8. Luca

8 /

luca

Saturday Afternoon

The humidity had returned with a vengeance, so I worked out in our building's gym. My pulse pounded in my ears, a steady beat that nearly drowned out the thud of my feet on the treadmill. My chest burned from the effort, but my mind was elsewhere—on Harper. We'd fallen asleep on FaceTime, and this morning, he was still there, tangled in his sheets and scrolling through his phone. Somehow, his sleep-tousled hair and heavy-lidded eyes only made him more irresistible.

He had a few meetings scheduled for today, but we managed to squeeze in a quick chat before he had to go. I'd learned he liked eggs and fruit for breakfast, and I admitted to preferring bacon, potatoes, and sugary cereal. After he headed for the shower, I went downstairs to make coffee. Eggs and fruit sounded good, and I thought of Harper while I ate.

All day, I'd gone back and forth between wondering whether we could last longer than a few weeks, or if I'd gone nuts. When I watched a movie after my workout, I got the idea it was the latter. One of the characters was a blond man, and my hands trembled as I thought about Caleb and heard echoes of his laughter ringing in my head.

I'd been devastated when he told me he was in love with Daniel. The sting of his betrayal was still fresh, which was ridiculous—after all, we hadn't been boyfriends, so what was there to betray? Still, we were best friends and fuck buddies, and it was hard to believe he'd been oblivious to my feelings. Whether it was rational or not, the entire Caleb Event served as a constant reminder of how easily trust could shatter.

I'd be better off if I stopped having stupid fantasies about Harper and recognized the situation for what it was—two horny guys who liked each other. It was time for a reset. As I'd thought to begin with, we could have a few good weeks, but as soon as feelings became involved, I'd check out. There was no way I wanted to be sitting here in a few years having agonizing memories about Caleb and Harper.

Sunday

We'd had another all-night session on FaceTime. After talking half the night, our jerkoff sesh had been even hotter than the first time. When we woke this morning, we did it again. I could get used to spending the night with Harper, and judging from the fantasies he'd shared, it might take a long time to satisfy him. Though we hadn't discussed it specifically, it was obvious he wanted to be dominated. Since domination play was my kink, we'd be great together.

Sunday was my rest day from working out, so I spent the time playing games, watching movies, and waiting to hear from Harper. I messaged one of my teammates, but he was visiting the Outer Banks with his girlfriend. The same went for my attempts to reach out to William and Emile, friends from college. Emile was with his boyfriend, and William had gone on a cruise with his fiancé. Normally, hearing about all that romance would have made me sad, but this time it didn't. Harper would be home this week, and for a while, I could pretend I had someone.

Fuck all my fears, anyway. I'd grieved over what might have been with Caleb for years, and it had only brought me depression and loneliness. It was time to put the past behind me and focus on having someone special in my life. If I started small—a few weeks with Harper, then maybe a few more with someone else—I might finally claw my way out of the hell I'd lived in for so long.

I was determined to trust Harper. That didn't mean I was ready to settle down for good, but I'd lower my shields enough to enjoy dating him. It was scary as hell, but so was facing down the best lacrosse players in the country while they hurled hundred-mile-an-hour balls at me. I handled that, and I'd find a way to deal with my fear of getting close to someone.

By the evening, I was a nervous wreck, hoping for the courage to follow through on my decision to trust Harper. It was easy to be bold in my head, but soon, he'd be right in front of me, real flesh and blood. Would I feel as confident then?

He'd promised to get in touch after their cookout. Settling down with a beer, I watched TV while I waited. After a few hours, my phone chimed.

HARPER: Are you still awake?

My chest lightened as a swell of energy washed over me.

LUCA: I've been hoping to hear from you. How did it go? Did your old coworkers show up?

HARPER: A lot of them did, and it was great seeing everyone. How was your day?

LUCA: Quiet. I thought about our trip to the arcade for a while. You're still down for it, right? Tuesday?

HARPER: Yeah, about that…

My blood ran cold. Was he bailing on me?

LUCA: What about it?

HARPER: I was supposed to come back tomorrow night, but things have changed.

My blood pressure spiked, and I hoped the top of my head wouldn't fly off.

LUCA: Just say it.

HARPER: I got to thinking about how much I want to see you in person. Since I finished all my business in D.C. yesterday, my friends took me to the airport after today's cookout.

Fuck yes!

LUCA: You're home now?

HARPER: Unfortunately, not. Since I changed my reservation at the last minute, they had to route me through Charlotte. There's an issue with the plane they had scheduled, and we're stuck at the gate waiting for a replacement. Not sure when I'll get back, but definitely before tomorrow.

LUCA: Damn. You've had my hopes up and down so many times in the last few minutes, I'm dizzy.

HARPER: LOL. Sorry. Are you free tomorrow night? What if we have our date then?

I cheered before typing a reply.

LUCA: Why don't you just ask if I'd like a check for ten million dollars?

HARPER: That's a yes, then?

LUCA: The biggest yes you ever had.

HARPER: Hooray! Since I'll be home tonight, we could do something tomorrow during the day if you're up for it. Maybe grab lunch or take a stroll by the lake? I don't mean instead of the date, but as a bonus.

I'd want more than a walk by the water for a bonus, and I suspected he was thinking about the same thing. Sadly, I couldn't do it because I had a damn photo shoot.

LUCA: I'd love to, but I can't. There's a work thing tomorrow, but I'll be finished in time for our date.

HARPER: That sucks, but maybe it's for the best. I should rest up because I'm hoping for a big night. :)

LUCA: I can promise you that. 6? I'll drive.

HARPER: Sure, unless you'd rather I drove.

LUCA: Next time. What's your apartment number?

Crossing my fingers that tomorrow would go well enough for there to be a next time, I picked up my beer and took a swig.

HARPER: Nice try. ;) You'll find out tomorrow.

LUCA: Come on. Tell me and I'll be waiting for you when you get home tonight.

HARPER: And how would you do that since you don't have a key?

LUCA: Jimmy the lock. I'm good with my hands.

HARPER: That silence you just heard was to give me time to roll my eyes ten times. But I guess I'll find out about your hands soon. ;)

LUCA: They can work magic. You could text me when you get home. I'm a night owl.

HARPER: You're persistent, I'll give you that. LOL. Let's let tomorrow be special. If we end up together tonight, there won't be as much to anticipate.

My grip tightened on the beer bottle as my stomach fluttered. Harper was already helping me get out of my messed-up head.

LUCA: Deal, because I'm already anticipating it big-time.

HARPER: Me too. Meet you in the garage at 6. Goodnight, Luca.

Monday

Finley Sports Gear insisted on completing the photography for each year's ads during the summer. That meant I didn't have to juggle them during lacrosse season, which was great, but it resulted in an endless stream of photo shoots from June through August. Although the photographers typically traveled to Buffalo, Finley sometimes flew me to special locations. In early June, I'd done shoots in Hawaii and California.

Although today's session had been long, it wasn't as tedious as other recent ones because my favorite photographer, Elin Souza, was taking the pictures. She specialized in photos showing a lot of skin, so I spent most of the day posing in colorful jockstraps or wearing only a pad or two. In some, I held a lacrosse stick strategically to cover my dick, and in others, I posed behind a goal to keep things out of sight.

I arrived back home before five, giving me time to squeeze in a nap before my shower. Big mistake. Instead of resting, I tossed and turned, obsessing over the date. Excitement warred with an ugly case of nerves because I needed Harper's companionship. Everything had to be perfect for both of us. If I did something stupid, and I was practically guaranteed to, I'd panic.

This line of thought was also placing a burden on Harper. How could I enjoy his company if I dissected every word and overanalyzed every flicker of his lips? Fuck—I was sure to do it, which wouldn't exactly scream "charming date material."

I rolled onto my back and tried to clear my mind, but no dice. A glance at the clock told me I had twenty minutes before I needed to shower. I considered getting up now, but then what would I do until it was time to meet Harper? Freak out in the recliner?

Shit. I've never liked weed, but I wouldn't mind having some now.

I needed to chill because I knew what was bothering me so much. Grabbing a pillow, I put it over my face. If I put my fear into words, I'd be hurling into the toilet in no time.

If I give it a voice, it won't have power over me.

Goddammit! I threw the pillow on the floor and sat up, clutching my stomach. The mirror across the room mocked me with an image of myself I wouldn't want Harper to see—red-faced, sweaty, and eyes wide with panic.

I have to tell him about lacrosse.

"Fuck me!" I yelled, flopping back onto the bed. Harper and I liked each other, and this evening would give us a chance to get better acquainted. Hopefully, our outing would be followed by a night wild enough to go down in the record books. I'd give him the fucking he was so desperate for, and maybe we could enjoy some kink. I was open to more than sex, but it wasn't only up to me. He had to want it, too.

I took a long shower before engaging in a fierce internal debate about what to wear. Eventually, I settled on white shorts and a navy blue T-shirt, but then second-guessed myself for another ten minutes before adding a light blue button-up shirt on top. It was a casual look, but the clothes were new, and they made me look about as good as I could hope for. After a moment spent stocking my pockets with condoms and packets of lube, I headed downstairs.

A knot of worry twisted tighter in my stomach as the moments crawled by. Standing near the silent elevators, I willed them to come to life. Where was he? While I fretted about that, a fresh wave of anxiety hit, this time about my car. Would he like it or think it was overkill? Too materialistic, maybe? After Finley gave me the endorsement deal, I treated myself to a metallic black BMW M4. It wasn't the flashiest Beemer out there, but compared to what I could have afforded without Finley, it was the latest model spaceship. I loved the car, but I'd heard a lot of jabs about "jocks and their toys."

God almighty. Why did I ask Harper out? This won't be good. Do I still have time to ? —

"Luca? You okay?"

I spun around, a grin spreading across my lips as Harper came into view. Dressed in dark blue shorts and a plaid button- up shirt, he was gorgeous. The shirt's short sleeves showed off his muscular arms, and the shorts hugged his thighs with their massive quads. I considered suggesting we go back upstairs.

He snickered. "To repeat myself, are you okay?"

"Yeah," I croaked. "I…" Swallowing hard, I tried again. "You look fucking awesome."

He tilted his head and smiled. "I checked you out, too, before I said hi. You look like a model."

"Thanks." Was this the time to tell him about Finley? No, no, no. He doesn't even know I play lacrosse. At a loss for words, I went with the only thing that came to mind. "I didn't hear the elevator."

"Took the stairs." He held out his arms. "Come here. I need a hug."

I stepped into his warm embrace, and he purred when I leaned against him. Scents of vanilla and citrus tickled my nose, and by the time he released me, my heart had slowed its frantic pace.

"Not too late to change your mind about driving," he said. "We could go in my SUV."

"Nah, come on. Let's get on the road." I took his hand, and his touch calmed me as I led us to my car.

"Shit!" He glanced back and forth between me and the vehicle. "Is this yours? I looked at these before I got my SUV. It's killer in black." He grinned as he inspected the car, then fixed me in a seductive gaze. "A sexy guy with great taste. Well done."

My mind raced as I unlocked the car and helped Harper into the passenger seat. Call me old-fashioned, but I enjoyed being a gentleman. His comments echoed in my head as I slid behind the wheel. Had he opted for the practicality of an SUV, or was the Beemer out of his budget? Backing out of the parking space, I glanced at him. "What kind of SUV do you have?"

"Audi Q7. Are you familiar with them?"

"They're kick-ass. I considered getting an SUV, and the Q7 was definitely on my shortlist. How are you liking it?"

The Audi SUV was impressive, but like my car, not ridiculously expensive. Harper obviously earned enough to skip the base models, but his choice was solid and responsible. He hadn't mortgaged his future for a ride. We chatted about cars while I maneuvered us onto I-190, but then an unaccustomed silence settled between us. It wasn't exactly awkward, but since it was our first date, the quietness was charged with unease. Harper's breaths seemed shallow, which made me wonder what was going on. Why the hell hadn't I turned on some music?

"Have you lived in Buffalo long?" he asked.

"Five years. You just moved here, right?" Jesus, Luca. Way to sound like an idiot. "Sorry. What do you think of the city so far?"

His chuckle was the warm, friendly one I'd heard during our FaceTime calls. "I haven't seen much of it yet, but I have some time before work officially starts, so I'll probably do a lot of exploring."

I wondered why Harper already had time off from a brand-new job. "Buffalo's a pretty good place," I said. "How did you like D.C.?"

"Too fucking hot, and too many people who think they're far more important than they are."

"Totally get it. I've been there a few times when we're—" I barely cut myself off before saying "on road trips." While I struggled to finish my sentence, inspiration struck. "I have some time off, too. If you want, we could knock around town together. There's a lot to do here, and I'd enjoy showing you around."

"I'd love it if you're sure you have enough time."

"A few months." Remembering the coming photo shoots, I added, "There are some work things for the next few weeks, and then I'll be totally free until October."

"Wow. I only have until September."

For the hundredth time, I wondered what Harper did for a living. Was he a teacher? He was plenty smart enough, and that would explain having the summer off. Tonight, I would come clean about playing lacrosse, and dinner seemed like the right time to do it. We'd have a chance to deepen our connection first. "Until September? Plenty of time to explore the Queen City together."

He laughed. "Queen City?"

"Funny, huh? When I moved here, I was so curious I looked it up. It's called the Queen City because it's the second largest city in the state."

"And there I thought it was because a lot of gay people live here."

I snickered. "Well, there is that. And now there's one more."

After a polite chuckle, he grew quiet again. I tried to come up with a good topic of conversation, but he spoke up before I thought of one.

"Luca?"

I glanced over, surprised to see sweat on his forehead. "Should I crank up the AC?" I asked. "It's hot outside."

"I'm good." After a sigh, he dropped the bomb. "What do you do? You have a long time off from work, so I was wondering."

Fuck me. Shit, shit, shit. I wasn't a praying guy, but right then, I chanted, genuflected, and lit a candle in my head. Please, please be the one guy in the universe who thinks this is no big deal.