Chapter 12

I'd spent more time with Aiden these last few days than I had when we were dating. Back then, we had stolen moments when we'd sneak out and talk in the bed of his truck or make out for a few minutes before I had to go inside.

But now, we'd been working together, sharing meals, and I was in the cab of his truck on our way to the Monroes. It smelled overwhelmingly of him: cedar and all man. I wanted to reach over and hold his hand like we had when we were kids.

But we weren't dating. We weren't anything. Coworkers. Maybe friends. What if we reconnected just for my trip? Could I handle a physical relationship without losing my heart to him? I'd started to suspect I'd never truly gotten over him because I got all tingly when he got too close. It was getting harder to hide my reaction to him.

Thankfully, he hadn't hugged me again. I wouldn't survive another encounter where our bodies were touching. I'd grab his neck and bring his mouth to mine. I let out a shaky breath.

Aiden glanced over at me, his hand resting on the top of the wheel. "Are you nervous to hang out with the Monroes?"

If I thought him driving a truck was sexy, I was in trouble. "Not really. I'm not involved in whatever's going on with the farm."

"You've always been confident in yourself." His tone was full of admiration.

"That's a good thing, right?" I watched his face for his reaction.

His lips quirked. "I always found it sexy as hell."

"Are you talking about when we dated before?" I shifted on the seat so that my knee was on the cushion and I was facing him.

Aiden glanced over at me quickly before he turned his attention to the road. "You knew I was attracted to you."

"Yeah, because of my looks maybe, but not—"

Aiden interrupted me and said, "You think I was that shallow? That I wasn't attracted to you as a person? You stood up for me in third grade when one of the kids called me trailer trash. You said, and I quote, You think you're better than him? And when he just laughed, you yelled, and I quote, Shut the fuck up."

I shook my head, embarrassed at that outburst. "I got into trouble for that one. Dad hated when any of us swore. But Teddy said I should have punched him."

Aiden's lips twitched. "I bet you could have."

I smiled softly at the memory. "My brothers taught me to defend myself."

Aiden shook his head. "Like I said. Sexy as hell."

Warmth flushed through my body, and tingles ran up and down my spine. I don't know why, but his admission was a huge turn-on for me. Some guys were intimidated by me, but Aiden liked it. "Well, that's good to know."

He reached over and touched my thigh, squeezing it before retreating to his side of the cab. "You know you're attractive."

"That wasn't exactly what you said though. You tied it to my strength instead of just my beauty." I had this primal urge to straddle his lap and grind myself over his cock. Because I had a feeling he was hard just talking about his attraction to me. We'd always burned hot as teens, but now that we were adults, I was interested to see if it was even better.

He probably learned a few new things on the way. Goosebumps erupted over my skin at the possibility.

"I thought you were pretty. I still do. But I'm attracted to you because of your personality, how you hold yourself, and how good of a person you are."

I winced. "You still think I'm good when I left my family after my mother died?"

Aiden shook his head. "You didn't leave. You were away at college."

I huffed out a breath. "I didn't come home."

"You were there for the funeral. Besides, no one wanted you to quit school." Aiden reached over and touched my hand. "You didn't do anything wrong. You were grieving, and there's no wrong way to do that."

"If you say so," I conceded knowing my family had said same something similar.

Aiden raised a brow as he turned onto the farm's lane, drove past the white farmhouse.

"I love these lights," I said as I admired the poles on the side of the road where strings of lights hung.

"Heath said they put them up after their father's death because their mom was walking the grounds late at night."

"Wow. That's just—"

"Beautiful?" Aiden asked as he parked behind a line of trucks all pulled off to the side of the road.

I looked at the lights, then at him. "Yeah."

"You ready to see the lights?"

"Let's do it," I said as we opened the doors and got out. Aiden met me at the hood and held his hand out to me. "I don't want you to fall. The terrain is uneven."

"Are you sure?" I asked him, wondering what the Monroes would think to see us holding hands.

"Heath and Marley know about our history, and who cares about the rest?"

The Monroes weren't our family. It was just Marley and mine I was concerned about. "True."

For one night, I could enjoy the feel of his hand in mine. I could pretend that we were more than we were. That we were dating each other and didn't need to keep it a secret.

When I rested my hand in his, he squeezed it briefly before we started walking. It was dark out so we could see the glow of lights up ahead.

"Talon built the lights. He designs light fixtures, and he's been featured in various magazines. We've been in talks with him to design something for the basement."

"Marley said not to worry about the lights. That he would make something that would fit the space."

"His work is impressive and unique. I'm excited to see what he comes up with."

"Me too." The renovation would go on when I moved back to the city. The thought made my heart jump. I didn't like the idea of not knowing what was going on here, not being involved in the final decisions, the decor, and eventually the grand opening. The project had become important to me. It felt like I was a part of something bigger than anything I'd ever done before.

When we reached the crowd of people, Marley and Heath broke away from the group and moved toward us. Aiden dropped my hand, and I tried not to let that hurt.

"You came," Marley said as she pulled me into a hug.

Marley was great at making me feel like I belonged. "I can't wait to see the lights. I don't get much time to do holiday things in the city."

"Well, you can't avoid them here. You're surrounded by Christmas."

Heath clapped Aiden on the back. "Thanks for coming."

Aiden nodded, and we moved forward with the rest of the group. If anyone thought it was weird I was here, they didn't mention it. But then again, I was staying at the inn. It made sense for Aiden to invite me. Especially since we worked together.

I had the whole explanation in my head in case anyone asked about me, but it wasn't necessary. Heath introduced me to his brothers—who I knew vaguely from school—their significant others, and their nieces, Addy and Ember. Lori rode in a golf cart with Talon and Holly.

Occasionally, Talon would pause and tell us a story about why he came up with the design or what he was thinking when he made one thing or the other. The display was separated into different categories, like holiday scenes and nursery rhymes. It was interesting to hear how his mind worked as an artist.

It felt similar to what we'd done with the renovation. We were inspired by something or the other. For me, it was nostalgia. I could remember going to the movie theater with Aiden and cuddling in the back to watch whatever was playing. There, we didn't have to hide. Even though that's exactly what we were doing.

Aiden didn't hold my hand again, but he stayed close, occasionally touching my elbow or my lower back. His proximity had all my nerves on edge. I wanted him to touch me, to kiss me. Being this close to him wasn't a good idea, and I was about to be snowed in with him at the inn with no other guests.

"Are you okay?" Aiden leaned in close to ask.

I sucked in a breath. "Yeah, I was just thinking about the storm."

Aiden looked up at the sky, and I admired the scruff on his jaw. "You can feel it in the air."

We'd reached the end of the display, where a Santa popped out of a present. The movement was neat and captured my attention for a few seconds. The girls had already seen the display and were chasing each other around.

"Can you imagine yourself settling down one day, maybe even having kids of your own?"

"You already asked me that," I said, my back stiff.

"Maybe it's too soon, but I wanted to see if being here changed your perspective on life." Aiden's voice was soft.

He wasn't pushing me; he was genuinely curious.

I shrugged. "I'm not sure." I knew what I was supposed to do. Go back to my apartment and job in the city and work hard. Look for a job where my boss appreciated me, but what if I never found that? What if I felt lonelier than ever when I returned? What if I wasn't fulfilled by my job anymore? Now that I'd seen how people lived here, living on Christmas tree farms, at the inn…

Aiden's hand ghosted down my arm, and his fingers tangled with mine. "You feel it, don't you?"

"How magical it is here?"

A smile spread over Aiden's face.

"You two coming to the bonfire at the main house?" Heath asked us.

Aiden didn't drop my hand, and my heart pitter-pattered when he said we could come for a bit.

Heath grinned. "I heard all the guests checked out. It's just you two in that big inn. You want to stay with us?"

"Nah. We're good where we are," Aiden said.

Heath and Marley used to live at the inn too, but when Cole bought his own place, they moved back into their cabin here. Charlotte stayed in their guest room.

Heath gestured around the property. "Each one of us built a cabin."

"I'm surprised you can all live here without fighting."

"Oh, we do that too. But we like being close. We want our kids to grow up together, to be raised the way we were. We loved running these fields." Heath watched Ember and Addy as they giggled and chased each other.

"See you there," Aiden said as we walked toward his truck.

We had to go through the whole light display a second time to get to our vehicles.

This time, everyone talked among themselves, the couples holding hands, or with one arm flung over a shoulder. It was nice. I wished my family got together like this. It seemed like we were never in the same place at the same time.

It couldn't necessarily be helped, but I didn't have to be the one not making an effort to come home. I could still visit even when I went back to work. But I knew that was unrealistic. I traveled most weekends to hotels. Now I'd need to report to my ex who was hired after me and didn't have the vision I had. It would be awkward at best.

My chest tightened.

"What are you thinking about?" Aiden asked when we were inside the cab of his truck.

"Work."

Aiden patted my hand. "No thoughts about work tonight. We have a bonfire to get to, s'mores to eat, and a snowstorm to experience."

"That sounds nice." I relaxed into the cushions of the seat, watching Aiden as he put the truck in gear and drove behind the line of other trucks down the hill toward the main house.

"By the time you have to go back, you won't want to leave."

"Is that your plan?" I teased him.

He glanced over at me, and his expression was more serious than I expected. "Would you be upset if it was? I just want you to be happy."

I let out a breath. "No."

"Good," Aiden said as he parked and we got out, meeting everyone behind the house by the fire pit. Knox and Emmett threw wood on the fire, and Lori went inside with Sarah and Ireland to grab the fixings for s'mores.

When Aiden returned to my side, I asked, "Are you sure that Emmett doesn't mind that I'm here?"

"He might, but he won't say anything. From what Heath has said to me, they've talked to him about accepting Daphne and her family."

I tipped my head to the side. "He's still not okay with it?"

"Probably not. But he'll get over it, and if he says anything to you, I have your back." Aiden threw his arm over my shoulder and pulled me into his chest. It could have been construed as a friendly gesture, but it felt like a claiming. My hand touched his chest to steady myself, and I felt his heart beating under my palm.

"You see what you do to me? What you still do to me?" Aiden's voice was low and husky. I wanted to suggest that we get out of here, but we'd only just arrived, and maybe I'd misconstrued his statement.

"What are you two doing over here by yourselves?" Heath held out beers for us.

"Thank you," I murmured as I accepted the bottle.

"Fiona's worried that Emmett is having an issue with her being here, seeing that she's a Calloway." Aiden tipped his head in Emmett's direction.

Heath frowned, then looked across the fire at Emmett, who'd picked up Ember and was tickling her. When Heath turned back to us, he said, "Honestly? He has more of an issue with your brothers. We'll handle him if he gets out of line. Marley works with you, so you're here as our friends."

Interesting that he hadn't said I was here as Aiden's date or guest. He had to be wondering if working together was changing things between us. I spent more time thinking about it than I wanted to.

Heath dipped his chin. "The offer stands if you want to chill here instead of at the inn."

Aiden cleared his throat. "I need to clear the snow and make sure things are running smoothly. There aren't any power outages, that kind of thing."

"We can keep working on the shelves in the bowling alley too," I added.

Heath raised his bottle slightly. "I have the bowling alley mechanic coming out at the end of the week. Hopefully, the snow's cleared out by then."

"Should be."

Heath looked around the group. "Let me know if you need help."

"You have enough to keep up with here," Aiden gestured around at the farm.

Heath turned his attention to Aiden. "Yeah, but I have four brothers. You just have yourself."

"That's what I'm used to. I'll get it done."

I wondered if Aiden was used to relying solely on himself. Surely, he relied on his fellow soldiers in the military. But at home, he went back to his old ways, doing everything himself.

"We'll let you know if we need anything."

"Enjoy your evening." Heath winked. "And the storm."

"Does he think something's going on between us?" I asked Aiden.

"I think he wants everyone to be paired off. He fixed things with Marley. He thinks we can do the same."

"Things are different with us. I live in Chicago, and you live here. Neither one of us wants to move." Except I wasn't so sure about that anymore.

"Marley lived in California. But she had an online business that could be run from anywhere, and she fell in love with the farm, Heath, and his family. I don't have that kind of pull. I just own an inn and have a sister. No parents I'd want to introduce you to, and my grandmother already passed away."

"I had a great relationship with your grandmother. Did you know she wrote me when I was in school?"

"She gave me updates on your progress but she never said how she knew."

"Maybe she didn't know if you'd want to know she kept in touch with me. But I loved your grandmother, and she's still here." I touched his chest over his heart. "And in the inn. She's in everything you do there."

Aiden cleared his throat. "I like that."

We considered each other for a few seconds and then a flurry fell between us.

"It's snowing," I said as I lifted my face to the sky.

The flurries quickly turned into big, fat flakes.

"The weather app says it's going to come down at a rate of an inch an hour when it starts," Emmett read from his phone.

"You two better head back to the inn before it gets worse," Heath called over to us.

Aiden stepped forward, touching Heath's shoulder, promising to see him soon. Then he hugged Marley. I did the same, and we were inside his truck with the heat cranking in no time.

I turned on the radio, searching for holiday music. "I'm looking forward to being snowed in."

Aiden smiled over at me. "I am too."