a wince. I reach down and hold the recline button down, impatiently waiting for the motorized seat to make its way flat. The additional space allows her to brace herself against my chest with her good hand and swivel her hips harder against me.

I slide my hand up and over the curve of her hip, letting my thumb trace down along the edge of whatever thin satin material she's wearing for underwear. I smirk and pull back my hand and smack firmly against her ass check with a satisfied groan when she gasps in pleasure.

I use both hands to spread her thighs a bit wider, her dress now lifted up enough that I can see the small piece of black satin in question. I pull it to the side with one hand and let the other tease at her.

She's wet, and as I swirl a finger up and into her pussy, she clenches around me in response. God, I have missed this. It would feel so much better to be buried inside her. My frustration at not being able to take her the way I want causes a low growl to build. Stupid wine.

I take my frustration out on her a little, pumping two fingers into her as she grinds against me, getting closer and closer to release, before finally pulling them away. I tease one finger lightly across her clit and pinch it before sliding my hands back around to grip her ass.

"If I can't, you can't."

She leans down, crushing her lips to mine, searching and needy. I want to cave and give us both the release we both clearly need so badly. I won't do it like this, though. Her hand is searching, with difficulty, for an angle where she can get to my jeans and what she really wants, but the small space of the car makes it logistically difficult.

"Stupid shoulder. And you. You have no business looking at me like that and then not participating. You don"t play fair." Lena sighs as she breaks off the kiss. She grinds her hips forward again with a pleading look.

I shake my head, taking a steadying breath.

"Yeah, it's me who's not playing fair."

I reach up and brush a stray curl out of her face and tuck it behind her ear. I don't think she understands just how much I want her. Eight years of that craving are trying to crawl past my self-control. I believe there's just something very wrong about taking advantage of her in this state. The wedding was one thing; there's a tactical excuse for that. This would be crossing a line that I don't think she would actually be able to forgive later.

"If you wake up and feel the same, you know where to find me. Not like this."

"You're a really bad tree."

"You and your wine aren't making sense there."

She tries reaching for the door handle with her injured arm and groans in frustration. I reach up and help open the door. She awkwardly attempts to climb off my lap and out of the car. I lean forward to catch her by the hip before she falls face-first out of the car.

"Stop helping."

"Stop trying to get another head injury, and I will."

"Oh my God, you're infuriating."

Lena finally gets on both feet and is quasi-stable on the uneven ground of her driveway. Her dress isn't quite pulled back down all the way, and I can't help but let my eyes linger on the edge that's hugging the top of her thigh.

Her hand interrupts my fantasy by grabbing the thin fabric and shoving it back down. I bring my eyes up to meet hers, and she gives me a satisfied glare as I step out of the car.

"If I can't, you can't. Tease."

Somehow, drunk as she is, she manages to walk away toward the house with her hips swaying. The feel of her ass in my hands is still burnt into my mind. I don't even know when I made the decision or my resolve failed, but I rapidly close the distance between us as she reaches the front porch.

I slide behind her and snake a hand around her hip from behind, pulling her flush against me, leaning down, and kissing the spot on her neck that I know she loves. A small gasp causes her chest to rise, and my other hand is there, pulling at the edge of the fabric as I walk her toward the wall and pinching her nipple once I find it.

"Cy…"

Lena turns toward me, still in the circle of my arms, and looks up at me with that same pleading look. She pulls me into a kiss, every ounce of her wanting more in that moment and demanding it. Damn it. No. You will not do it. Control yourself. Just kissing. Nothing else.

I bring both hands around to grip her ass and pull her toward me, sliding one down to help her wrap a leg around my waist. Lena pulls at my shirt in frustration, trying and failing to get her hand against the skin underneath. She breaks off with a short, breathless gasp.

"Shirt. Off."

Lena is pulling at the edge of my shirt in a rather unhelpful way, so I set her down just long enough to help her lift it off and over my head. Her eyes drop to my chest, and she bites her lip. Damn it.

I pull her close, claiming that taunting bottom lip for myself and nipping at it lightly before lifting her up so she's at eye level with me. Lena wraps her legs around my waist, letting me have at least a little bit more use of my hands as I pin her body back against the wall. Losing myself in the feeling of her tongue sliding across mine. I have missed this so much.

I work her dress up around the curve of her ass and over her head as carefully as I can with her injured shoulder. It's not really working with me, and I hear fabric tear as I pull at the edges. It falls away, and I kiss my way down to the edge of her bra, nipping lightly at the skin as her hand tangles in my hair, gripping tight. I slide the fabric down, freeing one breast and pulling the nipple in my mouth, teasing it with my tongue before sucking hard. Her hand grips harder, pulling my face back up.

Lena pulls me roughly back into a kiss and unwinds her legs, forcing me to set her back down. She pulls lightly at my hair, guiding my head down as I trail kisses down the length of her stomach. I pull the thin black panties off and put one of her legs over my shoulder as I kneel down in front of her.

I have missed her so much…

I trace my tongue slowly up the length of her, and she gasps my name. It's all the encouragement I need. I bury my face in her, inhaling that scent that has driven me mad for years. My tongue slides in, then out, flicking lightly at her clit before sucking gently at it. Her fingers are tangled in my hair, pulling me closer as she grinds her hips against me.

Her breath is coming in short gasps as she rocks forward against my face as I circle my tongue lightly around her, teasing before plunging it in. She's clenching around me, my name falling from her lips in a gasp.

"I want you to cum for me, Lena," I groan as I stop for a breath before pulling her back to my face, pulling her clit hard into my mouth and sucking as my tongue teases deeper. She grinds her hips against me two more times before her body clenches, shaking, and she gasps my name as she falls apart.

I continue lazy circles with my tongue as her body trembles with little aftershocks, and a happy, satisfied little giggle makes her clench around me again.

"Stop, stop, I can't feel my legs."

I am uncomfortably hard still. I want nothing more than to finish this, but that nagging conscience I seem to have developed is reminding me that there's something very different about giving her what she needs and taking advantage for my own sake when she's drunk.

I help steady her, rubbing lightly at her thighs as I stand back up. I run my hand against the length of her jaw and curl it around her neck as I pull her into a kiss and tail my thumb down her neck. The urgency isn't there for her anymore, and I'm trying to pull myself back from this overwhelming need for her. It's a softer kiss, and she rests her hand gently on my chest. I break away and rest my forehead against hers for a moment the way we used to.

"I miss you," I sigh, closing my eyes against the reality that I have to stop here.

Something in her shifts, and she's suddenly pushing me away.

I open my eyes and find tears running down her face. Shit.

"You're an asshole."

"What? What did I do now?"

"Where are my clothes?"

I am flailing in the current of her mood swing, still trying to catch up with where I went wrong in the span of thirty seconds. I look down and find her dress and my shirt, grabbing them both.

I hold her dress up for her, and there's a tear down the side from the struggle I was having to get it off without hurting her shoulder. Her eyes take in the damage and narrow. Lena's hand snaps out, snatching my shirt. I reach out to try and help her get it at least over her head, and she gives me a "Don't you dare" look.

"How are you going to manage that with one arm?"

"I don't know, but I'll figure it out. Just… go away."

Before I can offer any more rational, helpful suggestions, she snakes her good hand into my pocket and pulls out the keys. Her hand in my pocket does nothing to help me forget how badly I still want her. She pushes away from me and stalks inside the house, closing the door behind her with a click of the lock.

Shit.

I cross reluctantly to the door and knock.

"Lena, those are my keys. I don't have another set."

"I know."

"Can I at least come in? It's cold out here."

I hear the chain and deadbolt we added slide closed.

"Good night, Cyrus."