Chapter Twenty-Four

Ellesandra

Flat expanses of dead, yellow earth give way to indigo mountain peaks against the breaking dawn.

Although my eyes remain fixed to take in every inch of the unfamiliar territory, I feel Felix's unrelenting stare upon me.

I feign ignorance. Returning his gaze would only serve to acknowledge the night before. A night that equates to nothing. Despite the sigh of relief I breathed when I awoke to find I wasn't enveloped in his arms, my solace was short-lived. Felix returned to the bedchamber carrying a tray of fresh fruit and eggs, wearing a self-satisfied smirk that transformed into a smug grin.

We've not spoken of the matter, but the aura that surrounds him is telling of his unwillingness to accept that it will never happen again. I'm not blind to the truth of the matter. The bond's desires brought me dangerously close to losing myself within him. And it's because of the kiss we shared that nothing else can happen again. Ever.

The war ahead of me doesn't require the clashing of swords or thundering of hooves. No, the battle I must fight against the King of Risian is of the mind. Despite imprisonment in a foreign kingdom staring back at me, I must stand tall in the face of our bond. The price that comes with submitting to the Risian King is far too high a cost.

I should thank the stars, I suppose. Without the agony that accompanies love's bitter sting, I would be in a far more precarious position. Imperfect as it may have been, my relationship with Calor was a blessing. While not a marriage of love, we shared a mutual understanding that allowed me to become a queen befitting of Minalis.

Calor helped me to become strong and have a firm grasp on my reign. The porous layers of my vulnerability were covered with brick as the centuries passed, allowing me to build an impenetrable wall around the princess who felt too deeply. Without him, I imagine I would have succumbed to my foolish heart long ago.

I have no such hope with Felix. His unrelenting pursuit of the past speaks to what will become of my future should I give him what he desires. There would be no understanding. He would see our bond completed and my belly swollen with his seed the moment he caught wind of the submission my soul longs to provide.

Once, the love we shared was an awakening. It was the first time in my existence that I chose something without thoughts of duty or sacrifice. He returned the sentiment in kind, tenfold even.

His love gave little care to the prospect of earning his mad father's ire. The Risian prince snuck away from the war camp at the Minalis and Risian border at sunset each day. And each time, his brow smoothed and his shoulders sagged in relief the moment his eyes came to rest upon me.

We were irrevocably the same in that sense. Each hour I spent apart from him was a raw agony unlike anything I'd ever known. I'd pick my nail beds until they were streaked with red and bite the inside of my cheek until the candlelight dwindled. It was only when the castle fell quiet and I fled to the hidden alcove that my anxious thoughts abated. Each day for twenty-four moons, there he was, leaning against the wall with the brightest blue eyes and an arrogant smirk.

Home was his strong arms enveloping me, the foundation of inhaling his scent as he crushed me into his chest.

Despite my fear of what would come to pass if we were discovered, I knew nothing short of the cold, hard grave would keep him from me. He wasn't afraid though. Whether bloodied or bruised, he'd ever return.

I straighten when the rocky terrain becomes bathed in the low light of dusk. Had I not been a voracious reader as a girl, I would believe the sight before me impossible. Risian is a kingdom that lives in a constant state of low light or midnight.

I turn my head when Felix cranes his neck to peer out the window on the opposite side of the wheelhouse. He flashes me a knowing grin. I roll my eyes and glance away, pulling the cloak tighter around my shoulders.

Although the cloak is a means for warmth and nothing more, my soul sighs in contentment with each breath that's rife with his scent. I still when Felix's warm fingers wrap around my hand that rests on the leather seat. When our gazes touch, I swallow thickly at the question that swirls within his eyes. And curse all the stars, I do nothing but give him a blank stare as he pulls my hand closer to him.

"Welcome home, Lumina," he murmurs, planting a soft kiss across my knuckles

I scoff and snap out of the enchantment when his words wash over me. The seas would need to drain and the stars crushed out of existence before I call the Kingdom of Risian my home. I'm a prisoner. I don't belong here.

I snatch my hand away and lean forward. "This will never be home," I seethe. "My home is the kingdom you left in a pile of ash."

The corners of his lips lift as he crosses his ankle over his knee and stretches a long arm across the cushioned seatback. "Should our fathers have been smarter men, Risian would have been your home as much as Minalis is. You know that as well as I do."

This is a ploy to keep me engaged in a conversation I have no desire to take part in, but I'm unable to hold my tongue. "Yes," I say, aiming for his heart without needing to lift a finger. "It seems you and your father have idiocy in common."

The purest flames of anger flash in his eyes as my words meet their mark. They vanish in the next moment to be replaced with cold steel-gray. "I'm nothing like him."

His hand balls into a fist at his side. For a reason I can't discern, no sense of victory surges through me at the sight.

"But as for your kingdom, Lumina…" He uncurls his fist as he continues. "We've already discussed this. My men have begun to restore Minalis to its beauty. We're to rule over both Risian and Minalis, after all."

The thread in my chest unfurls like soft petals opening after winter's frost. It fails to see that Minalis wouldn't be in such disarray if the Risian King had only abandoned his ridiculous crusade.

"I'd rather be the queen of nothing than rule by your side."

My blood is set alight with rage when he chuckles. His elbows come to rest on his knees as he leans forward. "You will never be the queen of nothing, Ellesandra." Memories of the prince I remember all too well rise to the surface as his features soften. "So long as I have life, you hold dominion. You always have."

Despite the warmth that spreads through my chest, I press my lips together in a thin line and glance away. Felix has always had a way with words. Although he's not known to speak often—preferring to wield a sword rather than prattle on—he has no issue with gracing me with exactly what my soul wishes to hear. As the Minalese princess, such words healed an aching heart. Seeing that I'm no longer a witless girl, I have no use for them now. The precedent that has been set will stand no matter the words that fall from his well-shaped lips.

I peel the curtains back when shouts ring out in the distance. Though the wheelhouse glides down the cobblestone streets of what I reason to be the capital, I can't discern where they're coming from.

They're different, these cries. They're not cries of anguish, like those that rang in my ears on the battlefield. No, these are high-pitched screams. Cheers of victory that come with the winning of a war, of capturing a queen—an enemy.

Though his face remains an impassive mask, a strange aura of sadness surrounds their king when I glance at him out of the corner of my eye. It's both infuriating and bewildering. Is his thirst for blood so strong that he finds disappointment in winning a war?

My gaze slides back to the window when we turn down another cobblestone street. I lean forward and crane my neck to the right when the cheers grow louder. Although I was a voracious reader of the histories, I must admit that no scholars did justice to what is the Risian capital, Agaya.

The generous space of lush, bright green grass is the first thing that catches my eye. Unlike Solei, each home is afforded a plot of land, instead of being stacked atop one another. The rooftops of the homes are made of the smooth, dark wood of bittercrass trees, thin strips of resplendent gold trimming the sides of the stone. The warm, rich tones of dusk enhance the amethyst blooms of the vines that curl around the windowsills of one home to my left.

I'm stunned when people take notice of the flag that flies atop the wheelhouse and begin to pour onto the streets.

"He's returned!" a man with a light gray apron tied around his generous belly booms as he steps out from what looks to be a bakery.

"The war is over! Stars keep you, King Felix!" another woman shouts, tears streaming down her cheeks as she cradles a babe in her arms.

Various cries of a similar sentiment ring through my ears, but I can't fathom the relief and awe that smatters across their faces. While they too have experienced the repercussions of a long and bloody war, the look in their eyes speaks to a much different feeling toward their king than the people of my kingdom had toward me.

Disgust stretches through me when I discern that their faces carry looks of reverence. None spit upon the road we travel or sneer in our direction. Their genuine happiness with their king's return is clear by their body language.

It's almost laughable. An abundance of lies has been fed to them, surely in a ploy to paint Felix's ridiculous crusade in a different light. Women likely swoon as they hear stories of his romantic advances, while the prospect of conquering another kingdom brings the men into the fold.

While Felix has always been both persuasive and charismatic when he chooses to be, I'm dumbfounded to see that this is what has come of his reign. Although the tales of Risian's rich beauty have become more prevalent as of late, the centuries his father reigned were not so kind. There's little said about King Ofor that doesn't speak to his cruelty and madness. Though my gaze never came to rest upon him, I know the stories are the truth. The cold, lifeless frame of someone I loved is a testament to the unspeakable things that came by King Ofor's hand.

I gather the black satin material in my hand and pull the curtain back fully when a towering structure comes into view just ahead. People gather around what I recognize as the treasure of Agaya, the Fount of Starlight. Flecks of gold mix with the translucent blue water that pours from the mouths of two stone doves with their necks curled around each other. My breath hitches when the wheelhouse draws closer.

"What is this?" I hiss, whipping around to shoot Felix a withering glare.

The fountain is revered across the continent for its beauty, but I recall no mention of the intricate markings of an ancient language that are carved into their wings.

The arrogant ghost of a smirk returns to the Risian King's lips as he straightens. "I'm not sure what you mean, Lumina."

His teasing tone stokes the flames of my rage. "The runes. There is no mention of them in the histories."

"Ah yes," he mocks, raising his pointer finger to his lips as if in deep thought. "More suitable changes were made. The sculptors of my grandfather's reign seemed to miss the finer details of the soul bond."

A shrine of devotion, the thread in my chest swoons. I scoff under my breath. The fountain has been here for thousands of years. Crystalline water carrying starlight flows through the lake of Risian and into the fountain. Many far and wide believe it's Risian where the magic of the mirror soul bond first manifested, and therefore, such runes are only found in Risian.

The curtain slips through my fingers as the townspeople's shouts fade into the distance and the wheelhouse turns down a rocky path.

Felix watches me closely as we ascend the mountain the Selenic Palace sits atop. I place my hands firmly in my lap, despite my insides twisting with thoughts of being trapped in this damnable kingdom. Once inside, I must learn each nook and cranny if there's any hope for escape when my powers return. And they will return. I refuse to think about what will become of my life if they don't.

Time slows to a crawl as we continue our ascent to the palace. How big is this fucking mountain? There was a time when I dreamed about making the Selenic Palace my home and becoming Queen of Risian. I feel Felix's stare boring into me when I snort. Time has a way of making fools of us all.

The bond cries out in joy when the wheelhouse lurches to a halt. I roll my eyes when I glance up and Felix shoots me a wicked grin. With a deep inhale, I pray to the stars for their mercy as he rises and the door to the wheelhouse opens. Mercy from what, I can't be sure, but I'll accept any aid they bestow upon me if I'm to spend even a single night in this stars-blasted kingdom.

Felix ducks his head to step out of the wheelhouse and I steel my spine as I rise to follow suit. His silhouette blocks my view as he turns and raises a brow at me in silent question. He chuckles when I descend the steps and push his outstretched arm away. I have no need for his help.

I'm a prisoner. I don't belong here.

Ellesandra,

Is it possible for a heart to be bled dry? Oftentimes, I do not believe it to be so. As the season fades from summer to autumn, and winter gives way to spring, the weight of your absence never seems to fade. Mother says that I no longer smile, though she's not there for the moments when the corners of my lips twitch upward with the slightest reminder of you. It's strange really, how even after one hundred years and four moons, the scent of vanilla and honey acts as a balm to my soul.

It's a torture I know the stars have designed for me specifically in the face of my sins. A unique agony in the way that I wake each day to find a cold bed and an ache in my bones, though you are alive and well. You haunt my dreams, every swing of my sword, every breath I draw, despite being an entire kingdom away.

Even in the face of your hatred disdain, I'm not sure I'll ever stop missing you.