Chapter Nine

IN THEFantana family kitchen, Tyler fussed with the place settings again. His mother’s good china, cloth napkins, candlesticks—nothing needed to be fancy, but he wanted it right.

Mr. Poops meowed and wound between Tyler’s ankles, nearly tripping him again. “Hush, you menace.” Tyler scooped up his marmalade overlord and cuddled him close, breathing in the familiar warmth of his fur. “What if he hates enchiladas? Or Nadia’s snarky matchmaking? Or… this shirt? I still think it’s too tight.”

“Tyler. It’s fine. He doesn’t hate anything.” Nadia was being very patient with him.

A sharp rap rattled the front door, and Tyler’s heart leaped. He put the cat down and caught sight of his own shirt. “Aw, Poops. Now I’m covered in fuzz.” He brushed his chest with his hands and then rolled the sticky lint roller across himself.

Nadia reappeared in the pantry doorway. “Calm down. You’re fine. Promise.” She dragged a big X over her heart with her finger and winked at him. “You look very eligible.”

Tyler consciously forced his shoulders to relax. At least he knew she knew; that would be a help. If it killed him, tonight he was going to tell Josh the truth.

Defuzzed and a little calmer, he followed Mr. Poops into the living room as Nadia opened the door. Josh stood beaming on the threshold, gripping the necks of two wine bottles in one hand and handing Nadia a bouquet of sunflowers with the other.

“You shouldn’t have,” Nadia said, ushering him in.

Josh rolled his eyes. “Your brother is poisoning me for dinner. It’s the least I can do.” His gaze found Tyler’s, and a slow smile bent his mouth. “And it’s good to see you all scrubbed up.”

Heat flushed Tyler’s cheeks. “Are you calling me dirty?”

“Boys, behave.” Nadia plucked the wine and flowers from Josh’s grip. “I’ll put these in water. Tyler, why don’t you take Josh to the living room.”

A squeak from below as Mr. Poops demanded his share of the conversation. Tyler obliged and scooped him up. “This is Mr. Poops. You’ve met him before, I think. If anyone gets poisoned, he did it.”

With Mr. Poops balanced across his shoulder, Tyler showed Josh to the cozy living room, past the hallway gallery of family portraits and school photos and the dogleg den that had been his and Nadia’s playroom as children when his mother was working. Josh’s arm brushed Tyler’s, sending a skitter of sparks across his skin.

“Looking good.” In the kitchen, Josh nodded at Nadia. “You made a bunch of changes.”

“Nadia made some renovations a few years back.” Tyler jerked his chin at the new windows and polished terracotta floors.

“After our mom passed. Just to refresh. You know.” Nadia handed Josh a knife. “Make yourself useful, Joshua. Bell peppers.”

“I can only cook because Tyler keeps trying to teach me.” Josh nudged Tyler’s elbow, his dark blue eyes dancing. “Bossy.”

“Welcome to the Fantana house of horrors,” Tyler said, nudging him back.

“Pure torture.” Josh’s gaze softened, bright with affection.

Tyler’s chest tightened. Tonight, he’d tell Josh the truth. That he was terrified of losing his best friend, but he couldn’t ignore the incendiary chemistry between them. A risk, but one he needed to take. He only hoped Josh wouldn’t get weird if he didn’t feel the same.

Tyler chopped onions and stole glances at Josh, who hummed along to the radio as he worked. The familiarity warmed Tyler, reminded him of cooking with his family before his mom got so sick, talking and teasing each other.

“Earth to Tyler.” Nadia snapped her fingers in front of his face. “You’re not chopping, you’re just staring. Those onions won’t dice themselves.”

Tyler blinked, cheeks heating. “Just thinking.”

“Do tell.” Nadia raised an eyebrow.

Tyler shot her a warning look, but she only laughed.

“We need to get these in the oven or I’m sending you up to Famiglia for a pizza.”

Josh glanced between them, eyes curious, but he didn’t pry. Tyler was grateful for his tact. He focused on dicing the onions, but his thoughts continued to drift, imagining what might come after dinner.

The onions stung his eyes, and he told himself that was the reason for the prickling behind his lids.

With the prep work done, they slid the enchiladas into the oven. “Perfect timing,” Nadia said. “Dinner in twenty. You guys go set the table.”

“I live to serve,” Tyler said, giving her a mock salute.

In the dining room, Josh nudged him again. “Everything okay? You seem… I don’t know. Worried about something.”

“Nope.” Tyler gulped and grinned. “A little news is all. We can talk after dinner. Everything good. Thanks for coming over.”

Josh studied his face, then blinked, slow and sweet. “Okay, I’m here.”

Tyler nodded, a tickle of sweat along his ribs. Tonight, everything might change.

With Nadia finishing the poblanos, they settled in the living room, the savory aroma of enchiladas wafting through the house. Tyler sank into the sofa, pulse skittering as Josh sat beside him, their thighs barely touching.

As soon as they sat, Mr. Poops padded over and leaped into Josh’s lap with a plaintive yowl. “You’re a big loaf of cat.” Josh laughed, scratching the purring fuzzball behind his ears. “I think he’s adopted me.”

“He knows a sucker when he sees one,” Tyler said. But the sight of Poops kneading Josh’s leg, eyes closed in exquisite pleasure, stirred a rush of affection.

Nadia came in, carrying a photo album. “So, I hate when assholes do this to a guest, but we’ve been making her enchiladas, and the oven needs us to kill a couple minutes, so tough….”

Josh craned forward. “Your mom?”

She nodded and sat on the ottoman across from them and opened it to a picture of their mom at the beach, smiling into the camera.

“I only met her a few times, before she got—”

Tyler nodded. Their mom’s cancer had been fast and taken her almost without warning. He’d just signed his second NFL contract with the Swells, and Nadia dropped out of college to nurse her. A rough time.

“We don’t have many photos of her,” Nadia said, watching Tyler’s eyes, then Josh. “But I thought you might like to see. This is when we planted the gardenias in the backyard. She loved white flowers.”

Josh gazed at the picture of the tiny dark woman who’d raised them so well, his eyes softening. “She looks so happy.”

“She was,” Tyler said. “The best.” He peered at the photo, a familiar ache blooming in his chest. How he wished his mom could’ve really known Josh now, as a man. “Her family was from Caracas, but they immigrated in the sixties. She grew up in Temecula.”

Nadia turned the page. “Here we are as kids. Gymnastics, I think. Yeah. And that’s first communion, which may have been the only time Tyler washed his face before he moved into the locker room.”

Josh cocked his head at Nadia. “I didn’t remember that your mom was so tiny.”

Nadia shrugged. “Venezuela.”

Tyler nodded. He got his dark hair and skin from her, but his size from his horrible dad.

As she flipped, Tyler noticed that Nadia had carefully removed and cropped every single photo of their father. With good reason. He frowned at his knuckles. He really appreciated her keeping what mattered and weeding out so much of the ugliness.

“That’s our tacky cousins. Then… I think that’s Disneyland.” Nadia kept flipping, leaning forward so that Josh and Tyler had to press shoulder-to-shoulder to see. “And Tyler winning something else, again. That looks like Easter. Oh hey, me playing beauty parlor…. Look at Tyler’s hair!”

“No, don’t show him that!” Tyler protested, but Josh was already chuckling at the sight of ten-year-old Tyler in baggy Spider-Man briefs with a spectacular cowlick.

“Wow.” Josh’s eyes crinkled at the corners, and Tyler’s heart squeezed.

“I was not exactly adorable.” Tyler gave Josh’s arm a shove, but he was fighting a grin.

Nadia poked him. “Very adorable. Even Poops thinks you’re adorable.”

“You’re ganging up on me again.”

“That’s what we do.” With a sniff, Nadia closed the album and stood. “Humiliation complete. Enchiladas headed your way. Coming?”

In the dining room, Tyler served as they sat, and everyone dug into the enchiladas with groans and exclamations of appreciation. Tyler’s nerves had mostly settled into a warm hum of contentment. Having Josh here, sharing this meal, felt so comfortable, so real.

“Well, this is the best dinner I’ve had in I don’t know how long. So thank you both.” Josh lifted his wine. “I’d like to raise a glass to your mom. I wish I’d known her sooner and better.”

Tyler gave Josh a grateful nod. Nadia raised her glass and carefully wiped her eyes, trying not to smudge. “Salud.”

Nadia sat back. “I am stuffed. Shall we?”

Tyler stood and followed Josh to the living room.

They sat on the couch, their legs knocking together companionably. Tonight, Josh had worn chinos and a deep blue knit shirt, just about the color of his eyes, that made his hair seem even more gold.

Tyler looked up and caught Nadia watching him watch Josh and blushed.

“Anyone need a top-up?” Nadia held up the wine.

“Please.” Tyler raised his glass. If nothing else, the alcohol was keeping his nerves at bay. He wasn’t letting Josh leave before he made things plain between them.

Nadia poured. “Josh?”

“I’m good. I have to drive.”

“So, uhh, Josh….” She tipped her head at him with a wicked expression. “Has America’s Tightest End shown you his time capsule?”

“Nadia.” Tyler pointed a warning finger. “Don’t you even.”

“I mean, we’re talking about boy archeology.” She squirmed away, laughing.

Tyler stiffened, pretending to be more defensive than he felt. “Oh no…. Don’t you dare. Again with the ganging up.”

“It’s like, old-school Smithsonian puberty in there, fascinating and mysterious but also a little scary.”

Tyler drained his glass and put it down. He needed his hands free. He stood and playfully grabbed his sister.

Josh chuckled. “I can imagine. After all, my room was probably worse. You don’t even know.”

“Impossible.” She dodged Tyler, trying to cover her mouth, both of them laughing. “Pennants and deflated balls. Scout badges and snapshots pinned to the corkboard. Weird costumes he wore for pep rallies. Pro-wrestling posters.”

“Hey! Don’t judge,” Tyler barked in wounded laughter. “You had posters.”

“Nice ones. You had boy bands, spandex wrestlers with mullets, and worse, I swear.”

Josh nodded, grinning.

“Don’t encourage her.” Tyler tried to cover her mouth, but she ducked and slipped away.

“Rows of these little dusty trophies for anything: under-five karate, hot-dog eating, butt-juggling. But freakiest of all—” She turned to Josh again, laughing and scurrying to keep away from Tyler. “A hidden jar of finger-scooped Vaseline that expired in 2006. I mean! And so help me, a pile of crusty magazines under that saggy, stained twin bed like an NC-17 medical experiment. That whole room is only held together by semen and pigskin.” Nadia was laughing so hard that now Josh was laughing too.

“You’re both horrible and I hate you.” Tyler rubbed his face and let his shoulders fall, mock defeated.

Nadia shrugged. “No big deal. Masturbation is normal and healthy.”

He turned to Josh. “She is lying to you now.”

Nadia shook her head. “As if.”

Tyler winked. “I threw out the magazines.”

Josh laughed, and Tyler laughed with him, but Nadia gave them a knowing smile and herded them toward the hall. “Take all the time you need.”

As requested, Tyler opened the door to his boyhood bedroom and let Josh explore for himself.

Josh took his time, handling the bits of Tyler’s memories with almost conscious care. He read the invites and the clippings, brushed the little trophies and model cars. He clocked all the cheesy, beefy athletes and pretty boys that had shaped Tyler’s fantasies and ambitions. His methodical scrutiny didn’t seem invasive, more understanding, as though he was deciphering the code of Tyler’s secret heart.

Seeing Josh browse the abandoned clutter of his whole life felt… odd and vaguely sweet, private in a good way. He had nothing to hide, certainly not from someone who had come to matter so much.

Tyler sighed. He had half a mind to confess everything right now.

Josh looked up with a kind expression. “This is a great room. It feels like you.”

Tyler laughed. “Not quite. Look at all this.”

Since he’d come back, Tyler hadn’t had the heart to change anything in here. He didn’t want to get too comfortable, and remembering this other life accurately, honestly, felt essential somehow. His shrink could probably explain. Maybe something about his mom, his life, his path. He shook his head to clear the thought.

“Don’t tell your sister.” Josh leaned over to whisper. “Mine was way worse.”

“I refuse to believe that.”

Browsing the shelf above the desk, Josh flipped open a yearbook full of signatures. “Your mom kept the past safe for you. And then your sister. So you could go out and conquer the world. I love that.”

Tyler nodded, stunned by the way Josh always cut right to the point, his absolute clarity. “They did.”

“Hey….” Josh picked up the copy of The Three Musketeers he’d bought Tyler in Ocotillo Heights. “You’re reading it.”

Tyler’s brow furrowed in confusion. “Of course I am. Why wouldn’t I?”

“No, I don’t mean it like that, but….” He blinked and ran his hand over the old cover. “I mean, you started right away.”

“Well it’s either that or Atlas Shrugged. No thanks. I hated that crap the first time.”

“No lie.” Josh nodded and chuckled, then riffled the pages.

“I thought you knew…. I love it. I should’ve said something.”

“About Musketeers?” Josh looked perplexed.

“That’s where our whole library scheme came from. It’s D’Artagnan’s fault, actually.” He poked Josh with a wicked grin.

Josh laughed and squirmed. “Do what now?”

“That guy! What a dumbass. He shows up with all these assumptions and barges into everyone else’s fights. At first I thought I was Porthos. But I’m not. Or I’m not always. No one is.” He shook his head, feeling like he’d said too much. “That’s not the point. What I mean is, the book came alive. So really this whole library rescue scheme is your fault.”

Josh handed the book back. “Where are you at?”

“D’Artagnan just beat DeWinter and met Milady. You know.” He cocked one rakish eyebrow and put his hands on his hips like a swashbuckler. “The more hearts are worth the capture, the more difficult they are to be won.”

Oh.

He realized what he’d said, but he just left Dumas’s words right out there.

“Uhh.” Josh’s gaze held his for a moment, but then before either of them said anything too crazy, he dropped his eyes to the twin bed. “I’m going to take your word on the spank bank under there.”

Tyler held up two fingers. “Scout’s honor.”

“Sorry, Fantana. There’s no honor in spank banks.” He grinned. “Let’s get back. I don’t want your sister to have to wash up.”

Tyler followed Josh back to the kitchen, passing Nadia sipping wine on the couch. “We call dishes.”

She raised her glass. “Music to my ears.”

They ended up washing in tandem, like a four-armed octopus, rinsing, and loading the machine. Tyler’s skin tingled with each accidental brush of their skin.

Then they tackled the big pots.

At one point while scouring the roasting pan, Tyler playfully splashed Josh with suds. Josh laughed and sprayed him back in retaliation, and they wrestled, wet, for control of the faucet.

They froze, dripping in each other’s arms, pulses thrumming where their hands grasped slick wrists. Josh’s face only came to Tyler’s shoulder, and Tyler felt super aware of his groin against Josh’s abs. Just like when he’d pulled Josh down onto him after their duel, Tyler panicked. For a breathless moment, neither one seemed to know what to do.

Nadia called from the living room, “For the record, you two hoodlums are cleaning up whatever mess is happening in there.”

They separated sheepishly to dry off as Nadia poked her head in, cradling a sleepy Mr. Poops. “Fellas, I’m pretty wiped out. A little tipsy probably, so me and this rascal are heading to bed.” She gave them a knowing look. “No puddles. Play nice.”

Josh raised a soapy hand. “G’night, Nadia.”

“Night, sis.” Tyler bussed her cheek, certain he was blushing.

Once she was gone, the silence between them grew charged. They began tucking the leftovers into the fridge and freezer as needed. Josh grinned at something.

“What?”

Josh shook his head. “Those enchiladas are serious. The whole dinner. Delicious.”

“Awesome. Thanks for hanging out tonight.”

“Are you kidding?” Josh shrugged.

“We can do it whenever you want. Nadia loved it. I loved it.”

Josh blinked at that and nodded. Mr. Poops wandered back in for a drink of water or maybe to spy for Nadia.

Tyler cleared his throat, focusing on covering the tray of enchiladas with foil. “Oh! I forgot to say before: our library lock-in’s all set for next month. The librarians loved the idea of Three Musketeers, and Carver gave us the green light.”

“Seriously?” Josh’s smile was incandescent as a sunrise. “That’s—wow. Musketeers is a perfect idea. How did you manage that?”

Tyler shrugged, heat creeping up his neck. “Just got to get approval from the school board. But it’s a classic. And with Principal Carver on our side, should be simple enough.”

As Tyler and Josh finished cleaning the kitchen, an easy silence fell between them, broken only by Mr. Poops’s rumbling purr where he curled up on the windowsill, blinking his enormous orange eyes at them like a drowsy chaperone.

As they moved around the kitchen, Tyler savored each glance and casual touch, thrilling at the secret intimacy.

Once the kitchen was spotless, they stood there a moment, the only sound the dishwasher’s muted churn. Josh leaned against the counter, smiling at Tyler in a way that made him short-circuit.

Josh asked, “All good?”

“So good.” Tyler ambled back into the living area and realized that before Nadia hit the hay, she had gone for full, obvious, bachelor-pad mood lighting. Only things missing were low sax music, a bowl of condoms, and an ice bucket.

Tyler winced, torn between annoyance at his sister’s meddling and gratitude she approved of Josh.

“I guess my sister turned everything down when she went to bed.” He scratched the back of his neck. The low lights and plumped cushions all felt fake, like a staged seduction on a soap opera. “We could go outside. Get some air maybe? The moon should be risen by now.”

Tyler appreciated Nadia’s efforts, but Josh deserved something better, something real. He opened the door to the patio.

“Sure.” Josh followed Tyler out the back door into the cool night. “Oh… this is lovely. I’ve never seen all this.”

“Nadia’s kept it up. My mom put this in after my dad split.”

Josh nodded. “And that’s the gardenia. White flowers.”

“From the picture. Yeah.”

They wandered the garden path, shoulders brushing. Tyler stared up at the sky as a nervous energy crackled between them.

“Is that a little tree house?” Josh was looking up at a tiny cottage and a series of small ledges nailed to a trellis that led up to it.

“I built that for Mr. Poops.” Tyler frowned. “When I first got home and I could barely get out of bed. Nadia knew I needed a project, so she asked me to make something out here for that crazy cat.”

“He’s pretty terrific.”

Tyler pointed at Josh and chuckled. “See, that’s how he gets you. We never had pets growing up. My father hated animals. But about a year ago, Nadia came home from the grocery store and Mr. Poops was sitting inside the garage yowling at her like she was late for an appointment. Dumb cat.”

“Not so dumb.”

“Well, no. That’s the thing. He wouldn’t scram. He just kept being loud and cute until Nadia gave up and gave in. Now it’s like he’s always lived here. Sleeps in my bed most nights.”

“I’ve always wanted a pet, but I’ve never had the nerve.” Josh sounded sheepish at the confession.

Tyler looked at him like he was bananas. “They aren’t scary.”

“I think it’s all the feelings. I worry too much. If something happens, what do you do?”

“You deal.” Tyler turned and tapped his heart. “I mean… right?”

Josh laughed. “Yeah. Of course.”

“Until you do, you’re welcome to come borrow Poops anytime.”

“Deal.” Their eyes held again for a bunch of heartbeats.

The backyard was bright under the moon, the air balmy and soft.

After a few minutes of companionable silence, Josh turned to say, “Well… it’s getting late. I should head home.”

“No.” Tyler didn’t want him to go. He still hadn’t said any of the things he needed to. “Don’t go yet.”

Josh looked surprised. “Oh. Okay. If you want.”

“That sounded bad.” Say something, dummy. Tell him. “I just like you being here. A lot. If you need to go, I’m not going to keep you prisoner.”

Josh bumped against him. “You already abducted me once, remember?”

Tyler stepped in to stand behind Josh under the twinkling stars, close enough to feel the warmth of his body.

Josh turned as if to ask him a question. For one long moment of anticipatory silence, Tyler felt the shimmer of all his unspoken emotions hanging in the air. And then Josh reached up and touched Tyler’s face wonderingly.

All his fears fell away. Tyler turned his face into Josh’s palm and kissed it with passionate intensity, trying to communicate everything in him in one movement. “I can’t help it.”

Josh froze again but didn’t take his hand away. At first his eyes looked terrified and titillated.

Unable to resist one more second, Tyler leaned in and kissed Josh, folding him in his arms and devouring him, claiming him, pouring all his longing and desire into the burning place where their mouths met.

“Unf.” Josh made a happy sound at the back of his throat. After a startled heartbeat or two, Josh’s arms rose and closed around Tyler. Josh tipped his head and kissed back with real hunger, growling and grinding against him.

Tyler couldn’t get close enough. Bending his knees, he pressed Josh back into the tree trunk. He pulled and grabbed at Josh’s flesh, grappling with all the raw strength bundled in his arms.

Josh grunted at something and stumbled a moment, but then they were braced solid and his erection pressed hard against Tyler’s belly, humping against him. The pleasure was exquisite.

Tyler ground his own boner into Josh’s muscle. His skin was fire, and heat crackled around them both. If he wasn’t careful, he’d lose control standing in his boyhood backyard and cum in his boxer briefs. “Wait—wait. Hold up.”

“Sorry. Oh.” Josh raised a shaking hand to his lips. “Sorry.”

“No. Not that. No, Josh. Look at me. Not sorry. For this? Please don’t ever be sorry. I’m sorry. I didn’t even ask. I shouldn’t have jumped you like that, but you make me so crazy.”

Josh blinked. “Know the feeling.”

Tyler bent down and pressed a firm kiss to Josh’s mouth again, savoring it. “I couldn’t stop myself. Swear to God I tried, but I just couldn’t keep control of it anymore.”

Josh looked stunned and nodded. “Seriously?”

“Josh, I’ve been trying to find a way to say something. You don’t even know. All these weeks going out of my mind.” He raised a hand and touched Josh’s beautiful face, traced the perfect line of his jaw. “But I saw you back then. High school and all. I mean, there was me, some dumb jock, and you were a genius. What chance did I have? And if I’d done anything, said anything….”

Josh squinted at that. “I don’t believe you.”

“I know. I’m sorry. But I was too scared. Of the guys. Of you. I couldn’t be queer back then. Captain of the team. MVP. They would’ve been awful to both of us. I couldn’t take the risk. And back then football was my only ticket out, state then pro. I had to save my family, and I had one shot.”

Josh nodded, looking over Tyler’s face like he was reading it. “I get it. I can’t quite believe, but I understand.”

“But when I saw you at the track, that first morning, I couldn’t believe. Like a miracle. I can’t explain.” Tyler bent to kiss him again, pushing his tongue across Josh’s and gripping his biceps hard. He pushed one arm behind Josh’s back and pulled him closer, tighter. He’d never felt so possessive of anyone. He hitched Josh closer, almost lifting him off the ground.

A hand on his chest pushed back. Josh was holding him at bay gently, eyes lowered as if burdened by a secret of his own.

“Hey. What is it?”

Josh stepped back from him. His arms hung limp at his sides, and his eyes were shadowed by the moon. He looked pale and haunted. “Tyler….”

“Tell me.”

“I’ve had a crush on you since, well, forever.” He swallowed, licked his lips. “I’ve wanted you for most of my life. Since high school. Way before you were famous. I guess it’s good you never knew. I have been pining for you since I was fourteen years old.”

“You did? You do?” Tyler’s heart roared in his ears.

“Terribly. Continually. I’ve wanted you for so long, and I needed to be honest before anything else happens. And after tonight, I’m not going to be able to fight the feelings anymore when I’m with you.”

“Okay. That’s okay. You liking me is more than okay.”

“I don’t think so. All this past month, you kept being so funny and charming. Almost like flirting.”

“Because I was flirting. And getting nowhere, I might add.” Tyler couldn’t understand why Josh suddenly seemed so sad. “I feel like an idiot.”

“No. I figured you guessed or knew about… everything.”

Tyler shook his head. “How could I know?”

Josh laughed and wiped his eyes. “Well, as it happens… lots and lots of complete strangers pine over you all the time. But not like I do.”

“I don’t care about them.” Tyler kissed him again, until Josh pulled back, his brow creased.

“That’s not what I mean, Tyler. Before you got famous. I fantasized.”

“I’m not mad. Why would I be mad?”

A tear slipped down Josh’s face and fell. “You don’t understand. I feel gross admitting it now. But I want to be honest with you. I don’t—” He sighed. “The way only a horny, lonely teenager does. I used you. I must’ve biked past this house a couple hundred times, right out front. Stalking you. I mean, worse than magazines under the bed. I jerked my dick raw. It’s embarrassing to admit it. Every game. Every rally.” He was crying for real now.

Tyler blinked at the intensity of Josh’s confession, trying to feel like he deserved all that devotion. “Hey. It’s okay. You didn’t hurt anything. Don’t.” He brushed away Josh’s tears. “I’ve got you.”

“Seems crazy now, because I know you now. Real you.” Josh shook his head. “But back then, I spied on you. When our eyes met, or if you bumped against me by accident in the hall, I’d shake. I couldn’t help myself.”

“Josh. Don’t cry.” Tyler raised a hand a stroked his hair, his face. He pressed a kiss against his brow and held him close. “I’m right here. It’s okay. Shhh. Hey. I’ve got you. C’mere.”

Cradled against his chest, Josh stilled. “Unhealthy, I know. All of it. All these things I projected onto you when you were a kid yourself. And totally unfair to you. Because I knew you were unattainable. Any kind of relationship was impossible.”

“It wasn’t, though. I wasn’t, Josh. I was just too stupid to notice. My family was broke, and as long as I could play football, I had a shot.”

“But you came back. After all these years, you got hurt and came home. We spent all this time and then I got to know you, and now… I think I’m an asshole. For treating you like that for so long. I was an asshole to you all this time.”

“Why? No. Hey… look at me. Because you had feelings?”

Josh lifted his damp face to look directly into Tyler’s eyes. He frowned and shook his head “You’re better. You’re so much better than I knew. And funnier, sexier, smarter, kinder. I feel like a complete jerk.”

Tyler ran a hand up his neck and into his soft hair. “Not even a little.” He tenderly cupped the back of Josh’s head.

“I don’t want to freak you out or scare you away, but I had to tell you, and I did not have the nerve until you kissed me like that, like you meant it.”

“Then I better kiss you again, sweet boy. A whole bunch of times.”

Josh smiled at that, and Tyler bent down and kissed his chuckle—slow, sliding kisses until Josh stopped crying against his cheeks and Tyler cradled him like something fragile.

“Shhh. Now listen. You are….” Tyler pressed his lips to Josh’s forehead. “The most wonderful person I’ve ever met in my life, Joshua Ayres. A blessing. And if you want to stalk me, harass me, or molest me in any way, you have my absolute permission to use me as much as you’re able. Anything. I want every filthy bit of it. Your absolute worst. You hear me?” He kissed Josh’s lips and squeezed him hard. “I want it bad.”

“Ugh. Awful.” Josh hiccupped and laugh-cried at that, wiping his smiling face. “Jeez.”

He kissed the side of Josh’s head. “What’s the matter?”

“It’s too much. I don’t know where to put everything you’re doing to me.”

“Right here, man. You give it all to me. I can take it.” Tyler flexed his arms and made a dumb face. “I wish you’d said something. All that time.”

“I couldn’t back then. And now, I was terrified of wrecking this… whatever has happened between us since you came back, if I screwed up,” Josh confessed, voice shaking. “Impossible. I thought you’d hate me.”

“Good luck with that.”

Josh looked him in the eye. “Thanks for understanding.”

“We’re a pair, huh?” Limbs still tangled, he touched Josh’s mouth, his damp lips swollen with kisses.

Josh tipped his head back. “You think?”

“And plenty possible. Your heart’s beating so fast.” Tyler pressed a hand there and peered at Josh a moment. “You realize that we’re both so afraid of messing this up… that we almost messed this up.”

Josh frowned. “This is what we get for tiptoeing around each other second-guessing everything. Pretty dumb.”

“Maybe. I would say pretty.” He kissed Josh. “And smart. Seems like we got where we needed to when it was time.”

Josh smiled at that. “If you say so. I don’t know about you, but I’ve been quietly going out of my gourd.”

“The past couple weeks have got me rethinking everything I do, all I am.” Tyler pressed a hand against Josh’s heart, feeling the hungry thump of it. “Truth is, I want you more than anything, Joshua Ayres. And I’m going to work like hell to deserve anything you’re willing to let me have.”

Tyler kissed him again and then licked down the line of his throat, gnawing on the muscle while Josh whimpered and squirmed against him.

“Hang on, Ty. Hold up.”

But Tyler sucked harder at the salty flesh, stealing the sweet sounds from Josh like a robber. He pinched Josh’s stiff nipples through the shirt, and delicious sweat ran down his face and chest. Tyler groaned in pleasure as Josh started to quake, twitch, and pant.

“Whoa. Easy. Eeeasy, fella.” Josh pushed back again and laughed. “You’re going to make me embarrass myself more. Jesus.” He reached down and adjusted the stiff ridge behind his zipper. “Gimme a sec or I’m going to lose it.”

“We could take this inside.”

Josh glanced at the house. “We could.”

Tyler leaned back against the tree now, bracing himself against it, dying to take his dick out right here. “I mean, we’d have to keep quiet, but I’m willing if you are. Nothing crazy. We’re consenting adults.”

Josh shook his head. “I don’t think tonight. God, I want to, but I think a little time isn’t a bad idea. We’ve had quite a night already. We could both use some sleep.”

“Josh, come on. Look what you’re doing to me.” Pushing back against the bark, Tyler reached down and squeezed his own straining lump of cock through the jeans.

“Same. All the more reason.” Josh wiped his mouth and nodded down at their pressed erections. “It’s a school night. We have an early run.”

Tyler kissed his throat and bit Josh’s earlobe.

Josh whimpered in pleasure and licked into his mouth, sucking at his tongue with gentle insistence.

Pulling back, Tyler pressed their cocks together through the denim. “Evil.”

“Hey. You gave me permission. You just said you wanted it bad.”

“Jeez. Seriously evil.” Tyler ground into him, savoring the friction and knowing how close he was to the edge.

They kissed once more, slowly, breathing each other in, pulling closer and marking each other. By now, Tyler could feel the outer limits… if he kept going a little further, he’d fall over the cliff just like this.

Tyler tried again, flashing his most winning grin. “Okay—okay. Second offer, we’ll just sleep. Just spend the night next to me. No wanky. No hanky-panky. Just to be able hold you and sleep would be better than anything.”

Josh had the nerve to laugh at him. “Uh-huh. Like that would happen.”

“Argh.” Tyler’s heart thudded with a mix of disappointment and gratitude; he tried to ignore his hardness throbbing between them. He whispered, “Joshua. You’re so cautious.”

“I try to be.”

Tyler smiled, staring up at the dark sky then back into the dark blue eyes. “Don’t you ever do anything half-assed?”

“Nope. Full-assed only.” Josh looked wicked and took two big handfuls of Tyler’s glutes, spreading them and kneading them with a hard grip. “I’m a demanding bastard. I want the whole damn thing to myself for as long as you’ll let me.”

Tyler groaned and kissed him, tasting his tongue and pushing back into his hands. His dick flexed in his pants again, flexed hard, the crown almost cresting his waistband. A little more, just a little more pressure and he was going to—

Josh stepped back. “You think I’m na?ve, Fantana? With that big knob dribbling on me? Not going to happen.”

Tyler sighed, disappointed and weirdly elated too. Not many people had ever resisted a charm offensive that way. “You’re in charge.”

“Hardly.” Josh took his hand and tugged him away from the tree, heading for the curved path. “Walk me out?”

Tyler nodded and let Josh lead him to the gate and out to the curb, feeling the ache in his dick, a heavy longing but also a funny peace. Josh had promised nothing, yet given everything.

Standing beside the truck, Josh turned to Tyler one last time. They kissed under the starlit sky, nothing raunchy but so real, so true it burned his lips. Tyler felt so full he thought his heart might melt.

Josh pulled back, eyes bright in the half light. “Tomorrow?”

“That’s a start.”

Josh’s truck engine started, and he drove off, leaving Tyler leaning against the front door watching, his humming heart on his sleeve.

He watched until the tiny red taillights slipped out of sight, the night suddenly chilly and clear, and he knew that nothing would ever be the same again.

The stars shone down on him from above, and he didn’t even need to look up to feel them.