Chapter 27

27

MABEL

I’m sitting in the Philadelphia airport, waiting for a flight to Charleston.

I was going to take the train back to Hoboken but then I decided to check the Storm’s schedule and discovered they’re playing in Charleston tonight. And after that they have games in Tampa and Fort Lauderdale. They won’t be home until Sunday night! I can’t wait for that long to talk to Ben!

So I booked a flight to Charleston. Yes, it was impulsive. I’ve been trying so hard not to be reckless with my spending while I’m unemployed, but I had to do this. At least I have a job now!

My flight is delayed – gah! I need to get there before the game! Frustration creates a rising pressure inside me and I try to distract myself and make good use of the time to do some research. I look at the library branch where I’ll be working and where the Path stations are. I check out apartments, then make arrangements to look at a few places in Harrison. I’m a little freaked out about the rents, but I think I can manage it on my salary.

My flight is delayed again. Deep breath.

I text Marek to find out what hotel the team is staying at in Charleston.

Marek

Where are you and what are you doing?

Mabel

I’m at the airport waiting for a flight to Charleston. I need to talk to Ben.

Marek

Oh hell yeah you do

I frown at my phone.

Mabel

What does that mean?

Marek

The guy’s crazy about you. He’s worried. He thinks he screwed up

Mabel

I know, I know, but it was my fault! I want to tell him that

Marek

Good. Do you care about him too?

I press my lips together, a rush of emotion nearly choking me.

Mabel

Yes

Marek

Good

I chew my bottom lip, then tap in another message.

Mabel

So you’re okay with that?

Marek

Yeah. He’s a good guy. He cares about you. You two are good together.

Now tears threaten, my sinuses stinging. I blink rapidly.

Mabel

Thank you.

Marek

I need to call you. Texting is bugging me.

My phone rings.

“Hi?”

“I’m pissed at you.” Marek’s talking in a low voice, as if trying not to be overheard.

“About Julian?”

“Yeah.”

“Will you listen to me if I explain things?”

“Yeah. Although Ben did a pretty good job of it.”

Oh. “What did he tell you?”

“That you were embarrassed. Ashamed.”

I swallow. “Yes. I felt so stupid for getting involved with someone who was such a jackass to me. I was going to tell you, really. I just wanted to get my life back together so you all would know I’m not a complete dumpster fire.”

I tell him all the things, my fears, my humiliation.

“I wish I’d been there that day so I could’ve punched him, too,” Marek says fiercely. “If he ever comes near you again, I’ll cut off his balls with a skate blade and choke him with his own dick.”

I splutter out a laugh. “Whoa! Easy, there.”

“Not even kidding.”

“I’m sorry that Ben and I didn’t tell you about us. We were staying in your home, hiding stuff from you. I’m sorry.”

“I get it.” He sighs. “I’m sorry, too. I’m sorry I doubted you. I thought you were being your impulsive self and bailing on a good thing. I should have trusted you to know what you were doing.”

“Yes. You should have. And that’s what made it even harder to tell you… that I did screw up by getting involved with a guy like that.”

“Fuck. I’m so sorry.”

“I really care about Ben,” I tell my brother. “You talked to him? Are you guys okay?”

“We’re good.”

“Good.”

He gives me the deets on where they’re staying and what time they leave for the arena.

“Oh! Gotta go! They’re making an announcement about my flight.”

“Okay. Love you.”

The flight is delayed again.

Now they’re saying our departure time is 1.10p.m. It’s about a two-hour flight. The team is leaving for the arena at four. I might make it? Gah!

I go up to talk to the gate agent. I don’t want to be that person and I know there’s nothing she can do, which is in fact the case, but I feel I have to try something. Short of sprouting wings, there’s not much else I can do.

Once we land, I take a taxi from the airport to the Hyatt, embarrassingly asking the driver if she can “step on it.”

“What’s the rush, hon?” she asks, pulling out into traffic.

“I need to talk to the man I love. I have to get there before four o’clock.”

“Ah. Okay, then. I gotchoo.” She speeds up.

I fidget and bounce in the back seat of the car, compulsively checking the time and our location on my phone. It’s going to be close. I only need a few minutes. But I don’t want to do this in front of the whole team. Or… who cares? I’ll do it any way I can. I just need to make sure he knows I love him and I figured out that I could trust my feelings.

Then we get stuck in traffic.

Of course we do.

“Busy here for the game tonight,” my driver says cheerfully.

“Yeah.” I sigh.

We pull up at the front of the hotel and a big bus is parked there. No doubt the bus taking the team to the arena. I pay the driver and jump out with my carry-on bag. I can’t tell if anyone’s on the bus because of the heavily tinted windows. Crap.

Maybe they’re still inside? I start toward the hotel door… aaand the bus pulls away.

I let out a small scream, attracting the concerned attention of a few people around me.

I grab the door handle of the taxi I just exited and yank it open. “Follow that bus!”

“Hon, you really do think we’re in a movie, don’t you?”

“Can you do it?”

“I can do it.”

I climb back in, dragging my suitcase with me.

I send a frantic message to Marek between distraught glances out the front window to make sure the bus is still in sight.

Mabel

I’m in a taxi behind your bus. Can you get Ben aside when you guys get off?

Marek

WTF

Mabel

My flight was delayed. I need to talk to him!

Marek

This is a lot of drama

Mabel

Can you do it

Marek

I’ll try

It’s only a few blocks to the arena. You’d think they’d walk, these strapping athletes. Jeez. They’re just pampered, spoiled rich boys.

The bus enters a loading dock to go into the arena.

“I can’t follow it there, hon,” the taxi driver says.

“Are you sure?” I shake my head. “No, no. It’s okay. Let me out here.” I pay her again and haul my suitcase out.

I start down the ramp but am immediately halted by security. “I’m Marek Smits’ sister.” I beam a smile. “He plays for the Storm? He knows I’m here. We need to talk.”

The guy frowns and shakes his head.

Aaargh.

“Really. I’m supposed to be here.” I muster every bit of fake confidence I can. “It’s okay to let me in. It’ll just be for a few minutes.”

“I can’t do that.”

I consider flashing my boobs.

“Oh, watch out! The bus is backing up!” I point behind the guard’s shoulder.

He turns to look.

I dart around him and sprint down the ramp, dragging my pink suitcase.

“Hey!”

Marek and Ben appear.

“Oh, thank God!” I run right up to them. “That guy wouldn’t let me in!”

“Jesus, Mabel.” Marek shakes his head. “Sorry, man. She’s my sister.”

“She can’t be in here!”

“I know, I know, it’s just for a minute.”

“Okay. Fine.”

I scowl at the security guy. “I just told you that! You couldn’t listen to me ? Jeez.”

“You have one minute,” Marek says, and backs away.

I turn to Ben.

“What is happening?” he mutters.

Holy crappleberries, he looks good. He’s wearing his charcoal suit with a silvery gray shirt and tie in checkered shades of blue, fuchsia, orange, and gray. The jacket hugs his powerful shoulders and lean waist, and the pants are snug enough to see not only his thigh muscles but the outline of his… phone.

He looks so handsome and precious and my heart lodges in my throat. I clasp my hands together and stare at him as words back up behind the blockage in my esophagus. Have I lost my chance with this man? Am I too late?

“I’m sorry,” I choke out. “I’m sorry I freaked out.”

One corner of his mouth lifts.

“I had to talk to you.” Now I grab his hands, well, one hand, he’s got a coffee cup in the other. I squeeze. “I went to visit my friends and we talked and then I went to see Julian…”

His eyes widen, then narrow.

“And I told him off and told him to leave you alone, and well, me too, and then I wanted to see you, to tell you that I love you and it wasn’t that I didn’t trust you or believe you, it was that I didn’t trust myself , because Julian made me doubt everything. I felt overwhelmed. Julian showered me with gifts and expensive dates and compliments when we first started dating. I didn’t know at the time that it was love-bombing.” I pause. “Have you heard of that?”

“No.” He moves his head slowly side to side, eyes fastened on my face.

“It’s what narcissists do to manipulate you and make you feel indebted to them. Dependent on them.”

His eyes flash.

“At first it made me feel good. I felt wanted. For a girl who hadn’t had much luck in the romance department, it boosted my ego.”

His jaw tightens. And he listens. As always. My heart squeezes.

“But then he’d do shitty things like ask for the designer bag he bought me back, because I did something he didn’t like. And he started doing other things. I’ve told you.”

He nods tersely.

“Anyway, that night of the fundraiser, you were being so generous with the flowers and the chocolates and the compliments. At first, I thought it was sweet… I mean, I still do think it was sweet, but when you gave me that poem, which wasn’t like you at all, and then you told me you loved me and oh, God, I feel so horrible for how I reacted because I know what happened to you before and how you must have felt, but I panicked because it felt like love-bombing again, like it was too much and too fast and I needed some space to process it and think about it.”

His face changes as I talk, his eyes closing briefly, his mouth thinning.

“And you gave me that space.” I squeeze his hand again. “You gave me what I needed even though I didn’t handle it well and you were probably sorry that you said what you said because I’m such an idiot.”

His fingers curl around mine. “You’re not an idiot.”

My throat constricts. “I ran away. But I needed to do that. I needed to think. I needed to talk to my friends. It helped. I could see that you are nothing like Julian. Nothing .” I hold his gaze. “And I am so, so sorry for overreacting.”

He steps closer and bends his head to me. “I was a little pissed that you took off like that,” he admits, his voice low. “But I did recognize that I probably came on too strong. And I was pissed at myself for doing that. I should have known better.”

“No! Don’t ever be mad at yourself for being vulnerable. I know how hard it is. And I’m sorry I didn’t react well. You were brave to do those things. To s-say that.” I choke up a little. “I want to be the person you feel brave enough to be vulnerable and honest with.”

His eyes warm and soften.

“And… I love you, too,” I say, digging deep for my own courage.

“Oh. Mabel.”

“This is the ugliest place in the world to tell you that.” I let go with one hand and swipe at my wet eyes, standing at the bottom of a concrete loading dock leading into the bowels of the arena with HVAC equipment and machinery rumbling around us, people buzzing around getting ready for the game.

The corners of his mouth lift. “Not the most romantic place, no. But I’ll take it.”

We smile into each other’s eyes.

“Benny!”

We both look to see Marek gesturing from down the hall.

“I gotta go.”

“I know. I just wanted to tell you that. We can talk more later. If you want.”

“Yeah.” He bends and brushes his mouth over mine. “Are you coming to the game?”

“I… I don’t have a ticket.” I press the back of my hand to my nose. “But I can try to get one.”

“Okay. Come back to the hotel after.”

I nod. “I have your room number.”

His eyebrows elevate.

I shrug. “I have connections. Will you get in trouble if I sneak into your room?”

“Yes.” He pauses. “But only if we get caught.”

“I’ll be careful. I know you’re already in trouble because of me.”

“Benny! Get your ass in here!”

“Go.” I let go of his hand and he takes a few steps backward, shaking his head as if he can’t believe what just happened. “Good luck!” I punch a fist in the air. “Go Storm!”