1. Chapter One

Chapter One

The Past

“What if we get caught?”

“Isn’t that part of the thrill?” Seth grins at me with his panty dropping smile. The one that got me into this position. In his room. In his bed. Doing naughty things that we shouldn’t. Since the day we met, all I’ve wanted is this. His lips on mine.

We’re dirty and wrong.

I’m his secret.

He calls me his hellcat.

His heaven and his hell.

Because no one can know about us.

One day, we’ll really be together. And everyone will know that I’m his girl.

When his friends are around, he pretends to hate me and messes around with other girls.

When it’s only us, he’s sweet.

I wish it could always be like this .

The two of us, alone in this room. A space where no one else exists.

Present Day

“Are we still on for tonight?” Tonya smirks deviously at me as she undoes the strings of her apron and tosses it into her locker.

“I don’t know.” I straighten my ponytail and test my pen on my order pad, wondering if Tonya swapped our pens again when I wasn’t paying attention. She’s always stealing my good ones.

“What do you mean you don’t know? Don’t be a sourpuss and wuss out on me. This is the first night I’ve had a babysitter in months, and I want to go watch hot dudes pummel the shit out of each other.” She swaps out her work shoes for flats. Tonya worked the breakfast and lunch rush, and I came in about halfway through her shift to work the split shift.

I’m just happy I’m not stuck on closing, but I still have another three hours.

“Don’t tell me you’re still pining after that asshole biker.” I scrunch my nose.

“No, but if he is there and wants to give me a ride on that purple headed monster then…” she shrugs.

“Never call sex that again. Please and thank you.”

“Pfft. Whatever. I’ll be expecting you at my place. You can wear something of mine. None of your stuff is slutty enough for where we’re going tonight.” She flashes me a dazzling smile that is normally reserved for male customers she’s hoping to earn a big tip from.

“Yeah. Yeah. I’ll be there.” Tonya knows how I feel about hanging around bikers.

They remind me of my former stepbrother. When our parents were married, he was always tinkering with his motorcycle or getting into fights. He stayed in trouble. So much so that all our parents did was fight about what to do with him.

He’s probably in jail if he’s not dead.

I shake off those old memories. The last thing I want to do is reminisce about the past or Seth. He’s long gone and has been out of my life for nearly a decade.

“Perfect. Don’t be late.” Tonya gives me a little wave and exits the back door with her purse slung over her shoulder.

“Order up,” Carl shouts from behind the counter, signaling that my break is over.

I arrange steaming hot plates of food on the tray. The scent of burning bacon and freshly brewed coffee permeates the kitchen of Trish’s Diner. A busy restaurant that’s a second home to me with how much time I spend here. I glance at myself in the reflection of the glass cooler reserved for the creamer and orange juice. My lipstick is long gone, and my eyeliner could use a touchup.

Ugh. Looking haggard isn’t going to earn me any decent tips, and I could use the money. Tonya has mentioned my moving in with her a few times to make life more affordable for the two of us, but I prefer to be on my own.

I nod before balancing the tray above my shoulder with one hand so I can weave my way through the crowded tables without any incidents. The five o’clock early dinner crowd has hit. I’m in for another busy evening of serving country fried steak dinners to flirty truckers and worn-out locals looking for a hot meal and a familiar smile.

“Here you are, folks,” I announce, mustering as much fake cheer as possible, placing plates in front of a couple who dine together every evening like clockwork. Janice and Leonard. He’s the county attorney, and she’s the vice principal at the elementary school. They always order the same thing. “Enjoy your meals.”

“Thanks a bushel,” Janice replies, her eyes crinkling thoughtfully at the corners as she cuts into her grilled lemon pepper chicken. Her companion grunts in his agreement, already too busy inhaling his burger to bother with making polite conversation.

Watching the two of them, I wonder if I’ll ever find my person .

“Can I get a to go box?” someone from table four calls out.

The remainder of my shift continues in much the same way, a blur of orders and conversations dotted by wisecracks and the occasional spilled drink or dropped food sticking to the bottom of my antislip shoes. Waiting tables isn’t exactly glamorous, but it pays my rent and keeps my mind off my recent breakup with Cade.

Which is the only reason I’m going out with Tonya tonight. I need to stop moping around over that asshole.

By the end of my shift, I’m dead on my feet. What I really want is to go straight home, but I’ll never hear the end from Tonya if I bail on our plans.

I don’t bother changing out of my work clothes. Tonya will just want me to swap my outfit for one of hers when I get to her place. I make the drive to her apartment across town. The opposite of where I live. She lives in an income-based unit. Considering her ex-husband never pays for child support, she needs all the help she can get. I know splurging on a sitter is a rare treat for her. It’s why I always give her cash for her birthday and Christmas.

The woman has what she calls mom guilt. Meaning, any extra money is almost always reserved for her daughter. I park in the guest spot and walk up the stairs to her apartment. The sound of Elmo screeching from her TV fills the breezeway and I smile .

Tonya’s ex-husband might be a piece of crap in the dad department, but he fathered the cutest little girl in the world. When he found out that Kaydence had down syndrome, he claimed she wasn’t his. Dude is a real loser. Tonya and Katydid are better off without the asshole in their lives. Luckily, Tonya’s mom watches her when she can’t afford to send her to daycare. And when I can, I pitch in.

I knock twice, and the sitter comes to the door. “Hey, Lottie. Tonya’s in the bathroom doing her hair.”

“Thanks, Brenda.” She’s an older woman who used to work with us at the diner but retired last year. She watches Kaydence when Tonya’s mom needs a break or when Tonya doesn’t want her mom to know she’s going out. Linda has this weird attitude about Tonya getting involved with anyone. She’s mostly being cautious about anyone potentially coming into Kaydence’s life, but Tonya deserves to be happy.

I greet Kaydence with a smile, and she returns squirming around and dancing to Elmo.

Tonya is in the bathroom spraying enough hairspray over her bottle red hair to choke a horse.

“Good. You’re here.”

“I promised I would be.”

“I laid your clothes on the bed. Did you bring shoes?” She spares me a glance as I wave a hand in front of my face, trying to escape the sticky cloud as she does another round of spritzing her curls.

I dart down the hall before I die from ingesting all those chemicals. She can’t be serious. There’s a little black dress slung across the foot of her bed. There’s not enough material to cover my ass, let alone the rest of my torso.

With a sigh, I move to her closet and start sliding the hangers across the rack, hoping to find something that won’t reveal everything the good man upstairs blessed me with.

“Get out of my closet and put on the dress,” Tonya snaps at me.

“Oh, is that what you call that scrap of fabric? I thought it was for Kaydence.”

“Ha. Ha. It stretches. I’ll have you know.”

I arch a brow at her. “Uh huh. Sure it does,” I tell her, my tone heavy with skepticism like my facial expression isn’t giving me away. “Is there enough time for me to hop in the shower and wash the stink of grease off my ass?”

“If you don’t wash your hair and you stop arguing about the dress and trust me.”

“Fine.”

She smiles, satisfied, thrusting the slinky dress into my arms. “Now get to gettin’.”

“I’m going. I’m going.” I could be rude and take my time long enough to make us late, but I won’t do that to Tonya. I rush into the shower and start scrubbing. I know that being on her own gets stressful, and she needs this night out. We both do, really. My mind drifts back to Cade. The prick who ghosted me. One day, he simply stopped calling me. His number was disconnected, not even a full day later. The jerk vanished without a word. The first week I was afraid something terrible had happened to him, but I guess he forgot we were friends on social media, and I could see he was active, mostly late at night. Then I spotted his car around town. He could have broken up with me like a normal person.

I towel off and slip on the dress. Tonya wasn’t wrong. The material stretches and sticks to all the right places. I wish Cade could see me in this. I’d tell him to eat his heart out.

I redo my ponytail and freshen up my makeup. If I’m going out, I might as well give my full effort to look damn good.

Who knows what the night will bring?

As soon as I park, unease fills me. There’s a sea of motorcycles lined up in front of the entrance of what is normally an abandoned gymnasium that was part of the old high school before they built the new one closer to the freeway. Tonya and her love of men who ride will be the death of me. She grins big, staring at her phone.

“Wait until you see Ghoul’s friend.”

“Wait what? You didn’t mention anything about meeting his friend.”

“You can thank me later,” she practically squeals. “He’s fit as fuck. You’ll see.”

Reluctantly, I follow Tonya into the fray. She grabs my hand, rushing through the growing crowd. My belly does a dip. Heat flashes up the sides of my neck.

This is what I get for coming to the city with her.

Bikers and violence.

At least they are pretty to look at with their tattooed, slicked up bodies. Weaving our way through the energetic crowd, we end up at a makeshift bar selling overpriced plastic cups of tap beer. “Two please.” Tonya hands the man ten bucks.

“None for me,” I tell her as she tries thrusting one of the piss hot beers into my hands.

“Come on. One drink won’t kill you.”

“Maybe not, but I’m driving,” I remind her.

“Fair enough. I’ll give it to Ghoul. He said he’d be in the back by the locker rooms.”

“Great,” I mutter to myself. Ghoul isn’t one of my favorite people. The dude only uses Tonya as a booty call when he rolls into town every few months. His friend will be sorely disappointed when he realizes I’m not down for a one nighter. I don’t care how hot the guy is. The knowledge that he’s a buddy of Ghoul’s is all the confirmation I need that he probably sucks, too. I’ll probably bail the second Tonya links up with the jerk.

I’m not interested in becoming a notch on some stranger’s bedpost or inviting him back to my apartment.