42. Winter

Winter

F aerqen trailed his fingers through my hair. In the brutal cold of his aura, the strands were so brittle that some of them broke, shattered pieces of my hair sprinkling down onto my shoulder like ash. "What do you have to offer me, lovely girl?" he asked, putting his face so close to my ear that his hot breath melted the frost in my hair.

That low purr and the possessive touch of his fingertips left no question of what things he might be interested in from a lovely girl like me. I doubted terrifying wolf monsters got a lot of pussy in the frozen wastes of the high north, and it probably would amuse him to fuck the soulmate Cass only had because of Sarcaryn's game—especially when Cass was silently snarling at Faerqen like he wanted to tear his throat out with his bare teeth.

"That entirely depends, handsome wolf," I crooned back, trying to buy time. "What are you willing to offer me ?" On my hand, I traced, H-E-L-P-U-R-F-A-E.

Tell me like this, Cass said in my mind, his words clipped and cold and so focused that no emotion came along with them.

I don't know how to bargain like a fae. Help me, I said in the same way, even as Faerqen made a pleased sound and inhaled against my hair.

"I could give that angry goddess a different option," he said in a sing-song voice that reminded me of a howl. "I could show her a different trail to take, and different prey to feed upon. I could make it known that I find your vibrance entertaining, and imply that I might take it amiss were any of the Deathless to try to replace you with someone less greedy."

Cass took a slow breath, counting in the back of my mind, then shook out his wings and folded them behind him. All the tension dropped out of him—and out of me, the touch of his magic sliding through my muscles, easing the way my shoulders ached and hands trembled. "My very presence stymies the one you prey upon," he pointed out. One ear flicked in a dismissive gesture. "It behooves you to keep me in position until the Silver Coronation, to protect your interests in the throne of the silver wanderers. "

To me, he added silently, I don't know what the throne is, but the silver wanderers are the comets. Ruekh is the god of battlefields and greed, and the patron of Raven Court to our south. My home Court. Alongside the words, a flicker of memory transferred, the image of two elegant, dark-haired fae, one with dark eyes and one with blue, both of them with the same full mouth and straight nose he had. His family; his mother and what had to be his older sister.

He wasn't simply locking his emotions away, I realized with a vivid shock of surprise. He was shunting them to the side on purpose, keeping them from showing in the parts of the Court Faerqen could see while letting them out elsewhere in the Court. An avalanche in the remote mountains, tearing down ancient trees—frost heaving the ground in the high north—wolves tearing into the still-steaming corpse of a monster—steam erupting from fissures in the stone—

Faerqen patted his knife against my cheek, yanking me back to myself. "Such usefulness ends once this particular game does," he said, his attention turning towards Cass instead of me. "Do you truly only desire protection for a year and a half? Besides," he added nastily, "I can think of many ways that the Court of Mercy would serve my purposes. Aflame, perhaps, or shattered. As long as you are not part of the wall hemming in my packmate, what care have I for you?"

Offer being a gate instead of a wall? I asked through our bond.

Yes, Cass said in the same heartbeat.

"An open gate is better than a burning forest or a broken bridge," I said idly. "If you want an open door to Raven Court, we can be that for you and your pack."

"An open door for me, and a closed one for Sarcaryn's pet breaker?" the god added, far too lazily.

Dani, Cass said to me, before I could ask. She made a bargain with Sarcaryn to save Vaddy's life. Whatever commands he gives her on the night of the Silver Coronation, she has to obey. Aloud, he said, "I'm willing to make her way more difficult for the sake of my Court, but not to the point of suffering or death. For the betrayal of a dear friend, I would desire a great deal more in return."

You'd betray her? I sent, shocked.

Not for something like this, he said, his mental voice sharp. I'm implying that I would because I think he'll believe it.

With a low sound, Faerqen stood, until he loomed over me. "Sanctuary in return for protection, then," he said in a low rumble, the words coming from all around us again. "For each name you agree to shield with hospitality against Sarcaryn and his allies, I agree to grant a decade of the protection of my aegis. If you're wise, time enough, perhaps, to settle yourself as your own patron." His hand closed over his knife, crushing it into snow. "Are we agreed?"

"If your protection has a time limit, our hospitality should, too," Cass said, watching Faerqen's hands like a hawk as they traced down along the veins of my neck. " Since your game with Sarcaryn ends at the Silver Coronation, perhaps our hospitality should end a year and a day beyond it."

"Time for time," Faerqen countered. "Your hospitality extending until the end of my aegis."

Quyen? Cass asked silently.

I blinked, surprised to be asked. Fine by me.

"We agree," he said, lifting his chin to look up into Faerqen's face. "Name your names."

The god stepped past me and back into the form of a wolf, his long, horrible tail curled around me in a mockery of an embrace. "Ruekh."

I trust your judgment, I told him quickly through the bond, not wanting there to be a pause in the decisions.

"Agreed," Cass said.

Faerqen licked his chops. "The Master of the Wild Hunt."

Cass hesitated for a heartbeat. "Agreed." A lesser hunt god, he told me.

"Celeian."

Patron of Jackal Court. Goddess of grief, dusk, and graveyards, Cass told me; aloud, he said, "Agreed."

The great Wolf started pacing again, as if he couldn't bear to stay still. I stood quietly, relieved not to have his tail arced around me anymore. "Dain Sundamar."

"The Stag King?" I asked with shock, surprised into it.

"Delightful, isn't it?" Faerqen's voice crooned from all around me. "The Wolf's son upon the Stag's throne." He growled from his wolf's throat, pale eyes fixed on Cass. "Well?"

He wet his lips. "Agreed," Cass said, sounding a little shaky. I didn't know that, he whispered into my mind. The story was that his mother was cursed by Faerqen to birth a monster.

Would you tell anyone you fucked that ? I replied.

The corner of his mouth twitched in what looked like humor.

Faerqen's tail hissed through the air. "Pelleas Xirangyl."

The crown prince of Raven Court. That made sense.

Tension rolled down Cass' spine. His feathers slicked down, one by one, until his wings were a killing blade again—now notched along the edges from Ithronel's sword, I noticed with sorrow. "Motherfucker," he growled. "Agreed."

That was fifty years of safety. The people… creatures… we owed hospitality to didn't sound like a particularly pleasant bunch, but it wasn't as if grief or hunting was inherently evil, or even things like battlefields and greed. For fifty years where we didn't have to deal with any direct god-on-Cass duels? It felt worthwhile.

A considering sound from the throat of the giant wolf. "Tathalin Xirangyl."

The Raven King.

Cass closed his eyes, brow creasing. He's cruel and ancient, he said, mental voice losing focus. A thousand different images flickered through my mind—fields of slaughter, burning cities, mangled corpses, people maimed and left alive as a warning to the rest. I— I don't know if—

Then say no, I sent back, horror clawing at me from the things he'd seen. If he's that bad, say no.

He dropped his chin. "No," he whispered in a hoarse voice.

"Interesting," Faerqen said. He turned away and stalked back towards the eerie wood, now dark with night. "Then our bargain is concluded. Fare thee well, darling game pieces."

We didn't get a chance to have the last word. The moment he stepped into the forest it vanished, leaving the entrance of the banquet hall behind, the double door opening onto bedrock. The temperature in the room shot up in the same instant, snow and ice melting with vigor as the Clement Palace asserted itself, trying to set things to rights.

I stood there dumbly for at least a solid minute, staring at the wall where there had been a winter wood. The banquet hall was thoroughly ruined; the beautiful inlaid marble of the central walkway was unrecognizable rubble, and the space I'd created for the fight was nothing but bare stone, like it had been hewn out of the mountainside. I didn't even know where I'd put the people, but a moment's focus on the palace reassured me on that front. The rest of the banquet hall was where it had been the whole time, though it had been fully abandoned. From the courtiers' perspective, the central fifteen feet of the banquet hall had simply become a solid piece of bedrock.

Slowly, I dragged my eyes back over to Cass. He held himself turned away from me, the greatsword with its tip resting on the floor, held loosely in his right hand.

"Cass?" I asked hesitantly, not wanting to push him, but needing to know what to do next.

My throat ached as he forced himself to swallow. "Can you go? Away?" he asked, his voice as rough as if he'd been screaming. "I think I need some space."

"Right. Sure. Of— Of course," I said, backing away. I stumbled over a piece of rubble and yanked my eyes away from him before I could see his reaction. I could feel his eyes on me, the way his hands were shaking, the overwhelming grief and terror —

I forced my eyes shut. Took one deep breath. Another. I knew how to meditate, and I used it to calm myself, focusing on the Clement Palace instead of on Cass. He was there, too, but if I kept my mind on other topics, I could keep from paying attention to the precise knowledge of his stance, of his heartbroken expression, of the pain of his beating heart. Vad. Vad, please, show me Vad, I thought to it, practically begging the palace.

A door opened midair. I didn't even bother marveling at that. I all but leapt through it, escaping my soulmate and lurching into a small office mostly full of wing and tail. "Vaduin? Vad—"

Vaduin jumped with a sharp hiss, snapping his gaze towards me, but Dani had her hand over his eyes before they met mine. "Fuck," he gasped out, his tail curling up. "Don't fucking startle me like that without your eyes shielded! Do you want to fucking die —"

"She didn't know, sweetness," Dani said softly, while I stood there with adrenaline still sharp under my skin. "It's alright. I've got you."

He panted out a harsh breath, then reached up and pulled her hand down. Vad looked up at me—then past me, to the blank wall. His ears dropped and an expression of pleading came into his eyes. "Where's Cass?" he asked, with the same fear as a military wife opening the door to a uniformed soldier she didn't recognize. "Is he hurt? Is he…" He stopped, taking a panting breath. His tail coiled around Dani's ankle. "What happened?"

"He's okay. He's… he's alive." I closed my eyes, trying not to let the horror of it eat me alive. "He, um… he killed her? Just— Just for now."

Vad and Dani stared at me.

Vaduin swallowed hard. "He… killed her? He— How?"

I wrapped my arms around my chest, starting to shake. "I don't know. He got his hands on her. She… fell apart. It was… Faerqen showed up after. We made a bargain with him, for protection from her. Cass… he's hurt. I don't know how bad. He told me to leave, that he wanted to be alone, but I think he just wanted to be not with me."

"Hey, hey," Danica said. She stepped over and hugged me, pressing her forehead against mine. "It's okay. It'll be okay."

A moment later, Vaduin tucked my hair behind my ear and set his warm hand on my shoulder. "I can go to him," he said quietly. "Are you going to be alright?"

I took a deep breath, then made myself step out of Dani's embrace. "I'm fine." I was. Physically, at least.

His troubled expression only deepened. "As you like," he said. "Of your kindness, could you make me a door?"

Because Cass was probably still in that room, entombed in our palace. I closed my eyes and set my hand on the wall. I didn't even have to work to find him. He was the other half of my soul, the Court Himself, and all it took was the faintest thought of him for me to know where he stood.

Vaduin bent down and kissed me on the temple. "Chin up," he said when I frowned at him, chucking me under the chin with two fingers. "The tumult is worth the balance. You'll surely find your way there."

He stepped through the door, long tail curling behind him, and left me alone with Danica.

She rubbed at her face, her shoulders sagging. "You're not fine. No one would be fine after that."

If I blinked, I would cry, so I didn't blink. "I don't want to talk about it."

Dani gave me a sad smile. "Do you want to go hide, instead?"

My mouth trembled. One hot tear fell out of my eye, unbidden.

That was answer enough for her. "Go," she said, giving me a little nudge. "Vad and I have dealt with the Clement Palace in chaos before. People are used to listening to us. I can hold down the fort for a bit while you recover."

I looked over at her, feeling pathetic.

"You know how to find us if you need something. Just be careful with Vaduin, okay? He's half-basilisk," Dani said, her expression going serious. "If he's already in a heightened state, he instinctively snaps killing glares at anything that startles him. If you need to portal to him again, shield your eyes when you do."

My skin went cold. It would be bad enough for Cass if I died or was seriously injured. If his best friend was the one who did it?

I wasn't sure there was any friendship that could survive something like that.

"I will. I promise," I said through the quiet horror. I took a shaky breath. "Are you sure you're okay with me hiding?"

"Deadly so," she assured me. "Go."

I did.