Epilogue

EPILOGUE

MABEL

“And now I would like to introduce the captain of the New Jersey Storm. Ben has played for the Storm for three seasons and has demonstrated his leadership skills on the ice and off the ice. We’re pleased to have him as an ambassador for Keeping Kids Safe. Having someone like Ben join us and let kids know he believes in them and supports them is so important. His voice will be reassurance for kids who are in the recovery process, and encouragement for those who haven’t come forward yet. Please welcome Ben Antonov.”

I watch Ben walk up to the dais and join Sue Milner. He shakes her hand with a smile, then turns to the crowd gathered in the large, bright multi-purpose room at the new Keeping Kids Safe Center.

I know how nervous he was about this event, but I don’t think anyone else would guess from his demeanor as he steps up to the microphone. It’s his first public event since being officially named captain of the Storm a couple of weeks ago in mid-August.

“Thank you, Sue. I’m thrilled to be a part of this group and to give back to the community. I’m proud to use my voice and platform to give kids who need it a voice of their own. Hockey is a team sport, and kids who’ve experienced abuse also need a team around them. Keeping Kids Safe knows the importance of a coordinated effort to protect children and youth. As a hockey team, we go through a lot in a season, but that’s really nothing compared to what some of these young people go through, so I’m happy to lend my support to this endeavor and to be on their team.”

I clap along with the others, my smile so wide it hurts.

Ben continues. “Keeping Kids Safe has been fundraising for the last five years with the goal of opening this beautiful new space and doesn’t it meet expectations?”

There’s another brief round of applause.

“This building gives the ability to see kids from the initial investigation and right through. It’s a calm and welcoming space, meant to help the difficult experience of reporting abuse. All the critical services that a family needs to work with are all together here under one roof.” He pauses. “Child abuse is really hard to talk about, but hopefully we can open the conversation and strengthen community support. This space is beautiful and functional and I know we’ll be able to help so many kids here. Oh! Hey now.”

A big dog bounds up to Ben and dances around him.

Maya Pérez rushes up, chasing the dog. “Sorry! Rocky! I let go of the leash! Sorry!”

“That’s okay.” Ben crouches and rubs the dog’s head. “Hey, Rocky, did you escape?”

Rocky gives Ben’s face several enthusiastic licks and Ben laughs.

“He loves you so much,” Maya says, grabbing the leash. “Come on, Rocky.”

Grinning, Ben gives Rocky a few more rubs, then straightens. Everyone watching is smiling and murmuring watching Ben interact with the golden retriever. My heart grows three sizes.

He could be thrown off by the unexpected interruption, but he looks at ease. I mean, it’s a dog. He loves dogs. More than he loves people. Ha ha.

“Rocky wants to make his presence known,” Ben says. “He’s an important member of the team here.” He turns. “And now I’ll introduce my boss, Marc Miller, GM of the New Jersey Storm.”

Marc Miller joins him at the microphone. “Thanks, Ben. The New Jersey Storm organization is also proud to be a part of the Keeping Kids Safe Team. Ben is the first guy to stand up for his teammates and now he’s standing up for this team, as well. On behalf of the Storm Youth Foundation, Ben and I are thrilled to present this check for fifty thousand dollars.”

The applause is huge this time as Ben and Marc hold up a big fake check, and Sue beams and shakes their hands.

The grand opening ceremony of this beautiful new center finishes up.

I turn to Marek, Ford, Dillon, and Nash, all here to support their teammate and friend. “He did great.”

“Of course he did,” Dillon says.

I smile. It’ll never be something Ben enjoys, but all the practice and preparation made it look easy for him, at least.

Ben makes his way over to us eventually. “Thanks for coming, guys.” He looks around. “Where’s Alfie?”

Carson Alford, AKA Alfie, was with us for a while. It’s been a tough summer for him and his wife, after losing their child. This is the first time Carson’s come out, as training camp starts soon. He’s recovered from his physical injuries, but it will take longer to recover emotionally. Mentally.

“He had to go,” I say quietly. “I think this was hard for him.”

“I’m sure anything to do with kids is hard for him,” Ford says quietly.

“Yeah.” Dillon nods with a sad smile. “I’m glad he came, though. Hopefully we’ll see more of him.”

“We have to make sure we invite him,” Ben says. “Even if we’re just hanging out.”

“I’m afraid I’m going to say something stupid around him.” Ford frowns and rubs his jaw.

“I think we all are,” Ben says. “But if we say something stupid, we apologize. It’s better than not saying anything or ignoring him.”

I smile at how Ben is the one encouraging people to speak up.

“Yeah, for sure.” Nash nods.

“I’ll tell you this,” Ford says. “I’m never having kids. After hearing about abused kids this morning, and Alfie losing his son, it’s never happening.”

“Oh.” I purse my lips. “You shouldn’t let that stop you.”

“Well, that’s only part of it. Can you imagine me as a dad? Ha! A kid would drive me nuts. And I’m probably not the best role model.”

I bite back a smile. He is a little eccentric. I think that’s why I like him. And maybe he has a point about having children. Now. “Who knows what the future holds?” I say. “Maybe someday you’ll meet a woman and fall in love with her and want a family with her.”

He snorts. “Not gonna happen. Okay. Where are we going for lunch?”

Ben takes my hand as we follow his friends out of the building and we share a smile.

Yes, being part of a team is important. The Storm grew as a team last season, thanks to Ben’s leadership. Ben is a part of this community team. And Ben and I are a team. A big part of that is trust. Trust is what turns people into a team and Ben and I had to learn to trust ourselves first. I didn’t trust myself to listen to my own feelings or spend time alone, but I’ve learned so much from Ben about that. And I think he’s learned from me that he can trust that his voice is worth listening to; with his team, in the community, and with me. Trust is built over time. We’re still working on it and sometimes it’s hard and takes a lot of introspection, but it’s absolutely, definitely worth it. He’s worth it. We’re worth it.

“I loved your speech,” I say as we lag behind the others walking to our cars. “I loved the part about being a team.”

He smiles down at me.

“I love that we’re a team. I just… worry…”

“What?” He stops walking and faces me, still holding my hand.

“I’m learning to trust myself again. I’m working on figuring out who I am again. But it’s a work in progress.”

“I told you before – we’re all a work in progress.”

“Yeah. But I’m still kind of messed up. I let you down once because I was scared. It could happen again.” I meet his eyes.

His are warm and steady. “Will you tell me if it does?”

“Yes.”

“Then we’ll get through it together. Because we’re a team.”