Chapter 12

A silk dress dripping with my release after an insanely fast and powerful orgasm is not how I planned to spend the second half of this evening. But a girl can't complain.

Boris and I have had our fair share of sexcapades, but I think that one just set the bar high. I know for a fact that at least two people knew what was going on, but I didn't mind.

To be honest, I think I'm more of an exhibitionist than I realized. First Cillian and now this . I make my way to the bathroom, hoping like hell I can clean up enough to be able to enjoy the last act. I can't keep the smile off of my face as I lock the door and pull up my dress.

Thankfully, it appears my chair took the brunt of my arousal. It takes me a few minutes, and the voices outside the stall grow more distant as everyone files back into the theater. With one last check, I feel confident enough to push open the stall door before moving to wash my hands.

Looking in the mirror, I almost laugh at myself. My hair is falling from the bun I had it in and my makeup is smeared. But I look happy, even if something feels like it's missing.

Bracing my hands on the sink, I take a deep breath and prepare myself to walk back out there. If no one noticed the small wet spot on my dress, there is a lot of other evidence to the fact that I just had a very powerful orgasm written all over my face.

I turn to grab a towel to dry my hands when a figure moves in the corner, startling me and making me reach for the knife between my breasts.

One second I'm looking in the mirror at my freshly fucked appearance, the next I'm being pushed against the counter as I hold a very sharp blade to Cillian's throat.

My breathing kicks up, my head swirling with a thousand questions when he finally speaks.

"You just love to tease a man. Don't you, Sweetheart?"

My brows pinch, but the second I realize what he means, I nearly drop my hold on the damn knife.

"What the fuck, Killer?"

My face is red, adrenaline sky high as I look into the eyes of the man I once thought was the love of my life. Now, all I see is a rabid creature. One who looks hungry for more than my flesh and blood. This monster looks like he wants to consume my very soul.

Has this always been him, or is this one of the things that changed when we were forced to part ways?

I find myself asking that question almost daily, but the interesting part is that no matter the answer, the current me still finds him every bit as attractive and adoring as the old me did.

Maybe even more so now that his crazy can match my thirst for blood.

His fingers reach out as I move to set the knife down on the counter, my hand hovering over it in case he gets any funny ideas. Which is a joke, all he has are horribly funny ideas. Ones that my body craves just as much as it wants to run away from them.

"You look good right after you come."

Those fingers trace my cheek the same way Boris' does, and I slap his hand away.

"Get out of the women's restroom," I say, my face twisting in rage for god only knows what reason.

All I know is I'm hot all over and his presence isn't helping. He risks my wrath, shaking his head as he leans in further. His lips catch my attention, and when he licks them, I get a glimpse of something I didn't notice before.

"You have a tongue piercing?" I blurt out.

Because apparently that is the appropriate question to ask when you're being bent backward over a counter by a man who is very much not your boyfriend , while said very dangerous retired mafia don boyfriend is right outside the door.

He chuckles. "Sure do."

His tongue darts out again, this time curling in a way that has my belly flipping.

"I bet I could make you come so much harder with it than he can."

That comment snaps me back to reality right as the door to the bathroom creaks open, and we both freeze as Boris steps inside. A myriad of emotions flit across his face. Confusion, anger, sadness, but then, something I don't quite know how to interpret settles across his features.

My hands are still on Cillian's chest and he is pressed up against me, caging me into the counter.

"What do you think, Old Man?" Cillian nods to Boris as if he expected him to come in.

"You think you could make her come harder than I did?"

Boris' eyes never leave mine as he folds his arms and leans his shoulder against the wall, crossing one ankle over the other in a move that is both casual and sexy. Almost the same way he does during a business deal when he believes he has the upper hand. This is either going to end badly, or very badly.

"Prove it, Kid."

My eyes pop out of my head at his suggestion. I'm certain this is an alternate universe.

After Boris throws out that challenge, Cillian's eyes meet mine. I'm unable to form words. Nothing will come out of my mouth. All I can do is stand there frozen and try to process what is happening to me right now.

"Just tell me you don't want me and I'll stop," Cillian whispers so only the two of us can hear. "Say it and I'll walk away right now."

Is that really what I want?

None of this is expected, but I know I don't want Cillian out of my life. The time I've spent with him this past week has only solidified how much I really did miss him. He may not feel like home in the way he once did, but he feels safe and fun. Like playing in the light, warm rain with a smile on my face. I don't know if my heart could take it if he walked out that door and I never saw him again.

My gaze turns to glance nervously at Boris. He was so confused when his son chose a life of polyamory. And even now, he still doesn't really get it. Does he even realize what he's suggesting? What this would start?

This wouldn't be a one time thing. Once we open this door, it won't easily be closed ever again. Could we survive the fallout?

As if he can read my mind, Boris twitches his lips and he narrows his eyes, daring me to say yes. When he bites his bottom lip as if he's starving for this moment as much as I didn't even realize I am, some of the wariness eases. The small dip of his head is all the confirmation I need.

Cillian looks to Boris, then to me, just waiting. I don't know if I can give either of them what they want right now. I do remember Evie telling me to claim what I want. So instead of using words, I push myself up onto the counter and pull my dress to the side.

A grin lights up Cillian's whole face as he presses his lean, muscular body between my legs. He is so tall I have to crane my neck to look up at him, but he's a sight to behold. The dark tattoos crawling up his neck and his dark eyes make him look sinister. But the way his lips turn up and his hand gently rubs down my back reminds me that he is anything but when I'm in his arms.

When he leans in to brush a soft kiss right over my pulse, a shudder leaves me, and my head falls back. I close my eyes and soak in the moment.

My first time with Cillian was an inexperienced clusterfuck. I cried and he held me. He was confused and I had no idea what to say after. I swear to shite I almost thanked him. And I didn't even have an orgasm.

But this feels different. This feels as if he has memorized every inch of me and has planned out exactly what he wants to do with me. His lips part again, this time attaching themselves to the skin of my neck and sucking so hard that I nearly cry out.

His teeth meet my flesh, and my back arches as a moan slips out. When my lashes flutter open, I see Boris with his mouth slightly open, his eyes hooded as his hand squeezes the front of his pants. I can't stop the noise that escapes me from the sight alone.

Yup, wholehearted exhibitionist here.

Cillian draws me back to him, popping off of my neck with a very pleased look on his face. I'm about to make a sarcastic comment when his palms land on my thighs and spread me open, leaving nothing to the imagination as he exposes every inch of me.

The faint click of a lock registers before Cillian is on his knees for me. His tongue flicks out, and damn him to hell, the feeling of his piercing running over my all too sensitive clit is the best fucking thing I have ever felt.

The cool contrast of the metal against my hot sex sends shivers down my spine. My hand reaches out to grab onto his head, sending my knife clattering to the floor.

"That's it, show him exactly what you need," Boris demands, his voice deeper and huskier than normal.

Cillian growls, his mouth suctioning over my clit right before he releases me, and his tongue slides inside me. I attempt to pull him closer, but he fights my hold and grabs my hands to hold my wrists firmly at my side.

"We're doing this my way, Sweetheart," he growls. "I want to taste every fucking inch of you. I want to know what makes you scream, what makes these perfect legs shake, and what makes you cry ."

I shudder, looking down at him and nodding my agreement. He has no idea how close I am to all three of those things.

"That's my girl." His breath fans over where I need him, causing me to moan.

When he leans back in, he swipes his tongue at the right angle so his piercing flicks right over my swollen bundle of nerves. My legs are trembling so hard I'm nearly certain Cillian is the only thing keeping me perched on the counter spread open for him.

He circles right around where I want him, leaving me on the edge before moving to my ass. I suck in a gasp at the heightened sensation, my head tipping back while my hips try to grind into him.

"Looks like you found her weak spot," Boris states gruffly.

Cillian groans, releasing one of my hands to rub a finger over my back entrance. It takes every single muscle in my body to keep me upright on this counter.

I'm panting so hard I'm surprised my lungs know how to inhale at this point. Sweat beads on my brow as my climax continues to build.

Boris' eyes are on me, blazing with the heat of the sun, only making the moment that much more erotic. My nipples ache under my dress, pebbled and begging to be touched, licked, and sucked.

An image of Boris fucking my tits while Cillian eats me out floods my mind. I begin panting, worried that when I do finally come, I might disturb the performance that has resumed behind the wall at my back.

Arousal drips out of me and down my ass, surely creating a puddle on the black marble floor as Cillian devours me. Boris watches with keen eyes and a smug expression.

Everything quickly becomes overwhelming as every emotion and sensation rolls through me at once. Joy, happiness, terror, and pleasure. Everything I'm sure Cinderella felt when her prince traveled through time and space for her.

With the two of them here, the room fills with something I never thought I could have. For the first time ever, I feel like my life is full. Even when it was just Cillian and me, I was still chasing this missing puzzle piece that I thought was taking over the Reapers or trying to make my father proud of me. But that wasn't it at all. Even then, I needed Boris.

Just like I need them both now.

Cillian looks up at me, his tongue lodged inside my hot center with that piercing pressing into my walls. His dark eyes seem to sparkle as if reflecting stars in the night. I inhale a sharp breath, and his lips turn up right before he presses a finger into my ass.

Using my arousal as lube, it slides in as easily as his tongue does my pussy. I can practically feel all of the things he is trying to tell me with every touch. I want to cry out in pain, pleasure, and sorrow all at once. Cillian pins me with his stare, vulnerability looking up at me.

But also devotion, yearning, Love. It's too much and yet not enough at the same time, but it has me soaring into an orgasm that I swear to feck transcends time, just like in the play.

Seeing my past, present, and future all at once.

I spasm around his fingers, crying out as my chest heaves in breaths I am no longer convinced I can take. Tears sting the backs of my eyes and they blur as I ride the wave that Cillian brings, my voice stuttering words I can't comprehend. I could be begging for mercy or praying to a deity that I'm not sure exists.

All I do know is that I don't ever want this feeling to end. Reality slams into me like a twenty-foot wave.

I love him. I never stopped.

And with that realization, the room finally comes back into view. Boris' brow is furrowed while Cillian looks all too satisfied with himself. When I finally find the strength in my legs to stand, I turn to look in the mirror.

Someone I don't know stares back at me. That terror that washed over me earlier floods my veins, along with the fear that everything I have come to know is about to come crashing down around me.

It's suffocating. I cover my mouth to stop the scream that wants to break free.

They ruined it. They broke the peace we were starting to find. They both ruined it and there's no going back. There is no finding normal again.

I know Boris; he won't be able to accept Cillian no matter how much I hope he can. Which means I have to lose one of them, or both of them.

"Sweetheart," Cillian reaches for me, but I jump away from his touch and run for the door instead, unlocking it and staring at the man I thought was the center of my universe.

The look Boris levels me with tells me something has changed, but I'm not ready to hear what it is yet. I will not have my life flipped upside down in a fecking bathroom. At least, not any more than I've already allowed.

"Nessa, I…" Boris' voice breaks. And that's all the confirmation I need to get out of here.

My heart aches because I want to orbit around them both. The core of my very being feels like it's being pulled in two as I rush from the room and to the car that will take me away from here.

If only I could pretend tonight never happened.