7. Aspen

CHAPTER 7

Aspen

Bristol sat across from me in one of the buttery soft chairs near the window of Crossland’s private jet. It was amazing how much they looked alike, except for their eyes. Hers were more hazel where Crossland’s were that stunning Arctic blue that I had a hard time looking away from sometimes.

She looked surprisingly calm and relaxed, given that she’d just finished an epic fashion show, and was now hitching a ride back to New York with us since, according to Crossland, she had a few business meetings to attend at the offices she kept in the city.

Jesse had taken a seat across the aisle from me and was already peacefully snoozing. His ability to be snoring before the wheels were even up was one of the things I envied about my best friend. I tried to keep my focus out the window or casually scrolling on my phone, but I could feel Bristol’s penetrating stare.

“Did you ask to come to my show?” she asked casually, an intrigued look shaping her features.

“No,” I answered before thinking about how that sounded. I sat up straighter in my chair. “Not that I didn’t want to come,” I hurried to add. My eyes flashed to Jesse, wishing he was awake to help me. He was always so much better at socializing than I was. “Your show absolutely blew me away,” I continued. “He’s a designer too,” I said, nodding to my sleeping friend. “So, I’ve been around fashion a little, but not on that scale. You’re incredibly talented. I love how your designs looked edgy yet approachable.”

“Thank you,” she said, smiling softly at me. “But you didn’t ask to come because you wanted your friend to meet me?”

I furrowed my brow, wondering about the question. There was no malice in her tone, no judgment in her eyes, but I couldn’t help but feel as if she was searching for a specific answer.

“No,” I answered honestly.

Bristol’s lips parted slightly, and she glanced behind her where Crossland had sat separately from us, insisting he had work to catch up on.

I couldn’t help but follow her line of sight, my heart picking up speed as I saw his dress shirtsleeves were rolled to his elbows as he typed away furiously on his laptop. There was a slight crinkle between his brows as he concentrated, a tense set in his jaw that made him look fierce in a way I hadn’t seen before.

He was usually all confidence and jokes, but I could tell when it came to his business that he didn’t fuck around. And I guess that was obvious, given the deal he’d struck with me just to win a bet.

Another flutter of heat raced through me as I thought about the kiss that I could still feel on my lips. It had been mere hours ago, and yet it was like I could still feel his hands on me.

Which was ridiculous because it had just been a playful, simple kiss.

A not-a-big-deal kiss, according to us both.

Yeah. Right.

I blinked out of my stare, not noticing that Bristol had turned back around and was intently watching me gaze at her brother. Heat flushed my cheeks, but I did my best to be as casual as she was.

“So, my brother just brought you to my show,” she said.

I simply nodded.

“He’s super proud of you,” I said. “There was no way he was going to miss it.”

She smiled, but there was pity washing over her features as she looked at me. “And you said you’ve been together for three weeks?”

Oh, this was the part where the baby sister interrogated the new flame. Luckily, we’d prepared for this.

“Four,” I answered. It wasn’t exactly a lie. Crossland and I had been in a mutual agreement since the moment we met.

Bristol cringed, and I tilted my head in question. “Sorry,” she said, smoothing her features. “I love my brother, don’t get me wrong. But he’s kind of... he doesn’t exactly scream monogamy. And I like you. You’re sweet and funny and seem to have your shit together, and I just don’t want you to be⁠—”

“Torn to pieces?” I cut over her, and she chuckled softly.

“Yeah, something like that.” She shrugged. “I’ve never seen him with a woman longer than a weekend. Sometimes two or more, but never one and never the same one. And now here you are, smart as hell, nice as hell, and he’s brought you to my show.”

I kept my grin in place, using all the skills I’d learned from schooling my features in front of my parents whenever they popped back into our lives. It was a sticky skill, being able to be different versions of yourself at any given moment. A survival mechanism I learned early on in life.

The blowups were less likely to happen if I didn’t have a reaction, not that Bristol was on the attack, but the talent came in handy.

“Don’t worry,” I said, waving her off. “I know exactly who your brother is. Anyone with Google capabilities knows who your brother is.” I tilted my head. “On the surface anyway.”

Crossland was absolutely every inch the playful bad boy that the media portrayed him to be, but after spending so much time with him, learning about him and watching his habits, I was learning there was a lot more to him than he let people see. One of those things being the immense responsibility he took on not only for his companies and business endeavors, but his family.

And that we had in common.

“If you know him, and his reputation, then what...”

“What am I doing here, a month later?” I filled in where she left off.

Bristol laughed and nodded.

My eyes trailed around her, grazing over the still-concentrating Crossland, who hadn’t once stopped working the entire flight.

What am I doing here? I’d been asking myself that for weeks, and the obvious answer was the money. The future he promised with the only condition being playing a simple little game.

The kiss and the banter we’d shared after it lit up something beneath my skin.

Crossland’s eyes trailed up over his laptop, meeting mine, like he’d felt me looking at him.

A sweet zing traveled the length of my body at being caught, and I quickly returned my focus to Bristol.

“Don’t worry,” I finally answered her in my most confident and playful voice. “It’s a mutually beneficial relationship. I’m not after his heart, just his wallet.”

Bristol laughed, and the tension faded. She was honest and direct and talented—exactly the kind of woman I’d want on my team—so lying to her about this fake relationship with her brother probably wasn’t the best way to earn her friendship, but I’d skirted around the truth as much as I could.

Bristol blew out of breath, leaning back in her chair. “Good luck with that,” she said. “Cross may be frivolous with some of his expenses, but if you try to play him, you’ll lose.”

The protective undertone of her playful comment hit home. “I know it,” I said honestly. “I promise, I’m not audacious enough to think that I have the capabilities of winning with someone like him.”

Bristol gave me a respectful look and smiled. “I don’t know,” she said. “Like I said, I’ve never seen my brother with anyone as long as he’s been with you. So regardless of what you say, there’s got to be something here. And I’m always going to be on his side—big brother and all that—but I hope you know what you’re doing. Anyone who thinks my brother’s heart is up for grabs is in for a rude awakening.”

“I appreciate the heads-up. But his heart is the last thing I’m after,” I said the last part as I glanced behind Bristol again, finding Crossland’s eyes still very much on me.

And there was something in them, some sizzling hint of a challenge that had me coiling up inside in an achy way I hadn’t felt in a very long time.

Me: How are classes going?

I fired off the text to Brecken as Jesse and I rode in the back of a cab to meet up with our other friends for a rare get-together. Crossland was slammed with work, so I was off the hook for the night.

Brecken: Long, but amazing.

My sisterly instincts tingled.

Me: Are you making sure you get enough sleep? And you’re still eating plenty in the cafeteria, right?

Brecken: Yes and yes. Stop worrying.

I could practically feel the eye roll through the text, but it wasn’t like I could help it. Brecken had been my focus for so long, worrying about her was ingrained in me.

Me: That’s impossible. I’ll always worry about you. It’s my job.

Brecken: It’s really not.

I cringed. I was doing that thing where I hovered too much, a latent instinct that was really fucking hard to quell.

I knew Brecken wasn’t an eight-year-old girl cowering in the corner because our father was on a bender. But after years of protecting her, of sacrificing everything so I could get her out of that horrible environment and into a space she loved, it was hard to switch to the reality of the present—where my baby sister was now a grown woman, living her best life.

Brecken: I’m about to meet up with some friends in the cafeteria. Love you.

Me: Be safe. Love you.

I stared at my screen a little longer in case Brecken texted again, but she didn’t, so I put my phone in my bag just as the cab was pulling up to the restaurant where we were meeting our friends.

“Everything all good with Brec?” Jesse asked as he helped me out of the cab.

“Yep,” I said as we headed to the entrance. “She thinks I worry too much, but that’s nothing new.”

Jesse smirked and held the door open for me. “Oh, well, she’s spot-on there,” he said as we headed inside.

I rolled my eyes. “I do not,” I argued.

“You absolutely do,” Jesse said, scanning the crowded restaurant for our friends. “You’re the one who gives me a half-hour lecture if I don’t drink enough water, yet you rarely ever worry about yourself.”

“Hydration is important.”

“Yeah, and iced coffee doesn’t count, Aspen,” he playfully chided, spotting our friends in the back near the bar area.

I gaped at his back as he led the way to our friends, shaking my head at his blasphemy.

Sophia and Maple hopped up from the high-top table, instantly swarming us with hugs. I squeezed each of them before taking the seat across from them.

“It’s been forever!” Maple said, grinning at me. Her long blonde hair was pulled half back in a cool intricate braid that I’d never be able to manage. She was always rocking the latest styles, showing off her skills as a hair stylist. She owned her own boutique salon, and it was rapidly growing in popularity thanks to a few influencers posting about her.

“It’s only been a month,” I said, shaking my head.

“Too long,” Sophia said, planting me with a serious look. Her wild, dark curls framed her face, matching her no-bullshit attitude.

I blew out of breath. “I know, I know. I’ve been busy.”

“You know we get it,” Maple said. “I’ve just missed you guys.”

“Same,” Sophia said.

“You have to be like me,” Jesse said. “Venture out to Brooklyn for your coffee. Then she has to spend time with you.” He lovingly nudged me, and I rolled my eyes.

“Act like I’m the only one who works.” I motioned across the table to Maple. “This one is running her own salon. It’s not like that comes with soft hours.” I glanced at Sophia. “And neither does managing one of the largest hotels in Manhattan.”

Sophia and Maple gave over-exaggerated proud looks before bursting into laughter.

“I know you’re not suggesting that just because I have an unconventional work schedule that I have soft hours,” Jesse said in a perfectly snarky tone.

I gasped in faux shock, laying my palm over the center of my chest. “I would never.”

We all laughed again just as the server came to our table and we placed our drink orders.

After he left to put in the order, our little table descended into the delightful chaos that came with catching up with friends. As each second ticked on, my heart filled with a much-needed warmth and energy I hadn’t realized I’d been missing.

There was something to be said about having a group of friends that didn’t need constant maintaining in order to stay healthy. Maple and Sofia knew my schedule and respected it. They knew that sometimes I worked double shifts, barely making it home with my eyes open before crashing into bed. Hour-long phone conversations for check-ins or daily texts in the group chat were often missed by me, but they never faulted me for it, and I loved them all the more because of it.

And whenever we did catch up like this, it was like no time had passed at all. It’d taken me years to believe it was real, because I’d been so used to people bailing the minute they found out I had toxic family history and a one-track-goal when it came to survival.

So many friendships before I met Sophia, Maple, and Jesse had been superficial when I thought they’d been genuine.

Not this group, though. They knew me, knew my history, knew my trauma, and still loved me for me. It was something that I never took for granted even if I couldn’t tell them every day how much I appreciated it.

“Oh, come on,” Jesse said, his tone pleading. He even flashed Sophia his best version of puppy eyes for good measure. “You can’t tell a story about a celebrity demanding the entire floor be cleared of guests without actually telling us who it was!”

Sophia shook her head, stirring the ice in her cocktail with a little golden stir stick. “That’s the line I draw,” she said, shrugging. “I can give you the tea, but no specifics.”

Had to give her credit, managing the hottest hotel in Manhattan, she saw her fair share of celebrities. It was almost so regular to her now that she was barely starstruck by anyone. And while I loved myself some good tea, I respected her for upholding the privacy of the guests that stayed in her hotel.

“Such a tease,” Jesse joked before taking a sip of his cocktail.

I’d opted for a soda water and lime, knowing that I had a ridiculously early shift tomorrow. But there’d been no way I was missing out on this dinner. Especially with my now unknown schedule, being the subject of Crossland’s whims. I had to take any time I could get with my friends.

“What about you, Aspen?” Sophia asked. “Anymore thoughts on opening up that coffee-bar-bookstore you’ve been dreaming about?”

I spluttered out a laugh, shaking my head. “You know I have zero time to entertain that right now.” I waved off my friends concerned looks. “All I want to do right now is get Brecken through school. After that, we’ll see about me.”

Our chatty little table fell quiet, each of my friends’ eyes glued to me with concern.

My cheeks flushed, and I swallowed hard. I didn’t particularly respond well to pity, and it took everything in my power to swallow down my trigger response—rambling about how content I was with my life the way it was.

They knew me. They knew I was fine with my life, but they also knew it wasn’t exactly a dream. Guilt sliced through me at the thought. I was putting Brecken through school. That should be enough for me.

I shouldn’t need more.

“Okay,” Maple said. “Then tell us about this new man in your life. Crossland McClaren? He’s like a gojillionaire.”

I laughed softly at that, loving her for the change in subject.

“Yeah,” Sophia said. “You said in the group chat that you weren’t dating, but you’ve been spending a ton of time with this guy over the last few weeks. We’ve seen you pop up in tons of posts with him. What’s going on?”

Jesse and I shared a look, and another little sliver of guilt burrowed deep. Jesse had been present when the deal took place, or at least the beginnings of the deal, and he had to sign the NDA just like me. I knew I could trust Sophia and Maple, but as much as I wanted to tell them, I couldn’t break contract just to ease my guilt.

“We have a complicated relationship,” I said, breathing a little easier at that truth. “One I’m not exactly ready to talk about yet.”

“That’s fair,” Sofia said.

“Can you talk about how hot he is?” Maple asked, and we all laughed. “Because damn.”

“Seriously,” Sophia said. “I haven’t seen one bad picture or clip of that man. He wears a suit like he was made for it. I can’t imagine how hot he is in person. Not to mention sleeping with him.”

“He’s not really like that around me,” I said. “I mean, it’s not really like that between us. Right now.” God, I sounded as unsure as I felt. But it was the truth. Despite our arrangement, despite my role in his life right now, Crossland never really danced around that line with me. As much as I thought he would. Except...

Heat flushed over my body, my mind instantly replaying the kiss.

I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I’d never been kissed like that before. He’d somehow thrilled me while also coaxing me into this languid and blissful state, which didn’t make any sense at all because they were two complete opposite feelings, and yet somehow he’d managed it.

Not to mention that every time I thought about it, I craved that feeling again.

The feeling of being someone’s sole focus. It was such a rarity for me to allow anybody to take control or to help or to even put me at the center of their attention. That just wasn’t my role in life. It never had been.

I was the responsible one. The protector, the provider, the planner. The warrior, as Jesse and Brecken liked to say.

I wasn’t someone who was taken care of. Ever.

And yet...When Crossland had kissed me, I’d felt fully taken care of for the first time.

Even though it was just a game.

Even though it had been out of some desperate edge to prove he could do better than I did.

And I liked that. I liked that a lot.

“Oh, no,” Maple said, waggling her finger at me. “I see that look. Where did you just go?”

“I have an idea,” Jesse muttered under his breath before hiding behind his drink.

I flashed him a scolding look.

He’d been at the show and told me he’d walked by, witnessing a fraction of what we thought was a hidden kiss.

“You have to give us something,” Sophia begged.

I couldn’t stop myself from smiling. I guess it wasn’t against the contract terms to talk about things that a boyfriend and girlfriend would do.

“We kissed,” I said. And it felt good to tell some truth.

Sophia and Maple shared excited little squeals before silently urging me to continue.

I took a sip of my drink, drawing out the anticipation just because I knew it would drive them nuts. When Sophia looked like she was ready to throttle me, I continued.

“It was as hot as he looks in those suits he wears.”

I was met with another round of squeals, followed by several high fives across the table.

The normality of sharing sassy tidbits among trusted confidants filled me with excitement.

But as our food arrived, I caught Jesse looking discreetly at me.

And because I knew him so well, I knew that he was worried.

Because he knew the truth.

He knew this was all a ruse.

Pretending to be somebody’s girlfriend was one thing, but kissing them and actually enjoying it? Kissing Crossland and craving it more than I craved my next iced coffee? Well, that was another thing entirely.