Chapter Twelve

Abbie anxiously awaited Creed's arrival. They were going for dinner at the diner, and she couldn't wait to see him. The case that had caused them both so much stress was finally over, with Sanchez, Pedigo, and the other men involved all behind bars.

Abbie knew how relieved Creed must be feeling and she was excited to celebrate with him. As soon as there was a knock on her door, she got up and opened it to see the love of her life standing there.

"Hi," he said, handing her a dozen red roses.

"Hi," she replied, taking a deep breath as she brought the flowers to her nose to smell their sweet fragrance. "Thank you."

He leaned down to kiss her. "You're welcome."

"Come in, I'll grab my coat."

"I'm starving," he said.

"Me too. I didn't even have time for lunch today."

"Busy day?"

"Very. I wish something would be done about Copper Ridge. There was another terrible accident out there. And how was your day?"

"Good. I managed to track down some stolen horses."

"That's great." She reached for her coat on the hatrack and began putting it on when Creed took it from her and held it open for her. She slipped her arms through the sleeves, and he pulled her hair out from under the collar before giving her a quick kiss on the neck.

"I've missed you, darlin'."

"I've missed you too."

"Let's go grab dinner, then we can head back to my place and relax for the weekend."

"At your place? I'll need to pack a bag."

"No need," he said with a mischievous grin.

"But I can't just be naked all weekend, Creed," Abbie joked.

"Okay fine, you can bring a change of clothes," he chuckled.

"You're such a troublemaker."

"Yeah, but you love me."

"I do." She traced her fingers over his cheek. "Let me go pack."

"We can come back here after dinner. I'm starving."

"Sounds good."

He took her hand and led her out to his truck. She climbed in and he closed the door before walking around to the driver's side and getting in.

After a delicious dinner and a quick stop at her place for her to grab some things, Creed drove them back to his house. As they settled on the couch to watch a movie, Abbie couldn't shake off the nerves that had been bothering her all evening.

"What's got you so restless?" Creed asked.

Abbie sat up straight and looked at him. "Where is this relationship going?" she blurted out nervously.

"What do you mean?"

"We're in love, so what happens now?" She watched as a smile spread across his face.

"What do you want to happen?"

"Creed, please don't tease me. I'm being serious."

"I'm sorry. It's just too easy." He gently took her hand in his. "Abbie, I do love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want to marry you."

Tears welled up in her eyes. "I want that too, but…"

"But what?"

"What about having kids? I want them, Creed."

"Abbie—"

"Please don't tell me you don't want them."

"And if I don't?"

"Then what do we do?"

Creed stood up and began to pace. "Abbie, you have no idea how much that thought scares me. You know what happened before."

"Creed, the chances of that happening again are slim."

"But it's still possible. It's not uncommon."

"That doesn't mean it will happen."

"Can you guarantee it won't? Look, Abbie, I know you might think I'm overreacting, but it frightens me. The slightest possibility of it happening is enough for me to not want to take that risk."

"So, now what?"

He shook his head. "I don't know."

"I see."

"What do you see?"

"We're at an impasse."

Creed sat back down on the couch, took her hand again, and looked into her eyes.

"I love you, Abbie. We can work through this."

"How? We can't start a marriage without agreeing on our future."

"So, what do you propose?" Creed stood up, put his hands on his hips and glared at her.

"For now, can you please just take me home?" She got up, walked to the kitchen, and put on her coat.

"Abbie—"

"What? Can you honestly tell me that you want children?"

"No."

"Then please, just take me home. We both have some thinking to do." She walked out the door, got into his truck, watched him follow and climb in. She refused to look at him as tears streamed down her face.

****

Creed tightened his grip on the steering wheel, causing his knuckles to turn white. She just didn't understand. The pain he went through when Wren and their child died was indescribable. He lost everything; the woman he loved, their unborn child, and all in one tragic moment.

As he pulled into Abbie's driveway, he couldn't help but think about how it could all be taken away again if they were to have a child. Sure, there was a chance that history wouldn't repeat itself, but there was also a chance that it would.

Glancing at Abbie, who was staring out the window, he knew that she didn't fully comprehend his fear.

Turning off the truck's engine, he made a move to get out of the vehicle.

"Don't bother," she snapped as she stormed out of the truck, slammed the door shut, and marched up to her front door. She forcefully opened it and disappeared inside, slamming the door behind her, causing Creed to flinch at the sound.

The sound of screeching tires echoed through the quiet neighborhood as he put the truck in reverse and floored it. The tires spun wildly, sending pebbles, dirt, and snow flying as he backed out of the driveway. With a quick acceleration, the truck fishtailed down the street, leaving behind a cloud of smoke.

Frustration and anger boiled inside him as he slammed the door shut upon arriving home. He flung his coat and hat onto the rack before stalking into the living room, Ranger trotting at his heels.

Collapsing into his recliner, he mindlessly picked up the remote and aimed it at the TV screen, not really seeing anything that was playing.

"Fuck," he shouted, releasing some of his pent-up frustration. But it didn't ease the pain in his chest or the regret for how things turned out.

Hours later, exhausted and defeated, Creed trudged to bed and fell into a restless sleep. This was definitely not how he had hoped the night would end.

Monday morning arrived too soon, and Creed dragged himself into the office, running on no sleep. His phone was a constant temptation, begging him to call her and make things right. But what could he possibly say? They had already said everything there was to say.

He knew she wouldn't pick up anyway. She was still too hurt and angry. Maybe in a few days, he could try again... but until then, he would be miserable without her.

****

Abbie sat on her couch, consumed by sadness. Her mind drifted to Creed, the man she longed for but knew she couldn't be with. They didn't want the same things in life. She yearned for children with every fiber of her being, but he couldn't see a future that included them. At thirty-seven years old, time was ticking away, and she wanted to have children before it was too late. And while he had once shared that desire for kids, his tragic past had changed everything, but that didn't mean it would happen again.

"Doesn't mean it won't either," she muttered under her breath.

Her phone buzzed, and she almost jumped to answer it, hoping it was Creed. But instead, it was Lorna.

"Hi," Abbie answered.

"What's wrong?" Lorna asked immediately.

"It's over between Creed and me," Abbie replied with a heavy sigh.

"Why? What happened?" Lorna pressed.

Taking a deep breath, Abbie recounted the events leading up to their breakup. Lorna's audible sigh echoed through the phone.

"Abs, he's scared," Lorna explained. "Remember how I felt about falling for another man in a dangerous job? That's how he feels. Sure, you could be fine giving birth, but there are no guarantees. Losing the woman he loved, and their baby was traumatizing. It's enough to scare even the strongest man."

"I know," Abbie whispered, her voice trembling with emotion. "But Lorna, you know how badly I want kids. It's always been my dream. Jeremy and I put it off for so long and now... I'm almost forty and still haven't had a baby." A lump formed in her throat as she fought back tears.

"I know but give him a few days. Maybe he'll change his mind if it means having you in his life."

"I doubt it. He was so angry when he brought me home. Of course, I was too." She sighed. "I don't know what to do."

"You could adopt."

"Adopt?"

"Sure, why not? You'd have your baby, and he wouldn't have to go through the birth and thinking he'd lose you and the baby."

"I don't know."

"Just think about it. If you really want him back in your life, it might be the only way. Don't make the mistake of letting the best thing to ever happen to you walk away."

"I want my own baby, Lorna."

"I get that, but you do what you have to. I think you two need to talk. I mean, really sit down and talk."

"I'll think about it. How's Eli now since catching those men?"

"He's a lot less stressed. He came home all smiles the day they knew Sanchez was going to prison. Life without parole. Seems he wanted to make a deal to the possibility of parole, and Dave, their boss, said if Sanchez wanted to chance going to trial, they'd do that. He agreed to the deal. He's damn lucky he didn't get the death penalty like Pedigo did. I hope he rots in hell."

"I do too, though probably not as much as you do. Look, it's late, I'm going to take a hot bath to relax and hopefully get some sleep tonight."

"Alright. Hang in there. It'll work out. Love you."

"Love you too." Abbie hung up, tossed the phone onto the sofa, and cried.

Monday morning, she entered the hospital and got to work. She knew if she stayed busy, Creed couldn't invade her thoughts.

Just her luck, it was a slow day. Some people came in because they had the flu, but other than that, it wasn't busy at all. She sat behind the counter going over charts and then talking with patients about what to do once they were released. Other than that, she was bored out of her mind and Creed kept creeping into her head.

She just didn't know what to do about him. Did she really want to adopt? She knew she didn't. She wanted her own child like most women did. If she couldn't have a baby with Creed, she'd have to move on and find someone new. God, that hurt. Her heart ached knowing he'd never be in her life again.

****

Creed sat at his desk, gazing blankly at the glowing computer screen in front of him. Despite his love for his job, he couldn't shake the overwhelming desire to be anywhere but here. He longed to see Abbie, to feel her warmth and hear her voice.

"You lost her, jackass," he muttered in frustration.

"What?" a familiar voice broke through his thoughts.

Creed looked up to see Alex standing by his desk with a smile.

"Nothing. Just talking to myself," Creed replied with a forced smile.

Alex chuckled. "Woman problems? I can't even count how many times I've talked to myself when I met Dylan. Hell, I still do because of her."

Creed leaned back in his leather chair and sighed. "Abbie wants kids."

"I see. And you don't?" Alex asked sympathetically.

"I can't go through that again," Creed confessed, running a hand through his hair.

"I understand your fear, but the chances of it happening again are slim," Alex reassured him.

"But what would you do?"

"Since I never experienced it firsthand, I have no idea. But I do know that losing Dylan would devastate me. However, anything could happen at any time, Creed," Alex said.

"Yeah, I get that. But going through it once was enough to make me not want to take that chance again."

"So, you'd rather lose her now?" Alex questioned.

"I already have," Creed admitted with a heavy heart. "We argued and she ended things between us."

"And you're miserable as hell," Alex pointed out. "Is it worth losing her over this? You should cherish every moment you have with her, just like you did with Wren."

Creed shook his head sadly. No one could fully comprehend the pain he had endured when he lost his wife and daughter. He would never forget the doctor ushering him out of the delivery room, only to give him the devastating news that his baby girl had been stillborn due to complications with the umbilical cord. And then Wren had hemorrhaged and passed away, leaving Creed alone and broken.

Anger had surged through him, threatening to consume him as he sat in his car and wept for his lost family. He had made a promise to himself that he would never put himself or another woman through something like that again.

But now, he missed Abbie more than words could express. Could he overcome his fear and watch her go through labor, knowing there could be a chance of losing her in the same way? It was a terrifying thought that plagued his every waking moment.

"Creed?" Dave's voice interrupted his thoughts.

He looked up to see his boss standing in front of his desk with a file in hand.

"Yeah?" Creed responded, trying to push aside his inner turmoil.

"Doyle is transferring here. I thought you should know since you worked with him."

"That's great news. He's an excellent agent," Creed replied, trying to sound enthusiastic.

"I'm glad you think so too. I want you to go to this address," Dave continued, handing him a piece of paper. "It seems the Bailey farm has reported missing horses."

"Yes, sir," Creed replied dutifully.

Dave paused for a moment, studying Creed's troubled expression before walking back into his office.

Wishing he could clear his head and focus on the task at hand, Creed grabbed his hat and coat before heading out to the Bailey farm, hoping that solving this case would somehow bring him some peace amidst all the chaos of his personal life.

After leaving the office for the day, he headed home. But as he passed by the turn-off to Abbie's house, he couldn't resist the urge to see her. He slowed his truck and turned down the road to her place. Her car was parked in the driveway, and he took a deep breath before pulling in behind it. Despite his nerves, he walked up to her door and knocked. When she opened it, he could tell she had been crying.

"Creed? What are you doing here?" she asked.

"Can we talk?" he replied.

She hesitated, but then opened the door wider and let him inside. He removed his hat and coat and hung them up. As he stared at her, he fought the overwhelming desire to grab her and kiss her senseless. Instead, he followed her to the sofa and sat down next to her. Women always seemed to scare men, Creed thought.

"Abbie," he said, "I miss you."

"I miss you too, but we want different things," she responded.

"I want you, and if that means having kids with you, then we will."

"What?" she exclaimed.

"We'll have children," Creed asserted. "As many as you want. I just want you back in my life."

"Creed, you have to want them too. I don't want you saying this just to get back together and this isn't something you can change your mind about once we get married."

"I won't," he promised. "I love you."

"I love you too, but it scares me that you will feel differently later."

He took her hand in his. "I promise you, I won't. God forbid something should happen to you, but if it did, I'd still cherish the time I had with you. Like I did with Wren. I do want to have kids with you."

"You do realize that something could happen to you too," Abbie pointed out, "but I'm willing to take that chance."

Creed frowned. He had never considered that perspective before. She was right; nothing was guaranteed in life.

"You're right. I never thought about that. I have a dangerous job, and if you're willing to take a chance, then I am too. We'll get through this together. Abbie, I want to marry you and have a family," he declared.

"Lorna suggested adopting."

"Not unless we have to. I want to have a baby with you."

"Me too." She reached up to touch his cheek.

Without hesitation, Creed leaned in and kissed her lips. When she moaned, he pulled her onto his lap and deepened the kiss.

"I need you, baby," he murmured against her lips.

"I need you too," she whispered back.

Creed stood up while still holding her and carried her upstairs to her bedroom. He placed her on the bed and removed her clothes before quickly stripping himself. He grabbed a condom from his wallet and handed it to her before moving to get on the bed. But she shook her head and got on her knees, moving closer to him. She took his dick in hand and slid her mouth down over it.

"Abbie," he groaned as she sucked on him.

When she ran her tongue around the head, he hissed in a breath and groaned even louder. His hands tangled in her hair.

"Fuck... Abbie."

Pulling away from her enticing torment, Creed gently laid her back onto the bed, positioning her at the edge for what was to come. He spread her legs wider.

Breathing heavily, he slowly eased into her welcoming heat. The familiar sensation of being enveloped by her tightness made him throb with pleasure. She arched beneath him as he started to move rhythmically, each thrust driving both of them closer to the brink of ecstasy.

Their bodies tangled together in a fervent dance of primal passion, their shared desire reaching fever pitch. They were lost in their world where nothing else mattered but the feel of each other's bodies joining together in an age-old ritual of pleasure.

Creed stared at her, a beautiful sight that sent waves of need coursing through his veins. Her whimpers and gasps egged him on as they rode out their shared climax; raw and untamed—just like their love for each other.

Abbie cried out as she came, and Creed followed her over. He leaned down and kissed her. He would never get enough of her, and he knew they'd always be together. He couldn't wait to see what the future brought.