Chapter Twenty-Eight

Ellesandra

Itilt my head to hold his gaze as he closes the distance between.

The toes of his boots graze the front of my slippers. A wealth of emotions I don't dare acknowledge flow from his stare to the bond.

Gooseflesh rises on my arms when his thumb swipes across my cheek in a featherlight touch. "You're magnificent," he breathes.

Though my mind commands me to pull away from his touch, the bond obliterates all thought of such a thing when the tension in his brow smooths and his features soften. My tongue darts out to swipe over my bottom lip. His gaze immediately falls to track the movement. Black seeps into his deep blue irises as his thumb moves from my cheek and grazes over my top, then bottom lip.

His fingers brush my arm as he drops his hand. "Sit."

The protest that rests on the tip of my tongue dies when he turns and another sharp tug echoes through my chest. An unsettling ball of energy unfurls and settles in my stomach when he pulls the chair closest to his own out. Realizing I've yet to move, I roll my eyes when he looks back at me over his shoulder and arches a perfectly shaped brow.

I resign myself with a sigh. Felix hums and pushes my chair closer to the table when I cross the room and sit. Relief sweeps over me when I spy a goblet of wine sitting beside my dinner plate. My mouth begins to water as I reach for it.

I freeze when the Risian King leans down and plants a chaste kiss at the base of my neck. "It's your favorite," he murmurs.

Scoffing, I pick up the goblet and bring it to my lips, willing the bond to be unfazed by this heat of his breath on the side of my neck. The wine I favor is only found in Minalis, made by the ripest and sweetest fruits in all the kingdoms.

I nearly moan when the blackberry flavor bursts to life on my tongue, leaving faint traces of honey in my mouth well after I swallow. Seeing that I won't allow him to hold such satisfaction, I take only a single sip before setting the goblet back down on the table. Even if I crave more like a man dying of thirst.

"It's too bitter," I lie, the bitter and sweet remnants that cling to the roof of my mouth creating the perfect harmony.

He chuckles darkly. "Yet the way you lick your lips spoils your lies, Lumina."

I fight back the shiver that threatens to pass through me when he places a final featherlight kiss on my shoulder. Though the bond mourns the loss of his touch, I can breathe easier when he moves to sit.

He chuckles when I narrow my eyes as he drags his chair closer to me. The sound reverberates through my bones. I inhale deeply to quell my growing frustration, only for his scent to overwhelm my senses.

Blessedly, servants enter the next moment, and set covered platters on the table. While I know Felix is going to goad me by any means necessary, I tamper down the urge to scoot away when his hand brushes my knee. I'd rather walk to the gallows as naked as the day as I was born than allow him to see how his presence affects me.

Instead, I shift and perch on the edge of my seat. My gaze remains firmly ahead as the servants uncover the platters, which are laden with hearty beef, fish, potatoes, bread, and a strange dish that looks to be made of corn. My stomach grumbles as the table groans beneath the weight of each dish that is set down.

For what seems to be the first time since I've been in this stars forsaken kingdom, I don't feel the Risian King's gaze upon me. When I glance at him out of the corner of my eye, his head is turned toward the window. On instinct, I follow his gaze.

It's a cloudless night. A smattering of stars illuminates the sky, the waning silver moon dull in comparison to their light. One star stands out among the rest, hanging so low in the sky it seems to be eye level with the window pane. I swallow thickly. Its luminance is the same as it was over five hundred years ago.

Remember,my soul seems to whisper. I desperately try to push away memory's ghost as a long forgotten feeling bombards my senses. It's warm rain tickling my skin, a smile so wide it cracks my lips, enchanted nights beneath the stars. It's the first page in my favorite book, three words that tasted sweet rolling from the tip of my tongue, the smell of ocean and pine.

With my next breath, I lock the feeling away. To give way to my soul's wishes would reduce me to shards of the most fragile glass. And that's something I can't afford where the man who sits beside me is concerned.

When I force my gaze away from the window and lightly clear my throat, the sound draws Felix's gaze. His eyes are the brightest sapphires as he stares at me, the unspoken memory hanging heavy over the space that separates us. The misery that swirls in the depths of his sea-blue eyes clasps its black and withering hand over my mouth, smothering me with reminiscence.

Despite the bond's mournful cry for the time separated from its mate, I don't allow guilt to churn in my stomach. For five centuries, he's laid nothing but calamity after calamity at my feet. His eyes flash with anger when I pick up the goblet once more, but I give little care. It was careless for me to allow my defenses to falter in the moments before he stole me away from my home. I won't fall prey to such foolishness again.

His knee grazes the side of my thigh as he stands and picks up the polished silver plate in front of me. I scowl when he piles a variety of meats and breads onto my plate. It's far too much food. The days since the battle have seen my appetite reduced greatly.

"Eat." Steam floats into my face as he sets the plate in front of me.

I glance up and meet his eye. "I can't eat all of this."

He tsks and shakes his head, the beginnings of a wolfish grin spreading across his face. "I much prefer ample thighs to part and settle my face between."

Despite the bond's sensual purr, I press my lips together in a thin line to refrain from spewing any number of the retorts on the tip of my tongue. To deny his insinuation would only serve as a form of amusement to him. Besides, he most certainly wouldn't be anywhere near my thighs. His low chuckle confirms my suspicions.

Bringing the goblet to my lips once more, I take a large gulp as he picks up his dinner plate and fills it. Warmth spreads through my chest when I repeat the action, draining the goblet entirely. I ignore the whisper in the back of my mind that warns me that I no longer have the tolerance for wine I once had. This is not a meal I'll be having without a healthy amount of wine.

Picking up one of the three silver forks to the left of my plate, I stab a small piece of fish and imagine it's the Risian King's flesh. My stomach quiets as the salty taste of the sea coats my tongue. Thick silence returns and drapes over the dinner table as Felix sits, the scrape of knife against fork the only sound to be heard.

After picking at the corn dish and eating a few potatoes, I can eat no more. I reach for the flagon in the center of the table and refill my goblet to the rim. While water would certainly be a better choice to prevent bloating, the blackberry wine is too reminiscent of home to resist.

Though he's barely touched the absurd amount of food on his plate, Felix sets his fork down and turns to me. "What you did was foolish, even for you." I snort and swirl the wine around in the goblet before taking a sip. "You could have been killed."

"And what are you? My father?" I sneer, setting the goblet down and meeting his gaze.

His breath coasts across my forehead as he narrows his eyes and leans forward. "No, but I thought you would've had good enough sense not to step onto an open battlefield unprotected."

I roll my eyes. "I wasn't without protection, as you may well remember."

The muscle of his jaw feathers as his gaze darkens. "And yet, in the end, even your precious General couldn't protect you. He died by my hand, choking on his own blood, did he not?"

I inhale sharply at the mention of Alexander. With all that's happened since the battle, I've given little thought to his death. I vowed to never allow another into my heart, but Alexander was the first man I held some semblance of affection for since Calor. My soul doesn't grieve for either of them, but I know their deaths lie at my feet. Anyone who seeks intimacy with me finds their way to the grave.

"Yes, it seems you're quite acquainted with destroying any measure of happiness I find." The words taste of ash upon my tongue.

"Do you want to know what I believe?"

Though my grip tightens on the stem of the goblet to the point of pain, I don't tear my gaze away. I have no desire to hear the poisonous words that will pour from his lips, but this is a game. He's pushing at the walls in my mind, testing their strength with words he believes will anger me.

"I know you well, Ellesandra." His gaze is steady upon me as he reclines in his chair. "Better than you know yourself, even. I know for a fact you've found no semblance of joy in the last five centuries." A gray storm brews behind the icy depths of his eyes. "I know that, despite their best efforts, your poor excuse of a husband and your General couldn't satisfy you. I know that each time they pushed inside you and you reached your climax, it did little to quench the never-ending thirst your soul has for me." I don't have to look down to know my knuckles have turned white. "I know of the many sleepless nights you wore a path into the floor of your chambers because nothing is ever enough."

He leans forward. "Each flutter of your pulse and unconscious shift of your body when I'm near tells the truth you fight so desperately against, but can never escape. You've belonged to me in every way for five hundred and one years. You've never stopped."

Like a wolf lying in wait for its prey, he watches me closely. Swallowing his words tastes of the most bitter wines. My ears ring and red creeps into the corners of my vision despite my efforts to remain calm.

The words he lays at my feet speak life to all I've kept hidden away for five centuries. It's the innermost part of me that mourns the blood I've spilled, cries for the ache I carry in my heart. I exhale a shaky breath as the bond recognizes my thoughts and nudges on the thread in my chest.

Each of my senses are attuned to him as he leans forward. He cups my chin and tilts my head upwards. "I can make you happy, Lumina. I swear by my sword and life." The words are a murmur against my lips.

I can see how easy it would be to fall into him with the luminance his words cast over the bond. To allow the sins of our shared paths to be washed away and start anew. Instead, I mimic his action and lean forward until our lips are a breath away from touching.

"In the highest of highs and lowest of lows, I've wiped my own eyes. No matter if I'm Queen of Minalis or Queen of nothing, I've only ever belonged to myself."

His lips curve into a smile. "You've never been alone. This war was not my choice, Ellesandra. I gave you many opportunities to march your men back home and take the Risian crown. Become my wife."

I still as white-hot sparks shoot through the bond. The words are a reflection of one of the last conversations we had when we were nothing but children in love with the idea of affection. We're much different fae now than we were then. If not by a raging war soaked in blood, then certainly by the shadowed hands of time. His infatuation is nothing more than a blackened flame that singes me each time he looks at me.

"I will never be your wife." I curse myself when the words roll from my tongue as little more than a breathless whisper.

Beneath the pale moonlight that intertwines with the golden candlelight, a wide grin stretches across his face. "We shall see."

Then, his lips are upon mine without so much as another word. It's a kiss nothing like the one we shared before. It's more dangerous than even the sharpest of blades in the way he angles his head for better access. His lips are almost gentle against mine as his hand drops to the column of my throat.

The sound in my ears becomes a steady thrum playing the most heavenly of melodies. Each part of his lips is a note that echoes through my chest, each gentle tug on my bottom lip the perfect harmony. All thoughts of resistance fade when his grip tightens around my throat. His thumb swipes across my fluttering pulse and a soft moan falls from my lips.

His tongue knocks softly on my lips in an uncharacteristically patient manner. Eager to please its mate, and recognizing the grasp it has on me, the bond plies my lips apart. Felix seizes the opportunity to deepen the kiss. His tongue runs languidly across my teeth, exploring each inch of my mouth as if I taste like the sweetest honey. The whimper that escapes him sends the bond into a frenzy.

When my lungs begin to burn, I peel my eyes open. When had they closed? Panting, I look down to find that my fist is curled tightly around his tunic, the fabric bunching in the middle of his chest. Icy surprise drenches me when I realize the back of my thighs barely touch the chair and I'm nearly sitting in his lap.

The bond mournfully slinks back to the shadows when I rip myself free from his touch. The haze of lust inches away with our newfound distance. Though his scent remains, the fog lifts. His gaze collides with mine like a moth to a flame the moment he opens his eyes.

Felix makes no attempt to hide his self-satisfied smirk or the delight that dances in his eyes as we stare at one another. My fingernails bite into the skin of my palms beneath the table as I attempt to reinforce the walls of stone in my mind.

Though the action feels out of place for a reason I can't explain, I cut him a withering glare. It's certainly an appropriate response as, yet again, I've been reduced to a simpering fool at the simplest of his touches. The truth that reflects back in his bright blue eyes tells my soul his touch isn't akin to my lovers of the past. An unspeakable amount of tenderness laces each moment his fingers dance across my skin, setting the nerve endings in my body alight in a way I've never experienced before.

And although he scrutinizes me for another long moment before tucking back into his meal, a leaden weight settles in my depth as I realize another ugly truth.

My chances for escape dwindle with each second I spend in his presence. I'd rather march myself to the gallows than dare speak life to the thought, but I'll never be rid of the hold the King of Risian has on my soul.

image-placeholder

"You can sleep on the settee," I say, not bothering to glance over my shoulder as Felix steps to the side and pushes open the door to the chamber.

I hiss as I pull off the satin slippers. Though a fire crackles in the hearth, the stone is cold beneath my heels.

"I'm not sleeping on the settee and neither are you." I freeze as his breath fans across the back of my neck.

A thick, pregnant silence descends between us as he unravels the laces of my corset. Each lace that is undone does little to aid the pressure that sits atop my chest. It's far too intimate.

"It's no surprise you've become an expert at unlacing corsets, seeing the number of women that all but fall at your feet."

His fingers still. "Yes, Ellesandra. Countless women have warmed my bed over the centuries." His next words are a murmur into the shell of my ear. "Yet each time I was inside of them, it was thoughts of you that brought me to completion."

Although need ricochets through the bond and blooms between my legs, I snort. The gown falls to my ankles when he finishes undoing the remaining laces, leaving me in a simple black chemise. Gooseflesh erupts on my arms as I step away and the night air pricks at my skin.

Climbing into the featherbed, I scoot to the far left side and face the wall. I curse when the scent of ocean and pine swathes the bond in warmth. The bed dips a moment later. While sharing a meal with the Risian King is regrettable enough, sharing a bed is another, more dangerous matter.

The thread in my chest yearns for me to roll over and become a mess of tangled limbs with its mate. It whispers deceitful memories that see a shiver work down my spine, calls for me to be all but wrapped in his skin.

"Stop thinking."

My breathing stills as a strong arm bands around my waist and yanks me backward. All thoughts of what his command refers to cease to exist when the warmth of his chest seeps into my back.

My mind screams for me to put distance between us, but a sigh falls from my lips when he inhales deeply against the crook of my neck. "They'll never be you."

The words echo through my mind like the sweetest of lullabies until my eyelids become heavy and darkness washes over me.

Ellesandra,

I dreamt of you again last night.

It's the same dream I've spent five hundred years trying to forget.