11. Uneven Ground

Uneven Ground

D anica had described the coronation part as "not bad" and the reception part as "probably tedious." Personally, I thought the designation of the reception as "tedious" was really underselling the mind-numbing boredom of the event. It was like being the high school principal on graduation day, unable to escape the endless repetitive cycle of graduations and cursed with the knowledge that every person in line was eager to get their moment on stage.

The cold wind played across all of us while the heavy clouds overhead blotted out the sun. Misting rain occasionally drifted over the palace, but never enough to do more than leave the ground dark and mist beading on my clothing and hair. Over the valley was another question altogether: the storm lashed everything to the east, caught in the cauldron of the valley and boiling over into the mountains beyond. Sheets of rain punctuated by lighting darkened the sky, easing up as the nobility filtered through and were replaced by a procession of desperately eager merchants and iron-spined military brass.

All of the people invited to do presentations were classically fae. Though I'd never seen fae as unusual as Cass and Vaduin before, I knew they came in a wide variety of body types, mediated by the wild magic that filled Faery. A couple of the earliest acquisitions from the mortal world had even sprouted horns or developed unusual hair and eye colors. When I'd expressed concern that the same might happen to me, I'd been told that there were enough people there now that the wild magic probably wouldn't strongly affect any of us, much to my relief. There were a couple horns and one set of claws on display here, but nothing like Cass' and Vaduin's wings.

The interminable procession lasted until well past noon. It was lucky that I was all tangled up with a healer, because otherwise I would have probably fainted from some combination of hunger, dehydration, and hypothermia. Intermittent mist left my clothing damp and clinging to my body, and the chilly wind wasn't helping. In ordinary circumstances, I would have been shivering long before we ran out of people to see .

I supposed these were my ordinary circumstances, now. That was a weird thought. I'd never expected anything other than the life I'd led in Long Beach. I had my community college degree, family to watch out for, a decent job as a waitress and a better one as a bartender, and a couple friends to go urban exploring with. Throw in the occasional boyfriend, and it was a pretty good life, all things told.

Now I was the Queen of a fae Court, with an intimidatingly sexy winged fae for a soulmate. I was apparently unkillable, and I was bound to the land under my feet in a physical way.

To say my life had taken a sharp left turn would be the understatement of the century.

When the last token of fealty had been presented and the last person had headed down the stairs, Danica groaned and sat down on one of the stacks of gifts. "God, that was worse than I thought. My feet are killing me, and I'm soaked," she said in a world-weary voice. "Thank god the next big event isn't until dinner. I need a hot meal and a shower."

Cass sat very still, his hands gripping the arms of his throne. He didn't look at her. He didn't look at me. He just stared at the stairs, his spine tense and his breathing carefully regulated.

He'd been like that for the past two hours, at least. I'd been doing all the talking for significantly longer, while he slowly turned into a block of unapproachable stress.

"Come on, chevalier," Vad said gently. "Pick up your soulmate, and let's go fly down for some lunch."

With a metallic shink , Cass drew his wings in. Not looking at any of us, he said, "I don't want to touch her."

I closed my eyes, trying to keep a rein on my temper after the exhausting morning stacked on top of four sleepless days.

Vad seemed taken aback. I heard him shuffling his wings, and then, sounding awkward, he said, "We could swap? I don't mind carrying Quyen, if you'll carry Dani. But we should get out of the wet and dry off."

"Quyen can walk." I shoved myself upright, momentary lightheadedness making me sway before my body recalibrated, helped along by the warm attention of the Court. "She walked the whole damn way here. Just send someone to meet me so I can take a fucking nap before dinner. His Splendor kept me up for days, and then I ran through the night to get here once I finally found a road." I wiped the hair out of my face, not looking at any of them.

Cass flinched, a reflexive movement that made me twitch. "I could come with you?" he said hesitantly.

I wanted to snap at him that I was perfectly capable of walking down a bunch of stupid stairs on my own, thank-you-very-much , but that was probably the emotional exhaustion talking. Deep breaths . When I thought I could say it without sounding like I wanted to take his head off, I said, "I wouldn't mind the company."

Cass got up a moment later and walked over to me. His shadow fell across me. I could feel the tension radiating off of him, making my shoulders and jaw tighten. "Shall we?" he asked, still in that nervous, uncomfortable way.

I tilted my head back, almost lost the crown, and sighed. "Yeah, okay," I said, and started for the stairs.

We walked in tense silence, with Cass practically vibrating with worry next to me. When we got down off the bare stone into the grassy part, I glanced up at him. It was a long way up. It made my stomach do little flip-flops that I tried very hard to ignore.

"I have a family," I said.

His wings pulled in. "And you want to go back to them?" Cass said, not quite a statement, but not quite a question, either. The enforced calm in his body transferred to mine, an uneasy stillness that left me restless.

"In the sense that I miss them, of course," I said, too sharply. I stomped down the stairs towards the tree line. "But it's been nine months—"

"There are geas-mages," he said, cutting me off. "They can change people's perception of reality, or command them to accept things. If you want to go back, your way could be smoothed—"

"Don't talk over me," I snapped. Anger seethed under my skin. "Just because you're a fuck-off skyscraper of a King and you've got your magic in my bones doesn't mean what I have to say isn't important. I agreed to be your Queen, and I don't go back on my word. Don't treat me like I'm a liar."

Cass rocked back as if I'd struck him. I ignored his upset and stepped into the darkness of the forest with relief, appreciative of the cessation of the wind. Rain dripped down off the leaves in sparse staccato. Somewhere deep in the shadows, little birds started chirping.

He caught up to me after only a few heartbeats. "I didn't mean to… What is it you want from me? Presuming you want something other than making me feel more guilty than I already do."

The touch of anger in those words soothed mine. His control over the physical expressions of his emotions – and thus over mine – was bothering me more than I wanted to admit. Having my heart rate match my furor helped take the edge off.

"You're rich and powerful," I said, measuring my tone. "You obviously have influence in the mortal world. My family is poor, and my income helped keep a roof over our heads. I need to know that they're cared for if I'm staying here."

He was silent for a minute as we descended. "…Money?" he said at last. "That's all you want?"

"Spoken like someone who's never needed it, your splendor," I said snidely. "Yes, money . I can hash out the details with whoever manages your treasury, but I want you to assure me that they'll be provided for, and that they'll be able to live the rest of their lives in comfort."

"I could have them brought here—" he started.

"Do you think I didn't think of that?" I asked. I shot him a glare; his wings pinned down against his back, but he didn't look at me. "I've had a long time to think about this, if you've forgotten. They have lives back home. Tuan and Cadeo can be something out there. Do you think I should, what? Steal that from them because I miss their faces? Bring them here so I can watch them grow old and die in a world they don't belong in?" I shook my head, sorrow starting to settle heavily into my chest, wrapping dark tendrils around my throat. "I'm bound to you, for better or worse. I'm part of this world now. They're not. So, yes. Money. Cold, hard cash. Are you good for it, or not?"

We came around the last turn to the unseamed wall and heavy door to the palace. Cass set his hand on the wet stone and bowed his head. He looked defeated. "If that's what you want, then I will do what I can to ensure it's done," he said softly, the weight of the promise settling onto him.

The sensation made my skin prickle with warning and nausea twist my stomach, recognizing the inherent danger of that promise to him. Fae can't lie , I thought, watching him quietly, peace following after the discomfort. I would never see my family again—but I would be able to take care of them more than I ever had in Long Beach.

I'd been given the sort of power that could make that happen; let Bà retire and Auntie do something she loved instead of stocking groceries and cleaning houses. The boys could go to college. Would go to college, I thought fiercely. When Auntie wasn't ground to nothing from the endless work, she'd see to it Tuan and Cadeo straightened up and made the family proud.

I regarded Cass for a moment, taking in the weary lines of his body. "Thank you," I said quietly, letting the anger go.

He went still, his surprise registering to me as a deep inner focus, as if we stood motionless while the world pivoted around us into a new orientation. Cass turned towards me, wary hope pulling his brows together and putting tension in his upper lip. "That's a dangerous thing to say to anyone who isn't me, Quyen." He paused before flashing me a hundred-watt smile, the first expression I'd seen from him that looked comfortable on his face, a glimpse of the man he was when he wasn't facing down dignitaries or a surprise soulmate. "Dangerous to say to me, too, I suppose, in that I'm no less avaricious than other fae for such words, and might grow greedy."

That sparked my interest far more than sword-sharp wings or broad shoulders. I tilted my head to the side, enjoying the weight of my earrings as they swung. "And what trouble might I get into with a soulmate who's greedy for thanks?"

Cass traced his fingers down the stone of the wall with a sensuous touch. One corner of his mouth tilted higher, teasing a dimple out in his right cheek. "Several answers come to mind, none of which are particularly appropriate to share with a woman with whom I've barely shared a conversation."

My brows shot up. "Are you a flirt, your splendor?"

He let out a self-conscious laugh, ducking his chin and looking down. "I enjoy the repartee, and I'll admit that I have a preference for bantering with people I find attractive. So, guilty as charged, I suppose." His ears leaned back, then tilted forward as he looked back up at me. "Since you'd like to rest, do you have any preference on bedroom? If I've been keeping you awake, it must be, what, five days since you slept?"

I flashed him a tight smile. "Yeah, just about. I seem to go a bit crazy after a while." I sighed out a breath. "I honestly don't care where you put me. I just need a bed."

"As you like." Cass rapped his knuckles on the stone and a dark doorway appeared, resolving into a fancy room with light streaming through the windows. "The monarchal suite," he said, sweeping me a bow before stepping to the side to let me through.

It was a Cass-sized doorway, I noted, wider and taller than a typical one. All of the doors I'd encountered thus far had been Cass-sized, actually, or bigger, meant to be imposing.

How nice for him.

I went through the magic portal door, because my life was already lousy enough with magic that I was on the verge of no longer giving a shit about any of the weird shit, and Cass followed. The room beyond was a very nice room, albeit cavernous. Ornate paintings that looked like they belonged in some sort of basilica covered the vaulted ceiling, featuring animal-headed gods and strange monsters interacting with fae. The walls were mostly bare, with a medieval-looking tapestry depicting a busy village market on one wall and a set of small landscape paintings clustered on another.

Presumably Cass hadn't finished decorating the place in the past six weeks. Or hopefully. The juxtaposition of the fancy ceiling and the naked walls was a bit unsettling, like being in an unfinished house.

There were some couches and wardrobes and things clustered to one side, but all my attention was magnetically attached to the ridiculously huge four-poster bed visible past a carved accordion-wall. I started walking to it in a daze before remembering that I was in a bunch of jewelry and a very fancy dress, and turned towards Cass helplessly.

"I, ah, don't sleep in here, if you're worried about that," he said, rubbing his knuckles against his cheek. "I've been, ah, sleeping in the body-servant's room. It's much smaller. So you can have the monarchal suite, if you want. There's also an attached consort's suite…" Cass trailed off at the expression of bewilderment on my face. "That wasn't what you were worried about, though, was it?"

"Not so much," I said, a bit wryly. "While I'm fascinated by the King sleeping in the body-servant's room, I'm a bit more preoccupied by the fact that I'm in Danica's wet dress, which I'd really rather not sleep in?"

His cheeks darkened, and mine followed suit. "Right," he said. "I suppose that's not the sort of dress you can get out of on your own. If it doesn't trouble you, I could undress you? And find you some towels?"

"I mean, you're here," I said, choosing to blame all my embarrassed feelings on him. "You've got a bug up your ass about touching me, so if you'd rather not even touch the laces of my dress, you could go ring a bell for a servant or whatever. I do need someone to do it, though."

He waited until I'd finished speaking before crossing his arms over his chest and frowning at me. "There's no need to bite, Quyen. I offered because I'm willing. I didn't want to touch you because I'm overwhelmed, and I don't want to cause you any further harm."

"What harm?" I asked, crossing my arms right back at him. "Take a look at me. I've fallen forty feet onto rocks, run through the middle of a forest regrowing at breakneck speed, starved for weeks, been fucking stabbed , and I'm a-okay. Perfect health, your splendor, just pissy from lack of sleep."

Cass wet his lips and resettled his wings. He closed his eyes and took a careful breath. "Stabbed," he said, ears pinning back and tension flickering across his face. "Someone stabbed you?"

That tension seeped into me— not the sensation of stress, but a full-body tautness that reminded me of a police dog ready to launch into action. "I'm fine," I said cautiously, half-expecting clouds to gather under the vaulted ceiling.

Nothing happened, though. Or, at least, nothing I can see , I thought, glancing towards the door.

His eyes opened, expression hard. "Who?"

I wet my lips. "They're dead."

"You're certain?" Cass asked, none of that controlled power easing. One of his ears cocked towards me before flicking back to its pinned position. "Because if not, I believe I know what I'll be doing while you're resting."

"Um." I swallowed. "I, um. Melted them? Pretty sure people don't un-melt."

He opened his mouth like he was going to say something, then frowned, lowering his arms. "Melted," he said, with a great deal of concern. "You melted people."

"They'd just stabbed me," I said, my cheeks growing hot. "I didn't really mean to do it. I don't think," I added, hunching my shoulders. "I put their bones in a little cave. I couldn't think of what else to do."

"It's alright," Cass said gently. He got down on one knee in front of me, looking up into my face. "Killing in self-defense is understandable."

My mouth flattened, all the sharpness of those moments slicing into the forefront of my mind again. "It wasn't self-defense. They were running away," I said in a harsh voice, my throat going so tight it hurt. "I had a butcher knife going all the way through me and I was fine, and they ran away and I asked the Court to take care of them and it did ."

"Oh, Quyen." Compassion showed on his face, the sort of kindness I'd never deserved. "You are, in many ways, like a new mage. The Court answers you with unfamiliar power, and it will take time and practice to learn how to direct it. Don't let yourself be consumed by guilt for things you can't control."

I shook my head in automatic rejection. "Not good enough. Not when people die for it."

"Hmm." One corner of his mouth twitched back into a wry smile. "I suppose I can't argue with that, though I still think guilt can be far more of a punishment than a goad. But I've spent far too much of my life dealing with exactly how not-good-enough my control is to claim that it doesn't matter." Cass looked away, one ear turning like a stressed cat. "You ought to sleep. If you don't mind the contact, I can undo your laces, or—"

I pivoted and presented my back to him. "I'm wet, and not keen on waiting. Go ahead."

"Very well." He started undoing my laces carefully, keeping his fingers from touching more than the laces. Cass moved with far less confidence than Danica had used to tie them up. It made me think that, despite what I suspected about him and his Archangels, he didn't have a lot of experience undressing women.

There was an under-bodice beneath the dress, not quite a corset, and he unlaced that, too, careful not to touch my skin. I could feel him behind me, though, the warmth of his body radiating against me and his breath stirring my hair. He was so big , tall and powerful, his head level with my shoulders even while he was kneeling.

His fingers brushed through the fine hair at the nape of my neck as he undid my necklace. The gentle contact made me shiver, tingling pleasure running down my spine.

"I know how unpleasant being awake for days is, because it's unpleasant for me, too. I've been staying awake to help those working to extract people who are trapped in mines and quarries," he said quietly, the words laden with guilt. "When I sleep, I heal the Court. If I'm awake, and I focus, I can keep from doing that, and the breakers can crack open the stone. That surely doesn't make the experience of it better, but perhaps it helps to know why." Cass stood with a sigh and stepped away, taking the necklace with him. "If you give me your earrings, I can return them to Vad for you."

I touched the spot where the necklace had rested, running my fingers over my bare skin. "I was at an off-the-books mine almost directly south of here." After a moment, I started taking off my earrings. "There's people there, too. Underground. One of the men has his hand sticking out of the rock, so if you didn't already know about that, it would be good to figure out where I was and help him before something digs through the rocks I stacked and eats his hand off."

Tension settled into my spine. "I can try to find them," Cass said. "It might be easier if you help."

"Then I'll help." I turned and held out my hand; when Cass offered his, I dropped the earrings into his palm without touching him. "After I sleep, though, okay?"

His fingers closed around the gleaming stones. "Of course," he said in that quiet voice. He paused for a moment, then set his hand over his heart and offered me a bow. "Sleep well."