Chapter Thirty

Ellesandra

I'm a prisoner. I don't belong here. I'm finally going mad.

These are the things I repeat to myself in my mind, a mantra that fades when my lungs scream and I'm left with no choice but to draw breath. No matter if I pinch the bridge of my nose and inhale through my mouth, I taste the woods and ocean on my tongue.

His scent is everywhere.

It sticks to the bed sheets. Clings to my dressing gown like a leech that seeks to bleed my resistance dry. It's been a week since I arrived in this stars blasted kingdom, but I remain a prisoner in all senses of the word.

My powers haven't returned. Each night I close my eyes and will them to the surface, the bond takes any thoughts of escape captive the moment it catches his scent.

The war rages on with the slow passing days, leaving me exhausted despite the fact I don't lift a finger. I've read through most of the books that line the shelf above the hearth. While I'd be grateful for new reading material, I'd rather carve my own heart out than ask the Risian King for directions to the library.

The alternative—that I leave this chamber—is far more deadly. With each night that Felix lies beside me, I turn the possibilities over in my mind. Finding comfort in the arms of another would be ideal, or better yet, taking the four strides across the room and fleeing. Though I know the risks far outweigh the sliver of hope that remains, the idea becomes more tantalizing each day. Even without my powers.

If I did have my powers, I'm not sure how my magic would react to my mirror soul's. If the incident with Felix's shadows on the day of my arrival is any indication, they would smother one another, refusing to part even in death. A mirthless chuckle escapes my throat. That would surely be my luck if the stars got their wish.

Besides, it's a life I have no interest in living. I've grown accustomed to looking over my shoulder and defending myself against the enemy, but fleeing would be different. Felix would raze the continent to find me. Returning to Minalis wouldn't be possible.

Unless I kill him.

Bitter cold spreads through my chest and settles beneath my rib cage with the thought. The feeling tells me that our bond won't allow me to harm him. Funny, seeing that it's only the mirror of one's soul who can bring about their death. It's a twisted sense of protection, I suppose. Rendering those who have been blessed by the bond with the inability to be killed, unless it's by the hand of the one their soul loves most.

The alternative possibility, however, is equally grim. It would call for me to break an oath I swore to myself long ago, tarnishing the memory of the person I loved most. To push the past aside and move forward with the man who claims to love me would mean that all my grief was for naught. To give in to him would shatter the woman I've spent five hundred years creating.

No, I can't allow myself to return his love. Not that he's deserving of it, anyway. I'll never disgrace myself by stooping to those lows, no matter if it forces me into madness. Giving us what we want doesn't mean you have to return his love, the bond whispers into the back of my mind. I throw the thick furs back and push to my feet with the sensual inflection of its words.

While I know this damnable thread in my chest only seeks to achieve what's been written by the stars, there's a small amount of truth to the statement. Crossing the room, I prop my elbow on the hearth and drum my fingernails against the stone. Maybe if I give it what it desires, it'll leave me be.

My mother always said that there can be too much of a good thing. Not that anything that concerns the King of Risian can be considered a good thing, but the principle still applies. It's a risk, to be sure, but it's also the only thing that will ensure I have a clear enough mind to discover my path to escape.

I would be giving in to the bond's desires, yes, but not surrendering completely. If the stars are good, after lying with him, the thread in my chest won't be so sensitive to his scent. I'm not so delusional to believe that it will ever leave me to peace, but perhaps it'll grow bored after a time. An unknown amount of time.

My feet wear a path into the stone as I pace. If my mother's thoughts ring true, and my assumptions are proven correct, I'll be able to properly sort my thoughts once more. But I know how perilous this road is. It's far more dangerous than fleeing, seeing that I have no knowledge of what choosing this path may bring. It would be the largest wager of my life. One that has the ability to bring me to my knees with a single misstep.

Felix's desire burns with an intensity I feel each night he lies beside me, but it's not seduction he craves. He's certainly had enough of that in the last five centuries. No, he craves for me to bare my soul to him, reignite the embers of a love that died long ago. And should I give him a taste of what he hungers for, he'll continue to push at the walls within my mind until I fall into him. If he—

I pause midstep when I raise my head and see the door handle to the chamber soundlessly turning. With the sun ever hanging low in the sky, creating the illusion of dusk until it turns to night, I have no indication of time. Which means I can't know when the Risian King finishes up his duties for the day.

Blessedly, the thread in my chest is calm and unmoving. While I'm able to breathe easier knowing it's not Felix, curiosity washes over me as the door swings open and Goldie steps through.

"The Princess is here to see you." His eyes scan the chamber as he speaks.

"Thank you, Thorin," Sianna says, brushing past Goldie before I have the chance to respond. Throwing a wink at me, she turns and places her hand on Thorin's chest. "I think Ella and I would much appreciate some fresh air."

Stretching on to the tips of her toes, a light tinge of pink creeps up his cheeks as she whispers something into his ear. A sultry smile plays on her lips as she returns to the balls of her feet and glances at me over her shoulder. "How does a walk around the grounds sound?"

I throw caution to the wind with Sianna's question. Fresh air would do me good. Her smile widens into a grin when I nod. "Later?" she asks, turning back to Thorin.

Pulling at the collar of his doublet, he nods stiffly and turns heel as Sianna crushes me in her embrace.

She steps back after a long moment and beams at me. "Let's get you dressed."

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My chest feels lighter after bathing and changing into a freshly laundered burgundy gown. Arm in arm with Sianna, she leads us through the palace and chatters about the latest gossip she's heard from the ladies of the court. I only recognize a handful of the names, but Sianna's prattling is a welcome sound I realize I've missed.

"Oh, and the ball! I'm overseeing everything." Her lips turn downward when I glance at her out of the corner of my eye. "Except the floral arrangements, which Larkin is in charge of."

"And what can you tell me about this Larkin? She's a friend of yours, yes?" I'm careful to keep my tone light although her name tastes like sea water rolling off my tongue.

"Was," Sianna says, smiling at a lady who drops into a curtsy as we pass. "We were acquaintances as children. I haven't spoken to her in many years."

"She most certainly seems to know your brother well." The words tumble from my mouth before I can give thought to them.

Sianna slows our steps and turns to face me. "I'm not privy to what happened between them since I've been away from court." She pulls her bottom lip between her teeth. "But I can assure you that she won't exist in his eyes now that you're here, Ella."

Though the mere thought of Felix wrapping his fist around Larkin's pretty, auburn curls sees rage course through my veins, I shrug. "He can do as he pleases. He holds no claim over me, nor I him."

Her forehead creases as she blows out a long breath. "While I'm not particularly fond of my brother at the moment, what we spoke of before you departed from Minalis is still the truth."

With a soft, sad smile, she tugs on my arm to lead me forward. The flames of my fury dwindle as she drops the matter and blathers on about another lady of the court.

Dusk's orange and yellow rays shine over the stone when we pass through the doors of the second level of the palace. My steps falter when the sound of clashing swords ring through the air. Sianna giggles as I turn my head to search for the sound.

"It's alright. It's just the men being men."

The sound crescendos as we round the corner of the wall walk and what looks to be a training yard comes into view. Despite the soft tug inside my chest, I immediately recognize the Risian King by his movements.

The wide breadth of his shoulders is visible, his black silk tunic tossed to the side. The strong, defined muscles of his back flex in time with each swing of his sword. A thin sheen of sweat covers the smooth expanse of his tan skin as dusk's rays beat down upon him.

I'm taken aback when an erotic image flashes through my mind. Taut muscles pushing in and out of me at a punishing speed. My skin tingles when the image changes, and a rough, calloused palm wraps around my throat from behind, craning my neck back impossibly further as I'm stretched to my body's limit. My pulse flutters when low, guttural moans ring in my ears as I sink onto his length, rocking my hips in circular motions.

"Ella?"

Stars.

I blink and find that Sianna stares at me with wide, concerned eyes. "What did you say?"

Glancing down at the training yard, a knowing smile forms on her lips. "I said, that's Ashe." I follow the path of her gaze as she inclines her head to Felix's golden-haired sparring partner.

Warmth rushes through my veins when azure eyes flicker upward and come to land on me. The Risian King's tongue darts out to sweep over his bottom lip as he scans me over. Returning his eyes to my face, he holds my gaze as he raises his sword to deflect the next blow that's meant to land in the center of his chest. A smirk tugs on the corner of his lips when my breath hitches as he repeats the motion, deflecting the next blow that comes a hair's breadth from slicing his abdomen open. Arrogant bastard.

Rolling my eyes, I turn my attention back to Sianna. I huff when I notice she wears a nearly identical smirk. "What."

"Nothing." The smile to be heard in her voice is telling of her amusement. "Nothing at all."

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Sianna saw me back to the chamber after dinner hours ago, but sleep evades me. Despite the moon that climbs high into the sky and bathes the chamber in pearlescent silver, my mind refuses to allow me to rest.

To be more accurate, rather, it's the bond that's restless. It's been particularly disagreeable since seeds of pursuing its mate have been planted. Each time I close my eyes and will my muscles to relax, sensual whispers sound from the bond and float into my mind.

Huffing as the strap of my sleeping gown slides down my shoulder yet again, I roll from my side to lay flat on my back. The pressure between my legs becomes an irritation that edges closer to being unbearable with each of the bond's whispers.

Where is heee, it hisses. Go find him, it urges.

The strap that loops around my right shoulder sags as I sit up on my elbows, then push to my feet. I can't take this any longer. While my body mourns the loss of the warmth the thick furs provide, the bite of the cold stone is a relief to my tumultuous thoughts.

Plucking a goblet from the bedside table and filling it with blackberry wine, I settle on the settee in front of the hearth. Gray plumes of smoke roll upward into the chimney as golden flames lick at the stone backing of the hearth. Aside from the crackling embers, it's quiet. While I've come to enjoy the quiet, an unsettling energy accompanies the hushed night.

The quiet carries a promise, an ominous omen about what creeps over the horizon. I swirl the wine around as I bring the goblet to my lips. An omen of what, precisely, I can't discern.

If I obey my soul's wishes and go to bed with the King of Risian, what will the consequences be? Fresh ache blooms between my legs with the idea. I push it aside and command myself to focus. While I know doing so will intertwine our soul's further, is that the only result? The thread in my chest sighs when the thought filters into my mind.

The harsh truth is that I'm left with little choice at this point. No matter the risk, it's the only way I'll manage to cling to the unraveling threads of my sanity.

When a soft tug lances through my chest, I drain the goblet entirely. In one deep breath, the chamber door opens. The Risian King pauses in his steps when he lifts his head and meets my gaze. Surprise flashes in the depths of his azure eyes.

"You're awake."

"Yes."

Blowing out a long breath and carding a hand through the length of his raven hair, he looks up at the ceiling. "Did you enjoy your tour of the grounds?"

I frown. "Not really."

A dimple appears in his left cheek as he chuckles. "I thought as much."

Shutting the chamber door behind him, his smile fades as I set the empty goblet down on the floor and stand.

"There's something we should discuss," he says, shoving his hands into the pockets of his breeches and taking a step forward. "I—"

A dry swallow works down my throat as I raise my hand to silence him."Let me speak."

Wild, yet cautious curiosity sparks in his eyes as he angles his head. Pushing out a long breath through my nose, I lift my chin. "Take me to bed."

Ellesandra,

My patience is waning.

The end of this war is near. You and I are bound to one another until the realm fades into nothingness. No amount of bloodshed or time will change that.

So, lie down arms and surrender your pride to the blessing the star's have bestowed upon us. Allow me to be your place of comfort. I'll be a solace that will follow you to the star's gates, should you only let me.

I love you.